pants are for mundanes

how i think their tokyo date went

as requested by the lovely @darpom15 ! thank you so much for this prompt, i don’t know how i never thought of writing it before :) 

(this also turned out to be much longer than i expected lol sorry)


They had just finished dinner and Magnus had somehow managed to convince Alec to go to a bar for a couple of drinks. The two stopped in front of an overflowing building with neon lights lining the windows and Alec immediately tensed up. “Magnus…” Alec said cautiously, causing the man to stop in his tracks in front of him.

Magnus turned to face Alec with a hopeful smile. He knew exactly what Alec was thinking and sighed. “I know you wouldn’t have come if I told you it was a gay bar, Alexander.” Alec hesitantly looked back at the doorway of the bar. “It’s a Downworlder bar too, it’ll be fine,” reassured Magnus, reaching a hand out to Alec, a comforting smile on his face.

Throwing all caution to the wind, Alec took Magnus’ hand. He couldn’t stay in his own bubble forever. He was just starting to feel comfortable in his own skin and he had to take advantage of the opportunity to branch out when he had the time. As soon as they stepped in, Alec’s hand became sweaty and Magnus noticed almost immediately. Alec looked around the place, at the Vampires, Seelies, and even the odd Shadowhunter. He knew the Shadowhunters in Tokyo had a better relationship with Downworlders and Alec could only wish it were the same back in New York.

He also noticed everyone in the bar was exactly like him and Magnus. Men with men, women with women, just people with people, out to have a fun night, and Alec decided to do the same. He tightened his grip on Magnus as they weaved through the crowd up to the bartender.

“Nice to see you stop by again, Magnus,” said the bartender while serving another customer. Magnus turned his head in surprise and smiled at the man.

“Always a pleasure, Hinata!” exclaimed Magnus, beaming.

Alec looked between the two, an eyebrow raised. “You two know each other?” asked Alec. He looked the man behind the counter up and down, noticing his pale skin and the sharp teeth poking through his grin. Vampire.

Hinata threw his head back in a laugh. “Oh, we go way back,” he replied, walking up to the two. Alec noticed Hinata had red streaks through his hair, similar to how Magnus did his own sometimes. The glitter under his eyes was also a dead give away that the two had previously known each other.

Magnus nodded and looked back at Alec. “Hinata was the one to introduce me to the nightlife here in Tokyo. Right up his alley,” chuckled Magnus, looking at him fondly. Alec hardly got to see this side of Magnus. The look he gave Hinata was one that Alec had never seen before but he quickly recognised it as a look that said ‘God, I’ve missed this’. And Alec caught himself grinning at Magnus.

“Almost 70 years ago now, if I’m not mistaken.” Hinata turned towards Alec. “And even then it was rare to see Magnus Bane walking around with a Shadowhunter on his arm,” said Hinata. He pointed at Alec. “You must be special,” he commented with a smirk on his face and Magnus’ smile only grew.

Alec let out a carefree laugh and placed a hand on Magnus’ back. He excused himself for a moment to use the bathroom and braced himself before turning back into the sweaty crowd. Just as he was making his way back to Magnus, Alec couldn’t help but overhear a conversation that a group of Seelies were having. He didn’t understand much due to the conversation being in Japanese but he knew enough to pick out some words.

Alec hurried his way over to Magnus and Hinata. Placing a hand on Magnus’ arm, Alec said, “I think we might wanna leave.”

A look of worry overtook Magnus’ face and his features became tense. “Why? Did something happen?” asked Magnus. He was sure that Alec had been enjoying himself until now.

Alec shook his head and swallowed hard. “I overheard two Seelies on my way back. I didn’t really understand everything but I did hear the words 'bastard’, 'fortune’, and 'Magnus’ in the same sentence, so…”

Magnus frowned and looked around behind Alec, scanning the crowd for a familiar face. Hinata laughed loudly behind the counter and they both turned to him questioningly. “I heard that too,” he said and looked down in order to concentrate on hearing the Seelies better. “Magnus… has another thing… coming… if he thinks he can show his face here again,” relayed Hinata slowly, translating as best he could. Alec’s eyes went wide as he stared at Magnus. Hinata chuckled. “Sounds like you’re in big trouble this time,” he said pointedly and Magnus cringed.

Magnus had messed with so many people in his life that he couldn’t even remember what he had screwed up all the way back in Tokyo. He looked over Alec’s shoulder again and racked his brain for any sign of his wrongdoing. Suddenly, through the crowd, Magnus locked eyes with the group of Seelies that Alec had described and he felt his stomach turn. But in a way that made him excited.

“Yeah we should leave,” said Magnus, getting up and grabbing Alec by the arm. The Seelies began walking towards the pair. “Scratch that – we should run.”

Alec started in surprise as Magnus pulled on him as hard as he could, making his way to the exit as quickly as possible. Alec couldn’t believe what was happening. What were the chances that Magnus would run into someone he was avoiding all the way in Tokyo? The cold air hit them harshly as they stepped out onto the streets and then they were running. They ran and ran and ran until they could be sure that they had lost them. They ran until they reached a dark alleyway that Magnus pulled Alec into. Magnus seemed to know Tokyo like the back of his hand and Alec couldn’t fathom how one man could be so smart.

They stopped running once they reached a kind of pond, dark and empty of any Mundanes. The two collapsed onto a bench, panting and collecting their breath while at the same time laughing uncontrollably. They couldn’t believe how a seemingly peaceful date had turned into something so chaotic. Magnus pulled on Alec’s elbow and placed his hands on either side of the boy’s face. He kissed the boy slowly amidst the laughter and Alec grinned into it, still coming down from the adrenaline rush.

“I was going to ask how much you owe them, but I don’t think I wanna know anymore,” chuckled Alec. Magnus laughed back.

“I’ll be honest, Alexander. I don’t even remember,” he said, sending Alec into another laughing fit. Alec leaned back in the bench and looked at Magnus, a smile creeping its way onto his face without even trying. It had been so long since either of them had laughed that hard. Magnus turned his gaze towards the pond and Alec admired his grace.

Looking behind them, Alec noticed a souvenir shop across the road. “I’ll be right back,” he murmured to Magnus, not wanting to disturb the silence. Magnus nodded and relaxed into the seat.

Alec skipped across the road and made sure not to take long. He picked up a red omamori, paid quickly, and shoved it deep into his pocket. He didn’t want to give it to Magnus just yet. He made his way over to the Warlock again and placed an arm around him. Magnus leaned into the touch, breathing in Alec’s pleasant scent. “What now?” whispered Alec against Magnus’ skin, making it tingle.

Magnus never understood how Alec was able to do that. He sometimes played around with his magic, but Alec, his touch alone made Magnus crazy. He turned to face his boyfriend and grinned from ear to ear which made Alec’s heart skip a beat. “To Prague.”


i hope you enjoyed, let me know what you think! if you have any prompts or scenarios for me, please head over to my ask box.

in the meantime, the kind of morning scene i want.

anonymous asked:

Narry!!!

Send me a ship and I’ll tell you…

Who asks the other on dates: 
Harry! He’s the one that surprises Niall by taking him on helicopter rides over mountains and plans long romantic evenings together. Niall chooses to spend his choice for date nights cuddled on the couch with a beer and a movie.

Who is the bigger cuddler:
Openly? Harry. Secretly? It’s Niall. Harry constantly pulls Niall onto his lap, just holding him and breathing him in. Harry loves to slip his arms around Niall when he least expects it; constantly starts tickle wars (or snog sessions) that Niall pretends he doesn’t love. But Niall enjoys the nights where they are together in their own bed the most, snuggled up behind Harry, just enjoying the closeness. 

Who initiates holding hands more often:
Niall, because he likes the private intimacy of being able to hold hands with Harry in the comfort of their home. Harry grounds him, like nothing else, so it’s just so easy to press up to his side, or place a hand on his back, or entwine their hands together.

Who remembers anniversaries:
Harry remembers the anniversaries like they’re his favourite song lyrics, constantly reminds Niall of them weeks, months before they actually come, but that doesn’t mean that Niall forgets. He’s silent in his knowledge, pretending to be surprised when Harry takes him on some extravagant trip across the world. Just nodding whenever Harry complains about Niall’s bad memory.

Who is more possessive:
Harry, because he likes the way he can fold his big hands over Niall’s hips at the club, watching as others frown in jealousy. Likes sucking hickeys into Niall’s neck because they’re together and Harry really likes when everyone knows about it.

Who gets more jealous:
Niall, because Harry is beautiful in that untouchable way that everyone wants, and sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming, knowing that so many people want Harry, even if Niall knows he’ll always come back to him.

Who is more protective:
Harry is protective, more so than Niall I think, because Niall is a person who looks after others before looking after himself. And sometimes Harry has to be that person that looks after Niall, but he loves it, and wouldn’t have it any other way.

Who is more likely to cheat:
Neither ‘cause this is a shitty question and neither would cheat.

Who initiates sexy times the most:
Harry, whether it’s a not-so-subtle bite under Niall’s jaw, or a complete hand down his pants while they’re in the middle of doing something completely mundane, like watching tv, Harry is the one who is constantly trying to lure Niall to bend him over the couch. ;)

Who dislikes PDA the most:
Like showing PDA? I’d say Niall? Neither of them is super comfortable with it, because of the way that everyone constantly tried to have an opinion about their relationship when they first got together, so they aren’t the most affectionate couple out in public. But I think Niall would get more annoyed when Harry is trying to touch him or kiss him, and Niall just wants to run away from all of the stares that are coming their way.

Who kills the spider:
Harry, surprisingly, because if he doesn’t then Niall will just let them live in the house, and fuck if Harry’s gonna’ let that happen.

Who asks the other to marry them:
Niall tries, but Harry thinks that it’s not fair that only one of them get to propose, so he does it as well a few days later, just in the quiet atmosphere of their living room, unlike the private, romantic dinner on the pier where Niall decided to pull out his ring the first time. (Niall secretly loves Harry’s ridiculous quirks, but pretends to be annoyed when his long emotional proposal speech is interrupted by Harry, who wants to do this proposal thing his way too, and Niall tries to be angry, he really, truly does, but Harry’s pleading face gets him every time.)

Who buys the other flowers or gifts:
They both do, but Harry likes to surprise Niall with experiences, like scuba diving or traveling to Hawai’i, big, grand gestures that they get to enjoy together, and Niall likes to send Harry boxes of chocolates or flowers to the recording studio or set that Harry is in, and then refuse to admit that he sent them.

Who would bring up possibly having kids:
Niall, because they’ve been skirting around the idea for a while but he knows that Harry doesn’t want to be pushy, so he brings it up, late one night while they’re curled up in their bed. Harry is giddy, grinning into the curve of Niall’s neck as he hugs him, and Niall just can’t wait for the joy that their child will bring to them, and to the world.

Who is more nervous to meet the parents:
Niall, because he knows how protective Anne and Gemma are, and he’s not scared they’ll dislike him, knows they don’t dislike him, but is just a bit afraid that they’ll think he isn’t good enough for their son and brother.

Who sleeps on the couch when the other is angry:
Niall, ‘cause Harry is a drama queen when he’s upset and Niall knows that he sometimes has to just let him brood for a few hours. But Harry always wakes up in the middle of the night, still annoyed but feeling slightly guilty about it, dragging Niall back into their room until the morning when they can talk it through.

Who tries to make up first after arguments:
Niall tries his damned hardest after fights to make it better, because he hates to see Harry cry, and sometimes he pushes his own feelings under the rug when Harry is upset.

Who tells the other they love them more often:
Harry says the words more, whispers them against Niall’s ear or screams them out of the window of their car, likes the way the words curl off his tongue and the way they make Niall go pink and blotchy. Niall says I love you with soft touches and discrete smiles and breathy moans, using his actions rather than his words to express himself.

anonymous asked:

Jimon 17

“looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”


Jace was sitting on the floor his head in his hands. “Why did I agree to this?”

Simon glared at him from where he stood, looking around the dark room they were stuck in. “In fairness,” Simon muttered. “This seemed like a good idea at the time.” he jumped up on some boxes, looking out a window. “How long do you think they’re going to stay out there.”

“Who knows.” Jace sighed. They were in a warehouse specially set up from Magnus–there were spells, along with angelic block runes that would make them unable to be tracked. They were running from a bunch of vampires that were after Simon and Jace, now that Simon was a daylighter, and the vampires knew that it was Jace’s blood that had made him able to do so. 

“You could be a bit more helpful.” Simon snapped, jumping down from the boxes. 

“Listen, they’ll give up eventually.” Jace shrugged. “Let’s wait it out until we can get back to the Institute.” 

“I thought you were mister head first guy, or whatever.” Simon murmured. He walked over to Jace, and Jace watched him come. This person, who was neither friend or foe sat before him, gracefully dropping to the ground. “Well, looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”

Keep reading

“Deadpool Sunset” - Digital Oil Painting

Because Wade would totally see himself in the sky a la Mufasa, telling him to “Rememberrrrr” something totally mundane. And yes, his pants are around his ankles.

If you like my work, please consider subscribing to my Patreon! I am saving to buy a wheelchair lift and new battery.

Drabble/Prompt Masterlist

So I got a whack load of prompt request. And I’ve had to make them quite short with the sheer amount of them, so I decided to dedicate a whole master list to them. So here you go!

The 100:

Against Me: John Murphy

Saving: John Murphy

Hurt: John Murphy 

Force: John Murphy

Back Off!: John Murphy

Child: Bellamy Blake

I Need You: Bellamy Blake

The Earth: Bellamy Blake

Only Just A Friend: Bellamy Blake

Sex: Bellamy Blake

Hatred: Bellamy Blake

Shaky Hands: Bellamy Blake

You’re Okay: Bellamy Blake

Back From A Hunt: Bellamy Blake

Important: Jasper Jordan

Riverdale:

You’re Mine: Archie Andrews

Shirts: Archie Andrews

Awake: Archie Andrews

Cheated: Archie Andrews

Drunk In Love: Archie Andrews

Flirting: Archie Andrews

Shorts: Archie Andrews

Stop: Archie Andrews

Adorable: Archie Andrews

Protect You: Jughead Jones

Only You: Jughead Jones

You’re More: Jughead Jones

Now: Jughead Jones

Lip Biting: Jughead Jones

Hey?: Jughead Jones

Stuck Here With You: Jughead Jones

The Blue and Gold: Jughead Jones

You Bug Me: Jughead Jones

To Replace: Jughead Jones

Intoxicated: Jughead Jones/Betty Cooper

Dan And Phil:

Was I?: Dan Howell

Put Some Pants On, Honey: Dan Howell

Sarcasm Is A Mundane Thing: Dan Howell

Insane: Dan Howell

Domestic Happenings: Dan Howell

07/11/17

alberto-rosende  asked:

mcjdjjdjee shaz i know you hate me but !!! PROMPT : simon and raphael meet madzie for the first time at magnus' loft

I combined the two prompts since they were similar, I hope you like it! @100percent–thirsty


It’s been two days since Magnus officially adopt r Madzie from the clave, yet he felt like something was missing.

He whisked around the loft and her bedroom to double cheek that everything was in place, and it most certainly was.

All wards were up to standard, all alcoholic beverages were tightly locked away and the shelves were filled with coloring books, reading books and movies and games.

“Magnus, she’s fine, you’re fine, tell him Madzie” Alec said from his spot on the floor besides Madzie.

Madzie nodded her head when an impatient knock came.

“What could anyone want at this hour” Magnus rolled his eyes and gestured for Alec to stay seated before he got up.

“Raphael” Magnus greeted cheerfully as he swung the door open and saw the vampires “snowflake, it’s been awhile since you visited, is everything alright?” Magnus asked more concerned.

Raphael smiled softly “can’t I visit my dad?” he smirked Magnus stepped out of the doorway.

“Of course you can, is Simon with you?”

“He’s coming” Raphael snorted and stepped in as Simon stumbled up the steps.

“That’s so not fair” Simon panted as if he was a mundane that just ran a marathon and no a vampire that 1. Didn’t need to breathe and 2. Had super speed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Raphael raised an eyebrows and step backwards, his eyes lingering on Simon “you tripped over a garbage can, that’s entirely on you”

“Okay boys, behave” Magnus interrupted before they could continue.

Raphael curtly nodded at Alec and


Simon waved a hello before Madzie’s head peaked out from behind Alec.

Raphael turned quickly to Magnus. “That’s what I forgot, come” Magnus took Raphael’s hand and pulled him towards the living room where and the couches had been pushed aside.

“Raphael,this is Madzie” Magnus gently nudged Raphael to take a seat on the white fur carpet and waved Madzie forward.

“Madzie this is your older brother, Raphael” Madzie hesitantly moved from behind Alec and sat crossed leg in front of Raphael, both of them silent as they take in each other.

“Whoa, hey” Simon grinned “is this the” he gestured widely trying to say ‘hey isn’t this the little girl that kidnaped Clary’ without offending her.

Madzie looked between Alec and Magnus. “This is Simon, he’s Raphael’s boyfriend, this is your family now” Magnus said softly and stroked Madzie’s cheek to calm her.

Keep reading

Comfortably Numb

Alex Summers x Reader

a/n; so, during a sudden bust of inspiration and motivation (mainly from me and @phoenixejean talking about alex and the war) my fingers slipped and i wrote six pages of angst. it strays from canon, so just go with it! enjoy!

warnings; graphic depictions of violence, ptsd

@put-in-writing @shayara @hankmyhusband @jxbilationlee @darth-summers @alexs-ummers @rax-writes @v-writings

[also on ao3]

“Even in times of trauma, we try to maintain a sense of normality until we no longer can. That, my friends, is called surviving. Not healing. We never become whole again … we are survivors. If you are here today… you are a survivor. But those of us who have made it through hell and are still standing? We bare a different name: warriors.” -Lori Goodwin

Keep reading

Bodhi Rook x Reader, Part 3

Title: The Sky is Ours / AO3
Part 1: Hey FlyboyAO3
Part 2: Stars in His Eyes / AO3
Length: 8.8k
Rating: Mature for language and sexual content.
Summary: Bodhi refuses to take Reader off world anymore for fear of putting her in danger again but Reader finally manages to convince him for one more flight among the stars.
A/N: Dedicated to @nightwriterescapingreality who was having a bad day and Bodhi cuddles were required to make everything better :)
Masterlist / WIP List

Keep reading

Jason Momoa Travels With Tomahawks, Throws ’em Around on ‘Kimmel’
Jason Momoa is bringing sexy back — one tomahawk throw at a time. (GIF: Jimmy Kimmel Live/ABC)

Jason Momoa has brought back the ax.

After captivating us with his wrist work — while imbibing — when he was off the clock (see: Jason Momoa Drinks Beer, Throws Ax, Looks Hot), the star of Netflix’s Frontier brought his act to late night on Thursday. He threw around some tomahawks — in between throwing back some glasses of Guinness — on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

We would be remiss if we didn’t point out that the wavy haired hunk, 37, carried the tomahawks into the studio as if he was carrying a newspaper, man purse, or any other mundane thing. Only the leather-pants wearing actor was carrying head-splitting hatchets. Six of them.

Momoa’s talk show essentials include six tomahawks and one pair of leather pants. (Photo: BG017/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)

During his appearance, the Game of Thrones alum admitted he had a beer before his tomahawk throwdown with Kimmel and Guillermo began. (Though we know it only improves his aim.) While he started out a little slow with his mark, by the end he was nailing them.

Momoa celebrated with a beer — as a man who has his own brand of Guinness named after him should.

So where do all these axes come from? Well, in between his TV/movie roles (Aquaman!), romancing Lilakoi Moon (Lisa Bonet), and maintaining those perfect locks, he makes them, of course.

Related: Lisa Bonet Makes Rare Red Carpet Appearance With Husband Jason Momoa

“I started making axes,” he told Kimmel. “This is a Black Wolf Co. ax. It has my tattoo and everything.”

Throwing tomahawks drinking Guinness Me Guillermo And my jimmy Watch me on @JimmyKimmel – Tonight on ABC! #KIMMEL. @netflix @discoverycanada #frontier. @blkwlfco BLACK WOLF CO

A photo posted by Jason Momoa (@prideofgypsies) on Jan 26, 2017 at 8:45pm PST

As for his throwing instruction to Kimmel, he simply said, “Throw it hard.” Makes sense, right?

In a recent interview with Yahoo TV, Momoa talked about his role in Frontier  which he summed up on Kimmel as “Basically me wrapped in fur killing a bunch of English people”) by saying he was born to play Declan Harp. He grew up learning from his outdoorsman relatives and he started collecting period furs, adopting wolves, and making all the hand-crafted blades used in the series with his aforementioned Black Wolf Co., which is a collective of artists.

“They were actually modeled after my grandfather’s knives,” Momoa said. “I kind of am this dude.”

Watch Momoa’s Kimmel appearance here:


And while he jokingly said, “You’d definitely want to knock before you come into my house,” the show’s executive producers Jeff Fierson and Brad Peyton described to Yahoo TV what happened when they were invited to Chez Momoa-Bonet when they were first considering him for the role.

“We arrived there and you know what he looks like physically,” said Fierson. “He was climbing a rock wall that he had built himself for him and his kids, shirtless. He jumps down from the top in a very hero pose, walks up, shakes our hand, and then just starts in with like, ‘Come over here. This is how you throw a tomahawk.’ He has a range to throw tomahawks and this entire bin full of tomahawks that he’s made. He has me, Jewish me, throwing tomahawks by the end of the night.”

Hey, if he’s teaching everyone how to throw tomahawks, we need to get on the list. We’ll bring the beer.

youtube

HOLY COW A NEW EPISODE OF MUNDANE!!?? AND IT’S ABOUT… Socks and pants…???

Which do YOU put on first???

“You know, if you’re going to make us listen to every great shot you’ve ever taken,” Natasha begins, a wicked smile forming, “I think you should also tell us about every time you lost your pants.”

Everyone at the table bursts out in laughter.

Clint pretends to be scandalized. “There’s a king at the table!” he exclaims.

“Actually, I would love to hear these stories,” T’Challa chimes in.

“Hey, you can’t be a great sniper and remember mundane things like putting on pants, okay?” he counters, taking a different line of defense. “Being scatterbrained comes with the job.”

Bucky raises his glass. “I’ll drink to that.”

It’s silent for a moment as everyone looks at him, the implications of what he said sinking in, but the tension breaks as Scott starts to laugh and others join him. Steve looks at him with that stupid frown on his face. “That was a joke, you know,” Bucky says quietly, so that only Steve can hear. “You’re allowed to laugh.”

Steve smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

- from It Will Come Back by sangha (@hufflepuffbuckybarnes here on tumblr!)

so ive just binge-watched all of the voltron eps that are out rn (idk if it’s updating or we’re just waitin for the next season or???) and @captnsulu‘s voltron memes are giving me life so here are some things i wanna suggest

  • lets say pokemon go could happen in space.
    the castle has pokestops
    lance, pidge and hunk are a tightly-formed trio (they all got it at the garrison), lance checks his game at some point soon after they settle in at the castle and hes like “OMG SHIT IT WORKS HERE” and interrupts pidge & hunk’s day to explore the area
    keith also has the game but he refuses to let lance know
    both lance + keith are team valor
    hunk + pidge are instinct
    lance pesters shiro into downloading it, shiro names all his pokemon after the team, and then various star names.
    of course, the pidge/pidgey joke is made. so many times
    keith calls all his rattatas lance
    at one point they land on a planet that’s like 99% water, allura and coran are stuck waiting ages longer than they need to be there bc everyone is catching magikarp so they can get enough magikarp candy to evolve one
  • pidge: “in space, no-one can hear you scream”
  • firefly references everywhere.
    lance, looking at shiro: “we’re too damn pretty to die”.
    keith: “this is something shiro has to do for himself.” / shiro: “NO IT ISNT” / keith: “oh alright then” [everyone starts shooting]
    pidge: “i can kill you with my brain”
    [things are going fine, suddenly galra appear] lance: “curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal” / keith: “i dont think you understand the context of that quote” / lance: “i dont think you understand the context of YOUR FACE”
    keith: “lance, your mouth is talking. you might want to look to that.”
    [shiro gives an order] pidge: yessir, captain tight pants
    [keith gets captured] lance, going through keith’s stuff and finding a journal: “dear diary, today i was an asshole.” [flips page] “today i was kidnapped by galra never to be seen again. it was the best day ever”
  • at some point after rover ‘dies’, the rest of the team find out abt it and how upset pidge is, they all hold a memorial for rover. keith gives a surprisingly touching speech. lance pretends he’s not crying.
  • lance Does Not Stop bringing up the fact that keith dropped out.
    keith: [does simple calculation] / lance: “are you sure? ‘cause i seem to remember you didnt actually finish school”
    keith: [knows obscure fact] / lance: “did you learn that at school- oh, wait.”
    lance: [suggests plan] / keith: that’s a stupid idea. / lance, to shiro: “who are you gonna trust? me, or the dropout?”
  • coran narrating the humans’ behaviour like david attenborough
  • captnsulu already said that pidge has cold hands all the time
    BUT! hunk’s body temp is a lot higher than avg
    pidge: “relationship goals: thermodynamic equilibrium
  • everyone adding ‘space’ before a mundane word
    “space chair”
    “space sleep”
    “space pants” “lance that’s already a thing” “YOURE already a thing” “…….”
  • prank wars. p r a n k w a r s
    it starts out as just keith vs lance (at lance’s instigation obv)
    but then one of keith’s pranks disrupts pidge’s science so pidge joins lance’s team. it’s brutal.
    hunk joins keith just to make it fair but pidge is Evil, they use Physics n shit to create intricate pranks, a lot of which involve water falling on keith.
    hunk quits after his food is targeted.
    meanwhile theyre all tryin to be sneaky abt it bc they know if shiro finds out he’ll make them stop
    shiro finds out, lance is hiding behind pidge whos tryin to hide behind lance at the same time, keith is tryin to edge away subtly, shiro is dead silent and theyre waitin for him to start yelling
    instead shiro suggests they all team up against coran and allura
    they fill the control room with plastic cups full of water. coran trips and falls into the room. water goes Everywhere
  • hunk using ice cream flavours as expletives. “what the rocky road?!” “im gonna beat the strawberry shortcake outta you”
  • the humans bullshitting the alteans like “back on earth…..” “we humans have this saying…..” 
    lance: “theres this species, they have TVs in their stomachs and weird-shaped antennae. we call them tellytubbies.” / coran: “……shiro, is this true?” lance is sure shiro will call him out on it but instead he nods solemnly, adds “yeah, they live in houses they cut into the hills”
  • lance, upon seeing pidge in their green flight suit: “IT’S DAT BOI” / keith + hunk in unison: “O SHIT WADDUP”

Okay so, the witchling chat I hang out in has been having a big issue where some of the members have nasty things hanging out in their rooms. This guide is written for people who have a tendency to attract bad shit. Very few magic folks actually have this problem, but for those of you who do, here’s everything I know. Pace yourself. I can do all of this is one day if I choose because I already have the stuff on hand and I’m a bottomless pit of energy. You do you.

READ MORE

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

promt where carmilla + laura are dating but carmilla breaks up with laura after graduation and runs away because she wants laura to have a normal life. but instead of the usual ending where "laura ages and eventually dies and carmilla visits her grave filled with regret" ending, laura searches for another vampire after carmilla leaves her, convincing them to turn her, and then laura spends a century looking for carmilla and finally finds her after carmilla is sure she's been dead for years

Forever and After

AO3

(Okay so this fic got the hell away from me but omg was it fun to write in the best damn way. I apologize for breaking any hearts but seriously this prompt sort of does it all on its own)

The note is on the bedside table the morning after graduation. Carmilla never had a lot of things but the absence of them is sharp and startling. Her curling script tells Laura to not be afraid, that she’ll find someone one day, that she’ll be happy. 

Laura cries for three days and then does what she always does when she’s lost something. 

She gets it back.

Keep reading

right but what about

  • I’m rEALLY SORRY MY NEW PUPPY WON’T STOP HUMPING YOUR LEG HE’S NEW TO THIS WHOLE WALK THING
  • oh hey neighbor I hoped you liked that little dance party of one I just had in my underwear in front of an open window I totally forgot was there sup
  • my friend accidentally puked in your garden while drunk so here’s a pot of flowers to make up for it please don’t sue us
  • I’m having a crummy day and you have the last pint of my favorite ice cream flavor
  • I accidentally sat at the wrong table after coming back from the bathroom at a restaurant and ate all your food so this is awkward
  • oh hey there fellow shopper I hope you enjoyed my rendition of bohemian rhapsody in the produce aisle at 2 AM sup
  • accidentally mistook your clothes as mine at the laundromat but you have some really nice underwear
  • I’m having a crummy day and the person in line in front of me definitely just took the last piece of Oreo cake and they’re definitely going to hear about it
  • bruh I don’t know what you sat in but I’m going to let you know you have a questionable substance on your pants before you embarrass yourself any further