The Pan-Handler is a superhero who works by night, lurking in the shadows to protect citizens from LGBTQ+ discrimination. Yielding her dual pans as weapons, she uses her super strength and invisible tenancies to destroy anyone who attempts anything against her beloved community.
Me:okay so my sexuality's a complicated deal so let's just call me queer as hell
Friend:nono I wanna know can't you explain it
Me:well ok mainly I am asexual which means I don't want to do the do nor do I long for it, so it has nothing to do with lack of confidence or anything like that, I simply don't find anyone sexually attractive
Me:but I'm also bi romantic. The sexual and romantic attraction are different, and I still fall in love and want to have physical contact with my partner, I just don't need the hanky panky
Friend:right cause you have a girlfriend that's pansexual right
Me:exactly and as long as we're both happy with not doing the rumba naked, that's a valid relationship
Friend:I get it, I get it... I didn't know the entire sexual and romantic orientations were different
Me:yeah I know it was an eyeopener for me when I found ou-
Lady behind us in line:excuse me so sorry but I couldn't help but overhear but I didn't know half of what you just said and I was just wondering what that thing your girlfriend was is, pansexual?
Me:*awkward glance at friend* oh uh I'm not an expert or anything and uh ok so basically it's similar to being bisexual, but there's less value in what gender the one you're attracted to is, at least as I understood it. So a bisexual would be attracted to a person despite their gender, a pansexual wouldn't really care at all in a way uh I'm sorry I'm bad at explaining
Lady behind us in line:that's alright I can look it up myself later you gave me a general idea! So where did you find out these things, you're pretty young?
Me:well, Internet. Once you're a bit confused about what you might be you usually go looking for explanations...
Lady behind us in line:so uh in theory... It's fine if you don't know, I just want to check with you... Is there a thing called aROMANTIC? like you're asexual, is there a equivalent to the romantic orientation you mentioned?
Me:oh yeah, absolutely! You can be both asexual and aromantic, or aromantic and heterosexual, literally all combinations are possible!
Lady behind us in line:*smiles LIKE REALLY GODDAMNED GENUINELY* thank you so much, I did not know that. *fishes up phone from pocket* now if you excuse me, I'm going to call my mother and tell her I'm not crazy for never having been married or stayed with one guy for long despite being 50+ but still has three children! *steps out of line and walks off while dialing*
Friend:wow that was... Amazing
Me:see how happy she got? That's the power of right information.
And that's why I've been smiling since this happened.
Fun fact: you’re allowed to change your mind on how you identify. We are all changing and discovering who we are. Just because you identified as one thing before doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to change your mind as you learn more about yourself.
Since us pansexuals, bisexuals, and asexuals “don’t exist,” we are able to walk through other planes and worlds of non-existence. This is why so very few of us can be found during winter and summer break; we are likely taking summer classes at Hogwarts or vacationing in Isengard-gard-gard.