pantskats brain diarrhea

I love the goddess Athena's myth because it's basically
  • Zeus: MY HEAD HURTS, HIT ME WITH AN AXE
  • Hephaestus: wouldn't you rather take some aspirin or
  • Zeus: IN THE FACE! NEED IT! WANT IT NEED IT HAVE TO HAVE IT! FACESHOT! SLAM! BRAINS EVERYWHERE! Not the KNEE, not the ARM, not the SPINE - FACE! IT HAS TO HAPPEN! HNNNNG! FACEY FACEY FACE FACE! TIRED OF WAITING! NO MORE WAITING! NEED A FACE HIT! BOOM! SQUISH! YAY!
  • HIT ME IN THE FAAAAAAAACE! DO IT! HIT ME IN THE FACE WITH AN AXE! FACE FACEFACEFACEFACE! NOW! AXE IN THE FACE! WANT IT! NEED IT! GIMMEGIMMEGIMME! AT THE SOUND OF THE BELL IT WILL BE FACESMASHING O'CLOCK! BONGGGGG! KNOCK KNOCK WHO'S THERE HIT ME IN THE FACE WITH AN AXE! END OF JOKE! I'M GONNA SING A SONG! HIT ME AT THE END OF IT! ...I NOTICE YOU HAVEN'T HIT ME IN THE FACE! CURIOUS AS TO WHY! Maybe you're weighing the moral pros and cons but let me assure you that OH MY GOD HIT ME IN THE GODDAMNED FACE WITH AN AXE WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!
  • Hephaestus: *hits him in the head with an axe and a fully grown woman springs from his head screaming a battle cry*

OK YOU SEE THIS COLOR?
LISTEN UP.
I WENT ON A WHOLE RANT ON WHY THIS COLOR IS HIDEOUS.
AND I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING.
THIS COLOR CERTAINLY DIDNT EXIST IN CAVEMEN TIMES, OR ANCIENT ROME, OR THE EARLY 1900s. THERE IS NO WAY THAT A COLOR THIS ARTIFICIAL COULD HAVE EXISTED BACK THEN. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
SOMEONE.
INVENTED.
A COLOR.
AND IT’S HIDEOUS.

Homestuck, more like “Are you ready to have your hope killed, life destroyed, heart disintegrate, your breath gone, and succumb to the void when the light in your life is gone? Cuz time’s up and there’s no space for improvement”