panic dots

and what they don’t tell you about trauma injuring your brain is that the vein-opening comes so soon. the deliberate bone-breaking comes so quickly. in grade 3 you are learning cursive, only to panic suddenly–colored dots in front of your eyes, sweat snaking down your back and neck, blank spaces, and coming back to earth to find yourself rocking, trembling. for those endless ten minutes, you were not there. you were not 8 years old. you were three again. and now you are different from your classmates and your neighbors. you are “crazy” and have too many band aids on your arms. everyone prides themselves in not talking to you. 

Hiding Out

This is inspired by a prompt from @dailyau :) I’m still new to writing oneshots so let me know what I can work on! ^^

Rated T just in case.

Summary: What starts as a normal day at work turns into an unforgettable day as Natsu is asked to hide a beautiful blonde behind his counter.

His day had begun just as most others. He woke up past his alarm clock, rushed to his Chemistry class to be scolded by his professor, returned home to spar with his best friend, played with his cat, and got ready for work. That was routine for Natsu Dragneel.

Natsu was a junior at Magnolia University, majoring in pyrotechnics. Despite what many thought of him, the boy was far from dumb. Sure, he could be dense about some things, but he aced every Chemistry class he had enrolled in, so clearly, he was above par. Still, his grades weren’t enough to earn him a full-ride scholarship, so working was necessary.

Natsu worked at Mavis Market, a grocery store about a twenty-minute walk away from the university. Sure, working on top of school kept him busy, but it wasn’t too bad. The work was easy and he had friends that worked with him.

The only downside to working at the grocery store were the judgmental customers that came to his register. There wasn’t a day that passed by in which someone didn’t comment on his hair. Not that Natsu could really blame them, however. Pink hair- or salmon, as he liked to call it- was rather unusual for a boy.

Natsu had applied for multiple part-time jobs, but they had all ordered him to dye his hair to either brown or black, to which he refused. While most believed that he had dyed his hair pink- salmon- that was truly not the case. Why would he set himself up for the endless snide remarks from judgmental assholes? His hair was natural and he wasn’t going to change himself for anyone.

Which was why landing a job at Mavis Market was like a gift sent from the heavens. It gave him enough money to pay for rent and the supplies he needed for school. Not to mention his boss was kind and flexible with his schedule.

Natsu walked alongside Gray and Erza, his childhood friends. Gray was the one who had put in a good word to their boss, which ultimately landed him the job. Though he would never say it aloud- simply because he treated Gray more like a rival than a best friend- Natsu was grateful for that.

The three of them were headed for their closing shift. The store closed at ten, which meant that they had to work seven hours, which wasn’t too bad.

“When do you start training for the manager position?” Gray asked Erza.

It was no wonder that Erza was promoted to manager despite only working at the store for only a few months. She was strict, followed the rules, and kept everyone in check all the while being the best at dealing with customers.

“Next week,” the red-headed girl answered. “Mavis is going to have Mira train me.”

Natsu crossed his arms behind his head. “What are you even in charge of? Shifts?” His eyes lit up with mischief as he continued, “Think you can get me Saturdays off?”

“What, so that you can waste the day away playing video games? No. Besides, I’m not in charge of shifts, Mira is. I am only in charge of you idiots.”

When they finally reached the grocery store, the three headed towards the breakroom and stored their things away in their respective lockers. With that, they clocked in for their shifts.

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Finally: The beginning of my Reaper and Wraiths AU. If you want, you can also read it here on AO3.


We know one thing: there are many ways to start a story. 


Gabriel breathes in, and chokes on ash and anger. What’s left of one of his hands is still tangled around a shot gun. He can smell blood and char and something uncomfortably close to cooking meat. Gabriel breathes around his own ribs.

There is some deep, innate knowledge that tells him Jack is long gone, limping away from the scene of the crime. He smells it, tastes it on his tongue, sees it in the little flags of blood and scraps of blue wavering away into the distance. Gabriel gasps, tries to drag himself forwards, fails in the way one does when your torso is in pieces. He breathes around the wreckage and decides that there are worse places to fall asleep. 

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My Own Particular Brand of Phrack Madness: King Memses’ Curse

For: @lunalove-blr, @spitfirealiceagra, @missfisherscupoftea-blog-bl-blog, and all you other wonderful ladies. It’s been a long time? What can you possibly mean? XD

Ew. Ew ew ew. How I imagine I look at the dentists.

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Yes, really! I just moved to Tokyo and I only have part-time work at the moment, which means I don’t have enough money but I do have time to draw! Take advantage of these excruciatingly low prices.


For the sake of simplicity, let’s say I have two styles:

  • Small and cute — Those drawings I do with Raymondo Person, Tobias and Jube, and other, similarly blobby characters that look like they could be on Japanese stationery. These drawings have some form of background or environment, of a Seussian and occasionally surreal, impossiblish nature.
  • Big and stupid  — Just my normal cartoon dudes, like Archie and Mr Die Hard up there. Might be some simple backgrounds in pics like this, depending on the layout etc.

Sizes and Prices

…with notes on what you can reasonably expect/request. In practice there will always be some variation based on artistic decisions.

Prices are in US dollars. Postage is optional. (I will send you the physical artwork if you want it but either way I’ll email you a high-res, cleaned-up scan of the artwork by email. Original artwork makes an especially lovely gift.)

~ Postcards ~

Black and white: $25 | Colour: $38 | Postage: add $5

  • Small and cute — Just one or two characters and a splash of background.
  • Big and stupid  — Probably just enough room for a head- or head-and-shoulders portrait, depending on the character.

~ Small (124 x 174mm) ~

Black and white: $35 | Colour: $55 | Postage: add $10

  • Small and cute — Probably two, three, maybe four characters, with a nice bit of scenery.
  • Big and stupid — One featured character; room for a second, or a bit of background, or both, depending on the layout. Or you could just have a nice big headshot of a single character. If you want a full-body shot of a character at this size, they’re gonna be pretty simplified… unless it’s Papa Smurf or something; he would fit easily at FULL REALISTIC DETAIL LEVEL. (The point is I would recommend something more head-and-shouldersy.)

~ Big (182 x 257mm — Japanese B5) ~

Black and white: $100 | Colour: $200 | Postage: add $20

  • Small and cute — Up to four or five characters if you want ‘em, depending on the scene of course. I would expect to fill in a space this big with a quite lovely and interesting background.
  • Big and stupid — This would be a good size to choose if you wanted a drawing based on a movie or something like that. Easily room for two, maybe up to four characters, depending. You could have a full-body shot of one character; two if they’re the only two characters and you don’t want any sort of background. (That might look a bit flat, but I’d do my best to make it work.)

How to Order

  • If this is a reblog, check the original post first to make sure I haven’t updated it with a big notice saying, “COMMISSIONS ARE OVER!”
  • If there’s something you’re unsure about, message me first. I’ll answer your questions.
  • Email your request and paypal your $$$ to panic [at] chickennation [dot] com. Remember: US dollars, and don’t forget to include postage if you want the physical artwork. If you want the physical artwork, include your full mailing address, not forgetting your state, postcode, and COUNTRY — AMERICANS, I AM TALKING TO YOU. Don’t make me have to google for all the bits you left out. (Oh and your FULL, REAL NAME please; I just remembered I do actually have to say that.)
  • Wait patiently. I’ll send you a photo of the artwork when it’s done, and a high-res scan as soon as I’m able to; same with posting the physical artwork. If you need the artwork by a certain date because it’s a gift, message me before ordering so we can make sure it’s do-able.
  • That’s it. Thanks!

Patrick What Sort of Things Will You Draw

I’m happy to draw my own characters, movie and TV characters or actors, cartoon characters, singers I may or may not have heard of, videogame characters, politicians, directors, artists, you and/or your friend (include photos please) — the usual sort of thing. I can probably draw your original characters but please ask first. Nothing racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise bigoted, obviously. If you’re not sure, ask first.

If you follow my work, or if you follow me on social media, you probably have a decent-ish idea of where my interests lie. Basically, it’s

  • Rad-as-hell pop culture stuff
  • Old shit you kids probably think you’re pretty cool if you’re into
  • Columbo
  • None of that awful nonsense garbage
  • Not Transformers either

BUT WHATEVER MAN, I’ll draw whatever you want. Just be aware it’s gonna be me drawing it. You’re getting a Patrick Alexander artwork, and that is what it is. That’s why you want one.

Just think of a cool thing you like. Now imagine it drawn by me. If that made you go, “Oh, hey YEAH!” then you’re probably onto a winner.

How Detailed Should My Request Be?

Not very.

GOOD: 182x257 size; ‘Big and Stupid’ style; black and white. I love the David Cronenberg movie ‘Scanners’ and I really want a picture of Vale (the main character) looking like a weirdo badass, with Obrist (the heroine) too if possible. Very important is to have Patrick McGoohan’s character included somehow, hovering in the background or whatever. Thanks!

BAD: My favourite is Pissywhee, so could you draw Pissywhee as a human please in a gold bikini but she has three breasts. My arm is around Pissywhee and she’s looking at me lovingly but I’m looking towards the distant Mountains of Gabbagagoon’n (from ep. 245a) and in my other arm is a whip and it should be clear that the whip is for whipping Pissywhee later on in the castle in the distance that should look like a dark version of the Disney castle. Me and Pissywhee are riding an elephant across the famous crossing in Shibuya and all the people are terrified of us, including the terrified face of Megumi Hayashibara (circa 1995) who is on the big TV on the building. She should have a speech bubble saying, “Now that’s-a sexy meat-a-ball!!!” but in Japanese. I’m dressed as Ten (with the long jacket) but I’m also wearing a black English fedora (you know the round ones) as a nod to you-know-who.

I Want Mine Coloured; How Will You Colour It?

Probably with watercolours or alcohol-based (Copic style) markers, but this is entirely my decision.

And Copyright???

I retain copyright of the artwork, but you’ll get a (very) high-resolution digital copy, and the physical artwork if you want it, and you have never-ending permission to use the artwork however you like, so long as it’s for personal use and not for profit.

OK What If I Want a Commission That’s Not Really Covered By Any of the Categories Above, Or For a Commercial Purpose?

Message/email me.

Should I Reblog This Shit?

Yeah, that’d be very nice, thank you.