1/7/2017-1/9/2017 Soup-Nose The Goat has some swelling under her jaw. We suspect bottlejaw (fluid retention caused by anemia). Anemia in goats is usually a parasite issue, so we wormed her, and I drove to the hippie feed store and bought some of the fancy organic sweetfeed to try and convince her to eat a bunch of delicious nutrition. Even Soup Nose’s Olympic-class food fussiness is no match for sweetfeed.
Sweetfeed is made of corn, molasses, oats, various trace vitamins, and tiny shavings from a shining blue meteor that landed in the Darkhad Valley in Mongolia in 1953. The workers who harvest the meteor cover their ears so they can’t hear it singing to them.
Sweetfeed smells amazing. I have genuinely considered cooking it like oatmeal and eating it myself. My google history is full of searches for cornflake and molasses cookies, gingerbread cornmeal cookies, something, anything. Internet forums are thronged with people wondering how to make moonshine out of it. It smells like molasses and raisins and cornbread and coming home to the family you never knew you had after a long time wandering in the dusty dark between worlds.
We have to keep a brick on top of the bin with sweetfeed in it, because otherwise the feral cats sneak into the barn and eat it.
The cats try to eat goat food.
(Seriously. I tell a lot of lies on this blog. That is not one of the lies. It’s uncanny stuff.
Also, if you know any recipes that involve molasses and cornflakes, please send them to me, the smell is driving me mad.)
PARASITIC WORMS: People of Earth, hello. We, the giant brain-eating parasites, would like to publicly apologize for taking over the body of Donald J. Trump. What started out as an innocent vacation away from our home turned, literally, into an orgy of fun – fun which we regret and could never take back. [Audience politely chuckles.] We first entered Donald in 2007, through a poorly cooked piece of Trump Steak – Trump Steaks are the origin country of our people – where we were conceived. And for that, we thank Donald. Please buy Trump Steaks.
Worms shuffle in Trump’s body. He is visibly uncomfortable. Audience laughs and claps.
PARASITIC WORMS: When we first nested inside of Donald, it was all innocent fun – pressing various lobes, allowing our children to occasionally nibble on his brain tissue, and having lots of parasitic worm sex wherever we could, leaving trails of parasite semen all over the place. 2007 was a crazy time, and I guess we never left because we … we fell in love.
One of the guards sobs silently. He is patted on the back by other guards, and quickly stands up sniffling. Giuliani is seen on the verge of tears – or maybe it’s from all the dead-eyed staring. Trump’s little hands form into even littler fists.
ESSENTIALLY: All worm vampires carry the disease/virus/whathaveyou that turned them initially, and can pass it on freely. The human immune system is, however, quite capable of repelling it under most circumstances. And saliva is not an ideal vector. Turning usually only happens in deliberate, pre-selected cases, or as a very rare accident.
I hope this answers yall thoroughly! Feel free to inquire further if you want more details.
EDIT: wow now i see all these spelling errors, thanks late-night brain i love it
Yeah–skin is durable and stretchy, but less so when you’re undead and put it through that much of a workout (especially considering how much vamps like this have to squash down to fit in a human body). It can heal if the vampire feeds sufficiently, but large compromises to the structure require the old skin to be ditched entirely and the generation of a new dermal cover.
a bit of a pain in the butt, but worth it for that glowing baby-soft new skin look!
You and your padawan have as strange a dynamic between you as Anakin and Ahsoka do - and when you’re together, they call you ‘mom and dad’ because of the obvious tension. All joking aside, though, you consider Ahsoka your sister - and you’d gladly die to protect your family….
Notes: I changed it a little so Reader replaces Master Luminara and your padawan (oc) replaces Barriss, but also the other way around? You’re the one on the ship with Ahsoka.
Warnings: Parasitic brain-controlling worms (mind control/posession), torture, captivity. Seriously, it’s actually kinda scary, so be careful!
You’re not quite sure what to do.
The battle’s over; you’ve won. You stand perched on an outcrop of sandstone overlooking the ruins of the droid foundry. Anakin, Ree, and Ahsoka are safe, and the bug queen’s temple is destroyed. But you’re still on high alert, blood roaring through your veins so your hands don’t want to leave the hilts of your sabers. You close your eyes, turning your face to the Geonosian sun, and breathe. You are safe, you tell yourself. Nothing is wrong. We won. But still in your head, all you see is the unnatural movements and blind eyes of dead Geonosians, reanimated like puppets by that vile queen.
“Hey, Master!” Ree yells out as she approaches, her head-tails swinging behind her. You glare down at her, forcing your hands to relax. There are no more zombies. They’re buried.
“Don’t scare me like that.”
“Sorry, Mom.” Ree doesn’t look all that repentant, brown eyes sparkling in her rosy pink face. The twi’lek padawan tilts her head back, looking mischievous. “Dad sent me to find you.”
“Master Skywalker,” you correct. “And is he now?” You set your hands on your hips and hop down from the rock to land beside your padawan. “Where is he?”
page 324 - when I move you move. And if you happen to swallow the wrong glass of water and a larva manages to enter your bloodstream by burrowing through the duodenal wall before passing through your liver and into your heart where it grows and molts before entering the lungs to be coughed up and swallowed so it can grow to maturity in your small intestine, well ascaris lumbricoides to you buddy.