palm grease


Born on this day: April 12, 1940 - Jazz musician and composer Herbie Hancock (born Herbert Jeffrey Hancock in Chicago, IL). Happy 77th Birthday, Herbie!!

rickmorty fic rec list

hey! here it is! that fic rec list i said i was gonna do for 200 followers, and yet here i am…at 473 followers HAHAHAHA just a liiitle late there – seriously tho, thank you all! this is such a chill and supportive community~

just a couple notes on the list: i decided to narrow it down to 30, which made things more difficult than i expected(there’s just soo many good ones, guys!); i didn’t want to include more than two fics from a single writer; i included series, but only if the stories were interconnected; for a couple of the series that didn’t have overall summaries i just used the summary from the first fic in the series, and one fic didn’t have a description at all, so i ended up using the first sentence, since it seemed to fit; these are in completely random order.

some of these are obvious picks (basically classics), but hopefully you’ll find something new or interesting! i absolutely love every one of these! thank you to all the writers for being so amazing, and bringing me so much joy (and tears) with these fics!!

Whiskey And Water by firstbornking


1. desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others.
2. yearn to possess or have.

In which Rick and Morty get separated on the Citadel, Rick’s patience is tried and Morty suffers the consequences of his own poor judgement.

Just a Palmful of Elbow Grease by lemonsweet

Morty encounters some difficulties while attempting to smuggle some inter-dimensional contraband for his grandfather.

It occurrs to Rick that Morty is taking an awfully long time in the bathroom.

Honey And Vinegar by firstbornking


1. handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner.
2. control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously.

In which Rick and Morty take another spin on the cycle of abuse, Rick is shameless and Morty is broken down one ‘I love you’ at a time.

When the Night is Long by Breadalby

Morty has nightmares and coping issues. Rick mocks and subsequently consoles him the only way he knows how.

It Cages a Demon by TripleX_Tyrant

When Rick captures a powerful being from a demonic dimension - a demon with the ability to devour thoughts - Morty’s consciousness is pulled into the demon’s cage. Rick must go in after him before Morty’s consciousness is completely consumed. But this isn’t what the inside of the cage should look like. And if Rick wants to save Morty, he’ll have to survive in a place where paths are unclear and monsters manifest.

Rick knew his own mind was complex. But he wasn’t ready for this.

Frick the Rick by mariachiMushroom

Rick realizes he and Morty are in a fanfic, and the only way to finish the story is to have sex.

Miami Rick and Morty by AndersAndrew and futagogo

That night, they’d narrowly escaped a mob of pissed-off mafiosos that Rick owed money.
Morty laid his head on the old man’s thigh as they drove, enjoying the quiet and the feel of Rick’s delicate fingers through his bleach-blond hair.

“With this much cash, the universe is our oyster, MoOURGHty!” Rick exclaimed.

“I just want to dance.”

Morty’s Are Only A Reflection Of Their Ricks by KallikRose

“This Morty has seen everything… but has yet to feel the warmth of a loving touch.”

Three eye Morty has been through hell. After his parents divorce, Summer running away and Rick dying of a heart attack, Morty takes Ricks portal gun and goes on the run. He becomes a hitman on an alien planet just to get by. But what happens when years later he’s offered a ton of money to kill a Rick that he eventually falls for?

The Citadel of Lost Children by futagogo

The origin story of The One True Morty.

Rick and Morty Get Real by JenKristo

Right before leaving for college, Morty confesses that he’s attracted to Rick, and Rick turns him down flat. Only, Rick can’t stop thinking about it. They both look for answers through interdimensional travel, alcohol and experimentation. Plus, with Morty returning home for Thanksgiving break, they’re going to have to face each other.

Slow Dancing on Hot Coals by rickandmortygetschwifty

Rick and Morty have a serious disagreement about the state of their relationship.

Fethishizing the Extraordinary by berlitzschen

In a panel, Justin Roiland said that Beth “fetishizes the extraordinary” and said something else to the effect that Beth wants Morty to be extraordinary like her father, and values it above anything else. This, coupled with wives commonly responding with tolerance and forgiveness when they find out their spouses molested their child, made me think Beth might not actually throw Rick out if she were to discover them.

So here’s a fic about all the fucked up shit that implies, undercutting an otherwise fairly senseless story about Rick and Morty’s relationship.

Death shall have no dominion by too_much_pressure_for_a_username

“You d-don’t have a clue w-what love is, Morty,” Rick tells him. “You’re not c-capable of loving anything b-besides yourself and, and your c-creepy little stuffed animals.”
There’s something about the way Rick says this, something hollow and dead that tells him Rick isn’t lying or trying to get back at him for lashing out. The wild anger has dissipated. And if Rick isn’t saying this because he’s mad at Morty…
…Then he’s saying it because he really believes it.

college morty by dadvans

Morty hasn’t seen Rick in three years. Rick needs Morty’s fingerprints. Rick always needs more than he asks for.

All Yours by a_side_of_sin

From day one, Rick had always been blindingly clear on the nature of their relationship.

Feel You In My Bones by E707

There would have been nothing unusual about the dreams at all, really, if Morty hadn’t woken after each and every one with a fierce and unrelenting erection.

life is sweeter when it’s wrapped in debauchery by gaily-daily

C-622 Morty runs through the wrong portal, and because the universe loves dramatic irony, he ends up in a college dorm room where Rick and Stanford are roommates. Unfortunately (or fortunately??) Rick takes a liking to him.

Morty’s Ricksicion by Dapperstiel and Pretty_Princess_Sheep

Overly intoxicated, Rick comes onto Morty, leaving the two at odds. Unknown to Morty, his decision on how to deal with Rick will drastically alter the future, creating two alternate realities, and two possible endings.

RickMorty TrashPile by trashfreak

Rick gets what he wants. Morty learns to like giving it to him.

a whole world in here by laskofresho

“I’m lonely, Rick,” he mumbled.

“It’s a pretty big, lonely existence out there, Morty.”

Another You by The-Clairvoyant-Rick

Morty shifted nervously, unable to meet the eyes of the man who looked so much like his grandfather, “W-what can I-I-I get for $85?” Morty pulled a wad of crumpled bills from his jeans, trembling from the adrenaline of what he was asking.

A tell-tale grin curved the blue haired man’s lips into a predatory smirk before he leaned down, smoothly pocketing the bills, his breath tickling the shell of Morty’s ear, “48 minutes of whatever the fuck you want.”

The Great Rick-xup by mariachiMushroom

During a routine “resource acquisition” mission, C-136 Rick gets his Morty switched with B-290 Rick’s Morty. The B-290 Rick and Morty just so happen to be in a sexual relationship. Hilarity ensues.

You Know Where To Find Me by The-Clairvoyant-Rick

As much of an asshole as Rick was, as manipulative and cruel and downright hurtful as the man could be, especially to him, Rick wasn’t a rapist, and he never had been. If Morty said stop, if he told Rick to stop touching him and to get off, he knew his grandpa would listen. He knew Rick would walk away from him. And that’s precisely why he’d never say it. No matter how much it hurt, no matter how badly Morty wanted to shove him away and tell Rick to fuck off, he couldn’t. Because if he did, the older man would listen, and that’d be the end.

Sticks and Stones by JenKristo

Evil Morty has experienced a lifetime of suffering under the hands of Ricks. But when he’s assigned to a pure and gentle ‘Doofus’ Rick, he begins to question his purpose in life.

Baby, I’m Yours by sinbiscuit

Morty discovers the power of language. Specifically, one little word.

The Universe’s Lullaby by ferretpaws

It’s the universe’s lullaby and he drowns in it.

Dazed and Rickfused by KousKousx

He had kissed Rick–he just had to fucking kiss him, out of whatever desperation that was suffocating him–and he was afraid things would never be the same.

Fads by KousKousx

Even with the divide, all Rick’s of differing opinions and decrees agreed on one thing: what a Rick did with his Morty was that Rick’s business, and that Rick’s business alone.

The Device by simplescribe

Rick stood swaying slightly in the doorway to Morty’s room, silhouetted by the hallway light behind him, a gaunt looming figure framed by the door. He blinked blearily, colours and shapes fuzzing and blending together, reaching a hand out to steady himself on the doorframe. His heart was thudding in his chest, and he reached instinctively for his flask even though he really didn’t need it. A quick shake revealed it was empty anyway. Of course it was.

Devour by cakeboobs

Rick and Morty AU - Dimension F-212 : Rick is a world-famous chef, owning his own exclusive restaurant and widely known for some of the best food in the galaxy. Morty is a young, talented, prodigy chef, making food that is so delectable it inspires powerful emotions in those who consume it. Rick takes Morty under his wing as his apprentice, and between crazy ingredient-hunting adventures, and long, hot days in the restaurant kitchen, Morty develops a crush on his selfish, chain-smoking, gorgeous chef grandfather.

BONUS(this one isn’t actually a rickmorty fic so it’s not cheating lol):

A little problem by 5bluetriangles

Morty has trouble with waking up in the middle of night needing to pee and not making it to the bathroom. Rick has a plan to help him that Morty was not expecting.


Herbie Hancock - Palm Grease

wild blood



Four letters, three words, two boys, one heart—no limits. It’s always been more than that, anyway.

a/n: an ‘i love you’ fic without using the word ‘love’ cos i’m on that laME and cheEsY good shit

“What are you doing?” Bakugou huffs without fight and closes his eyes, reaching up to grip Kirishima’s solid forearm.

“Just making sure you’re still here,” Kirishima says quietly and brushes his nose against Bakugou’s, a small nudge to reaffirm his words.

Hands stained grey from car grease, Bakugou’s palms against the skin of his arm are rough, the kind of distinct texture that could only be hardened from years of working in a garage. Seeing to car parts day in and day out, spending more time under the hood of a car than most did behind the wheel. Kirishima remembers the first time he’d brought his car for a check up, Bakugou in his black tank top with grease smudged across his cheek and in his hair, swiping his nose with a gloved hand and sneering, “You fucking race with that rubber?”

Looking back at it now, Kirishima would have never guessed they’d end up like this.

Read more

[[Because this apparently needs to be said.]]

[[No amount of money can make Yondu break the Ravager code.]]

[[Yes, he broke the code when he smuggled those kids to Ego. The money certainly helped grease his palms, and he even acknowledges that in the movie. However, the money wasn’t the only factor.]]

[[Yondu was told the kids would be safe; they were going to their father. Presumably the mothers were dead, much like Peter’s mom. He didn’t probe any deeper than what Ego told him, and he should have. Hell, he shouldn’t have broken the code in the first place - he still can’t fully regret his actions, however, as they led to him finding Peter. And while the circumstances are regrettable, nothing about Peter’s presence in his life is.]]

[[So no, Yondu didn’t abduct your OC from wherever and sell them into slavery or to the Collector. Especially if they were a child. He can be paid into smuggling people- fuck I’mma just copy paste, since I’ve already been over this part. -

[[Yondu does not and has never sold anyone into slavery. He’s been there, and he refuses to do so. Clients that were foolish enough to try to get him to smuggle or transport slaves would pay high premiums up front, only to have the slaves freed once they were on board the Eclector. Some possibly joining the Udonta Ravager Clan.

[[Yondu DOES deal in refugees and such however; he charges high premiums to smuggle people out of wartorn areas and into safer ones. What? He ain’t no fuckin’ saint. Man’s gotta eat.]]

[[You want to play that kind of plotline, that’s fine! There’s a bunch of other Yondus running around. The Blue Crew is fairly sizeable. Do not try to force this HC on my Yondu. You’ll get one warning then get blocked.]]

[[Yondu broke the Ravager Code once in his dealings with Ego. It never happened before, and it never will again. He doesn’t even play fast and loose with it anymore, not since Ego. The code is everything to Yondu, it’s all he has. He broke it once, got burned and lost everything.]]

anonymous asked:

I have a question that is not exactly about this blog theme, but I wanted your opinion, as you have the best HP headcanon blog. I read lots of fanfics in which the wizarding world is extremely misoginistic. And I heartly disagree with this vision. We saw evidence of woman in powerful positions all along the story, woman competing in equal foot with men in sports... What is your opinion?

Oh my god, thank you. I don’t know that I’m the best blog - for me that place is tied between @livesandliesofwizards​ which first introduced me to the very concept of HP headcanon blogs and @thepostmodernpottercompendium​ which introduced me to just how extensive they can get as well as to criticality - but to know you think that is incredibly flattering.

Anyway, to your question - So this is actually a really great time to ask me this because I may or may not have spent a hefty chunk of last night filling eight pages of my new notebook with topics in HP Canon, Fandom, Fanfic and Fanon which anger me deeply that, at some point, I’m going to write metas on and have a blog dedicated to (I promise to post a link here when I do that, for those of you who are interested).

And, yes, the way in which HP fandom tends to write the world as misogynistic (and also, even when not making it outright misogynistic, write a world with very misogynistic treatment of female characters due to their own issues and perceptions) infuriates me deeply.

We have things such as Artemisia Lufkin, first female Minister for Magic all the way back in 1798. (Find links for all points on a page over Here due to tumblr’s bloody search block algorithm for external links.Anything I bold here has a relevant link on the page.)

Let me repeat that for those of you at the back Seventeen Ninety Eight. I would also like to remind everyone that the position only came into existence in 1707.

Within a century of the position’s creation it had a female holder. Over the years it would have several - Josephina Flint, Ottaline Gambol, Hortensia Milliphutt, Evangeline Orpington, Priscilla Dupont, Venusia Crickerly, Wilhelmina Tuft, Eugenia Jenkins,  Millicent Bagnold and even one of the characters we know best: Hermione Granger.

Further, high-up positions in the Ministry were not solely the realm of men - one has only to look at Amelia Bones for that, as well as Mafalda Hopkirk. Additionally, women in the magical world are not kept from getting involved in law enforcement, Amelia Bones was head of the Department, and we all, of course, know Auror Tonks.

There is a very, very simple reason for all of this, and it astounds me that people miss it: Magic is one of the greatest equalisers.

A lot of male power is backed up by physical strength, but in the magical world, what use is physical strength if a person can Flipendo you into a wall with a thought? What help is a sword when anyone with magic can cast a Killing Curse or a Cutting Curse?

Suddenly, with magic, everyone who has it is on a level playing field. Then you add wands and suddenly those who lacked focus have a much easier time of it. You add schools and suddenly anyone able to attend shoots ahead. And here’s the thing: if you don’t teach a kid how to use their magic it will go one of three ways.

  1. They teach themselves and have a kind of wild wandless magic not bound to wands or spells and which may react badly based on intent and emotion - I would assume this is how magic first came to be used, before wands, historically speaking.
  2. They feel ashamed of it and try to hide it, creating an incredibly dangerous, volatile and destructive Obscurus.
  3. They have magic, untapped, that will respond accidentally to any threat or discomfort: see Harry’s accidental magic with the Dursleys.

The first thing is hard to cope with: its a whole other art that those trained to wand wouldn’t know how to handle - a form of wandless magic that doesn’t require the same forms as wands and can be much more powerful.

The second is outright dangerous - before the Statute to physical property and people’s lives, after the Statute of Secrecy it’s an outright risk of breach, as we see with the Barebone case.

The third means you may not know this person has magic until you threaten them and suddenly their magic responds to try to defend them.

I would point out here that Accidental Magic seems to require a squad trained specifically with regards to it in order to deal with it.

None of these are good outcomes so the best way forward is equal training in the same way in the same fields so that magic becomes standardised. And if you’re standardising it then everyone has the same basics and can cast a number of the same spells and you’ve equalised things before it’s all begun.

The magical world isn’t misogynist because it can’t be. Once you give people magic without regard for gender, suddenly you can’t push them around anymore. I suppose you could educate women in one kind of magic and men in another but the matter is simple: if a woman gets ahold of one of the men’s books they can learn this other magic and oh dear there that idea goes out the window.

And even if not: we know that even if a child is trained to wand they can still perform accidental magic, we need only to see the Aunt Marge incident for that, so even if you did teach a woman only “womanly” magic, if you tried to attack her because you knew magic she did not there is a high chance her magic would respond to her emotional state and her intent and act to defend her. And even if it did not, as we know with the case of Ariana Dumbledore, it can do a terrible thing to a person to have magical trauma and cause a huge amount of destruction in it’s own right - as with the Obscurus case this is not something you want, before the Statute because you don’t want to go destroying people’s property wantonly and afterwards because wixes wanted to avoid discovery.

So: you wouldn’t want to abuse a magical child into a gender role, you wouldn’t want to threaten a girl and give her traumatic magic, your best bet is to teach everyone equally.

Also: magical sports seem to be intellectual (magical chess), playful and non-physical (Gobstones) or played on brooms (Quidditch, Quodpot) in which case, again, physicality doesn’t matter - I mean, really this means that women would be prized Quidditch players because women are statistically smaller than men, which is important because Seeker’s need to be small and light to achieve the speeds needed to catch the Snitch. And as we see with the books, there’s no gender divide in Quidditch as we see with football (I’m UK based so to you Americans that would be soccer). The all-female Holyhead Harpies team are one of the best in the league!

I’m also going to add in here because I forgot to earlier, one of the most important authors of magical school textbooks is a woman. Miranda Goshawk wrote a large number of books regarding spellwork. Additionally, for history, again the main expert is a woman - Bathilda Bagshot, and further, for the incredibly complex art of Transfiguration we know that Professor McGonagall is a considerably skilled and respected witch - who won the Transfiguration Today Most Promising Newcomer award.

And thus: gender equality. Magic is the great equaliser.

This isn’t to say that the magical world is 100% equal: of course it’s not. It was written by a woman in our own world, which is, despite the best efforts of many, still very sexist, and it shows. There are certain gender roles adhered to, it’s even a stated fact that the battle between Bellatrix and Molly Weasley is, in part, a battle between a mother’s love and an obsessive love. Many of these things aren’t what you might immediately think of as sexist things, but they are: they’re just less blatantly and immediately harmful ones. 

Many of the female characters go on to rapidly get married and have children: even punky Tonks does this before her death, even career woman Hermione does this. Certain female characters are seen primarily as mothers and not as politicians or powerhouses in their own right - one of the scions of the House of Black, Narcissa Malfoy is seen as a mother, because that is how we know her. She is not, as her husband is, politically involved, greasing Fudge’s palms, using the power of a Governor of Hogwarts to influence the school, she is a mother, and saves Harry from Voldemort come the end, because, as a mother she wishes to save her son.

I can largely forgive this however for two main reasons. Firstly, we are all a product of our time and, for it’s time, Harry Potter was a very progressive thing to give children’s with the Lycanthropy HIV allegory, the Muggleborn race allegory, the Death Eater Nazi allegory - even the Goblin culture clash! As time goes on we see holes in it and pick at it more but it’s core ideas of acceptance, love, helping and healing over violence and hatred are still very important. Secondly: the role of protective mother is a recurring motif of the story, Lily gives her life to save Harry and provide him with a lasting protection. Molly Weasley takes Harry in and treats him as she would her own child, knowing he has no true family of his own, given how the Dursleys treat him. Merope Gaunt is a dark mirror: a mother who in the narrative in a way failed her son, abandoning him and with her lack, he became Voldemort. Tonks as a new mother in the middle of the war, bringing hope and new life to the side of those fighting against darkness, hatred and evil. Molly in the final battle proving her mettle the equal of Bellatrix bonkers Lestrange for threatening her daughter. Narcissa, a mother acting in protection of her son by lying to the face of one of the most skilled Legilimens of their time.

The wizarding world isn’t outright horrifically misogynist, but, due to the time it was written due to certain motifs it is sexist. I might argue that, in a way there’s one case where outright sexism and objectification is used also to show why it’s dangerous - with Veela they are incredibly beautiful (in part due to their magic) but also (again due to their magic) they can be incredibly dangerous when offended or angered. Assuming the beauty of this species (which no where in canon is explicitly stated to be only female) equals weakness is outright wrong, as we see most especially with Part-Veela Fleur Delacour as one of the Triwizard Champions

Further, the sexism against Fleur shown by the Weasleys - the belief that, because of her own physical beauty she would want to see only physical beauty in a partner - is outright proven wrong, once more showing us that expecting femininity and beauty to equal weakness, shallowness or pettiness is an outright fabrication.

However, all of this can also have it’s faults - Veela could be considered a stereotype of a “woman scorned” - an offended woman is a great enemy, but only if you offend her - and once more, Fleur marries and has children very rapidly.

The wizarding world is not empty of sexism, even though it should be - if anything, though, I consider this reason to prove the sexism wrong rather than playing into it - the magical world has every reason to be absolutely equal, so why not write it as such? It has no logical reason to be sexist; by all rights it should be perfectly equal. 

There’s a big essay I want to write at some point that’s gonna be called Muggles don’t “Do It Better”; they do it different, and one of the big points in that is that while in some ways the magical world may seem backwards (the lack of technology due to magical interference for a start) they are, in other ways, very much ahead, primarily because of a different way of solving problems. Muggles have Science, Wixes have Magic - therefore the logic is different on how to solve problems. Just because the magical world seems backwards doesn’t mean it is - it isn’t sexist, it had a female Minister of Magic in the frigging 1700s, it has instantaneous transport in three different forms (Apparition, Floo and Portkeys), near-instantaneous communication options (Floo, Patronus Messages, communications mirrors) ways of breathing underwater without weighty scuba gear and a limitation on air (Gillyweed, Bubble-Head Charms, Krum’s Shark transfiguration), means of flight long before humans ever began engineering such things (brooms, carpets, winged horses). I could go on.

I would also remind everyone that, to wixes, muggles are backwards - why on earth would you cut someone open to try to help them heal. To wixes, with magic, the idea is unthinkable - but they have Skele-gro and bone-mending spells, Pepperup Potion which is a functional cure for the common cold, a thing science has not yet managed because of how the virus evolves.


Tl;dr: The magical world is far far more progressive, gender-wise, than ours is, at least if you map gender issues by the dates of when things are set. The books may not hold up as well now, but to anyone who remembers when they were published (and when they were set) their representation of women is considerably awesome

The series is not not empty of sexism but that’s due to real-world influence, allegory and also written motifs, and is not an excuse to write a world where witches are second class citizens: that’s not true to canon at all.

And, in my humble opinion, canon’s atypical sexism (when compared to the historical logic and evidence of the setting) should be taken as a challenge to write the wizarding world at the level of progressive it should be, rather than how canon displays it to us.

There’s a saying: “if the world isn’t fair, make it so.” Another saying: “we have a responsibility to leave the world better than the way our parents left it to us.”

I think that’s a good place to end this.

(Annoyingly I can’t remember where these quotes are from exactly - I know my father has used the first all my life, but I also know it’s a philosophy of a particular Native American culture. The latter I think is something along the lines of a quote that made the rounds of this very hellsite, but I can’t find the exact wording or the quote source - if anyone knows the exact wording and sources for either of these please do let me know, I’d very much appreciate it.)

all this and heaven too

a thank you fic for @sarastark. ❤️❤️❤️

pairing: darcy/tony (ironshock)
rating: g
word count: 4871

(a million thanks to @ragwitch for her mad beta skills. xoxo)

“Please don’t be an axe murderer,” Darcy muttered to herself as she flicked on her emergency flashers and eased onto the shoulder of the two-lane highway. “Please, please, please. Please don’t make me regret this.”

The figure in her side mirror hesitated, standing so still she could hardly see them in the flickering of her brake light—the rain was coming down in heavy sheets, so heavily that she’d been worried about making it home safely even without the added danger of picking up a stranger from the side of the road. After a moment she considered driving away, but then the figure started to move.

As the person’s reflection grew bigger and more distinct in her rainy side mirror, Darcy was reminded of the terror she’d felt watching Jurassic Park for the first time. A human was a lot different than a giant T-Rex, of course, but her brain wouldn’t let go of the comparison. The ominous click and slide of her windshield wipers didn’t help.

Her mind flitted through all the possibilities—running the gamut from an assassin fleeing the scene of a crime to an escaped convict—but then the person was knocking on her window and she had no more time to think. It was either let him in or drive off and leave him to drown in rainwater and mud. After hesitating for a split second longer, she went with option C and rolled her window down halfway.

“What the hell are you doing out here, dude?”

“Seriously? We can’t have this conversation in the car?”

For all that the rain had soaked through his clothes and plastered his hair to his head, the man’s look was as dry as the New Mexico desert. He was spectacularly attractive, with a face so handsome she couldn’t even fault him for his goatee. She didn’t even like goatees, but somehow he pulled it off a little too well.

He tapped an impatient finger against the half-open window, reminding Darcy why option C hadn’t actually been a real…option. With a slight huff, she rolled her car window up. It was impossible not to grin at the look of indignant rage on the man’s face; he clearly thought she was going to abandon him to the elements.

Instead, she reached over and popped the door open. He slid in immediately, and she mourned the fabric of her passenger seat as he immediately drenched it.

“You’re not gonna kill me, are you?” Her tone was blunt—better to get it out of the way immediately.

The man was clearly a fan of incredulous stares. His gazed bored into the side of her face as she pulled out onto the highway, his jaw slack with bemused horror. Her unease from picking up a stranger immediately abated, replaced with an unholy glee from getting under his skin.

“You’re joking, right? Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Dude, how often do you pick up strangers who are hitchhiking in the middle of the night, in a rainstorm no less? Of course I’m not joking.”

The silence following that statement was pronounced, and stretched for so long she glanced over to make sure he was still conscious. He was, though clearly befuddled. His mouth worked a couple of times before he found his words.

“You’re serious. You really don’t know who I am.” That statement was ominous, and her head shot over to stare at him.

“Oh my god, and I supposed to? Are you an escaped convict or something?” Her eyes darted back to the road—convict or not, she did not want to kill both of them by wrapping her car around a tree—and she desperately tried to remember where she’d put her taser. Was it in her purse?

“What? No. No, no, look—nevermind. And I’m not going to kill you, okay? Sheesh, relax. Although…it’s not like I’d tell you if I was planning on it. I’d be a stupid murderer, don’t you think?” She snorted at that, and he grinned.

“Alright, axe murderer. Where are you headed? And how the hell did you end up walking down this road, anyway?”

(read more link here)

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I totally misread an earlier ask - it was ColdFLASH arranged marriage. Here you go, anon!

1 - Len’s money is all illegal, but the CCPD can’t prove it so the second his court case is over, he’s suddenly gone from rascal-about-town to extremely-eligible-bachelor. Except for the fact that the CCPD is trying a new line of attack, questioning his eligibility as a citizen given how much time he’s spent abroad, so he decides he needs to get himself a nice, legal spouse.

2 - Len used to be a pirate captain but then he was injured when he sacrificed himself to explode the jail that was holding all of his friends for execution. He had PTSD and is now somewhat hard of hearing as a result, which led to his retirement (via money-laundering). He still keeps up with the Rogues, who are now privateers thanks to some greased palms.

3 - Lisa is the new captain of the Rogues. She’s very dashing.

4 - Barry was horrified by the concept of arranged marriages, but Iris and Eddie worked out well, and, well, Dad says he knows the guy and respects him.

5 - Barry takes a while before he realizes his Dad knew him from when they were both IN PRISON (his Dad was wrongfully accused, and Barry and Nora, who survived being attacked, were able to prove it).

6 - Len is very polite to Barry for about thirty minutes then Barry sets up the perfect pun and Len can’t help but make it. Barry immediately throws one back. It's love at first sight, really. This doesn’t keep either of them from immediately being super Dramatic about everything, including whether or not the other one is just being charming to lure them into the marriage.

7 - Mick solves everything by knocking heads together. Literally.

Older fan here, Never have I ever seen a more obvious & blatant campaign for a Grammy. In years past there have been winners that have given me pause, made me wonder if some quid pro quo happened w/voters behind the scenes but this…. HSHQ is going so hard it’s clear to me that it’s already been bought & paid for. I believe this was always the plan but I think Harry has failed to meet expectations & now TPTB are desperate to justify his “Rock God” image & narrative. I suspected as much when the Grammy’s announced they’d be moving back to NY to be held at MSG, owned by Irving Azoffs group. Then that Grammy exec (or is he the president?) at the Troubadour performance. I have no doubt Irving is calling in favors from voters & greasing palms for Harry’s Grammy. More importantly Irving is securing Jeff’s rep as a manger by giving him a Grammy winning artist. They’ve pushed the Grammy narrative so hard I’ll never believe H earned it on his own merit.


Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

madqueenalanna  asked:

Hi Butterfly! What can you tell me about divorce and separation in Westeros? Is there legal divorce, or merely parting ways like Doran and Mellario? Would it be more possible to obtain a divorce for smallfolk or, say, a minor knight, than it would for a high lord? Would it be a legal matter (that is, could the king authorize a divorce) or would it always have to go through the Faith? Thank you!

When discussing the subject, GRRM says that “divorce simply isn’t common” in Westeros, which suggests that it does exist, but is very rare and may have certain requirements that most unhappy marriages do not qualify for. (Or perhaps it may only exist in places less controlled by the Faith of the Seven, similar to how in our world the Catholic church prohibited divorce in medieval Europe, though it had existed in Roman times and among Jews, etc.) But at any rate, the word “divorce” has never been used in the books, so I have zero details to give you regarding laws and such on that matter, I’m afraid.

However, there are two other options. The first appears to be some form of legal separation or estrangement. We have the example of Doran and Mellario, where after she became unhappy in the marriage and couldn’t bear living with her husband anymore, she returned home to Norvos. Which added to her unhappiness, since she had to leave her children behind – which suggests that either a father’s rights count for more than a mother’s in Westeros, or that because Doran was Prince of Dorne and their children were his heirs, Mellario simply wasn’t allowed to take them with her. (And definitely not Quentyn, as he had been fostered away with the Yronwoods, which was the original source of her distress.) Which isn’t to say that they couldn’t visit later (as Quentyn wishes he had) or were otherwise not permitted to see her, but they couldn’t live in Norvos with her. Note that Doran and Mellario must maintain some form of contact (though it may not be financial as she may be independently wealthy), as he sent Andrey Dalt to serve her in Norvos for three years. Also note that while Doran and Mellario are well-known to be separated, they are still legally married, as Tywin rejects Doran as a possible new husband for Cersei due to the fact that Mellario is still alive. And further note that Doran has not taken a paramour, even though in Dorne probably nobody would blink if he did.

Another estranged couple we know of is Balon Greyjoy and his wife Alannys Harlaw. This came about because of Alannys’s deep depression after the death of her elder sons in Balon’s rebellion, and the sending away of her youngest, Theon, as a hostage afterwards. Her pain was briefly eased when she fostered some boys at Pyke, but eventually her madness increased and her health decreased, and she returned home to her sister and brother at Harlaw. We don’t know how formal a separation it was, or if it was only an estrangement because of her health, as none of their relatives really seem to talk about them in connection with each other; only that Asha was somewhat surprised that Alannys outlived her husband in the end. Also while Balon could take a salt wife (and definitely did when he was younger), it’s interesting that no present one is mentioned by anyone during the course of the books.

And one more estranged couple – actually, two estrangements, in one of the otherwise longest and reportedly happiest and most loving marriages in all of Westeros, that of King Jaehaerys I Targaryen and his sister-queen Alysanne. While they were married in 50 AC and Jaehaerys became a widower around 100 AC, they were recorded to have been married only forty-six years. The discrepancy is due to the years of their separations, in the First and Second Quarrels. We don’t know what caused the First Quarrel or when it happened, though it must have lasted about two years; but the Second Quarrel began in 92 AC after Jaehaerys passed over his granddaughter Rhaenys in the succession (and Alysanne said if he considered women of less use, then he didn’t need her either), and lasted until 94 AC when they were reconciled through the efforts of their daughter Septa Maegelle. Anyway, the fact that history books exclude the years of the Quarrels from the length of Jaehaerys and Alysanne’s marriage tells us that the estrangements must have been formal and legal separations of some kind, even if we don’t know the details as such. (GRRM will probably give more info in Fire and Blood, whenever that comes out.)

The other option to end a marriage is through an annulment. In the books, this is known as putting a marriage aside, or having it undone or dissolved, and legally means that it never happened at all. We actually have quite a lot of data for this:

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What Does It Mean To Be Credible?

So Harry has been lining the pockets of the Grammy voters and Irving has been ordering mandatory promotion from his other clients, why? In an attempt to give Harry some almighty ‘credibility’. But why is this important?

Credibility is equivalent to respect in the eyes of many. And it is widely accepted that manufactured boy bands have no credibility and therefore are not respected in the music industry. This is likely because boy bands are more for looks than music. Girls like cute boys. That’s not rocket science. So Harry is now kicking against reality, and the fact that he is a product of the manufactured boy band machine, in an attempt to be seen as a serious musician. This rewriting of history includes cutting ties with all former members of said boy band as well as it’s fans. Fans of boy bands are seen as perpetually teenaged females who know nothing about ‘real’ music and therefore don’t matter.

But it’s not working quite like Harry wants it to. At least not completely. The media is on his side because either Irving is greasing their palms or they want to be seen as smarter or more enlightened than the simpletons of the general public. There has long been a mind set that the worse music actually is, the better it is in the eyes of critics. This can be attributed to the idea that if you don’t like it, then you don’t get it and therefore are not smart.

So for a critic to say that a mediocre, underwhelming and rip off filled album like Harry’s is ‘groundbreaking’ or even Grammy worthy, in that critic’s mind they are elevating themselves above the rest of us because they 'get it’ and we don’t. So they are smart and we are dumb and beneath them. It’s disgusting, but a very common and prevelant way of thinking. It applies to other areas outside of music as well. I might see scribbles on a page, but someone else will sell those same scribbles for thousands of dollars. So therefore I’m not cultured or enlightened enough to understand their 'art’. And it’s the need to be seen as elevated above the rest that causes people to spend thousands of dollars on those scribbles. Or in this case to praise an album that doesn’t deserve it. So I’m not stupid, because they really are scribbles. I just don’t need that validation from others to know that I’m smart.

That’s also the reason that Harry and the Azoff’s tactics are not working. Fans of boy bands are not perpetually teenaged and we are smart. We listen to a wide variety of music, we know what’s good and what isn’t and we don’t just blindly buy whatever it is they are selling. They didn’t plan on us seeing through their facade. So now Harry is burning bridges he can’t afford to lose.

Despite everything the media is desperately trying to push, Harry hasn’t garnered enough new fans to possibly keep him afloat. And the fans that he wants, the hipster neck beards and rock aficionados, will never give him the numbers he needs to be a profitable commodity for his label. They don’t have streaming parties, they don’t gift songs to others, they don’t fill out request forms for radio play and they don’t vote for awards. They listen to what they like and sometimes go to concerts or festivals. But for the most part they are casual fans. And casual fans do not bring in enough money to justify paying someone eighty million dollars.

Well known artists who have been around for a long time and have proven themselves to be true legends or staples in the industry are successful because they have fans who have been with them for a long time and who stay with them today. They don’t need streaming parties, gifting and the like because they have earned enough industry recognition to know that radio stations will play their music and they know they will be considered for awards. So in that case, casual fans work for them.

Harry hasn’t done the work or put in the time to reach that level of comfort and notoriety. He is simply demanding respect and credibility without doing anything to prove himself worthy. It will hurt him in the long run. Without putting in the effort, he will never learn to appreciate the result. And despite what the media would have you think, the general public are not stupid. They may not look at Harry and know everything we know, but they will still see a spoiled child getting recognition based on fallacy.

Credibility is an interesting thing and it actually has two very different definitions if you were to look it up:

1. the quality of being trusted and believed
2. the quality of being convincing or believable

Credibility is Harry’s holy grail right now. But is his method of obtaining it going to make him 'trusted’ or simply 'convincing’? My money is on convincing, but how long can he hold on trying to make people believe he is the real deal without anything substantial to back it up? I know image is everything for him, but even the best made costumes will eventually start to unravel and fall apart if you use them too much.

samhain | by ark | les miserables | enjolras/grantaire | canon era, holiday hijinks, les amis de l’abc | 1.7k | part 1

Grantaire is ready at the appointed hour, dressed all in black as instructed. He is fastening on a rather sweeping black cape when a firm rap sounds at the door.

“Coming, coming,” he tells the door, and jams his feet into boots. “This had best be worth the mystery, Jean. I do not enjoy surprises. I am told it is a personal failing and added it to the list I keep of them.”

When he swings open the door, it is not to admit Jehan Prouvaire. All of his friends stand ringed behind the portal. All wear black, and some are masked. But he would know Courfeyrac’s fiery mane at a distance, and the glint of Enjolras’ golden curls even in pitchy darkness.

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The Heroes Gambit

Juggling a long con, several disguises and a chance at revenge,  Vox Machina’s second casino night may turn out to be much more lucrative than the first

For the CritRole Reverse Bang, to match @curriebelle​‘s beautiful art

It turned out slightly longer than 2,000 words. For ease of reading it is also on AO3

The Luck’s Run casino was always bustling. In the five days she’d been staying there, she had yet to see it truly in a lull. Tonight, though, it seemed as if half Marquet was pressed together on the floor. The promise of a new performer and a duel in the fighting pits tomorrow encouraged all kinds of people to part with their hard won coin.

She, on the other hand, was afforded a little more breathing space. Being a high roller and a valued client kept a seat reserved for her at her favored game and a bouncer’s discouraging eye on the riff raff - which was part of why she looked up in surprise when someone pulled out the seat beside her.

“Is the Lady feeling favorable tonight?” the intruder asked, his accent smooth and sounding of somewhere far away.

He was handsome and pale, with aristocratic features and a shock of white hair that stood out starkly against his clothing. If his accent hadn’t marked him as an outsider, his clothing would have; no one in Marquet wore black in such a way. Next to his monochrome appearance, the vivid blood red of her dress stood out even more.

“Avandra’s blessings are fleeting this evening,” she replied evenly, unsure whether the strange man was worthy of her time. “The goddess’s favour comes and goes at no one’s will.”

“So it always is with gods. But it’s your favour I’m devoted to earning.” His smile was charming enough and despite her better judgement, she warmed a little.

“Devoted, hmm?”

“Of course.” He glanced at the table and back at her, his gaze pausing on the neckline of her dress just long enough to be flattering before he met her eyes again. “After all, if I wish to play, it seems I am at your mercy.”

She chuckled and shrugged the fur stole from her shoulders, leaving her decolletage invitingly bare. “I do like a man who knows his place.” Tipping her head just slightly toward the table and the poised dealer, she indicated he should sit. “For the moment though, you may as well join the game.”

She waited until he’d pulled out his chair before holding out a hand to stop him. “You have played before?”

Rather than pause, he simply took her hand in his own as he sat. “Played and won. Might I know your name? Or shall I simply refer to you as the Goddess of Beauty?

That was laying it on a little thick, but she permitted herself a small smile. “Countess Velora Whitewood of Kymal.”

The name rolled easily off Vex’s tongue after five days of constant use.

“I am Frederick,” Percy said as he bowed over her hand and pressed his lips to her knuckles through the gloves that Vex had worn to hide her archer’s calluses. “Delighted to meet you.”

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One Dynamite Gal

For xiphoa because you started it.

Athena strode into the Emporium O’ Stuff, smirking to herself. Janey was busy setting up her welding supplies, the mask precariously balanced on the top of her head. The blonde hummed cheerfully as she adjusted the setting on her butane torch, completely oblivious to the world, at least until she heard familiar footfalls.

“Oh, hey, ‘Thena. Got a job today?”

“Mhm. I thought I’d drop by before I headed out.”

“That was sweet of ya, ‘Thena. I’m glad you stopped by.”

The gladiator shuffled her feet, pausing to find her words, eyes darting around the shop.

“Oh, and Janey… You’re one dynamite gal.”

She leaned in and gave the taller woman a peck on the cheek before turning on the ball of her foot, ducking out of the shop before the other woman could register the gesture. Janey reached up, her fingers brushing the spot where the gladiator kissed her, smudging a bit of grease on the spot.

“Did I miss somethin’?”

Realization hit her like a moonshot. She flung aside her welding mask, tripping over power cords as she scrambled to catch up to Athena. The ex-Lancer was leaning against the shop’s front, right next to the image of the junker, arms folded over her chest. A smirk lifted one corner of her lips when she spotted her girlfriend.

“One dynamite gal, eh?”

“It was the best I could think of.”

“I like it, ‘Thena. But you are not goin’ on a job without this.”

She cupped Athena’s face in her palms, smudging grease over her girlfriend’s high cheekbones as she drew the other woman in close. She pressed her lips against the gladiator’s and managed to slip in a little tongue before Athena broke contact, her cheeks flushing.

“I think all of Concordia saw that.”

“No worries. Moxxi’s done worse. And, Athena, you’re real sexy when you smile.”

“Don’t make me regret taking this job, Janey.”

“Not-uh, you’re goin’ to work, ‘Thena. I will happily wait for later.”

A lopsided little smile formed on Athena’s lips. The blonde grinned at her and turned back to her shop. There was definitely a bit of a spring to her step. It took the ex-assassin a good while to wipe the smile off of her face. No one wanted to see a smiling merc (excluding Janey, of course). 


‘In every city where a kaiju has made landfall, there’s a guy like him: the guy who shows up just after the kaiju has gone down, greases palms, makes sure the authorities look the other way long enough for people- the right people- to get to work… And the godfather of that industry was Hannibal Chau.’