paper beats

“Korg, the rock monster played by Taika Waititi himself, is one of the funniest characters in the movie, and introduces himself with a rock, paper, scissors joke when he first meets Thor.

But there’s more. At the end of the film, we see that Korg has accidentally crushed his blade-armed alien gladiator friend, thinking he killed him. Though the alien wakes up, the joke there probably sailed over everyone’s head. Rock beat scissors.

And if you want to go deeper than that, Korg explains to Thor how he tried to start a revolution but failed because he didn’t print enough pamphlets. Paper beat rock.

This is just too good. Too damn good, Waititi. Amazing.”

from Paul Tassi’s “Five Brilliant Hidden Jokes in Thor: Ragnarok”.

Favourite bits in Thor: Ragnarok

 SPOILERS.

……

- Hulk acting like a 5 year old. “Don’t leave!” Cue him throwing something. 
- When Thor gets thrown around by Hulk in the arena and Loki is like YES THAT’S HOW IT FEELS
- Thor’s expanded lightening abilities are amazing
- The snake story had me in stitches. Thor’s face looked so disgusted at the memory of it and Loki is just sat there smirking
- Valkyrie’s backstory
- When Bruce throws himself out of the ship, but doesn’t hulk out in time so he hits the bifrost. That literally got the biggest laugh in the cinema!
- The grandmaster and his melt stick
- Korg (aka rock guy). He had the best one liners oh my god
- “Asgard is not a place. It’s a people”
- Thor not falling for any of Loki’s tricks/ betrayals anymore
- Thor and Loki teaming up <3
- “If you were really here I might give you a hug.” “I’m here.” *cue me crying*
- Bruce and his very tight Tony trousers
- Dead Doug
- Korg and his rock paper scissors joke
- Valkyrie beating the shit out of everyone
- I see you Loki side eyeing the tesserect
- Heimdell looking fine while he saves everyone
- The score!!!
- Thor continuously repeating the sun is getting real low to try and calm Bruce down
- Get help
- “It is I, your saviour”


This film is a gift. 

anonymous asked:

Love your work! Hey maybe since your headcannons are open, you could do something fluffy. Maybe dick and (and maybe batsis if you want) as tiny children interacting with Bruce around the rest of the league and them being in shock that broody edge-lord batman is a dad of 9 year olds

*screeching* yesssss I love this idea okay here we go:

• Okay first of all you both hide under his cape
• The JL will be having a Very Important Meeting™
• And suddenly from under Bruce’s cape they just hear
• “No fair! Lizard beats paper!”
• “We’re not playing with lizard!”
• Everyone just stares at Bruce until he lifts his cape
• And there’s two tiny cute kids under there?
• Hal thinks you and Dick are adorable
• Dinah cannot get enough of you
• Supes is so Done™
• You hide in his cape when it’s cold
• You’ve fallen asleep under his cape while he’s on watch duty
• Hal teasing Bruce
• Bruce not being able to retaliate because he loves his babies
• The JL members start bringing games for you to play to the watchtower
• Barry brings you guys Legos
• This is fine until Oliver steps on one
• Bruce is just
• “Stop bringing my children stuffed animals! They have enough as it is.”
• They don’t stop bringing you stuffed animals
• The JL is actually a little disappointed when you two aren’t with him
• You and Dick playing in the watchtower and hall of justice
• Hide and seek is great in the watchtower

funnyman rock paper scissors
  • Adam Sandler beats Will Ferrell. sandler’s sports comedies are modern classics whereas ferrell’s are largely forgotten. also, stranger than fiction was probably better than click but it didn’t make me cry, so
  • Will Ferrell beats Jim Carrey. will’s shtick has proven to have greater longevity in the 21st century comedy world. also hey jim “doesn’t like to do sequels” carrey, liar liar and yes man were the exact same movie. carrey’s sequels cowardice was solely responsible for son of the mask
  • Jim Carrey beats Adam Sandler. carrey’s forays into dramatic roles have been more lauded. also people at parties get really mad at me if I suggest we watch billy madison, but they don’t get as mad if I suggest ace ventura instead
✧World of Mages Spellbook✧

A little bird told me: a spell to make birds deliver messages

A place for everything, and everything in its place: teleports target to its rightful place

An Englishman’s word is his bond: binds an oath with magic, breaking the bond makes your hand cramp up and you would loose your voice for a few weeks

And we all fall down: makes the target fall to the ground

April Showers: re-blooms flowers

As you were: returns a broken/misplaced object to its original state

Back off: pushes someone away from you

Back to start: resets something to its original state

Be our guest: the guest of a home will become immune to all dangers created inside the house

Bend over backwards: makes the target bend over backwards uncontrollably

Candle in the wind: Increases stamina, but can backfire by creating a fire you can’t put out

Cat got your tongue: effects unknown, a “wicked spell,” most likely vanishes one’s tongue temporarily

Clean as a whistle: cleans off the dirt you can see from the target

Come out, come out, wherever you are: makes something hidden appear

Dead in the air: kills everything flying in the air within a certain radius

Don’t worry, be happy: calms the target down

Early to bed and early to rise: a healing spell

Fine tooth comb - _____! : finds a particular phrase/name from a book

Float like a butterfly: allows the caster to float to the ground effortlessly

Get well soon: a healing spell

Hair of the dog: to cure a hangover

Have a break, have a Kit-Kat: crumbles rocks

Hell hath no fury: conjures large amounts of controllable fire

Helter skelter: A children’s spell to make things go flying when throwing a tantrum

Here ye, here ye: to make one’s voice carry 

Hurry up:  makes vehicles move faster

Hush little baby: calms the target down 

Into thin air: to vanish a mess

It’s show time: reveals something hidden

Ix-nay on the atford-Way: the victim will be unable to talk about magic to any Normal

Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home: for casting out pests and mice

Let there be light: conjures light around the area

Make a wish: extinguishes a flame

Make way for the king: clears traffic from a road while driving

Nonsense: a spell for scared children, for sweeping away practical jokes and flights of fancy

Olly ollly oxen free: makes something hidden appear

On love’s light wings: to make a person float, only works if you understand the Great Vowel Shift of the Sixteenth Century and if you’re stupidly in love

Open Sesame: opens doors dramatically

Out, out, damned spot: removes stains, especially blood and “unspeakable things”

Paper beats rock: When the spelled paper hits the target, they become unconscious (not sure about this one?)

Resistance is futile: makes the target stop resisting

Run for your life: gives the target stamina to run quickly away from danger

Scooby-Dooby-Doo, where are you: reveals something hidden

See what I mean: enables the caster to write in the air with their finger

Simon says: feeds magic into the target to give them the ability to cast a spell

Some like It hot: warms food and beverages

Stand your ground: spells one’s feet into the dirt

Stay put: to keep your hat in place on your head

Stay the course: puts a car in “auto-pilot” while driving

Take it away: to vanish a mess

The lady’s not for turning: a spell to be used in combat, especially for women, effects unknown

The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth: forces out honesty

There’s nothing to see here: to refocus attention

These aren’t the droids you’re looking for: hides something out of view

Twinkle, twinkle little star: teleports the caster to a space-like world? 

Tyger, tyger, burning bright: immolates the caster in a burst of flames

U can’t touch this: barrier spell, only works if the threat knows the song

Up, up and away: teleports/levitates an object to a desired location, should not be used on humans, because you can accidentally pull out their lungs through their shoulders

You’re getting warmer: warms the target

Your attention please: to attract attention


this is every spell from Carry On by @rainbowrowell ! this took so long but it was worth it!

3

more incorrect quotes that none of you asked for, bUT I’M STILL DOING DOING THEM

I plan on doing more of these tbh………. they’re……… s o good

this one is based on this post by @incorrectpapermarioquotes !!

Nice to see y'all are enjoying these time traveling shenanigans just as much as I am! (・ω・)ノ

————

ZENYATTA:
He was assigned to you in the beginning, as a councilor of sorts. That was something he would never mind doing; he enjoyed helping anyone who wanted it.

However, something about you seemed different than others he had worked with.

Yes, you were frazzled- an expected response- but you accepted him, trusted him, at a much faster rate than he was used to.

It was……..refreshing?

Either way, you quickly became one of his favorite students and closest friends. His team of two suddenly became a group of three, and he was left with a confusing feeling, striking him silent in the most peculiar moments.

“You called me master?” Genji peaks around the open door leading out to a close grassy cliff side, perfect for meditation.

“Yes, do you have time to speak with me?” Zenyatta sits there, petting a stray cat in his lap, under the shade of a large tree.

“I do.” He settles next to his master, cross legged as always. “May I ask about what?”

“Of course,” he rests his hand on the back of the purring cat, “I wish to speak of my emotions. They have become more and more confusing as time passes.”

Genji nods in agreement. “I understand. I will do my best to help you master.” He folds his hands in his lap. If he was being honest, he didn’t feel anywhere near qualified to assist him.

“I am glad.” He hums, “Now where to begin?” He taps his chin. “Perhaps the warmth in my chest.”

“Warmth? Are you sure it is emotion causing it?”

“Yes. I had a doctor check it.” He sets his hand on his chest plate, “I believe it is caused by my body overworking itself due to unknown circumstances. It is a feeling akin to a fierce battle; though, one is not occurring at the time.”

“And, when does it happen?”

“During the normalities of my daily routine.” He lowers his hand and glances at it, “There are times as well were I cannot think, or am forgetful. Though, it is not happening now.”

“That is interesting. You still have no idea what the cause is?”

“No.” He sighs. “Do you have any suggestions, my student?”

“I am not sure. Human and Omnic emotions sometimes differ,” he pauses, “however, if you were human, I would think that you were either sick, or had a crush.”

“A crush?” It was more of a statement than a question. “Yes, that would make sense.”

“It would? But, on who?” Though he tried to hide it, his extreme curiosity coated his words.

“Hmm. Perhaps [y/n].” He begins to pet the cat again, and it lets out a contempt chirp. “Yes, as I think about it, I believe it is correct.” He beams at Genji. “Thank you.”

“It is no problem.”

GENJI:
Good friends, to Genji, were hard to come by. Sure, he had many acquaintances, but not many people above that.

It took maybe a day of knowing each other to move into friendship. He was ecstatic, to say the least, to find someone so fond of his presence, and who would also laugh at his lame jokes (to which he told a lot).

“High five!” You boast, and he complies, following it up with a fist bump. Childish, he knew, but he was allowed to be such. “Haha! Nice.”

“No fair!” Lúcio fakes a huff. “I’m not used to going on three! I panicked!”

“Okay, my turn.” You place your fist in your palm, determination in your eyes, “Me and you, death match.”

“I will not lose to you again!” He readies his stance, Angela counts down, and you both release your weapons.

“Paper beats rock, Genji wins.” She announces.

Lúcio knowingly sets his hand on your shoulder as your head falls. “Looks like we got cleaning duty.” You groan loudly and he nods solemnly, “Me too.”

“It’s best to get started now.” Angela starts, shooing the two of you out. “The storage room needs a lot of work.”

“We know,” you sigh and turn to leave, “c'mon Lúcio.”

As soon as the door shuts behind you, Genji begins his speed walk out, only to be stopped by Mercy’s expecting hum.

“You weren’t expecting to leave without giving me an update, now were you?” His shoulders droop, knowing he’s already lost.

“No, of course not Doctor Ziegler.” Curse his polite nature! He knew she only wanted to gossip, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be rude enough to lie in order then leave.

She clasps her hands excitedly and smiles wide. “So, any new developments?”

“No, nothing has changed.” Her smile disappears slightly.

“Still nothing?” He nods and she frowns, “Genji, I thought Saturday was the day!”

“It was.” He crossed his arms, pausing his thought, carefully choosing his words. “Until I accidentally spilled juice on them.”

She was struck with silence. “I- and how did that happen?”

He places his head into his hand, “I was……….showing off…….”

“Genji,” he hears her scolding him, “we talked about this!”

“Yes, I recall.” He runs his hand down his faceplate, “I was nervous and not thinking. I did apologize, but that may have made things worse.”

“Is that why there was broken glass on the floor?”

“Yes.”

She let out a short sigh, “You do tend to make a big fuss around them.” Steam leaks from his shoulders and he turns his head away. She shakes her head, tapping her foot against the floor. “Maybe it would be easier if you didn’t try so hard. I’m afraid, at this rate, you might end up really hurting someone.”

He shifts on his feet and nods slightly. “You are right. I should try to handle this less forcibly.”

“Do you want me to brain storm ideas with you?” She offers.

He perks up a small bit, “It would be most appreciated.”

MCCREE:
It was no secret that you were immediately shy upon meeting the cowboy. But there was something else about you, something……..odd.

Maybe that wasn’t the best way to put it- yet he didn’t know what else it would be. So, his curiosity drove him to you. He needed to know what it was.

Now, believe it or not, Jesse was a smart man; and when feelings started to occur, he immediately started to distance himself, only to realize that he was in too deep.

For him, a fling was something he could handle. Real romance? Haha! No.

“Hey! Mr. Jesse, any chance I could talk with you?” Oh, it was that Lúcio kid. What could he want to talk about? They weren’t exactly friends; more like acquaintances.

“Sure, I guess?” He shoves his hand into his pocket, and uses the other one to scratch his beard. “‘Bout what, exactly?”

“[y/n]-” Why you? What about you would he want to talk about? Oh. Oh god! The jig is up, he knows; he’s gonna tell you! Abort, ABORT.

“You doin’ okay over there, buddy?” Lúcio sways slightly on his heels, “You’re getting a little pale.”

He coughs in his hand to rid himself of nerves. “Yeah, just dehydrated, I reckon.” His body feels a bit more clunky, “I didn’t quite catch what you said there before.”

Moment of truth. He knew this day was coming, but did he prepare for it? No.

“If you say so…” He wasn’t entirely convinced; it was written all over his eyes.

He distantly remember you telling him that Lúcio was incredible at reading people, and that wasn’t helping him calm down one bit.

“I was just asking what you thought I should get for their birthday?”

Ah.

Well, doesn’t he just feel like an idiot.

“I’m sure whatever’s fine.” He wanted this conversation to end so that he could go to his room and scold himself for getting so worked up over nothing.

“Are you sure your okay? Nothing’s up?” There was a pause, not long enough for him to respond. “Is it about [y/n]?”

“Uh-”

“It is!” He exclaims, pointing. Man, he was good at reading people.

“No, it’s not!” Jesse crosses his arm, glancing around the room. He’d rather not talk about this in a public place.

“I promise I won’t tell no body!” This boy was getting excited. He shuffles over to him and jokingly jabs his side with his elbow. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll be my present to them, huh?”

“Now that’s just ridic-”

“Oh my god. I was just joking! I didn’t know that you actually liked them!” How much more excited could this kid get?

“Look, I don’t really want to talk about it.” He lifts his hat off his head, runs his fingers through his hair, and places it back on his head. “Not here, anyway.” He gestures to the open, and thankfully empty, lounge.

“Oh yeah, got it!” The Dj whispers at him with a wink. “I’m totally willing to help you out, dude!”

“I….. just might take you up on that offer.”

“Really!?”

“Not if you keep shouting!”

“Sorry.”

———-

I really like writing Lúcio……. Can you tell?

(I’m also really tired, so please excuse my mistakes ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ)

  • Leo: Lets just do Rock Paper Scissors to see who Jason's best man is?
  • Percy: No, no, no, no. I hate that game I always lose
  • Leo: Cause you always pick rock
  • Percy: That's because nothing beats rock
  • Leo: Paper beats rock
  • Percy: Not buying it
  • Leo: Fine, we'll play a new game. How about cockroach, foot, nuclear bomb? Foot squashes cockroach, nuclear bomb squashes foot, cockroach survives nuclear bomb
  • Percy: Oh thats great. I'll be nuclear bomb, nothing beats nuclear bomb
  • Leo: cockroach beats nuclear bomb
  • Percy: Oh we'll see about that
  • [Later]
  • Leo: One two three go
  • [Leo picks cockroach, Percy picks nuclear bomb]
  • Leo: Cockroach beats nuclear bomb. Thats 38 wins in a row. I think its safe to say I'm the best man
  • Percy; Wait a minute, i just noticed something. Cockroach always wins. One more time
  • Leo: Fine. One two three go
  • [Leo picks foot, Percy picks cockroach]
  • Percy: Foot, I forgot about foot. So foot always wins. One more time. Winner, best man, period.
  • Leo: One two three
  • [Leo picks nuclear bomb, Percy picks foot]
  • Percy: Bomb! Nuclear bomb beats foot. Its like everything in this game loses to something else
  • Leo: Yes, it's exactly like that
  • Percy: Wait. Except. Aha! I was so blind. Nuclear bomb beats everything. One more time, winner take all.
  • [Leo picks cockroach, Percy picks bomb]
  • Percy: Im going home
blush | school series 2

characters: you x jihoon

summary: an accumulation of moments with a sweet and easily red jihoon

quote: “you’re mine”

school series: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

Keep reading

Sketch (M)

Summary: After sixteen years of dreaming about the same unknown beautiful girl, Jungkook finally gets to put a name to her face – and she’s so much more than what he’s dreamt of.

A/N: I FINALLY FINISHED IT!!!! After a fucking week of being under writer’s block, I came up with this idea last night and I am so fucking happy with the way this turned out! I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do! xx.

Words: 9.6k.

Warnings: Soulmate!AU, Artist!Jungkook. Tons of fluff but balanced out with smut bc I got emotional lmao. There’s also very mild swearing.

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

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Carry On spells

Because I made this post I now have a list of pretty much all the spells used in Carry On, so I thought I’d post them here in case they are useful to anyone!! (They’re in alphabetical with chapter numbers after)

  • A little bird told me! (Ch.19)
  • A place for everything, and everything in it’s place! (Ch.35)
  • An Englishman’s word is his bond! (Ch.42)
  • And we all fall down! (Ch.80)
  • April Showers! (Ch.40)
  • As you were! (Ch.44)
  • As you were! (Ch.73)
  • As you were! (Ch.17)
  • Back Off! (Ch.76)
  • Back to start! (Ch.73)
  • Be our guest! (Ch.50)
  • Bend over backwards! (Ch.81)
  • Candle in the wind! (Ch.3)
  • Carry on, carry on! (Ch.82)
  • Cat got your tongue! (Ch.34)
  • Clean as a whistle! (Ch.52+53)
  • Clear the air! (Ch.23)
  • Come out, come out, wherever you are! (Ch.14+80)
  • Dead in the air! (Ch.19)
  • Don’t worry, be happy! (Ch.81)
  • Early to bed and early to rise! (Ch.29)
  • Easy come, easy go. Little high, little low! (Ch.82)
  • Fine-tooth comb ___ ! (Ch.46+55)
  • Float like a butterfly! (Ch.48)
  • Get well soon! (Ch.29)
  • Hair of the dog! (Ch.20)
  • Have a break, have a Kit-Kat! (Ch.76)
  • Head over heels! (Ch.81)
  • Hear ye, hear ye! (Ch. 44)
  • Hell hath no fury! (Ch.80)
  • Helter skelter! (Ch.81)
  • Hit the floor! (Ch.81)
  • Hold fast! (Ch.7)
  • Hurry up! (Ch.1)
  • Hush little baby! (Ch.81)
  • Into thin air! (Ch.3)
  • It’s show time! (Ch.17)
  • Ix-nay on the atford-way! (Ch.37) *
  • Keep it together! (Ch.7)
  • Let me, let me, let me! (Ch. 80)
  • Let there be light! (Ch.80)
  • Make a wish! (Ch.61)
  • Make way! (Ch.60)
  • Make way for the King! (Ch.60)
  • Nonsense! (Ch.73)
  • Olly olly oxen free! (Ch.14)
  • On love’s light wings! (Ch.83)
  • Open Sesame! (Ch.29)
  • Out, out, damned spot! (Ch.3)
  • Paper beats rock! (Ch.76)
  • Please! (Ch.80)
  • Please, please, please! Let me, let me, let me! (Ch.80)
  • Resistance is futile! (Ch.81)
  • Run for your life! (Ch.80)
  • Scooby-Dooby-Doo, where are you! (Ch.17)
  • See what I mean! (Ch.23)
  • Shut up! (Ch.60)
  • Simon says! (Ch.83)
  • Some like it hot! (Ch.5)
  • Stand your ground! (Ch.31)
  • Stay cool! (Ch.7)
  • Stay put! (Ch.2)
  • Steady on! (Ch.7)
  • Suck it up! (Ch.7)
  • Take it away! (Ch.3)
  • The lady’s not for turning! (Ch.20)
  • The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! (Ch.26)
  • There’s nothing to see here! (Ch.44+76+epilogue)
  • These aren’t the droids you’re looking for! (epilogue)
  • Time flies! (Ch.68)
  • Twinkle, twinkle little star! Up above the world so high! (Ch. 48)
  • Tyger, tyger, burning bright! (Ch.44)
  • U can’t touch this! (Ch.44)
  • Up, up, and away! (Ch.42+80)
  • You’re getting warmer! (Ch.62) 

plus..

Keep reading

forbes.com
Five Brilliant Hidden Jokes You Probably Missed In 'Thor: Ragnarok'
Thor: Ragnarok is a hilarious new addition to the MCU, but once you excavate all the hidden jokes you missed, it's even more funny.
By Paul Tassi

[THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. READ ONLY IF YOU’VE SEEN THE FILM]

Thor: Ragnarok is tearing up the box office this weekend, revitalizing what was kind of the black sheep movie franchise of the MCU by allowing the brilliant Taika Waititi to run wild as director. The end result is probably the single funniest Marvel movie ever made, passing up even The Avengers, Spider-Man: Homecoming and Guardians of the Galaxy, which I would say shared the crown before.

Most of the jokes in Thor: Ragnarok are obvious. They have to be, or it would be a lot of head-scratching and awkward silence, so there’s more or less a funny line every minute or so. But Waititi, comedic genius that he is, hid some jokes all over the movie Arrested Development-style where you have to actually read about them after the fact, given that you probably missed them at the time.

I’ve rounded up five hidden jokes that flew over my head the first time, some being a bit more in-depth than others. If you caught these on the first try, good work, you are more observant than I was. But for everyone else, here’s what you missed. Spoilers will obviously follow.

Keep reading