pal read

ID #90876

Name: Vanessa
Age: 17
Country: Canada

Hey there! My name is Vanessa but people usually call me Nesa, my interests are mostly writing, reading, drawing, listening to music, watching old movies, searching for vintage clothes and studying philosophy. My favourite (music) artists are definitely Melanie Martinez, Teresa Brewer, Vampire Weekend, Beach House, and a lot of other indie rock/pop and classic rock bands and artists! My favourite movies are mostly Tarantino’s movies, my favourite of all time being death proof. If we become pen pals, I would be excited to talk about art and philosophy and music and even send mixtapes or art or photographs back and forth!  

Preferences:  Ages between 16-22

I am 7 years late to this fandom

helping your bpd pals

if you’re reading this post you’re already off to a wonderful start with helping your borderline friends! it can be hard for us to admit we need specialized attention, and you going out of your way to learn how to help us is amazing. here are some simple things you can do for us (and the reasoning behind them)

•enthusiasm! borderlines have very black & white thinking, meaning if we aren’t positive you’re happy with us we will assume you are angry. really simple things like exclamation points and smiles can go a long way!

•let us know when you’re going to be hard to reach! this one is pretty self explanatory, and if you’ve read any other post of this sort i’m sure you’ve seen this, but it’s important! we are terribly scared of you abandoning us so let us know that you aren’t and that you’re just busy. (we’re kinda like those dogs that freak out and destroy the house when their owner leaves because they think they’ve been abandoned)

•reassurance! we will rarely come out and ask for this one out of fear of being labeled a “manipulative borderline,,” but if you take anything from this post it’s that your bpd friends need to be reassured that you care about us as much as possible. we usually lack emotional permanance which makes it hard for us to believe you still love us, even if you told us a few days- or hours- before.

•don’t get angry over our impulsive behavior! if we aren’t getting the attention that we’re desperate for, us borderlines will most likely do an “attention seeking” and often self destructive action in order to gain attention. you should definetly express your concerns and etc. over the behavior, but please don’t act angry. that will often lead to more impulsive thoughts on our part

•don’t show annoyance over us apologizing a lot! we constantly feel like a burden since we can’t handle things “"normally”“ this will lead us to apologize constantly (and apologize for apologizing) please just tell us it’s alright or that we don’t need to worry about it.

•if we start acting cold, don’t stress about it! this one is more for the friends or fps of us borderlines. a lot of us do what is called “splitting” where we will swap from idolizing you to hating you very abruptly. it is completely temporary!! we still love you!!

•compliment our appearance! complimenting our personalities can be tricky, since we have such a hard time thinking for ourselves. a lot of people with bpd are obsessed with their appearance and changing it, so compliment us occasionally!

•random affection! people with bpd are usually so worried that they are manipulating affection out of people. you telling us sweet or reassuring things without us initiating it is appreciated beyond belief. keep in mind we frequently don’t know how to react to things, but i promise we will be so happy.

~i don’t speak for the entire bpd community!! you should ask your borderline pal if these things apply to them if you aren’t sure.
~i’m not trying to tell you that we need a certain high level of attention or nothing, we know that you have problems to deal with too. just knowing you care and recognize our illness enough to read this post is amazing and relieving.

Wake Up, Sunshine

Not entirely sure as to what this is but I was sleepy so I just did this. I should probably make a masterpost hm? oops, I’ll do it later. Thanks for reading pals!
“Wake Up, Sunshine”

(or the one where Harry’s girl hates being woken up early and Harry’s just so in love)

Harry absolutely loves mornings.

Especially those warm morning where he doesn’t get woken up by the blaring alarm by his ear. He loves the mornings where a familiar warm body is pressed into his chest, light snores in his ear, legs sprawled on his own causing blissful shudders to shake his shoulders. He loves the hands sleepily wandering his torso, he even loves the long hair in his mouth from the girl who’s head is tucked into his neck.

Harry doesn’t know what to expect every night when they fall asleep. He thinks that’s the best part of falling in love with her. Usually, his girl and him end up in the same position at night after a couple minutes of exchanging words about their day. She rests her head on his shoulder with an arm draped over his torso, leg latched to his hip. It takes her a while to fall asleep but with one of Harry’s hands on her lower back, rubbing circles into her hot skin (that slowly makes its way down to her bum), she’s gone to dreamland in before Harry.

However, when they wake up, it’s a different story. He doesn’t know whether his beautiful girl will be next him, on top of him, or laying face first on the floor because of how much she tosses around in her sleep. He’s often forced awake in the middle of the night due to the small girl smacking her arm across his face or kneeing him where he shouldn’t be kneed while desperately searching for the right position. Usually, he finds it amusing with the exception of the day he found her bum pressed directly to his crotch.

Today, Harry opens his eyes to find a tuft of hair in his face, mouth, nose, basically everywhere. Her head is resting on Harry’s collarbone, hand fisting the material of his thin shirt, breathing heavily as if her nose is blocked. Her mouth is slightly open causing warm air to hit Harry’s goosebumps on his skin.

Now, Harry has learned his lesson from the numerous times he has found himself in this unfortunate situation. He’s far too smart to push her away all together (mainly because of the terrible mood she’s in when she’s awoken too early) and takes a couple seconds to remove the hair from his mouth. With a gentle hand under her chin, he slowly maneuvers her head back onto her own pillow.

This movement causes the girl to whine from the back of her throat, eyebrows scrunching up more than they already do when she sleeps. Her head lifts up from the pillow, hair sticking to the fabric as her sleepy eyes blink open. Her eyes search for Harry’s and when she finds his wide orbs, her expression grows annoyed.

Harry should be swearing under his breath, devising ways to calm her down before she explodes on him. He can probably sing her back to sleep or apologize profusely to her, however the sight in front of him is too precious of him to forget. He decides it’s okay to let her be cranky this morning.

Her drowsy eyes are half open, cheeks puffed out, and a mark running down her face from the little bulging patterns on Harry’s shirt. Her mouth is fully pouted, with her bottom lip jutting outwards significantly, resembling a young school girl who simply does not want to go to school. All in all, she looks irritated at Harry for waking her up and by the way her frown only deepens, the boy knows he’s in for an earful.

“Good morning, petal,” he begins, a fond smile growing on his lips when his pretty girl rubs her eye with a sweater paw. She yawns and stretches her limbs before returning her exasperate gaze on her smitten boyfriend.

The first words she utters are: “Why am I awake?”

Harry breathlessly laughs and moves his body closer to hers, taking her face in his hands. He gently caresses her cheeks with the pads of his thumb and stares into her sleepy eyes, the grin on his lips only deepening his dimples. He places his own head against her neck, brushing his lips against her skin, mumbling, “I might have woken you up.”

A few seconds go by of Harry simply dotting random kisses to his beautiful girl’s skin and she tosses her head back, demanding more from his mouth. “I wanted to sleep in today,” she murmurs.

Harry steals a glance at the clock. “It’s already 11:20, my love.”

“Didn’t wanna be awake in the morning,” she insists with a slight whine to her voice, suddenly fed up with his attention. “It’s Sunday.”

She places her open palms on his chest and shoves him away. Before Harry can grab her hands and pin them to the mattress, like he always does whenever she pushes him away, she turns her back to him and places the blanket over her head.

“Harsh,” Harry notes when the girl shuffles away from his warmth.

“Shouldn’t have woken me up,” she shoots back in a muffled voice and Harry is quick to catch her teasing tone.

Harry’s not having it today. He doesn’t have the studio booked today and he doesn’t have anymore secret photo shoots to attend behind her back. It’s the first pleasant morning in a couple weeks so is it really a crime to want a cuddle from his girl?

So Harry places one leg over hers and forces an arm under her waist, connecting his other hand across her stomach. His smart little girl comprehends what he’s about to do her hands immediately fly to his arms, trying to pry them apart. Harry—!“

He swiftly tugs her entire body into his chest, tightening his grasp around her, tangling his legs further into hers. There’s no escape when she’s in this position and they both are aware of it.

"Not in the mood for this,” she grumbles.

Harry comes to the realization that he simply does not like her lips in a hard line so he begins to break her down. He wets his lips and presses them to the corner of her mouth, pecking the skin repeatedly. “I’m sorry pet. Didn’t mean to wake you up but now you can cuddle with me more.”

Harry feels her jaw clench which causes a smirk to grow on his lips because he knows she’s trying to cover a smile. Her witty reply is, “When I agreed to date you, you didn’t say you were such a cuddle monster.”

Harry hums from the back of his throat, delighted that the dark cloud has lifted. “I wouldn’t say monster, pet. That makes me sound terrible.”

She doesn’t reply after that and Harry knows she hasn’t fallen back asleep. Instead of releasing her, he begins to press sponges kisses to her jaw and neck. The girl engulfed in his limbs lets out a low sigh and relaxes further into his arms when he drags his lips to the sweet spot right below her ear lobe. Harry’s heart soars.

A couple seconds go of Harry simply taking advantage of his beautiful girl’s vulnerable state by pressing his lips to every thrilling spot her knows: her temples, the sides of her nose, the hollows of her neck etc…

Finally, the girl huffs and turns around to face him. She loops her arm around his neck and presses her entire body into his chest. Harry feels her breath on his neck again when he says, “Not fair, Harry.”

“What’s not fair, my love?” Harry ignores the grammatical error and speaks in a small voice.

“You’re doing all this sweet stuff to make my mood lighter,” she says.

Harry places his massive hand on her back and rubs slowly causing a moan of approval to fall from her lips. Her hand tightens on his chest as she flutters her eyes open. She glances up at Harry and smiles lazily. “It’s working.”

Harry hums and bends down, pressing his lips sweetly to hers. He continues rubbing her back, gingerly drawing her in. It’s a small kiss because who actually has the strength to French kiss in the morning. That’s disgusting anyways, he thinks. As he feels his girlfriend kiss him back, he smirks and pulls away without a word. His eyes aren’t open but he can practically hear her pout.

“Wasn’t done kissing you.”

Harry knows her eyes are wide and her lower lip bitten. He knows her cheeks have flushed and her eyebrows have drooped with disappointment.

“I’ll kiss you more once we’ve both brushed our teeth,” Harry smiled.

He feels a hand on his chest and a weight as she pushes herself upwards. He opens his eyes and watches her grab a hair tie and her glasses from the side table. She forces her hair in a bun and pushes the glasses so they’re perched on the bridge of her nose. The frames are too big for her small face, however she had insisted at the optician at she wanted those and none other. Her exact words were something like “If i’m gonna be unattractive from now on, I wanna make the best out of it.”

Of course Harry punished her with kisses once they reached home.

His small girlfriend limps over to the closet, which causes Harry to frown in guilt, grabbing one of Harry’s old t-shirts.

“Ah ah, that’s not yours to wear,” Harry pipes.

She turns around and pushes her glasses up. “You woke me up early, I get to do whatever I want.”

It seems logical so Harry lets it slide and watches her trudge into the bathroom, admiring her legs and the way she walks on her heels, not letting her toes feel the cold floor. His girlfriend is honestly a 5 year old and he bloody loves it.

Harry realizes he’ll probably go through this hassle everyday he’s with her and after a couple minutes of staring longingly at the bathroom door, he comes to the conclusion that he wouldn’t want it any other way.

Can we be friends?

Like all I want is someone to nerd out with, and text till the wee hours of the morning, and discover new artists to listen to, and basically just have fun with? I’m 22, and female; super open about anything, truly tho I don’t judge. 

Willing to talk on tumblr, kik, email, or even snail mail.

Tagging some things I love to get this out there.


You can take my hand and I can take the lead.

And I get it. I get why you were so scared of us now. Because – shit. Because you lost Wallace and it gutted you and I thought I figured out why and that felt like metal in my throat, and I realised I couldn’t drop you if I wanted to, ‘cause you were saying you didn’t even know what love feels like and I was just thinking,

you idiot,

you asshole,

it feels like this.


- in celebration of Ninety One Whiskey - @cuddlebabies

  • you: "bucky, you've known me your whole life"
  • me, an intellectual: "You were the first person who ever loved me," Steve gasps. He didn't know he could hurt this bad and not die from it. He didn't know it was possible. "And I was — Buck, I was the first person who ever loved you."