papa and his scruff

Papa III: Alpha, would you please ask Earth if he cleaned the litter boxes yesterday? there is a stench that is rather unruly around the living room and I cannot bear it!

Alpha: *is playing Mass Effect* ……

Papa III: …..Alpha?

Earth: hey Papa! I heard you, and I did clean them earlier today! let me tell you, Asmodeus dropped some serious loads in there. Phew!!

Papa III: ah, good to know. then…where is….

Omega: *walks in* UGH. I think I found the source of the smell. this kitchen garbage is almost over flowing.

Papa III: oh. very good then. Alpha, would you take the trash out?

Alpha: *still playing*…..mhnnn…..nah

Papa III: excuse me?

Alpha: I said no? I’m busy killing aliens. why don’t you do it??

Papa III: *gasps* !!!!

Omega: Alpha. don’t be an ass!

Alpha: oh, what? did I make the old man clutch his pearls or somethin? I ain’t doin SHIT on my time off ya heard me?

Omega: *rolls up sleeves*


Papa II: *bursts through the door out of nowhere*

Papa III: brother?!

Omega: Papa II???

Alpha: gramps the second? how the hell did you get her-

Papa II: *drags Alpha off the couch by the scruff of his neck*

Alpha: *yelps* !!!!!

Papa II: listen here you sniveling little runt. your leader may not be as grounded in disciplining you as I was when I was in charge. but that does not mean that I cannot intervene when needed. you WILL respect your elders. you WILL respect your fellow clergyman and you WILL respect your brothers until your final breath- so long as you remain within this church. it is with what The Old One has foretold and is what’s to be expected of you. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

Alpha: *is shaking* y-yeah….

Papa II: good. now go take out the trash. and after that you will mop the floors. there are cat paw prints everywhere!

Alpha: *runs off to utility closet*

Omega: well I’ll be…..

Papa II: ah, Omega. still as handsome as ever! I see your…..backside is still as lovely.

Omega: …..what is it with everyone and my ass-

Papa II: *glares at Papa III* AND YOU.

Papa III: *whines* me??

Papa II: *pinches his arm*



[Yang sits dejectedly in her bed, when Winter drives up next to her window in a sporty convertible]

Winter - Hello ?

Yang - [leans out the window] I think you just ran over my dad’s garden

Tai - [in the distance] MY SUNFLOWERS !!!

Winter- He’ll be compensated…..

Yang- What are you here for ? [looks away] You’re not exactly the Schnee I was expecting

Winter- Please dont think too badly of her…..she’s being held up by our father 

Yang- What ? Is he keeping her locked in her room ?

Winter- Yes

Yang - [surprise] S….seriously ?

Winter - Jacques Schnee is a Nuckelavee’s ass

Yang- [falls out of her bed in a panic] Well what are we doing here for [gets up and stumbles to her dresser] That’s child abuse ! We gotta go !  [pulls out suitcase and opens it on her bed] [starts throwing her entire wardrobe into suitcase]

Winter- I couldn’t agree more…..

Yang - [closes suitcase and tosses it into Winter’s convertible] Well let’s go 

Winter - First things first ……. [reaches under seat] I’ve taken the liberty of retrieving the missing half of your weapon, and implementing it into [pulls out prosthetic] THIS prosthetic

Yang - I’ll put it on in the car [jumps and slides through window into the car’ I’M COMING WEISS !

[Winter and Yang drive off towards Atlas]




-Weiss’s Room-

Weiss-  I want to leave…..

Papa Schnee - I beg your pardon ?

Weiss- I SAID I want to LEAVE. I dont want to stay here anymore ! I don’t want to stay in ATLAS anymore !

Papa Schnee- Young lady, I don’t give a DAMN about what you want. This isn’t about YOU [points at Weiss] This is about the Schnee family name, and your apparent insistence on dragging it through the mud.

Weiss- [pissed face] I have done NOTHING [stands up] but fight to uphold the honor of MY family name [leans into Papa Schnee’s face] A name YOU married into

[Papa Schnee slaps Weiss]

[Weiss’s door opens. A stoic Winter enters the room. strolling over to Weiss, and pulling her into a hug]

Papa Schnee - Oh the prodigal daughter RETURNS. Hoping for my forgiveness now are you ?

Winter- Sorry father, but there’s no forgiveness on the menu today….

Papa Schnee- Then WHAT are you doing here

Winter- I brought a friend home  [points behind Papa Schnee to Yang]

Yang- [cracking knuckles] Hel-looooooooooo ^^

[Yang grabs Papa Schnee by the scruff of his collar and begins pummeling him in the face with her weapon]

Weiss- He HIT me 

Winter- I know Weiss, but big sister’s here now. 

Weiss- You can’t stay here Winter, you have important millitary things to do [sniffs]

Winter- I always have time for my little sister [hugs Weiss tighter] I’m taking you to Haven Academy so you can continue your education

Weiss - [looks over to Yang as she continues to pummel her father] Is she coming to ? 

Winter- I’ll ask when we’re done packing your things [leads Weiss to the door] I have to make sure you and that Ruby girl are well taken care of 

Weiss - [quickly turns to Winter in a brief moment of excitement] RUBY’S THERE ?!?!

[Weiss calms down and looks away] 

Winter- [taken aback] [coughs nervously] Yes…..I believe I’ve heard that

[Wheatley Schnee runs into the room, and spots the carnage]

Wheatley - [spots Yang beating the moustache off of Papa Schne]  FATHER ?! [rushes to Papa Schnee’s side]

Yang- [kicks Wheatley in the stomach without stopping the beating of his father] NERD [tosses Papa Schnee next to Wheatley] [crouches next to Wheatley] Who told you it’s ok to be mean to your big sis

Wheatley - [weak voice] D….dad 

Yang - And how’d that turn out ?

Wheatley [ groans and passes out]

Yang- [gets up and slaps hands together] OK [looks over to Weiss and Winter] You said we’re going to haven [jogs over to Weiss and kisses her on the cheek]

Weiss- [smiles and places hand over kissed cheek] Uh huh…..

Yang - Neat =)

[Weiss, Winter, and Yang walk out the door]

Writing Requests are OPEN