To: @theteenagehorror

From: @joycew-blog

“Come on kiddo! Stay with me!” Handsome Jack will never admit that his voice cracked at that moment as he was trying to keep the other man awake. Red was smeared all over the both of them as the CEO tried to keep Rhys conscious on the battlefield that ended mere minutes ago.

The two men were on Pandora to check on a research team that was doing experiments with Eridium on the Pandoran wildlife. However, barely minutes after they arrived, the labs got attacked by a bandit group. Their member weren’t smart, but they were heavily outnumbered and took the base by surprise. Handsome Jack easily gained the upper hand, tho it took him a lot of energy and concentration to drive the group back.

However, as he was battling the bandit members, one person managed to sneak up to grab him by surprise. What surprised him even more though, was when his companion pushed him out of the way as a grenade exploded on the spot where the CEO stood mere seconds ago. The explosion blinded the man, but at that moment his mind was only focused on the other that pushed him out of the way.


Jack ran towards the spot where the explosion occurred, and when he saw what kind of damage it had done to his companion he didn’t remember anything but seeing red.

After he regained consciousness none of bandit members were alive and bodies littered the battlefield. The CEO stood there in a daze before he realised where he was and what had happened. He scrambled quickly towards the spot where he saw Rhys last and was partly relieved that he was still was where he last saw him.

However, his condition was far from good; his ECHOeye was completely gone and only an empty socket was seen where Rhys’ left eye was supposed to be. His mechanical arm lay in bits next to his body, in too little pieces to be able to put back together and his body was covered in blood. Jack feared the worst for a second, before he saw that his chest was slowing rising up and down.

The CEO quickly scrambled to the lanky man and landed on his knees as he lightly tapped Rhys’ face.

“Come on kiddo! Stay with me!”

Rhys groaned softly and opened his only working eye. As it started to focus on the CEO, it took him a couple of second before a small smile started to appear on his face.

“You’re okay.” He croaked. His voice was weak and hoarse and probably took all of his energy to even stay awake, let alone speak.

“Of course I’m okay, idiot!” Jack growled as he checked Rhys’ wounds “What the hell were you thinking?!” He heard his companion laugh a bit, before he coughed wetly. Blood was coming out of his mouth and Jack was slowly starting to panic more and more about Rhys’ condition.

“Couldn’t have let the CEO of Hyperion die.” he stated, as if it was the most logical thing in the world to say. For Jack it wasn’t. He never remembered someone ever willing to put their life on line without getting anything back in exchange, not like this, not the way Rhys did. He felt his chest getting heavy and his body is starting to shake a bit

“Fucking idiot.”

He felt a hand touching his cheek and it wasn’t until that moment that Jack realized that he was crying. When was the last time he cried? He thought he heard some voices in the background. Maybe the paramedics? But his focus was on the man that was drowning in his own blood on the sandy floor of Pandora. He didn’t understand. Why…

“Why, Rhys? Why did you do this?”And right then and there Jack didn’t think that his chest could get any heavier, that his breathing could get any more difficult. But all of that is what happened as Rhys gave his definitive answer

“It’s because I love you, Jack.”

Regarding the mission to destroy the Eye of Helios:

An important bit of context, because I feel like the only discussion is that Moxxi and the vault hunters betrayed Jack.

Here’s the thing: they had every right to want him dead. It wasn’t arbitrary betrayal. Jack was a threat long before he became CEO.

This is a map of New Haven; the largest allied city in Borderlands and the vault hunters’ home between opening the first vault and the retreat to Sanctuary:

And this is Fyrestone; the first civilized settlement the vault hunters reached on their journey to the original vault.

Note in each instance the town proper, in green, and the bandit encampments, in red.

Jack’s plan, even assuming the purest intentions, is to use the Eye of Helios to annihilate bandit camps on Pandora.

The same weapon Zarpedon is using to destroy the moon.

He fully intends to use a weapon of mass destruction, powerful enough to reduce Elpis to rubble, to eradicate bandits on Pandora.

Consider those maps again.

New Haven is separated from two bandit settlements by a road.

Fyrestone is separated from the nearest bandit colony by a wall.

Throughout the rest of the Borderlands locations, bandit colonies spring up around integral structures and settlements, including trading posts, mines, power plants, sea ports, and sewage-treatment structures.

And Jack intends to raze them all using a weapon powerful enough to destroy a moon.

But he said it could be done with zero friendly casualties…

‘Friendly’ being Hyperion armed forces. Not vault hunters. Not civilians.

Jack is not allied with anyone on Pandora. 

He has, at this point, already used Angel to manipulate the original vault hunters into opening the Destroyer’s vault, with zero regard for their wellbeing. He has already built a weapon of mass destruction. He has already used an eridian artefact to amplify that weapon’s power.

He already intends to use it on Pandora.

Eliminating that threat? Pretty dang justified.

Had waaaaaaay too much fun doing this.. Some Bandit-Tim fanart for pandoran-tales​ bc holy hell I am in LOVE WITH THE DESIGN 
I’m really nervous that I got it all wrong and I’m reAALLY sorry if I did 

pandoran-tales​ owns the Design and the au thing! Only the art belongs to me.
You should totally check them out and stuff like seriously they’re incredible just go right now. Like. Right now.

[Please don’t’ remove the artists comments!]


rhys and fiona + zer0 sum

rhys: i was just about to get to my favorite part. you know, where you come in and you ruin my life you no class, scheming, pandoran scum!
fiona: nice haircut, you lying hyperion jackass.
rhys: it IS a nice haircut!

Boss of the Year

Handsome Jack speaking to Hyperion staff: You all suck and you’re useless.  Therefore I’m outsourcing some of your jobs to the Pandorans. Everyone, meet Captain Flynt.

Captain Flynt: I have no idea how I got roped into this, but I f***ing love it.

Handsome Jack: How could you not love this guy, huh?

Yvette: Well, he’s a bandit for one.

Handsome Jack: Shut up, I make good decisions.  Now, I don’t know who’s bringing lunch tomorrow, so everyone, cover yourself in oil, I’m gonna light this match, and whoever’s the last person to burn wins.

Yvette: Wins what?


(Source: PurpleEyesWTF)


Same heist, same people, same goal, different endings… depending on who’s telling the story.

Whoever’s listening to their tall-tales ends up with a pile of lies, but with a magnificently convoluted and improbable epic.


As a bonus, here’s Vaughn, the voice of cold reason, the one most likely to tell it like it happened, the one stuck with them and enjoying every second of it.

Vaughn: I was there! For the life of me I can’t recall ANY of this!!!

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: when rhys was first seen in tales from the borderlands, it looks like he was holding a ECHOcomm, which likely means he had a message from someone on there. we know he was looking for fiona because the first thing he did was call her name while trying to find her, and when the stranger appeared, rhys' initial thought was that the stranger was fiona in a radiation suit. the stranger doesn't look anything like fiona in body shape and size, so rhys must have genuinely expected to see her there, and ONLY her. that means he must've thought the message that brought him there was sent by fiona. despite being hopeful when searching for her, with the "we can work this out" comment, hopefully assuming they could set their differences aside and be friends again, his instinctual reaction when he is finally brought to her is to be bitter and spiteful towards her, calling her "no class, scheming, pandoran scum". what did the message say that brought him there to reunite with fiona?? why did rhys' attitude change so much in the short time between finding the stranger (and wanting to "work this out" with fiona) and finding fiona (and basically hating her)?? Help Me
fic: combat stats and probability

Pairing/Fandom: Rhys/Sasha, Tales from the Borderlands
Rating/length/genre: PG, ~1.5k, pretty much entirely fluff
Excerpt: “Oh, you know, just… losing my mind and bodily autonomy to a megalomaniac who wants to destroy me and everyone I care about. No biggie.”

Notes: Played this game for the first time this month, loved it, here we are. Never played any of the mothership games, so apologies if something is out of whack, but this is so short and self-contained I doubt it.

Set some sort of indeterminate time after ep 5! Choose your own adventure for how that vault stuff resolved, I guess. Also it’s an established relationship, so choose your own adventure for that, too. Not intentionally based on this adorable fanart by @leafpuppy but I’m sure seeing it played a role in my subconscious crafting this. 

Also on AO3

Pandoran instinct kicking in when she’s jostled awake suddenly, Sasha springs into action. She’s already rolled to the edge of the mattress, her fingertips brushing the gun she keeps under the bed (“What? It helps me sleep.”), before she notices Rhys sitting up in bed, rattled but not panicked, and connects the dots. She leaves the gun where it is and sits up on her knees.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Huh?” From his look of surprise she determines he had forgotten she was there entirely; she lets it slide for now but makes a mental note to rib him for later. “Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Just…”

Anticipating the need for a lot of vocabulary support, Sasha offers, “Bad dream?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

Keep reading


“Sirens of the Deep Pandoran Sea”

I’ve been obsessed with mermaids (and fauns! expect faun stuff soon) lately and I liked the idea of mixing the Borderlands Sirens with the more traditional concept of a siren. Plus new computer! must draw all the things! They’re somewhat loosely based on fish (except Maya, Maya just ended up being sort of more generically mermaid-y). Also mermaids are fun and can be brightly colored and I need that kind of thing at the moment.

In case anyone’s interested in prints (*cough* the holidays are coming up! *cough*), these are available in both my etsy store & on redbubble!



(misc ramblings on these)

Lilith- Loosely based on a goby fish. I kind of went crazy giving her disney-esque mermaid hair. NO REGRETS. 

Maya: Like I said, Maya’s sort of generic-y and probably makes the least fishy sense but whatever, she’s still my fave. :P

Steele: Steele was maybe the most fun? I probably gave her way more braids than she actually has but I don’t care. She’s mostly based on a betta fish though her colors kind of make her look like fancy goldfish or a koi.

Angel: Angel is predictably based on an angelfish (a freshwater zebra angelfish to be precise- the saltwater ones are shaped totally differently). Her position is probably the saddest? But Angel’s kind of a sad character. I figured  that the Handsome Corsair (yeah I’m going to have to draw that too…) would have captured her and chained her to a rock so she’d have to call ships to their DOOOOM.


Sir Hammerlock: Bad news, Vault Hunter. I tried to feed one – I’ve named him Terry – but it turns out he’s acquired a taste for Pandoran flesh! I do hope I haven’t disrupted the delicate ecosystem of Pandora by introducing a new species… Ah, pish-posh! At least they’re tiny buggers!

Fiona: I don’t understand why Sasha gets so excited about celebrating each year. This holiday is such a waste of time… and good money. 

Rhys: it’s a Dahl invention… what do you expect?

Fiona: …. Happy Mercenary Day, you corporate jackass.

Rhys:  … Happy Mercenary Day, you Pandoran scum. 


Happy Mercenary Day set:

space girlfriends || knitted kiss device ||  badassery and books  || it’s a marshmallow world || you mechromanced my heart || snowmaggedon

i think something i find particularly interesting about the borderlands universe is that you could play as pretty much any side, whether it’s a company, vault hunters, even pandoran natives and literally every other side would come off as horrific and violent to you

rhys and vaughn are a great example of this. hyperion is everything to them and everything is great in their company, they don’t really see what’s wrong with it, especially when it comes to pandora. 

that planet is full of bandits and murderers, cannibals, clans that take ‘clan wives’, drunks. and on top of that, the most powerful people down there? an assassin for hire, an 18 year old girl capable of building a death robot that killed another girl her age, a cannibal, a crazed man with a buzzaxe, a powerful siren that murdered her mentor in cold blood and fled, an ex military man who’s done god only knows what in his time but can probably kill you just as quick as talk to you in a thousand and one different ways

no one is a hero in borderlands. you can take literally any side and think it’s just and right because the other side are going to be downright despicable and horrific to you, and that’s what’s so great about this series. i mean, for all the people defending jack, what about the people actively defending vault hunters with their extensive wanted lists and absolute giddyness over going on murderous rampages through bandit camps? no one is a hero, it’s just a lot of different shades of grey