paranoid minds

3

- schizophrenia + Ed Gein, David Berkowitz & Richard Chase.

Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that is characterized by at least 2 of the following  symptoms, for at least one month:

  • Delusions
  • Hallucinations
  • Disorganized speech (e.g., frequent derailment or incoherence)
  • Grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior
  • A set of three negative symptoms (Affective flattening : The person’s range of emotional expression is clearly diminished; poor eye contract; reduced body language. Alogia : A poverty of speech, such as brief, empty replies. Avolition : Inability to initiate and persist in goal-directed activities )

Individuals with schizophrenia evidence large distress and impairments in various life domains. Functioning in areas such as work, interpersonal relations, or self-care must be markedly below the level achieved prior to the onset of the symptoms to receive the diagnosis (or when the onset is in childhood or adolescence, failure to achieve expected level of interpersonal, academic, or occupational achievement).

Chase & Berkowitz were both diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia wich  is the most common subtype.  The defining feature of the paranoid subtype  is the presence of auditory hallucinations or prominent delusional thoughts about persecution or conspiracy. However, people with this subtype may be more functional in their ability to work and engage in relationships than people with other subtypes of schizophrenia.

Anyway I bought a pride flag which is why I’m in such a gay mood rn
Honestly working out my sexuality has been so hard for me but getting this flag was just… It cemented it ya know?
When I was 10 I had a dream where I had a girl and a boy in front of me and I had to choose. It was so hard for me. Eventually I chose the guy because I thought I had to.
Two years ago I came out as pan to one person. Last year I was out to most people. This past year I realised a lot more about myself. Like the attraction I held towards men was more of an idealisation and something I wanted to be like rather than wanted to date (like why didn’t I realise that sooner? I always wrote straight song lyrics from the male perspective like clearly I was into chicks). Basically I’m hella gay.
Idk. I’m emotional today tho. Sometimes I worry I’m making it up or pretending to be gay for attention (then again I also worry the same for pretty much everything I do. Man I am just super paranoid don’t mind me)
But yeah. No turning back now the flag is here and has locked me into The Gay™

SNK 93 in a nutshell
  • FIRST, TO THOSE WHO ARE STILL CONFUSED:
  • The setting: We are now in Marley, 4 years after the battle for Shiganshina. After losing the colossal titan to Armin, the Marley military weakened, causing a rival to start a war. They just won that war.
  • THE CAST:
  • Reiner: He's about 21 now. Big bro figure to the younger warriors. Remorseful.
  • Zeke: Important warrior, respected by Eldians and Marley alike. Royal blood.
  • Magath: The Marley commander in charge of Eldian Warriors. Rough and pragmatic, but not a horrible person.
  • Galliard: Current holder of Ymir's titan (Oh yeah, Ymir got eaten). Medium-High key bitter towards Reiner for letting his brother, Marcel, die.
  • Peak: The Mule Titan holder. A cute girl. *SHOCK AND AWE* She seems pretty chill.
  • The Warrior Cadets (all about 14):
  • Gabi: Excitable, proud, and capable. Loves Reiner a lot, unclear if it's hero worship or if she's pulling an Asuka and wants his ARMORED DICK.
  • Falco: The Shinji Ikari in this Asuka-Shinji-Kaji analogy. Doesn't want to be a warrior, disillusioned. Very selfless, but pretty sarcastic. Probably likes Gabi.
  • Udo: Paranoid, loud, speaks his mind, and kicks shit when he's mad.
  • Sophia: Little shit, deadpan, may or may not be best girl.
  • NOW LET'S GET STARTED:
  • Marley Admiral: So basically what you're saying is that we won, but at the cost of revealing to the whole world that the Titans are totally beatable with modern military technology.
  • Magath: Not to mention, we're in some serious shit since we colonized all those foreign people thinking the titan's power was enough to keep them in check. So we've got more shitstorms approaching than we can count on your two hands.
  • Zeke: Guys, I think we should invade the walls and try to get our titans back.
  • Admiral: Were you listening to anything anyone said in the past 5 minutes?
  • Zeke: Yes, and that's why we need to get the titans as soon as possible while they'll still serve as some minor deterrent. That way we can build up our military.
  • -------------------
  • Colt: Wow Zeke, you sure are cool, talking to Marley officers without bowing towards them the mandatory 9 times.
  • Zeke: Eh.
  • Colt: You're also the coolest titan ever. For some reason, when you inject someone with your titan's spinal fluid, you can turn them into titans and then control them when you want. Why can you do that? It's not like you have ryal blood.
  • Zeke: Heh Heh, yeah, totally. By the way, wanna hear a secret.
  • Colt: What?
  • Zeke, noticing Magath approaching: I can use my titan's long-ass arms to wipe my titan's hairy-ass ass.
  • Magath: Please, don't mind me. Continue talking about your titan's ass.
  • Zeke: Oh nevermind, let's exposition the audience some more.
  • Magath: Sounds good.
  • Zeke: All our ships we sent to the walls vanished, presumably destroyed by their titans. Not to mention, they have the Ackermen(TM) who were genetically engineered using Titan Science(TM) to kick my ass and haunt my dreams.
  • ------------------
  • Reiner, having dreams about almost dying twice: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.
  • Galliard: Sup bitch, I saw you having a nightmare so I decided not to wake you.
  • Galliard: By the way, fuck you for letting my brother (Marcel) die by being eaten by Ymir. Well, at least I got to eat Ymir and get his power back.
  • Audience: OH GOD MY SHIP IS DEAD.
  • Peak: Hey guys, I'm the cart titan and also a cute girl.
  • Audience: .........go on.
  • ------------------------------
  • Gabi, Falco, Udo, and Sophia hanging by the ocean:
  • Reiner: Heya, kiddos!
  • Gabi: REINER HI I MISSED YOU DID YOU MISS ME!
  • Reiner: Sure did, kiddo! *Pats head*
  • Sophia and Udo: Oh hey it's Reiner! *Head over to Reiner*
  • Reiner: *Pats heads*
  • Reiner: Hi, Falco!
  • Falco: ....Hello.
  • Gabi: HEY REINER LETS GO INTO TOWN!
  • Reiner: *Sneaks head pat onto Falco*
  • Falco: Reiner should be in bed.
  • Gabi: Falco, you can Falgo fuck yourself.
  • Reiner: *Urge to protect these adorable children intensifies*
  • ----------------------------
  • On a train heading back to their internment camp:
  • Colt, drunk off his ass: THREE CHEERS FOR GABI SHE'S A GODDESS OH MY GOD GABI YOU SAVED US ALL
  • Gabi: LET GO COLT I CAN'T BREATH
  • General: Magath, shut them up.
  • Magath: Oh, let them have their fun.
  • Reiner: So Gabi's probably going to inherit my Titan.
  • Falco: Yeah, and then she won't live a day past 27, if that.
  • Reiner: Are you talking shit about inheriting one of the 9 titans? You know they can punish you for that.
  • Falco: No, I, uh, Inheriting the titans sound great!
  • Reiner: Then do you want to? Do you want to inherit it in her place?
  • Falco: *Thinks about how Gabi will die if she inherits it*
  • Falco: Yes, I want to inherit it instead.
  • Reiner: Then become a better warrior than Gabi. Please, you have to, if you want to save her from the hell I went through.
Disappointment

Originally posted by theflashdaily


Pairing: Barry Allen x Reader

Summary: Barry cheering (Y/N) up as she overheard his conversation with Iris.

Word count: 984

A/N: A scene like this happened to me last Monday and I seriously felt so bad. I was so happy, because I was with my boyfriend, then I overheard his conversation with his grandmum through the phone and I was so disappointed. I really felt bad that I cried until I fell asleep, even though he defended me.
I hope that no one makes you feel in this way, because no one deserves to do that to a person. Unluckily, it happened to me and I had to chew her negative words and swallow them.

- G. x

Warning: (Y/F/M) is Your Favourite Movie and (Y/H/C) is Your Hair Colour.


It was your free day and Barry asked you to spend the day with him in the West household. You didn’t want to go at first, because you were always in their house and you thought that you were a hindrance for his family, but Barry assured you that his adoptive family was always happy to welcome you, until you proved him wrong.

“Is (Y/N) here once again?” You heard Iris complaining as you were about to follow Barry in the kitchen. You hid yourself behind the doorway and, even though you thought that it was wrong, you decided to eavesdrop.

“Uhm,” You heard Barry respond. “yup. Any problem, Iris?”

“Actually, yes!” You heard Iris say harshly, there you started to feel bad about it.

“She’s always here, always with you and I don’t even have enough time to spend some moments with you.” You bit your lip as you felt your eyes starting to water, you fiddled with your sleeves as you tried to swallow down her words.

“It’s not (Y/N)’s fault, Iris.” Barry defended you as you saw him slamming the fridge’s door. “I want to spend time with her, whenever I want. You’re not in any right position to accuse her. I’m grown up, Iris.”

“What the hell, Barry?” Iris shouted as she heard Barry’s answer. You looked at the kitchen as you started to feel a weight on your chest. “I am still your sister, don’t ever talk to me in that way.”

“I am your brother and I think that you need to respect my decisions!” He got the plate full of food from the marble kitchen counter and he turned himself from Iris. “Please think before you speak, Iris. You’re big enough to realize things. I said nothing when you left me out for Eddie, now be coherent enough. Okay?”

“I can’t believe that this is happening.” You heard Iris sighing and Barry started to walk away.

“Believe it.” Barry said, annoyed. “Now excuse me, thank you.” Barry walked towards the doorway and you quickly wiped the tears streaming down your face using your sleeves.

You were obviously disappointed, because she was part of Barry’s family and you’ve never thought that she would say something like that. She has always showed you kindness, but this time you knew that she has always talked shit behind your back.

“Hey,” Barry greeted you with a big smile on his face, shaking off his angry face. “why didn’t you follow me?”

“Oh,” You flashed him a smile. “I just got out from the restroom.”

“So, were you here for a long time?” Barry curiously asked as he handed you a bottle full of your favourite soda.

“No, don’t worry.” You tried to cover your disappointment with a happy tone, but you almost failed it when you saw Iris leaving the kitchen. “What did you talk about?”

“Oh, Iris was just being paranoid and annoying. Don’t mind her.” He smiled at you as he held your hand and squeezed it to assure you that everything was fine.

“Alright.” You nodded. You both sat on the couch as soon as you reached the living room. You decided to watch (Y/F/M) during a lazy afternoon.

“Enjoy, baby!” You smiled after Barry kissed you on your forehead.

“Same to you, babe.” You responded happily, but your smile faded as soon as you saw Iris, watching you from afar. She was giving you a glare, until she saw you looking at her and she flashed you a sweet smile. You felt uncomfortable, but you smiled at her, although it was a fake one.

“Are you okay?” Barry noticed that you were looking at Iris and you just nodded your head, trying to swallow the knot in your throat. Iris shook her head as she went back to the kitchen.

“I,” You bit your lip as you tried not to think of it. “I am fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Barry paused the movie and faced you. He looked sad and worried as he saw your eyes. You knew that he remembered his conversation with Iris and he shook your head, looking disappointed too.

“It’s nothing, Bar.” You shook your head as your tears started to stream down your face.

“Liar!” He rolled his eyes and he wrapped his arms around you to comfort you. “Iris can say everything, but she will never make me change my mind. I love you and I will always welcome you here, you’re my girlfriend, the love of my life.” You started to sob and he rubbed your back to prevent you from doing it. “She can say whatever she wants, but I will always defend you because you are my happiness. I promise you that.”

“Really?” You said in between your sobs.

“Really, babe.” He played with your (Y/H/C) hair and he left a kiss on your forehead. “I love you so much and don’t ever listen to what she has to say.”

“I love you too, Bar.” You wrapped your arms around him tightly and he hugged you tighter.

“Everything’s fine, stop crying.” He kissed you once again and you nodded your head as you started to calm yourself down. “I love you more, my sensible and susceptible baby girl.” He giggled as he teased you.

“Shut up,” You pulled away from the hug and you pouted. “but thank you.”

“It was nothing, I will always defend you. Okay? No matter who it is or no matter what it is.” You both smiled and he leant in to leave a gentle kiss on your lips.

You bit your lip as you realized how lucky you are to have Barry. You knew that he loved you so much and you were thankful that he defended you from Iris. You might have been disappointed, but you knew that your boyfriend was always by your side to protect you and to defend you. 


Shu Headcanon (Jealous Wife Edition)

Ugh you hated her…
This new sacrifice bride. She’s blonde and blue eyed, even has a nice pert body.
Worst of all…she gets along with Shu.
It was only because she played instruments that he began speaking with her.
At first you couldn’t blame her for turning to Shu out of the brothers.
He was the least scary and relaxed.
The obvious flirting had you balling your fists so hard. Heck, you just might do a Subaru and hit a wall!
‘I don’t like it..’ You sigh leaning against the garden wall. Subaru was out walking when you joined him. He was the easiest to talk to out of the others.
'Tell him.’
'Hum? No way, he’ll only find it funny!’ You roll your eyes. 'Unless..’
'He wouldn’t..stop being paranoid…’ He answered your minds question.
'But he could take another wife..?’
Subaru looked up at you frowning.
'Okay!! Fine! He wouldn’t! I’ll leave you alone!’ You give him an apologetic smile and start walking back to your room.
Maybe you were being paranoid. Subaru would have told the truth. He liked his eldest brother.
You nod, its all in your head! Stop being silly! Shu was your husband!
'Shu?’ You call him as you enter your room, 'Shall we go for a walk? Or go somewhere else?’
You felt excited at spending time with Shu.
He was laying in the bed, his eyes closed.
'Mmmm’
'What’s that supposed to mean?’ You smile and climb on top of him.
'I’m tired..’
'You’re always tired!’ You grin and cuddle up to him, catching how good he smells.
'It’s a bother..walking..’
'I can’t carry you…’ You poke him.
'I’d rather stay here.’
You settle for this instead, cuddling Shu was just as satisfying. Although he rarely spend any time with you outside anymore.
His arms moved around you and kept you tight to him. You smile feeling so much better now.
'Hey Shu?? Can you help me practice again today?’ A high voice came from the door.
Your heart began hammering angrily in your chest.
No fair! Why is she here?!
You hold onto him tighter.
As if she wasn’t rude enough by shouting through your door, she opens it and lets herself in.
'Shu? Come on lazy..’ She smiles.
You can’t believe it!
Are you invisible?!?!
Can’t she see you on top of him???
Shu stirs and looks over at her.
'Hmm?’
'Come and help me practice!’ She repeats, 'I’d ask Laito, but he’s always so touchy! Anyway he can’t play as good as you..’
A dark fire builds inside you.
Shu sighs.
You look up at him.
He starts to move, and you can only think of holding him to stop him.
'Huh?’ He looks down at you desperately clinging onto his shirt. Your eyes pleading for him to stay.
If he goes with her now..maybe you have lost him.
'Shu?! Come on..’ She rolls her eyes playfully. She knows exactly what’s going on here. She wants to destroy you…
'Shu..’ You whisper, raw emotion caught in your throat. Your eyes locked on his.
He pulls you closer to him and kisses you.
'Not now..I’m with my wife.’ He says, his voice sounding hard. 'And next time knock before you interrupt us.’
You sigh in relief and bury your face into his chest.
'Ah…I-I’m sorry I..you said yesterday you would help?’ She stammers, trying to think of something quick.
'I’m busy.’ Shu states coldly.
'But you’re just laying…’
'Out..get out.’ His voice is dark and even sends a shiver down your spine.
A voice no one would argue with.
'I’m with my wife.’
She nods and make her way to the door to leave but not before seeing Shu pin you back down on the bed and kiss you hard.

Jughead & Reader: Unpredictable

Summary: One night you and Jughead get into a fight, resulting in the two of you avoiding each other for a few days. While you’re out with Betty investigating, you end up getting hurt and when Jughead finds out, he tries to patch things up.

*Request

Listen to: Pity and Fear - Death Cab For Cutie


“11:36″ read the clock, ticking away the seconds into the night, seemingly mocking you for never being able to manage your time. You tried your best to change your annoying habit of always being late, but it felt like you were doomed to fail. Most of the time it was okay to be late but you knew that this time the person waiting for you wouldn’t be so forgiving. 

Running out of the house into the cool breeze of spring, you saw him leaning against his car with his arms crossed. While you were leaning onto the handrail to put your shoes on all the way since you took them off while dancing, someone walked up next to you. “What are you doing?” Reggie asked. 

You looked at the tall, well-built guy and rolled your eyes. “Leaving,” you said shortly. 

“Come on. Why don’t you stay and dance some more? It was nice seeing you get all wild and crazy.” He smirked and touched your arm. 

You pulled your arm away from him. “Get a life, Reggie,” you retorted before running down the last few steps to your boyfriend. He was watching with narrowed eyes.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” you told Jughead with an innocent laugh. “I just lost track of time.” You leaned in to kiss him and you noticed that he didn’t kiss you back - he just kept his lips in place. You pulled away awkwardly. “What’s wrong? Are you mad?”

He laughed incredulously. “I’ve been waiting here for almost 40 minutes. But let’s think, why would I be mad?” He said sarcastically. 

Keep reading

She knew.


She sat in front of him, holding her fingers and staring down at them with furrowed brows as if they might give her the words she needed to say.

He knew she saw the gashes this morning on his shoulder, on his side. Not the kind of thing you acquire when working as a lawyer. He should have been more careful.

She sat in the chair opposite his desk as if she were a client. As if she were trying to distance herself from him. The thought made Matt start to panic, he swallowed and shifted his feet. She wasn’t saying anything. All Matt wanted was for her to talk. He didn’t know what he wanted or needed her to say, but just something would be better than the suffocating silence they currently sat in. Anything to make him feel like he wasn’t going watch her walk out the door and never come back.

Anything to make him feel like she didn’t… hate him. For what he hid from her. For what he does. For who he is.


.


“I-” you paused. It was one word but it didn’t feel right. This whole situation didn’t feel right. You glanced up at Matt, you knew he was anxious. You could hear his shoes shifting, his throat bobbed as he tried to calm himself. His hands sat in his lap, one thumb brushing quickly over the other in nervous rhythm. You hadn’t told him why you wanted to talk with him alone in his office, but you guessed from the tension in his face that he had a pretty good idea.


.


Matt was getting dressed for work when you saw the gash on his shoulder. He faced away from you as he took off a black short sleeved tee. Obviously your eyes drifted up from your book to watch the lean muscles of his back ripple with movement. He winced as he turned to slip on a sky blue shirt, dropping his shoulder slightly put the wound in clear view, another one creeping around the side of his torso. They looked to be a week old at most. Your heart sped up, your eyes widened. Your mind was bombarded with a stream of questions. How did he even get that? Who did this to him? How was he even in a position to- what was he doing- where was he- How could he- what was he thinking he-


And then it dawned on you.

You’d seen the newspapers, the tv spots, you remember feeling a sense of familiarity staring at you in the face as you watched the footage.

You had been following the articles and even talking with Matt over breakfast about how the impact of having a vigilante in Hell’s Kitchen would have a serious effect on the crime rate, hopefully a good effect. Matt never had much to say. More than once he had changed the subject to something more lighthearted. You just let it go, thinking that it probably didn’t sit right with him that someone was taking the law and justice into their own hands…

But…

The roughness of his hands… the strength in them. The nights where you would wake up reaching for him only to see the other side of the bed empty and cold. The little bruises and cuts where he ‘walked into things’.


It was a big jump to make. Massive in fact. You backtracked for a second, you needed proof before you could even consider listening to your minds paranoid ramblings. But that didn’t stop your breathing from picking up. That didn’t stop the ‘what ifs’ from plaguing your thoughts. They piled up on top of each other so fast that you felt like you might not be able to take another breath.


Matt’s head turned as he buttoned up his shirt.

“Are you okay? You seem awfully quiet this morning.”


“Fine!” you chirped. A little too quick to be genuine. Too quick for Matt to ignore. Matt paused in reaching for his tie.

“You sure?”

“Absolutely. Just excited to start the day!” You flung the sheets off of you exposing your bare legs. Wearing only a large grey tee you jumped out of bed and swung around to throw your arms over his shoulders, narrowly avoiding the wound.

Running your fingers through the tiny hairs at the nape of his neck, he slid his hands up under your tee, lifting it high enough for you to feel a light breeze on your backside. He wrapped his hands around either side of your waist and began running his thumbs up and down the small of your back. “I’m excited for every day that I get to start with you.”

Whatever tension there was in Matt’s frame dissipated. He smiled wide, leaning his head slightly to the side. “You’re full of cheese.”


You shrugged. “What can I say? It’s a talent. Maybe I should start classes. Could save up some money and get myself a plaque. ‘Y/N, Master of Cheesery’”


Matt snorted and slid his arms all the way around you, pulling you as close as he could. You had to rise to your tiptoes to fold your arms behind his neck, leaning your cheek against his. Your bodies molded together and he hummed once in content as he swayed the two of you from side to side. Dancing to no music. “I wish I didn’t have to go in today. Foggy needs me to go over this case one more time before tomorrow. I can think of a few things we could do right here that would be much more fun.” He sighed out his nose. You held on a little tighter, you didn’t know if you wanted to uncork this bottle. But you knew that you needed to.


“I’m gonna drop by at lunchtime.”

Matt nodded and turned to kiss your cheek twice. He pulled away reluctantly and let your arms drop to your side. Picking up his jacket from the bed he made his way through the living room and towards the front door. You trailed behind him, gripping your fingers tight behind you. Matt opened the door and turned around to you leaning against the doorframe. “We can talk about some stuff.” he raised his eyebrows.

“Stuff?”

“You focus on your case for now. I don’t want to distract you. We’ll talk when I come in.” You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. He left with a small frown on his face.


.

It had taken a lot of digging. A lot of thinking like someone who wanted to desperately hide something. Finally you found your proof, tucked away in his father’s box. The mask that he wore to his nightly endeavours. The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen’s mask.

After giving yourself some time to cry, to scream, to punish yourself for not seeing it sooner, you got up, got dressed, put the red mask in your bag and left the apartment to meet Matt. To have a conversation you weren’t sure you were prepared for.


.


And here you are. Sitting in his office trying to find the right words to begin with. None of them seemed to suffice. This was Matt, why couldn’t you just talk to him?


You stood up suddenly and turned towards the door to close the blackout blind that hung from it. Then you walked behind Matt to close the blinds on the windows. It left the room dark so you switched on his desk lamp and instead of sitting down on the chair you perched on his desk next to where he sat so you were facing the wall to his back. Instead of looking at him, you stared unseeingly at the strings on the blinds.

You took a deep breath. You reached into your bag and held the mask just behind him.

“Matt, I know about your night job.” You said firmly and put the mask on the desk in front of him. He reached out and ran his fingertips over one of the pointed tips for a mere second before pulling his hands back to his lap.

He remained silent.


“I’m not mad. I just- I’m.. worried.” your breath hitched, “I’m scared, Matt.” your bottom lip trembled making you reach up with both hands to cover your face.

Matt’s hands stopped twitching and instead gripped tight, his shoulders tensed and his face screamed how much he didn’t want to have this discussion.

“You don’t need to be scared of me.” He muttered in a low but steady voice. Dropping your hands and swinging your head round to him, you scooched up along his desk to sit in front of him, your legs hanging down either side of his. You brought your hands to his cheeks. Cradling the hurt you saw on his face. The disappointment, not at you but in himself. You could feel the muscles in his jaw tense.

“Matty-” your voice caught, and Matt almost flinched at the noise. Clearing your throat you tried again. “Matty, I’m not scared of you. I’m scared for you.” Matt’s eyebrows twitched together, so you slid your hand down to just above his shoulder, where you both knew the tightly stitched wound sat. “This, is a big deal. Did you think I would be okay with you coming home with giant cuts on your body? God forbid I wake up in the morning to see you bleeding out on the couch-” you bit your lip and looked away, trying to pull yourself together. You needed to be a little bit stronger, just enough to deal with this.


Matt tentatively put his hand on your knee.

“Y/N, I’ve trained for this. I was trained from a young age to fight like this and it’s something I’ve known how to do for a long time. I’m not just some billionaire thinking he can make a suit, fight crime and take on the world all in the same day. I’m going to do better. I’m making this city a safe place. My city. Ours.” He took your hands in both of his and rested them on your knees.


He licked his lips and shifted in his chair, you could see he wanted you to believe him, to trust him, to.. accept him. “I’m sorry I kept this from you. Part of me is saying I should let you go to protect you from this, from the people who might want to use you against me if they found out what you mean to me. I couldn’t-” he swallowed, “I won’t let that happen. I can’t lose you. You’re the reason I can do this and still smile everyday, not hate myself for keeping this a secret from almost everyone I know. I love you.” he paused, gripping your hands slightly tighter for a second before leaning back in his chair a little. “But I understand if you can’t cope with this. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, you can walk out that door and I won’t stop you.”


You were quiet. You just looked at his face and all it’s features as your hands warmed between his. You could see how much he didn’t want you to leave, but you knew that he would let you go if you wanted to. You knew he was genuinely sorry, but he had reason to keep it all from you. He was trying to do the right thing. Not just for him or you but for the whole city.


Make a decision. A little voice in the back of your mind prompted you. And you did.

You slid off the desk and into his lap, he pulled your joined hands up to give you room, but didn’t let go. Not quite ready to release you just yet. His face remained set. You smiled at him, just a small slightly wobbly curve of your lips.


“I love you too, Matt. But-” you could see his brows wobble a touch. You squeezed his hands before releasing them then took off his glasses and put them behind you on the desk. You wanted to see his eyes. You slid your hands back over his, threading your fingers together.


“I’m not leaving you.” You had to reassure him first. His shoulders dropped the heavy weight on them and he leaned his forehead against yours. His breath hitched slightly as he tried not to cry in relief. You almost burst into tears at the sound, instead a few dripped down your cheeks and hit your joined hands.

“You need to tell me everything. And I mean every little minute detail that occurs, I don’t want the highlights.” He nodded lightly. “and you’re gonna teach me how to fight.” His head shot up. “You’re not coming with me. It’s too dangerous.”


You snorted. “of course not, but if you’re worried about me being a target then I need to learn how to defend myself. I need to show these guys that my badass boyfriend isn’t the only one who can handle himself. The Master of Cheesery can pack a punch too.” You held up an arm to flex your muscles and pulled a strained face.

Matt grinned as he brushed away the fallen tears and pinched your flexing ‘muscles’, “That means you’re gonna have to actually get out of bed in the morning and you know, exercise.”

Your pursed your lips and rolled your eyes. “The things I do for you, Matt.”


He swallowed. “I know. Thank you.” He leaned in to kiss you, but you pulled back and put a finger on his lips. “Uh-uh. You’ve got some serious ass-kissing to do Matt-Matt.”

“What?” came his muffled reply, his lips squished behind your finger.

“You’ve been keeping something from me for God knows how long. You’re gonna have to make it up to me, your loyal and forgiving girlfriend. Starting with dinner and later listening to Stephen Fry read Sherlock Holmes on audiobook. With blankets. And malteasers. And kitkats.” Matt kissed your finger twice in quick succession.


“Anything.” He said sincerely. He would do anything for you. You smiled as you replaced your finger with your lips, brushing them over his in a soft kiss.

Roommates are being loud and I am in a Bad Mood (probs because it was a high pain day and I haven’t been sleeping that well). Pls be quiet and let me sleep. Or else I will maybe kick down the door.

Okay, I won’t, but still.

Me: “He looked at me!”
My Mind: “yeah.. he’s probably judging you.”

Me: “She didn’t say hi to me..”
My Mind: “Why would she ever talk to you.”

Me: “I forgot to do the dishes..”
My Mind: “That’s why you’re a burden.”

Me: “He didn’t text me back.”
My Mind: “He moved on..”

Me: “I forgot to do ____ at work today..”
My Mind: “Don’t even show up, there going to fire you..”


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anonymous asked:

Oh my gosh all this Lafluff on your blog has me smiling so much my cheeks hurt it's such a wonderful concept so now may I present to you: Lafluff where Lance likes to go down to the hangars to chat with Blue and while he's there chats with the other lions as well like everything from what he did that day to what he's thinking about and basically just bonding with them all cause they're sorta sentient and just making them all love him to bits and low key sending that feeling through the others

ANON YOU ARE THE BEST THING EVER OMG.

Keith feels it first. He’s in the training room drinking from a bag of water when Red suddendly shoves him a big wave of emotion. It’s warm, soft and it hold a spark of amusment. Keith doesn’t really understand where it come from but it left him smiling, stomach unknoted and it’s easier to breath.

Hunk feels it next, a few days later. He’s used to Yellow sending him random moments of emotions, usually when Hunk’s backing or just playing with an old Altean’s technology, just to keep the Paladin company. This time was different. This time Hunk felt a familiar warm around him, like a side hug, a playful pat on the shoulder, something friendly, brotherly, and so so just….home. Hunk holds to that feeling from the rest of the day.

Then it’s Shiro, roughly a week later. He’s tense, staring at the hologram map of the galaxy they are currently hidding in, when the sudden wave of emotions hits him, almost knocking him over. His bond with Black has grown stronger as the days pass by, and when she reaches out it’s usually because Shiro is almsot at his limit of stress, but this time, he doesn’t feel reprimands for not taking care of himself; he feels a familiar praising, a touch of worry and a steady feeling of kindness and determination. He feels as if someone is having his back, easing his paranoid mind, and then, just then, Shiro can let go of the breath he didn’t even knew he was holding in. He turns off the hologram and leaves the room to joing the rest of the team. 

Pidge is last but not least. She’s used to Green’s poking insde her mind, especially when he’s into de-coding a new Galra program, offering her input from time to time. It’s a comforting feeling, but one particular night, when she’s almost at her limit and she’s rubbing her right eye behind her glasses in frustration, brushing away the tears, she feels it. It’s like a blanket, fluffy, soft, warm and it makes her tear up because she feels so protected, right there, right now. She lets out a small gasp and she’s quick to push herself up, running down her hagar because Green is literally tuggin inside her to come and when she arrives, she sees Lance. 

Lance, who is cross sitting on the floor in front of her Lion, turning his head from side to side so he can catch every Lion’s eye. His arms are all over the place, happily carrying away his tale. The entire team’s names pass his mouth: fondly, playfully, and so teander. 

Pidge can only stare because she hiccups and Lance is quick to turn to her, eyes wide in surprise but he inmediatly opens his arms, the blanket on his shoulder like a cape, and Pidge doesn’t hesitate, not even a tick, before she falls in his arms and hugs the shit out of him. 

That night, Pidge has the best sleep since they arrived.

I’m so sorry, I got carried away. I just….hsdkjfhdskjfhsdkjfhsdkj this concept is so so lovely, thank you for sharing it with me!!!!! <33333333333

5

CALLING ALL TOPPKLASS

 So I kinda have a theory which I pray to god is not true but: 

-I have been thinking about this for the past few days now but I was only tempted to make this post after Hansol’s IG post this morning 

- So this morning I woke up just scrolling through IG when I saw loads of people commenting that they think he’s leaving and I was just sat here dying because he’s my actual baby and I will break down if that happens 

- People were also saying how he changed his bio, which I also noticed a few days ago, but I completely forgot it said TD before so I started getting more worried 

-That’s when I then realised that he had deleted/archived all his photos with the members of TD and only had his most recent photos 

-So that’s what I realised this morning that put me on edge 


 However the things that I have been thinking of building up to this post is: 

-lately P Goon has been missing until a few weeks ago when he posted on IG - and this past week he has been promoting “Px5" 

 - and honestly the first thing I thought of when I saw this was oh my god people are leaving TD/they’re disbanding 

- so my first interpretation of “px5” is that the people remaining in TD is PGoon, Bjoo, Xero, Yano, Hojoon and Sangdo 

- the reason for this is because P stands for PGoon as he’s the leader 

- And the other 5 members because they were the only ones representing TD at the Uiwang Railway Festival where they performed Open the Door and Perfume 

- I completely understand that the other 3 members are busy but what if they have unofficially left 

- like Atom is on Produce101 and if he gets into the top 11, he’ll be away for another year 

- Nakta is focusing on his DJing 

- And Hansol is studying in China 

 -That’s when I remembered in one of Hansol’s recent livestreams some fans translated that either he was staying in China for a year then going to Japan OR he’s staying in China then returning to Korea in August 

- At first I thought this made sense as if Atom didn’t get through on Produce101 then TD would be joined again in august but if he did then The entire of TD would need to be on hiatus for another year 

- but the more I think about it, the more worried I am that Hansol Atom and Nakta isn’t coming back 😰😭 

 -I have also thought about the fact that Hunus are debuting more bands and solos 

 - and I’m just worried that they have completely given up on TD which is breaking my heart rn even just thinking about that 


 So all in all can someone please just tell me I’m being ridiculous as all this “evidence” is circumstantial and this is just my mind being paranoid because I really really pray that this isn’t true. Perhaps there’s a lot of information I don’t know as I’m still relatively new to the fandom and I’m just being completely oblivious. But TD are the first kpop group I ever found and the reason why I now listen to kpop and they are also still currently the only kpop group I Stan so I honestly don’t know what I would do if they ever did disband or even more members left. I just love them so so much 😭😰💔 so if anyone who’s more knowledgeable would like to enlighten me and tell me I’m going insane, please do #TOPPKLASSFIGHTING #TOPPDOGGFIGHTING

*UPDATE*

- something I forgot,  a while ago, Hansol posted on IG writing a MaryKiko story(which has since been deleted) where I couldn’t help but think he was talking about himself and in the post it said that this “she”(I’m guessing Mary) wanted to spend her birthday alone which instantly made me think Hansol wanted to be alone making me wonder whether something had happened between him and the group T.T

*Update 2* 

My sincerest apologies if I cause any upset or concern, that was by no means my intent. I was just freaking out this morning and needed someone else’s more logical opinion and to tell me that I’m being completely ridiculous to help calm me down. In which I received a slight sense of relief when I got a reply from @t-doogo and I am incredibly grateful! Thank you! You were by no means rude, I was just completely unaware of the potential harm I was creating. This was all just my stupid brain running wild (which I probably shouldn’t have shared), for which I am again so sorry for! To all TOPPKLASS members, I love you all and I am so grateful to have found such a loving family ❤️😘 

P.S. I’m so so sorry again!!!!!!!!