Cranqsgiving, Day 13
(Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! “Coincidentally,” today is the final day of Cranqsgiving, too – so feel free to catch up on all of the #Cranqsgiving fun whilst digesting your assorted traditional foodstuffs.)
This Cranqsgiving, I’m cranqful for –
Parents whose priorities are so twisted, I don’t even know where to begin.
Cranquis: So, the best treatment for children with croup is oral steroids for 1 to 5 days.
Crunchy Granola Mother: Oh no, MORE chemicals? I’m already feeling so guilty because I broke down and gave him Tylenol last night for his temp of 101.
Cranquis: Well, y'know, I’m a dad too, and I always try to avoid medications in kids unless it’s necessary, but you can tell he’s having a little trouble breathing, and the steroids would really help keep that from getting worse.
CGM: Ok, ok, I’ll do it – just please promise me you won’t tell anyone that I’m giving him something that isn’t natural.
Cranquis (grinning slyly): Actually, your body naturally produces about 5mg of steroids daily, so technically–
CGM: Oh! Ok, cool, yeah, so it’s “natural” medicine then! That makes me feel a lot better.
“Oh c'mon, Cranquis,” you say, “what’s the big deal here? You helped a nervous mom accept appropriate medication usage for her ill child – there’s nothing Cranqsgiving-worthy in that.”
HOW ABOUT THE FACT THAT MOM REEKS OF CIGARETTE SMOKE – GEE, ALL THE SECOND-HAND SMOKE YOU’RE PUMPING INTO YOUR CHILD’S LUNGS IS JUST NATURAL VAPORIZED TOBACCO PLANT! AND THE POLONIUM-210 EMITTED IN TOBACCO SMOKE IS JUST A NATURALLY-OCCURING RADIOACTIVE ISOTOPE, RIGHT??!
SO HERE YA GO, NATURE-LOVIN’ MOMMA, HOLD THIS PLATE OF ALL-NATURAL CRANQSGIVING TURKEY WHILE I CARVE IT CAREFULLY…