pansexuality awareness

6

Have pride for the gender identities and lesser known sexualities too!

**EDIT**

Thank you to alfredfbraginsky for adding the following comments to this post. I shouldn’t have made these so hastily and should have included throrough well elaborated information that was accurate, correct and aware of the community.

trangender flag: please don’t assign genders to genitals, please. even if you might be trans yourself, it helps other people in the trans umbrella to not use terms like “biologically male/female”. 

some transgender people might consider themselves identifying as the gender “”opposite”” to what they were assigned at birth (like a trans man identifying as male, but he was assigned ‘female’ as a baby because of his genitals), but not all of them do. also, terms like “opposite gender” erase nonbinary identities and intersex people.

some transgender people consider their ‘biological sex’ the same as the gender they identify, even if they haven’t undergone surgery. a trans man might consider his vagina a “male sex organ” (and he has every right to do so) because it belongs to someone who is a man. 

the only people who really need to know what’s in a trans person’s pants and how it relates to their identity, are the person in question and their physician. 

bisexual flag: i might sound nitpicky, but it’s probably best to not refer to orientations (bi, pan, etc.) as “abilities”. rather, “a bisexual is someone who is attracted to two or more genders, including nonbinary people”. 

nonbinary flag: i appreciate you including the flag, but saying that all nonbinary identities are “between male and female” is unfortunately another example of reinforcing a gender binary.

i personally consider my androgyne identity as a blurring of what my society considers masculine and feminine, but some nonbinary people consider their identities as entirely separate from male or female, or any possible spectrum between male and female. 

intersex flag: i’m not intersex— so if i’m saying something ignorant, please ignore me. but it’s probably best to not say something like “it’s tough to explain” as part of a flag that’s trying to spread awareness.

also, again, please don’t assign genders to genitals. that’s what leads to a lot of harm and dysphoria to intersex people, because of parents and doctors trying to “fix” their body into something regarded as acceptable. in this context, it’s best to describe it as like “resulting in sex organs considered as a mix of biologically “male” and “female”, according to the medical community’s standards.”  

thanks for taking the time to read this, if you do. i know you had good intentions with this post, but it’s important to spread correct information. 

*UPDATE*

Anon messaged me this about asexuality (I didn’t know that aromantic had its own flag, but knew lithromantic was part of that- however, i hadn’t specified romantic orientation in this post, which is pretty problematic of me to do in terms of explanations etc)

Anyways, anon wanted to clarify:

asexuality is only not experiencing sexual attraction, not having no sex drive (even though some asexuals also have no sex drive, but it’s possible to be any sexual orientation and have no sex drive, or even not be into sex), it’s also not applicable to romantic endeavors, that would be aromantic, which has it’s own flag, and the aromantic spectrum may include lithoromantic, but the asexual spectrum does not.

I feel like asexuals would make great sidekicks for pansexuals. Or pansexuals would make great sidekicks for asexuals. Really, the pansexuals could go either way.

Happy Pansexual Awareness Day lovely people!

Let’s celebrate together ;)

Here’s my input - some of my vids and explanations to frequently asked questions. Love you all! <3

FAQ pansexuality

FAQ 1: What is the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality?

Haha the never ending question and dangerous territory at times. 

Recently I saw this picture:

Which may be the way some explain it, however, this is the dangerous territory. As we are aware, just the term “bi” on its own denotes two and then quickly you have the conclusion that it means men and women, but that is not the definition within the LGBT+ community.

Indeed, bisexuality and pansexuality can mean the same, but do not always mean the same. They are rather alike and I believe majority of bisexuals also discard the gender binary in regards to sexual attraction.

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation where one is attracted to the same gender and/or other gender(s). 

The term pansexuality is used interchangeably with bisexuality, and, similarly, people who identify as bisexual may “feel that gender, biological sex, and sexual orientation should not be a focal point in potential [romantic/sexual] relationships”. 

So then of course one asks, what is the difference at all? How are you helping make this any clearer? If anything, you made it more confusing!

Pansexuality: “not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regards to gender or activity” or as I would say “Pansexuality means you have the ability to be with anybody,
 but it doesn’t mean you will be with anyone.”

Are these meanings mutually exclusive? No, not really. There are many overlapping aspects for these two non-monosexual sexualities. It depends on your definition of each, but it comes down to the fact that both are able to be attracted to more than one gender. That is the simple version.

I don’t have anything against bisexuality at all, I do notice that a lot of genderism occurs when explaining sexualities which include attraction to more than one gender, especially bisexuality due to the bi prefix. I try to correct this to others whenever I can, but there are a large variety of ways the world defines bisexuality. 

Like the figure above shows, it overlaps. In my own story, I just felt immediately drawn to pansexuality myself because I wanted to completely remove physical gender from the equation all together. 

There are more similarities than differences between bisexuality and pansexuality. I don’t really see it as a mess as I definitely support anyone with whatever sexuality or sexual preference, I merely want to educate people of the sexualities commonly used nowadays.

I think many people do try and define bisexuality in a binary method in order to establish the difference between the two when explaining pansexuality, but they are more like fraternal twins; incredibly similar with (sometimes) slight differences - also depending on how you see both. In my case, I was feeling the pansexuality one more than the other.

I hope that explains it to you from my view point. In regards to the fact that there are labels, a lot of people who do not feel within the society’s norm will choose a label they connect the most to which allows them to find a like minded community of peers. It is a primal programmed activity of our minds in order to protect ourselves ~ like safety in numbers.

FAQ 2: What is the perspective of a bisexual/pansexual?

I can only explain from my point of view about pansexuality, and here it is. This is not a comparison to bisexual, as I think many bisexuals feel the same. [If a bisexual would like to add to this, write it on my ask and if it is insightful and awesome, I can add it to this post]

The toolkit just doesn’t matter. It isn’t relevant. 

Example pansexual feelings: For myself, I’ve never really felt attracted to body parts. As in I was never saying:  

WOW this is an attractive foot/arm/boob/penis/vagina. Now I must simply have sex with this person.

I can enjoy physical beauty, but it hasn’t lead me to want to be intimate with them.

The personality, soul, everything in that direction is more important to me than, let’s say, the perfect buttocks. And once I realise how awesome someone is, regardless of what they have as intimate bits, then I probably want to be with them/make love/sing songs to them. 

That said, so far I do notice I find masculine traits attractive. Until I find out otherwise, I guess I am attracted to masculine souls in whichever packaging it comes. Except for Adriana Lima.

Gender just never really mattered :)

Love,

Lisa

P.S. Any questions you would like added to here or answered? Let me know by asking either anon or as self :)

8

This is my sister Sophia. We call her Spohie. These are her beautiful Homestuck cosplays.

My sister is not allowed to cosplay Homestuck anymore. They also think cosplay is not apart of her “true self” and that she has an unhealthy obsession.

She is also pansexual. They believe being gay is a choice and she is choosing to be a separate sexuality besides straight because it is a fad. They also think taking away her “unhealthy obsession” will help her become a better and happier when person, when really now she can’t do what she loves and she feels like she’s being a controlled and now feels worse then what she did before the therapy.

However the rest of the household is going to continue to think that this is helping her. That taking away what she loves to do is making her happy. That forcing her to believe that she isn’t pansexual will make her better. That deciding what she likes and what she can like is the right thing to do.

She is on a leash. It’s unfair. And those cosplays above that she worked so hard on she may never be able to use again as long as she is underage and living under parental guidance. She may never be able to express herself and love another person that doesn’t show that she is 100% straight for another five years.

Please show her some support. She isn’t allowed on the internet and has no cell phone to talk to her friends and can only see her moirail for a short time when she’s on the bus. Maybe she’ll feel better to know folks are on her side and we hope she can express herself while she’s still a kiddo once again.

2

4 in 10 LGBT youth say they live in a community that’s not accepting of LGBT people.

LGBT youth are twice as likely to say that they’ve been bullied at school.

LGBT teens are three times more likely to commit teen suicide.

The number two reason that teens are bullied is because of their actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender expression.

LGBT teens are almost six times more likely to report high levels of depression.

92% of LGBT youth say they hear negative messages about being LGBT. The top sources are school, the Internet, and their peers.

2 in 3 LGBT students reported being sexually harassed in the past year.

The average GPA for students who were frequently harassed because of their sexual orientation was half a grade lower than that of other students.

LGBT youth are five times more likely to miss school because they feel unsafe after being bullied due to their sexual orientation.

On average, an LGBT high school student will hear 26 anti-LGBT slurs per day.

More than 2 in 4 LGBT students have been physically hurt by another student because of their sexual orientation.

To raise awareness to the issues faced by LGBT students, I am refraining from talking for the entire day. Just like many students bullied because of their sexuality, I won’t speak. But my quietness is the loudest scream of all. For every confused stare, another person will learn about problems that they may not have been aware even existed; or didn’t realize they were causing. I am speaking for all the kids who weren’t heard, who were ignored.

I am ending the silence.

Well, I made a gofundme in an attempt to help with my situation because I was encouraged to. And now I’ve also been encouraged to post it. So since I’ve been encouraged to do so, I decided I might as well. 

For those of you who haven’t seen my previous posts floating around, here is a rundown of why I made this. (This is also mostly the description on the gofundme page, with a few edits/tweaks.)

Hello. I am Roman. A 26 year old FtM transgender, who is struggling to be able to afford the basic things needed for my transition. I am currently unable to work due to my current life situation as well as other medical/health issues, (severe anxiety, severe ADHD, PTSD from my life thusfar, immune issues, etc. {{there are more I’ve chosen not to list}}). I was also denied disability multiple times when I applied for it, though I am fighting that decision already, however there is no guarantee that I will ever get it, and I could end up having to go to court for anywhere from a year to three years to try to get what I am owed, and also am unable to even afford healthcare without help. This has left me with no current means of income. I manage to get by and keep my pets fed simply because I am living in my parents house, even though this living environment is highly unhealthy for me. My dysphoria has also been getting much worse by the week, as have my panic and anxiety attacks due to me feeling so uncomfortable in my physical body and the way others view me because of it. My hatred of my voice, and also myself because of it has also been slowly but steadily increasing, which is a terrible thing to me, since I never in my life thought I would ever be able to begin hating myself, however it is starting to become that way. I am even beginning to see more of why so many transgender people who are unable to make their transition end up committing suicide because they end up being so miserable they can’t see the point in living anymore.

I cannot afford new clothes, even though I have literally about 5 shirts and like 3 pairs of pants that I am comfortable wearing. I live on a budget of about $20-30 a MONTH, to cover the cost of food for myself and my pets, and even that amount is unstable and unreliable, and at times I have to make that last for 2 or 3 months instead of one. Otherwise, I mostly live off of leftovers and scraps from my family, other than the times I’m actually able to get proper food, such as ordering pizza since pizza will actually last me several days or a week. My parents idea of enough food for me for the entire day is three small bites of food, while they have entire meals and platefuls of food.

Currently I am attempting to earn enough money to be able to at least start hormones, since beginning my transition would be extremely beneficial and positive to my emotional stability and state of mind, and then hopefully continue them for a long enough period to at least start getting results (over a year at least). The cheapest price for hormones is about $50 per vial for the shots (which is per month), and for the pills, it can get as high as $200 a month. The goal I set is also as high as it is, because it is taking into account future planning for top surgery, and starting to save at least a little for that as well since that can get to be extremely expensive, and for someone who is stuck in the situation I am, that is an almost impossible thing to save up for without help from others. Costs for top surgery can run anywhere from $5,000 to $10,000 or more, depending, plus the cost of hospital bills and aftercare and medical expenses and everything else. It is also to help me to get out of my parents house, since I am stuck here for the same reasons as being unable to get a job, and the emotional (and physical) environment here is extremely abusive and toxic, and has been slowly causing my physical health to decline as well. I have been hit before (across the face and other places), on several occasions, as well as insulted and abused verbally on a daily basis. I also often only eat once a day because of my family situation, and due to the amount of stress I am under causing me to be unable to keep food down a lot of the time. My family is also unsupporting of my being transgender on top of the already unhealthy environment here, and choose to try to undermine it and fight against it as much as possible. However I have nowhere else to go, so I am dealing with it as best I can.



(Note: These photos are somewhat older however this shows the worst it has gotten here physically before, though currently it has gotten to be less as my mother has figured out that she can get in trouble for it and that I am willing to expose her if she continues, though it still happens from time to time. It has gotten much worse however, verbally and emotionally in place of that.)

I usually prefer to do things myself, as I have always tried to be very independent and self reliant so as not to bother others or be a burden, however some things I simply cannot do on my own. So this is why I am asking you all please, to help me with this, as I would like to avoid any further emotional damage to myself over this. Those of you who do choose to help, even $1 is a miracle to me, and know that to each and every one of you who give anything, I can never thank you enough and I will be forever grateful to you. You are making my dream come true, and saving me from all the emotional pain and stress, and quite possibly even saving my life.

And for those of you who find donating by those means difficult, I also have a paypal account for donations as well that you are more than welcome to use instead, simply ask for the email address, or find the button located on my page (The button will be SPECIFIED, since I have another button there as well for an unrelated project, so please pay attention.)

And please please please. Even if you can’t donate at the moment, I am begging you to please signal boost / reblog this, because this is really not a small issue. As much as I appreciate people “liking” the post as well, and the support that shows, it doesn’t help much, so please REBLOG it. I have been left with no other options which is why right now I am literally begging you guys for help. I have great faith in you, tumblr community, so please help me make at least part of my dream come true?


UPDATE (as of 8/12/2014): It has been several months now since I originally posted this, and this is literally as far as I have gotten with this.

Please. I am BEGGING for your help. I am a very very proud person, however I cannot do this without your help. I have no other options, which is why I have turned to you all. Please don’t let me down. I have great faith in you all.

10

I cried with every comment until I threw up.

Some people are fucking disgusting and cruel.

This sickens me. 

What satisfaction do they get from talking this way about homosexuality. Especially when it being about a child.

Being gay is not a disease. Being gay does not make you mental.

They fact that they would find it perfectly okay that some child to die or they would kill them themselves makes them mental. 

Calling Out to the LGBTQ Community!!!!!!

Idk how many people I’ll actually be able to reach on here (since I’m a noob at Tumblr), but if ANYONE, ABSOLUTELY ANYONE who comes across this who is apart of the LGBTQ community or Ally or knows people who are, I have a favor to ask!!!

I’m planning an event for my college that involves the spreading of shoes across campus in the Spring for a week. Each shoe will have a tag on it. On one side it will say, “Be me for a Day.” The other side will have either an anonymous but true experience from someone (these experiences come from people of all races, ages, sexes, orientations, identities etc.) or proven statistic or fact about issues that our community faces. An example for me would be:

"In my shoes as a lesbian, after cutting my hair that was midway down to my chest, to up above my ears, I’ve been misgendered 9 times within the first 2 months after."
-Student

Though I’m going to get help from the organization I’m involved with on campus, Helping Others Promote Equality (HOPE), I think it’d be really cool if I got experiences from other people across the nation and the world from other colleges and universities or anyone who has an experience that might not be heard often.

If you would like to anonymously share an experience with me that has happened to you strictly because of your orientation OR openness as a supporter of gay rights PLEASE don’t be afraid to send me something! It would mean the world to me, and hopefully if I get this event idea approved by the Dean YOUR voice will be heard at my college! BUT if you don’t want to/aren’t sure if you want to contribute REBLOG LIKE IT’S YOUR JOB! I’m a little pebble compared to popular bloggers who are the size of redwood trees, and i’ll need all the help I can get. I so badly want to put on this event, and because i care so much about my fellow gays and supports i’m gonna make this thing BIG. I believe that knowledge is power, and all i want to do is share stories about issues that our society faces. The gay side that is.

How "Sexy Advertising" Works
  • Straight Men:I want to do her (and ergo want the thing she's got by association).
  • Straight Women:I want to be her (and ergo want the thing she's got by association).
  • Lesbians:I want to both be her and do her (and ergo want the thing she's got by association).
  • Asexuals:That hamburger looks really tasty, but shouldn't someone get that poor girl a coat before she freezes to death?

I don’t think I could have fit more blue/pink/yellow in this picture if I tried!

But yes! Happy Pansexual Pride/Awareness Day, everyone! Over the past year, I’ve gotten so much more confident in my sexuality, able to openly express my orientation towards my friends, colleagues, and my mom. While I’m still horrified about the idea of coming out to my dad and the rest of my family, just the fact that I’ve been able to openly talk about this to my mom has been a huge step for me.

I know I can’t offer too much help/feedback, but if anyone has any questions about what it means to be Pansexual (or Demiromantic along with being Pansexual), I would love to field them today!

Have a wonderful and safe day, everyone <3