Timothy Lawrence probably has cryptid status in the Borderlands universe just saying if I was a random Pandoran citizen and I saw someone on a message board going on about they got home one night to find that this guy who looks just like Handsome Jack had broken into their house seemingly just to pet their cats I’d call bullshit is all


I was thinking about how Hyperion would be like if Rhys and Jack managed it together as Co-CEOs. The classic ‘Good Cop/Bad Cop’ seems to fit well with these two corporate jerks. 

One of the aspects I enjoy most about Rhys and Jack’s dynamic is that their temperaments are different enough to balance each other but overlap enough for them to collaborate ::::: Rhys is level-headed enough to keep Jack grounded and keep him from making rash/destructive decisions. Jack is a lot more experienced in running a business and I assume he’s quite brilliant at it. There’s a limit to what sheer force can achieve, and waving a gun around alone can’t push a corporation to the top while making the population love/hate him. He’s a man who knows when to use a whip, make bold decisions, and when to use a carrot (he just likes using the whips too much). He can mentor Rhys in those aspects.

So I guess this would be a rough draft of a (canon divergence?) AU where the Vault Hunters and residents in other galaxies refer to them as the “Two-Headed Snake of Hyperion” (idk it’s funny to me)::::: Together, they launch a planet rehabilitation project called “Project Angel” for Pandora, where they combine Jack’s approach of using force to wipe out legit trash bandits and dangerous creatures, and Rhys’ approach of forming a safe community and living environment with more consideration for the rest of the Pandorans.

—edit: I’ve decided to call this a “HyperionSnake!AU”


Same heist, same people, same goal, different endings… depending on who’s telling the story.

Whoever’s listening to their tall-tales ends up with a pile of lies, but with a magnificently convoluted and improbable epic.


As a bonus, here’s Vaughn, the voice of cold reason, the one most likely to tell it like it happened, the one stuck with them and enjoying every second of it.

Vaughn: I was there! For the life of me I can’t recall ANY of this!!!

anonymous asked:

7 for rhack?

something quick for @hyperiontrashbin ‘s Pandoran Vault Hunter AU

Jack had just wanted to stop for a quick drink. 

He’d tried to cloister himself and Rhys at one end of the counter, away from the main crowd of people sloshing their beer on to the floor and laughing and shouting gruffly at each other. Rhys had already been a little flighty since they had entered the joint, so he’d decided to keep the kid by his side and far away from the rest of the drunks. Of course his little plan had been thwarted by the call of nature, and as soon as he’d re-entered the bar, pulling up his zipper, he’d quickly seen a wasted, burly looking man getting way too far into Rhys’ personal space.

The upset and disgusted little cry that Rhys let out when the bigger man tugged him close had been more than enough to set Jack off. 

The bar was now a total wreck, draped in corpses and groaning bodies and littered with blood and bullet holes. The counter was covered in spilled alcohol and shattered glass. Jack mourned the loss of his whiskey, crappy as it was, but looting the pockets of the dead and injured helped his mood. 

“Are….are you okay?” Rhys whispers as he approaches Jack, eyes roving over the older man as Jack grabs the wad of cash held in the dead bartender’s fist. Jack licks away the bit of blood on his lips, taking a mental inventory of his own hurts first before placing his hands on Rhys’ hips and tugging him close. He can feel Rhys shivering from the adrenaline, his shirt splattered with the blood of a lucky shot he had got off with his pistol.

“Was just a little scrape, kitten, nothing I haven’t seen before.” He stroked Rhys’ hip underneath his shirt. “How about you? That guy didn’t do anything to you, did he?”

Rhys shook his head, teeth biting into his lower lip. 

“Good. ‘Cause no one gets to put their hands on you other than me, got it?” Jack purrs, lifting one hand to tap Rhys on the nose with a wink, making the young man blush underneath the spray of blood on his face


rhys and fiona + zer0 sum

rhys: i was just about to get to my favorite part. you know, where you come in and you ruin my life you no class, scheming, pandoran scum!
fiona: nice haircut, you lying hyperion jackass.
rhys: it IS a nice haircut!

#15 on the number prompts for @qvoro c; featuring @hyperiontrashbin ‘s Vault Hunter AU

Sooo, I found this waterfall…”

Jack’s interest had been piqued when Rhys had returned from brief scouting the immediate area they had decided to hunker down in for the evening and told him about what he’d uncovered. Shouldering his shotgun—just in case, the area looked pretty safe and stuffed with potential food sources, but appearances on Pandora were deceiving—he follows Rhys away from their impromptu camp and through a small, rocky little canyon. Jack grunts as he scrambles up the rocks, lagging behind Rhys, whose deft, lithe little body maneuvers easily on the difficult terrain. Oh well. At least it gives him a nice view of the little bit of flesh that peaks out over the band of Rhys’ trousers as the young man pulls himself up over the final boulder and perches atop it, turning to watch Jack with a grin.

“Need a hand, old man?” Rhys snickers, and Jack has half the mind to toss a handful of pebbles at him if it doesn’t mean risking tumbling back to earth on his ass.

“Yeah yeah, shove it, kid. If this isn’t worth it I’m hog-tying you up for the rest of the night.” Jack grumbles, arms stinging as he finally swings his body up on top of the boulder where Rhys is perched. He’s about to lay into the kid again, teach him something about respecting the man who’s saved his ass multiple times, when he notices the sight before him.

A rocky depression smooths out below them, bottoming out in a gorgeous, clear little pool ringed by exotic plants and flowers in pink, orange, and yellow that even Jack, in his long treks around all of Pandora, hasn’t seen before. A waterfall splasehs down into the pool opposite of them, sending up a crystalline mist shimmering with rainbow light.

It looks positively heavenly.

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To: @theteenagehorror

From: @joycew-blog

“Come on kiddo! Stay with me!” Handsome Jack will never admit that his voice cracked at that moment as he was trying to keep the other man awake. Red was smeared all over the both of them as the CEO tried to keep Rhys conscious on the battlefield that ended mere minutes ago.

The two men were on Pandora to check on a research team that was doing experiments with Eridium on the Pandoran wildlife. However, barely minutes after they arrived, the labs got attacked by a bandit group. Their member weren’t smart, but they were heavily outnumbered and took the base by surprise. Handsome Jack easily gained the upper hand, tho it took him a lot of energy and concentration to drive the group back.

However, as he was battling the bandit members, one person managed to sneak up to grab him by surprise. What surprised him even more though, was when his companion pushed him out of the way as a grenade exploded on the spot where the CEO stood mere seconds ago. The explosion blinded the man, but at that moment his mind was only focused on the other that pushed him out of the way.


Jack ran towards the spot where the explosion occurred, and when he saw what kind of damage it had done to his companion he didn’t remember anything but seeing red.

After he regained consciousness none of bandit members were alive and bodies littered the battlefield. The CEO stood there in a daze before he realised where he was and what had happened. He scrambled quickly towards the spot where he saw Rhys last and was partly relieved that he was still was where he last saw him.

However, his condition was far from good; his ECHOeye was completely gone and only an empty socket was seen where Rhys’ left eye was supposed to be. His mechanical arm lay in bits next to his body, in too little pieces to be able to put back together and his body was covered in blood. Jack feared the worst for a second, before he saw that his chest was slowing rising up and down.

The CEO quickly scrambled to the lanky man and landed on his knees as he lightly tapped Rhys’ face.

“Come on kiddo! Stay with me!”

Rhys groaned softly and opened his only working eye. As it started to focus on the CEO, it took him a couple of second before a small smile started to appear on his face.

“You’re okay.” He croaked. His voice was weak and hoarse and probably took all of his energy to even stay awake, let alone speak.

“Of course I’m okay, idiot!” Jack growled as he checked Rhys’ wounds “What the hell were you thinking?!” He heard his companion laugh a bit, before he coughed wetly. Blood was coming out of his mouth and Jack was slowly starting to panic more and more about Rhys’ condition.

“Couldn’t have let the CEO of Hyperion die.” he stated, as if it was the most logical thing in the world to say. For Jack it wasn’t. He never remembered someone ever willing to put their life on line without getting anything back in exchange, not like this, not the way Rhys did. He felt his chest getting heavy and his body is starting to shake a bit

“Fucking idiot.”

He felt a hand touching his cheek and it wasn’t until that moment that Jack realized that he was crying. When was the last time he cried? He thought he heard some voices in the background. Maybe the paramedics? But his focus was on the man that was drowning in his own blood on the sandy floor of Pandora. He didn’t understand. Why…

“Why, Rhys? Why did you do this?”And right then and there Jack didn’t think that his chest could get any heavier, that his breathing could get any more difficult. But all of that is what happened as Rhys gave his definitive answer

“It’s because I love you, Jack.”

ledgem  asked:

#2 'moving around while kissing, stumbling over things, pushing each other back against the wall/onto the bed' for our fav chopsticks-couple Zer0/Rhys, pls :3

trying to figure out how to get zer0 to kiss without having rhys do this or zer0 take off their mask was…a Trip. i hope this handwaved version is acceptable :~)

zer0/rhys, mild sexual content (nothing explicit), bad haikus, probably bad alien science, and inappropriate usage of the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  face

(for this prompt meme)

It’s been exactly four weeks, six days, and two hours since Zer0 left for their mission. Rhys would count the minutes and seconds down as well, but he feels like that might be a little obsessive. So instead, he keeps track of the hours, and only checks his personal inbox four times a day.

Okay, more like every hour he’s awake.

When he wakes up on the seventh day of the fourth week, his inbox is empty except for a link to a compilation of cute skag videos from Vaughn. Rhys watches it over breakfast (coffee, black. Eggs, only slightly burnt) and sends back an appropriately emoji-filled reply. The thumbs up and smiley that he gets back from Vaughn doesn’t need a response, so he tabs back towards the inbox, where there’s a new message from Zer0 waiting for him.

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anonymous asked:

How would a Paladin react to the Borderlands Vault Hunters (Roland, Lilith, Brick, Mordecai, Axton, Maya, Salvador, Zer0, Kreig, and Gaige)?

Tarek’s notes on the so called Vault Hunters encountered on the planet Pandora

Vault Hunter’s in general: Dangerous chaotic treasure seekers. But, they don’t target civilians, and the universally inhospitable location they find themselves in (bandits, cannibals, bandit cannibals, giant monsters, genocidal corporate overlords, giant monsters serving the will of genocidal corporate overlords, and Claptrap) becomes somewhat more hospitable due to their efforts rather than contrary to it. I have met several notable individuals claiming the Vault Hunter title, all in one skilled in their respective field.

Roland: Stable, natural leader, experienced vet. I can see why many of his fellows gravitate around him, and can carry a conversation without difficulty. He’s clearly gone native without regrets though, and given what I hear about Atlas corporation, I can hardly blame him.

Lilith: Where Roland is Order, the Siren is Chaos. Not to say she’s mad, at least compared to many of her contemporaries, but her approach is clearly less disciplined than Roland’s. Fire is naturally her element, and I fear one day she’ll burn herself out. I wonder if her nature as a Siren marks her as some kind of Favored Soul, and if so, who is the one doing the choosing? Note: Shares  a leadership position with Roland, and despite some friction, they seem stable.

Brick: An impressive warrior, and I doubt I could defeat him in a contest of strength or hand to hand. Intelligent, and has a friendly nature under the rough exterior. Clearly revels in contests of strength or battle, but can exhibit other interests as well.

Mordecai: Seems overly lethargic to me, but I’m told he’s an excellent sharpshooter. Seems to only rouse for alcohol and his companion, an avian named Bloodwing. I suspect he would be better off retiring from Vault Hunting, but also that he wouldn’t know how to do anything else.

Axton: I swear, there’s one of these in every armed force I’ve ever served with. Axton seems disciplined, but always errs on the side of whatever mad notion occurs to him in the moment. Good to fight alongside, but do not let him plan the operations.

Maya: From what I understand, Maya was raised to be a holy warrior and/or goddess in service to a religion who considered her nature as a Siren a mark of divinity. They trained her so well that she killed their leader when it turned out he was tyrant planning on using her as an enforcer. As a result she’s understandably disillusioned about someone like myself and is hesitant to trust me. I hope my sincerity comes across, since she seems of noble intent and has an interesting quest to discover the nature of Sirens, which I can’t help but be interested in myself. Note: Among the “second generation” vault hunters, she seems to be their de facto leader.

Salvador: Unlike the others, Salvador is a Pandoran Native. There is something of a cultural gap in talking with him, but he seems earnest enough, and I find him sympathetic enough. Doesn’t seem prone to deep contemplation, and is rather blase for my tastes, but his enthusiasm is infectious and I don’t believe he’d ever think of betraying his companions.

Zer0: Mysterious warrior of uncertain nature. Prone to speaking in poetry, impressive swordsman. I am uncertain if he’s some kind of machine or nonhuman, as he notably has only 4 fingers on each hand. I sense he’d be interesting to talk to, but is never one to stay in one spot for long. Said to be an assassin, but has no obvious political affiliation. Indeed, his primary motivation seems to be finding greater challenges for the sake of proving his skill alone.

Krieg: A barbarian warrior clearly affected by his time on this mad world. Much of his speach come across as word salad, so communication can be difficult. There is understanding in his gaze, and insanely violent as he is, there is a controlled decision making process and strategy in battle. And wild as he is, it never spreads to his allies. Despite his bloodlust, I sense no presence of actual evil.

Gaige: I was dismayed to see a teenager fighting alongside these hardened killers, but Gaige seems to have that stable brand of madness shared by many of the Vault Hunters and a genius that is inspired and lethal. She seems to revel in deliberate anarchy with no intention of slowing down. Also prone to making friends, and writes daily notes to her father who she speaks of very warmly.

peanutbutter-kitz  asked:

For the Drabble thing, how about Jack coming home all bloody and beat up at the end of bl2 and his fight with the vault hunters, Rhys having ordered Hyperion troops to pull him out. Jack refuses to go to the hospital because he's 'fine', and settles with Rhys fussing over him. :3: <3 Fluffy... in a bloody, Hyperion husbands kinda way ^•^

“I want to hear you say it.” 

Rhys says, halfway into Jack’s chest, halfway spoken with clarity into the comforting dark of the room, wrapping around both men like a blanket. 

Jack stills smells like blood, like the gunpowder of too many near misses, and as much as Rhys would love to scrub every inch of Pandoran dirt and cleanse Jack of his brush with death, what he wants the most right now is to feel Jack solid and warm and safe in his arms. He tips his chin up, eyes glittering with tears waiting to be shed as he looks at Jack’s face. 

His mask is off and Rhys can see where the hinges were blown apart by siren fire. Rhys wonders if any of the vault hunters had seen what was underneath, if it had changed any of them the way it had changed Rhys. 

The young man’s fingers smooth up Jack’s chest, up the singed vest and tattered yellow sweater, trailing along his thrumming throat before caressing his wearied, scarred cheeks. His thumbs smooth at the corner of Jack’s mouth. 

“Say it, please.” His voice wavers a little, and he can feel the way Jack’s lips twitch underneath his fingers. 

“I’m sorry, pumpkin.”

Had waaaaaaay too much fun doing this.. Some Bandit-Tim fanart for pandoran-tales​ bc holy hell I am in LOVE WITH THE DESIGN 
I’m really nervous that I got it all wrong and I’m reAALLY sorry if I did 

pandoran-tales​ owns the Design and the au thing! Only the art belongs to me.
You should totally check them out and stuff like seriously they’re incredible just go right now. Like. Right now.

[Please don’t’ remove the artists comments!]

anonymous asked:

if prompts r still a thing, maybe some gayperion with a sick rhys idk up to u. thnx in advance if u do write it tho!

This one went longer that 100 words because I didn’t realize it had been three weeks since you asked for this, Anon.

“I’m dying.”

“You’re not dying.” Vaughn sounds entirely unsympathetic to the very real chance that Rhys could pass away at any moment.

“I am.” Rhys glares, although the effect is somewhat ruined by a sneeze.

“You’re not.” Vaughn sits on the edge of the bed where Rhys is balled up miserably. “Look - you think Handsome Jack whines like a little baby when he picks up the Pandoran flu? No; he takes his meds and he powers through it, and that’s what you’re going to do.”

This is a shameless appeal to Rhys’ vanity, and Rhys is irritated that it seems to be working.

Fine,” he says, and this time when Vaughn offers him a pill and a glass of water he takes it.

“I can’t believe you pulled a ‘What Would Handsome Jack Do’ on me,” he grumbles as Vaughn fluffs the pillows behind him.

“I can’t believe it worked,” Vaughn says, and Rhys can hear the grin in his voice.

“You’re the worst.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Vaughn presses a kiss to Rhys’ temple and Rhys leans into it, closing his eyes. “I’m a real nightmare.”

Retrograde - Part 6

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

[thank u all for interacting, i rly appreciate it!]

Jack had never met Sasha before, but he already knew he hated her. He’d only seen her in one of Rhys’ old photos that he took out when he was feeling nostalgic, although Jack knew that he kept it in the nightstand drawer on his side of the bed.

Sometimes, when Rhys wasn’t home, Jack would carefully take it out and look at it. Although he’d never say it to Rhys, he loved the goofy smile that he wore on his face in the photograph. It was the same one he wore whenever Jack cracked a stupid joke or said he loved him, but it looked different on his younger features. He had to have been no older than 17 when the photo was taken, sprawled out on a couch with his friends. One of them, a girl in a weird hat whose paleness nearly rivaled Rhys’, had her arms folded in mock annoyance. The blonde next to her, whom Jack recognized as Athena’s girlfriend Janey, was cracking a wide grin that showed off her braces. A Hispanic-looking kid could be seen lurking in the background, a bandana holding his ponytailed hair from his face and thick goggles hanging around his neck. He appeared to be laughing at what someone had said off camera. Jack wished he could ask Rhys what had been so funny– he knew that Rhys still remembered– but Rhys wasn’t particularly fond of talking about his life on Pandora, and Jack didn’t want to push him.

And then there was Sasha, whose mere presence pissed him off. She was on the couch next to Rhys, snuggled against his side. He had his right arm wrapped around her shoulders– his real arm, not the cybernetic one he had now– and Jack felt a twinge of jealousy. When was the last time Rhys had held him like that? He ached to be near him, to lean against his chest, to breathe in the sweet smell of his skin. After the fight, it was like he’d forgotten how to live on his own. He made a mental note to work in some extra cuddle time when this whole ordeal was over. But first, he thought grimly to himself, he needed Sasha’s help.

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