Timothy Lawrence probably has cryptid status in the Borderlands universe just saying if I was a random Pandoran citizen and I saw someone on a message board going on about they got home one night to find that this guy who looks just like Handsome Jack had broken into their house seemingly just to pet their cats I’d call bullshit is all
I was thinking about how Hyperion would be like if Rhys and Jack managed it together as Co-CEOs. The classic ‘Good Cop/Bad Cop’ seems to fit well with these two corporate jerks.
One of the aspects I enjoy most about Rhys and Jack’s dynamic is that their temperaments are different enough to balance each other but overlap enough for them to collaborate ::::: Rhys is level-headed enough to keep Jack grounded and keep him from making rash/destructive decisions. Jack is a lot more experienced in running a business and I assume he’s quite brilliant at it. There’s a limit to what sheer force can achieve, and waving a gun around alone can’t push a corporation to the top while making the population love/hate him. He’s a man who knows when to use a whip, make bold decisions, and when to use a carrot (he just likes using the whips too much). He can mentor Rhys in those aspects.
So I guess this would be a rough draft of a (canon divergence?) AU where the Vault Hunters and residents in other galaxies refer to them as the “Two-Headed Snake of Hyperion” (idk it’s funny to me)::::: Together, they launch a planet rehabilitation project called “Project Angel” for Pandora, where they combine Jack’s approach of using force to wipe out legit trash bandits and dangerous creatures, and Rhys’ approach of forming a safe community and living environment with more consideration for the rest of the Pandorans.
—edit: I’ve decided to call this a “HyperionSnake!AU”
something quick for @hyperiontrashbin ‘s Pandoran Vault Hunter AU
Jack had just wanted to stop for a quick drink.
He’d tried to cloister himself and Rhys at one end of the counter, away from the main crowd of people sloshing their beer on to the floor and laughing and shouting gruffly at each other. Rhys had already been a little flighty since they had entered the joint, so he’d decided to keep the kid by his side and far away from the rest of the drunks. Of course his little plan had been thwarted by the call of nature, and as soon as he’d re-entered the bar, pulling up his zipper, he’d quickly seen a wasted, burly looking man getting way too far into Rhys’ personal space.
The upset and disgusted little cry that Rhys let out when the bigger man tugged him close had been more than enough to set Jack off.
The bar was now a total wreck, draped in corpses and groaning bodies and littered with blood and bullet holes. The counter was covered in spilled alcohol and shattered glass. Jack mourned the loss of his whiskey, crappy as it was, but looting the pockets of the dead and injured helped his mood.
“Are….are you okay?” Rhys whispers as he approaches Jack, eyes roving over the older man as Jack grabs the wad of cash held in the dead bartender’s fist. Jack licks away the bit of blood on his lips, taking a mental inventory of his own hurts first before placing his hands on Rhys’ hips and tugging him close. He can feel Rhys shivering from the adrenaline, his shirt splattered with the blood of a lucky shot he had got off with his pistol.
“Was just a little scrape, kitten, nothing I haven’t seen before.” He stroked Rhys’ hip underneath his shirt. “How about you? That guy didn’t do anything to you, did he?”
Rhys shook his head, teeth biting into his lower lip.
“Good. ‘Cause no one gets to put their hands on you other than me, got it?” Jack purrs, lifting one hand to tap Rhys on the nose with a wink, making the young man blush underneath the spray of blood on his face
rhys: i was just about to get to my favorite part. you know, where you come in and you ruin my life you no class, scheming, pandoran scum! fiona: nice haircut, you lying hyperion jackass. rhys: it IS a nice haircut!
#15 on the number prompts for @qvoro c; featuring @hyperiontrashbin ‘s Vault Hunter AU
“Sooo, I found this waterfall…”
Jack’s interest had been piqued when Rhys had returned from brief scouting the immediate area they had decided to hunker down in for the evening and told him about what he’d uncovered. Shouldering his shotgun—just in case, the area looked pretty safe and stuffed with potential food sources, but appearances on Pandora were deceiving—he follows Rhys away from their impromptu camp and through a small, rocky little canyon. Jack grunts as he scrambles up the rocks, lagging behind Rhys, whose deft, lithe little body maneuvers easily on the difficult terrain. Oh well. At least it gives him a nice view of the little bit of flesh that peaks out over the band of Rhys’ trousers as the young man pulls himself up over the final boulder and perches atop it, turning to watch Jack with a grin.
“Need a hand, old man?” Rhys snickers, and Jack has half the mind to toss a handful of pebbles at him if it doesn’t mean risking tumbling back to earth on his ass.
“Yeah yeah, shove it, kid. If this isn’t worth it I’m hog-tying you up for the rest of the night.” Jack grumbles, arms stinging as he finally swings his body up on top of the boulder where Rhys is perched. He’s about to lay into the kid again, teach him something about respecting the man who’s saved his ass multiple times, when he notices the sight before him.
A rocky depression smooths out below them, bottoming out in a gorgeous, clear little pool ringed by exotic plants and flowers in pink, orange, and yellow that even Jack, in his long treks around all of Pandora, hasn’t seen before. A waterfall splasehs down into the pool opposite of them, sending up a crystalline mist shimmering with rainbow light.
Some of you may know about the amazing series by @weaver-of-tales, or @a-borderlands-tale, called The Pandoran Saga (by far some of the best Rhyiona fics that there are out there) and if you haven’t read them I highly recommend that you do, but I just wanted to let y’all know that a new Rhyiona fanfic has been started featuring roleswap Rhys and Fiona! If you’re into that sort of thing, which I know all of you are, I think you can expect great things from weaver-of-tales newest fanfic, Pandoran Chaos! Go check it out!
“Come on kiddo! Stay with me!” Handsome Jack will never admit that his voice cracked at that moment as he was trying to keep the other man awake. Red was smeared all over the both of them as the CEO tried to keep Rhys conscious on the battlefield that ended mere minutes ago.
The two men were on Pandora to check on a research team that was doing experiments with Eridium on the Pandoran wildlife. However, barely minutes after they arrived, the labs got attacked by a bandit group. Their member weren’t smart, but they were heavily outnumbered and took the base by surprise. Handsome Jack easily gained the upper hand, tho it took him a lot of energy and concentration to drive the group back.
However, as he was battling the bandit members, one person managed to sneak up to grab him by surprise. What surprised him even more though, was when his companion pushed him out of the way as a grenade exploded on the spot where the CEO stood mere seconds ago. The explosion blinded the man, but at that moment his mind was only focused on the other that pushed him out of the way.
Jack ran towards the spot where the explosion occurred, and when he saw what kind of damage it had done to his companion he didn’t remember anything but seeing red.
After he regained consciousness none of bandit members were alive and bodies littered the battlefield. The CEO stood there in a daze before he realised where he was and what had happened. He scrambled quickly towards the spot where he saw Rhys last and was partly relieved that he was still was where he last saw him.
However, his condition was far from good; his ECHOeye was completely gone and only an empty socket was seen where Rhys’ left eye was supposed to be. His mechanical arm lay in bits next to his body, in too little pieces to be able to put back together and his body was covered in blood. Jack feared the worst for a second, before he saw that his chest was slowing rising up and down.
The CEO quickly scrambled to the lanky man and landed on his knees as he lightly tapped Rhys’ face.
“Come on kiddo! Stay with me!”
Rhys groaned softly and opened his only working eye. As it started to focus on the CEO, it took him a couple of second before a small smile started to appear on his face.
“You’re okay.” He croaked. His voice was weak and hoarse and probably took all of his energy to even stay awake, let alone speak.
“Of course I’m okay, idiot!” Jack growled as he checked Rhys’ wounds “What the hell were you thinking?!” He heard his companion laugh a bit, before he coughed wetly. Blood was coming out of his mouth and Jack was slowly starting to panic more and more about Rhys’ condition.
“Couldn’t have let the CEO of Hyperion die.” he stated, as if it was the most logical thing in the world to say. For Jack it wasn’t. He never remembered someone ever willing to put their life on line without getting anything back in exchange, not like this, not the way Rhys did. He felt his chest getting heavy and his body is starting to shake a bit
He felt a hand touching his cheek and it wasn’t until that moment that Jack realized that he was crying. When was the last time he cried? He thought he heard some voices in the background. Maybe the paramedics? But his focus was on the man that was drowning in his own blood on the sandy floor of Pandora. He didn’t understand. Why…
“Why, Rhys? Why did you do this?”And right then and there Jack didn’t think that his chest could get any heavier, that his breathing could get any more difficult. But all of that is what happened as Rhys gave his definitive answer
For the Drabble thing, how about Jack coming home all bloody and beat up at the end of bl2 and his fight with the vault hunters, Rhys having ordered Hyperion troops to pull him out. Jack refuses to go to the hospital because he's 'fine', and settles with Rhys fussing over him. :3: <3 Fluffy... in a bloody, Hyperion husbands kinda way ^•^
“I want to hear you say it.”
Rhys says, halfway into Jack’s chest, halfway spoken with clarity into the comforting dark of the room, wrapping around both men like a blanket.
Jack stills smells like blood, like the gunpowder of too many near misses, and as much as Rhys would love to scrub every inch of Pandoran dirt and cleanse Jack of his brush with death, what he wants the most right now is to feel Jack solid and warm and safe in his arms. He tips his chin up, eyes glittering with tears waiting to be shed as he looks at Jack’s face.
His mask is off and Rhys can see where the hinges were blown apart by siren fire. Rhys wonders if any of the vault hunters had seen what was underneath, if it had changed any of them the way it had changed Rhys.
The young man’s fingers smooth up Jack’s chest, up the singed vest and tattered yellow sweater, trailing along his thrumming throat before caressing his wearied, scarred cheeks. His thumbs smooth at the corner of Jack’s mouth.
“Say it, please.” His voice wavers a little, and he can feel the way Jack’s lips twitch underneath his fingers.
if prompts r still a thing, maybe some gayperion with a sick rhys idk up to u. thnx in advance if u do write it tho!
This one went longer that 100 words because I didn’t realize it had been three weeks since you asked for this, Anon.
“You’re not dying.” Vaughn sounds entirely unsympathetic to the very real chance that Rhys could pass away at any moment.
“I am.” Rhys glares, although the effect is somewhat ruined by a sneeze.
“You’re not.” Vaughn sits on the edge of the bed where Rhys is balled up miserably. “Look - you think Handsome Jack whines like a little baby when he picks up the Pandoran flu? No; he takes his meds and he powers through it, and that’s what you’re going to do.”
This is a shameless appeal to Rhys’ vanity, and Rhys is irritated that it seems to be working.
“Fine,” he says, and this time when Vaughn offers him a pill and a glass of water he takes it.
“I can’t believe you pulled a ‘What Would Handsome Jack Do’ on me,” he grumbles as Vaughn fluffs the pillows behind him.
“I can’t believe it worked,” Vaughn says, and Rhys can hear the grin in his voice.
“You’re the worst.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Vaughn presses a kiss to Rhys’ temple and Rhys leans into it, closing his eyes. “I’m a real nightmare.”
what she means:
when rhys was first seen in tales from the borderlands, it looks like he was holding a ECHOcomm, which likely means he had a message from someone on there. we know he was looking for fiona because the first thing he did was call her name while trying to find her, and when the stranger appeared, rhys' initial thought was that the stranger was fiona in a radiation suit. the stranger doesn't look anything like fiona in body shape and size, so rhys must have genuinely expected to see her there, and ONLY her. that means he must've thought the message that brought him there was sent by fiona. despite being hopeful when searching for her, with the "we can work this out" comment, hopefully assuming they could set their differences aside and be friends again, his instinctual reaction when he is finally brought to her is to be bitter and spiteful towards her, calling her "no class, scheming, pandoran scum". what did the message say that brought him there to reunite with fiona?? why did rhys' attitude change so much in the short time between finding the stranger (and wanting to "work this out" with fiona) and finding fiona (and basically hating her)?? Help Me
BLSummer bingo! Popsicles where they shouldn’t be, sunburns, and sand in uncomfortable places
Jackothy, T rated <3
Tim wished he could actually enjoy having a rich boyfriend. He’d started from gold digging Jack to actually digging him, realizing he liked Jack’s company and affection outside of his job.
That was the problem- he only wanted Jack outside of work, but work had taken over his life. Jack worked on average 14 hour days and Tim didn’t do much better. Any time at home together they were typically too tired to enjoy each other. Jack sometimes broke down and had late night parties with all sorts of substances to escape the stress, but Tim never went.
He tiredly unlocked the door and walked in at 2 AM after having too much work to do keeping an eye on Helios and Elpis and taking out a would-be assassin. Jack snored loudly on the couch and Tim frowned, feet and body aching and a lump in his throat. “Saved your life,” he muttered, tossing his identical grey jacket on the floor and working on his waistcoat, noticing a bottle of tequila next to Jack and throwing his coat at it. “Can’t even kiss me goodnight.”
Tim knew he had to take action.
The next morning Jack had his persona back on, spinning in his yellow chair with sunglasses on. If Tim didn’t know the glasses were to hide how hungover Jack was, he’d think them stylish. Tim strode in and Jack grinned at him. “Heard you did a pretty nice job last night, killin’ that scav assassin. What was his name, Taser Face? Sounds like if- if fuckin’ bandits were running out of email addresses! Oh no, badassbloodbath is taken, guess I better settle for firstname.lastname@example.org!”
Jack jumped when Tim heavily clanked a bottle of rum on Jack’s desk. “I need a vacation, Jack. We need a vacation. Together.” Tim smiled, just thinking about what he wanted. “You and me, a sunny beach, lots of good drinks- what’s not to like?”