hey guys fyi that post about the ages of the firstgen is wrong

i think op got them from the info promo sheets released for bl2, and those contained the “current locations” of the firstgen as we meet them in the second game, so that makes their ages the same as during the second storyline


  • roland: 29
  • mordecai: 34
  • lilith: 22
  • brick: 31

borderlands 2:

  • roland: 34
  • mordecai: 39
  • lilith: 27
  • brick: 36

sybilreiszs  asked:

uhm idk what u ship in dishonored but some mutation of corvo/daud/outsider? also roland/lilith i don't think we talk enough about that depressing couple

“some mutation” by which you mean dubcon tentacle threesomes right


  • what was their first kiss like: bloodshed. and i’m barely being metaphorical. daud didn’t even realize he was being kissed until after the fact, and he thinks corvo didn’t know, either. it was more a snarl than anything, like having the end of your sentence bitten off by an angry dog, and daud did what came naturally - fought back. they never reached for their swords but daud left bruises on corvo’s neck and marks from corvo’s fingernails trailed their way past daud’s hairline. IMPORTANT: they did not fuck. not yet. when corvo closes his eyes, the outsider’s brows are a little too tight, the air behind him writhing a little too quickly. when daud closes his eyes, the outsider hisses and is gone.
  • i assume this one is what were they like the first time having sex:more fighting. it’s the natural progression of things, really. a few things are different: less taunting, more glaring, a succession of very hungry kisses. daud takes his gloves off. corvo still aims for the soft part of his neck but watches how heavy he is with his hands. the air thickens and snaps when they come, echoing a burning from their twin marks, and they very studiously do not sleep that night.
  • who’s louder: daud, but only just - daud talks more, but corvo makes noise. he’s very receptive, which daud finds unnerving, considering that he’s never been able to disassociate “corvo” from “the masked felon”. the first time he found him was as death and that’s who he hears him as still, moaning into his neck. (of course, you shouldn’t be fucking him in the first place, the outsider says derisively, but then, you can’t win them all, can you, daud? how do you think this one’s going to gut you?)
  • who wakes up first: they’re both very punctual, and neither are very fond of sleep.
  • who performs/recives oral more often: corvo is the first to, but let’s say daud has a talent for it. it gives him a different kind of power, and even though his days of cutthroat ambition are behind him, it’s still nice to see people writhe. and, of course, the outsider never lets him forget that his new favorite place is on his knees.
  • who tries new things more often: corvo would, if they were fond of fucking in any semblance of an orderly fashion. as it is, it’s mostly what they grab between bouts of trying to kill each other. no time for fanciness.
  • if they had to choose a third+ person to include who would they include: hahahha. haha. hah. “choose”. the outsider is in every breath they take regardless of who they’re with, but when they’re in each other’s company his presence is multiplied indefinitely. they make the mistake of falling asleep next to each other one night and they wake up in the void, crude mockery of the room they fucked in falling away from them on either side, and the outsider clicks his tongue, bares his many teeth, says what are you waiting for


  • what was their first kiss like: i don’t want to say it’s exactly like the borderlands comic says but i also don’t think that’s far off? lilith instigates it because she’s bored and reckless and curious and then laughs it off, while roland blinks and is generally confused and also thinks that he wants her to do it again. as a coNTRAST their second kiss ie. the one that started their relationship proper was all roland, and he had to duck down to kiss her and she could barely stop smiling enough to kiss him back
  • what were they like the first time having sex: REALLY HORRENDOUSLY AWKWARD lilith cursed a lot and at one point roland actually apologized after which lilith smacked him on the head and then kissed him again. neither of them cared too much though because the second time was fantastic. and so was the third. and the fourth. and the fifth
  • who’s louder: lilith, and though generally she keeps a reasonable volume she has, on occasion, turned it up to porn star scream mode in order to freak the fuck out of mordecai, at which roland unsuccessfully muffles his laughs
  • who wakes up first: roland, of course, to lilith’s eternal chagrin. the raiders aren’t gonna run themselves, y’know!
  • who performs/receives oral more often: rolandrolandrolandroland and he is FANTASTIC at it and lilith MOURNS not having someone besides moxxi to brag to because EVERYONE MUST KNOW ABOUT THE THINGS THIS MAN CAN DO WITH HIS TONGUE and so brick and mordecai end up learning more than they ever want to about how roland gives head
  • who tries new things more often: lilith. roland’s not a conservative partner by any means but he really just wants to do what makes her happy, and she’s got a LOT of ideas.
  • if they had to choose a third+ person to include who would they include: i could get creative with this but they would never want to share a bed with anyone but mordecai or brick, their intimacy is on an entirely different level.

i’m gonna be honest and say that borderlands is probably my favorite fandom i’ve ever been in just because it’s really level-headed and there’s very little wank and besides some minor things (ahem kawaii white boy zer0 headcanons) i feel like we’re all on the same wavelength and at the end of the day we’re all here to make things explode in the most creative ways possible so!!!! basically let me love on y'all

debating the necessity of angel’s death from a writing standpoint is a whole ‘nother can of worms and needs to be done but people keep treating it like “oh, how sad, she died and jack mourned and most slash all of us came out of where angels fear to tread sobbing like children, alright, now let’s continue to glorify jack’s sadness over her death instead of confronting the fact that he was an abusive shitstain who canonically uses his daughter’s suicide-by-vault-hunter to further his own ends” like alright you do you but don’t pretend you give half a fuck about anyone but jack’s gross ass

okay so headcanon angel speaks to all of the vh’s differently, like for the firstgen she talked to brick a LOT because he was the least skeptical but it took a while for her to talk to the others because roland was having trouble compartmentalizing it and mordecai kept thinking he was hallucinating her and talking to lilith felt like a live wire, put her on edge

and it’s the same with the nextgen (she’ll talk to axton/sal/gaige but again, talking to sirens scares her, and when she reaches out to zer0 she has to fight through walls)

but she refuses to talk to krieg

flat-out doesn’t do it
fic: most presumptuous of men

borderlands, 1200 words, featuring my ridiculous handsome jack feelings and his grandmother as the prophet of pandora. (tw: implied child abuse)

His grandmother is small and frail and threatening, skin as leathery as the ground beneath her feet, waiting for John before he even makes it known that he’s on her planet. She wages a one-woman vendetta against the earth, the sky, the volcano framing her back door, and John himself; and under her vicious hands he thrives.

headcanon axton would tease roland all the time because everyone at dahl thinks the lance are a bunch of stuck-up assholes

roland just laughs because dahl’s teams got SLAUGHTERED when they first came to pandora and they had to develop an entirely new training program to even get recruits that could stay on the ground