parent shenanigans

Opening Up

My family has been present at Elsewhere University for three generations: this requires quite a bit of college prep to prevent shenanigans. My parents spent almost every summer vacation of my childhood teaching me how to work the deals in my favor, the traditional methods of protection, and the things they had discovered during their own time at college.

But more importantly; they taught me magic, they taught me about family, and they taught me how to turn a profit from the muggles. 

Walking to the little out building that has been settled in the middle of college dorms since my grandmothers time, I grip my hagstone necklace and the wards come crashing down. Pendants that send the eye wandering, keep the mind distant, and drive off the curious: all of them crack and turn to dust. I’ll have to reset them before the end of my senior year, but that’s a worry for later. And it’s not like those were the only pendants, or even the biggest protections.

The building is made of red bricks and black roof tiles. The doorway is a large arch covered by a silken curtain, it almost looks like a wide open mouth. Rowan trees sprout to either side of the doorway, their red berries waiting to be harvested. My parents always said that Rowan had special meaning to our family.

Rowans are good for travelling.

I part the drapes and walk in to the shop, paying no mind to the disembodied wind chimes that show I am human. 

I do jump when a shimmering woman of white-yellow light bursts into being right in front of me, though. 

“Gah, Elaina!” I shout, grasping at my chest.

“Hmm, you always were a bit jumpy,” she smirks, tossing her bouncing curls behind her.

“Well maybe I wouldn’t be if you guys hadn’t been spent my entire childhood trying to give me a heart attack,” I say, putting my hair back into place.

“Come now, don’t be so dramatic. Your great-great-uncle had three heart attacks, and look where he ended up,” she says.

“Wasn’t he executed?” I point out. I decide not to mention the reason.

“Entirely unrelated,” she says, entirely to primly for someone speaking about a man who’d been found fooling around with the governor’s daughter and her dog. “Now, on to business. Ready to set up shop?”

“Of course Grandmother.”

That week, a poster is stapled to every notice board, telephone pole, and amicable tree on the campus.

“Need some help with love? Need a little bit of protection? Want a genie’s wish without the genie?

Come to La Tienda Magia, home of the Longwitches!

Hours: 10am to 6pm on weekdays

            11am to 5pm on the weekend

Location: East side of the dorm quad

Please note that for poorer students, barter is permitted, and even encouraged.”

((OOC: If you’d like to visit La Tienda Magia shoot me an ask or reblog this))

mercules-hulligan  asked:

Love Me with the Escalus fam?

Valentine drove a sharp elbow into Mercutio’s side, barely managing to avoid the slap that came his way immediately. Mercutio continued trying to slap his little brother while still standing as still as possible, while Valentine tried to kick him back. Giovanni continued to ignore them both and wondered when it would be time to reveal he had known that they were there the entire time.

Paris cleared his throat, and the two brothers stilled with a jerk. Giovanni pushed down a smile and continued to idly look at the papers in his hand. Standing in front of his desk Paris was the very picture of calm nonchalance, but Giovanni was too used to his nephew to be fooled. The three of them had a plan, and it involved him somehow. Very well, he would see what they had come up with this time.

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okay, so there’s this au

in which steve (captain, discharged with honours after a mission in sokovia) is wanda’s legal guardian and bucky (ex-spy) is natasha’s dad, and the girls meet and become friends in middle school (or high school?) and decide to help their fathers get together

insert “parent trap”-like romcom shenanigans here

(i like romcom cliches in fics, don’t judge……..)

kit harington really pisses me off. i mean… have you seen him? who does he think he is? outrageous.

“You are not a monster you claim you are to me”
Show Chapter | Archive of Our Own
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Dark Waters - chpt 25

The mers go through some trying times, testing the strength of their bond in a way that neither was prepared for.

Also pups.

the rom-com au: During a weekend bender in Vegas, our agents engage in self-destructive, drunken shenanigans that lead to two unplanned pregnancies, a wedding officiated by a Captain America impersonator, and a furious Nick Fury. With their jobs on the line, Skye and Ward are forced to finally get along while learning how to do this parenting thing.

featuring: drunken shenanigans by idiot spies, language, violence, nudity; all the classic things that make an adult rom-com amazing.

pairings: Skyeward, Huntingbird, Fitzsimmons, Clintasha, Philinda with Kate,Trip, Mack, & Fury

read the first FIVE chapters @ Ao3

Really baffling thing about TCC’s reactions

The most common protest I’m seeing about Voldemort, Bellatrix and Delphi’s existence is “but he can’t love, so it doesn’t make sense”.

Guys. Since when is a child born only out of people who love each other? Since WHEN? The bodies magically perceive that their owners aren’t in love and goes “nope, no child here”? Please :/

And jokes aside, how about children conceived out of rape? They are an actual and sadly common thing, you know. I hope you know. Voldy himself is one, now that we’re talking about this messed up family.

And since when people can have sex only when in love, come on, you can not like the play but this is just streatching! And a bad one at that.

Not once in the play is implyied that Voldy loved Delphi. She long for it but nope, its just a sad, never to be fullified wish :( 

Even when he survive, he put her in charge of Britain and goes on minding his own business, sure he’ll never be betrayed (of course, how so? The equivalent of a brainwashed child soldier/politically indoctrinated young follower betrying his creator?)

He’s still the same piece of shit he was in the books, this time he didn’t just dragged an innocent outsider alongside him, he first hand created one to be used as a tool on purpose. Truly out of character, isn’t it? 

anonymous asked:

Cabin Nine headcanons? My under-appreciated babies! By the way, I just found this blog, and it is amazing!

They all have a secret room under their bed, usually decked out with the coolest new gadgets. 

They have spent a lot of time working on developing technology that is demigod safe. 

They create weapons and other gadgets to help demigods with any disability. 

They are a generally well like cabin, but probably the most introverted. 

They don’t have any kind of rivalry with the Ares cabin or the Aphrodite cabin. they’re all just kind of done with their parents’ shenanigans. 

Jake Mason has permanent damage in his leg from the dragon attack and needs crutches. 

this is how my brain responds to angst

that is, by refusing to shut up about all the beautiful co-parenting shenanigans we could’ve had. so imagine:

  • Jingyan and MCS fighting over who gets to spend more time with Tingsheng
  • passive-aggressive use of “tell your other father”s when they’ve been disagreeing with each other and neither is willing to back down
  • Feiliu periodically “abducting” TS from the jing manor to play with him
  • MCS having to send him back at the end of the day, usually stuffed with sweets and carrying with him a new book on military history
  • once TS was late, and JY arrives at su manor only to see TS and feiliu chasing each other with snowballs, MCS laughing merrily sitting on the steps, and JY has a moment of yearning so sudden and strong that he has to stop and pull himself together
  • JY’s generals getting increasingly annoyed that TS’s being taught another fighting style that’s “interfering” with his training (well, everyone except zhanying because he’s a sweet natured boy, but there are a lot of grumbling, is what I’m saying).
  • the gift of TS’s armor gives rise to a ridiculous game of gift one-upmanship (you’d think JY is too practical to descend to MCS’s level, but no)
  • seriously, it’s a miracle TS later grows up to be as level-headed as he is
  • JY pretending like he’s not low-key prying TS for info on how MCS is doing, is he eating enough, has his cough returned recently during this sudden cold snap, etc
  • doing that thing where, instead of being adults who actually TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS, using about TS as a proxy (i.e. “yes, tingsheng has missed you”)
  • basically, just give me all of the co-parenting shenanigans

More Adoribull parenting shenanigans:

Imagine Bull coming home after going on a job with the boys to find his two kids, seated in chairs placed several feet apart, backs to each other. Time-out chairs.

One turns to look at tama and motions for quiet. 

The other waves. 

“Uh…Dorian?” Bull calls. “Is something goin’ on?”

Dorian comes out of the kitchen, hair in disarray as if he’s been tugging at it, completely frazzled. 

“We need to talk about butting heads. I have never been so terrified in my life.”