paperclipping

Things I have learned since becoming an Adult™

-don’t tell ur coworkers jack shit. You might think they’re your friends but they will sell you out for a paperclip
-everything men tell you is a lie
-store brand vanilla ice cream is better than name brand
-pregnancy tests from the dollar store work just as well as $20 ones
-don’t lie to your doctor
-seriously don’t
-at some point your card will get declined for $6 and nobody but you will care. It happens to everyone at some point in their life
-you will become bffs with your mom (unless she’s a mean person, then skip this one)
-you’ll wish you took the advice adults gave you when you were younger, even though it annoyed you at the time
-people you went to high school with will become teachers, doctors, etc but they will still do drugs and it will be weird. That’s life, my dude
-never underestimate the power of new underwear

Something I think is interesting is if you consider Warp Tour through The Return from Peridot’s perspective, it’s a little bit like…

Imagine you’re working in a good-sized office building. It has a basement, but it’s always locked and you’ve never been there. One day your boss hands you the keys, tells you there’s a fax machine down there, and asks you to go see if it’s working.

You head into the basement, and it’s really creepy down there. There’s weird graffiti on the walls and like… mysterious arrangements of paperclips that you have no idea who put them there or why. But you are here, you have a job to do, you are good at your job, you are finding that fax machine.

And then suddenly a bunch of people you have never seen before jump out of nowhere, strike poses, rattle off some kind of motto and start attacking you. 

You book it back up the stairs and lock the door behind you, because, holy crap, there are people living in the basement, why did no one tell you about this. And naturally the first thing you do is blab to Security and by Security I mean that one ex-Navy Seal with all the tattoos who’s built like she wrestles grizzly bears in her spare time and somehow ended up on security detail in an office building right here at this point in your life when ordinary security will not suffice, because sometimes the corporate gods are merciful. 

And not only does she believe you, but she just sorta looks you over and goes “oh, yeah, those guys. I know who those guys are. Let’s go, I’ve got some unfinished business with them.”

And then to make situations way weirder there’s some other person who shows up around this time who has apparently been held hostage by the basement people for longer than you’ve been working here and she’s deeply alarmed by the phone system and she comes along even though she really doesn’t want to because you have Security on your side and Security probably benches I-beams, and you are totally confident you are going to kick these basement-lurking weirdos’ butts. 

And then the whole situation goes rapidly downhill and then before you know it you’ve been indoctrinated into the basement cult.

  • Coppy the Copy Machine: Hi! I'm Coppy! How can I help you today?
  • Clippy the Word Paperclip: Ladies and gentlemen, I am just gonna state the obvious: we have a doppelganger in our midst. As a civilization that respects creative integrity and intellectual property, I am disgusted at how much you have copied me. Do you not have any value or respect for originality? You’re a laughing stock, it’s cheesy, it’s disgusting. I personally find it absolutely artistically atrocious. I am embarrassed to be sitting here in your presence having to even dignify you with an answer of my opinion
2

So!
I came across a container of paper clips, that I had no use for it. And I remember reading about the paper chain project, so instead of a paper chain I’m using a paperclip chain. Basically what you do is for every day that you’re self harm free, or free of a relapse, you add a paper clip. It has been a 165 days since the last time I self harmed. Therefore there are currently 165 paper clips on my chain. It’s amazing how much more that number means when you can visualize it.
I totally suggest trying it. And don’t get discouraged, it’s taken me many years to get where I am today.

X-Men: Evolution tho

I feel like people are forgetting how great this show is so I want to remind you all that:

  • Mystique was literally every new character and every other villain
  • I’m not kidding. New student? Mystique.The principal? Mystique. That Scottish punk rocker? Mystique.
  • That bird? Also Mystique. If someone is not a main character then they are Mystique.
  • Sometimes if someone is a main character they are still Mystique, like the episode where it turns out that Professor X was Mystique for the whole season
  • Magneto menacingly twirls paperclips in the air in like half the scenes
  • Magneto refuses to stand and instead floats at all times, even if it’s just an inch above the ground
  • Magneto is only shown as a helmet hiding in the shadows for the entire first season
  • Storm is boss as hell and was worshiped as a goddess when she was younger
  • There was an episode where all of the girls lowkey started a gang and tore shit up and kicked the asses of villains more effectively than the entire X-team did for the whole series???
  • Wolverine and Sabretooth fought every time they saw each other. In the mall? On top of a parking garage? While on motorcyles? Fight WITH THE MOTORCYCLES? Like they could literally smell one another miles away and they would run through the whole city just to fight one another, it’s ridiculous
  • The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants crashed a high school soccer game once
  • Everyone in the Brotherhood is a sassy asshole and I love it, esp Quicksilver
  • Professor X is completely unfit to supervise children but people keep giving him their children to supervise
  • Including his own son, whom he, predictably, also failed to supervise
  • There was an episode where hunters caught Beast because they thought he was Bigfoot
  • Right before Jean was going to confess her ~feelings~ to Scott Mystique fucking kidnaps him and throws him to wolves in the desert lol. Professor X also refused to believe another fucking telepath when she said Scott was in danger
  • One of the characters joins a cabal of sewer mutants after he is disfigured by drinking soda that functions as mutant poison
  • Magneto had some secret headquarters at a ski resort
  • Blob knows how to make radish roses
  • The show is surprisingly positive and has great female characters and also some really good commentary about marginalized groups???
  • It’s also really true to the comics and does a lot of great side characters justice
  • Wolverine is like two feet tall in the show, just like in the comics, he’s a great angry munchkin tbh