pakistani guy

  • me: hey you wanna hear some desi puns in urdu/punjabi?
  • friend: no but ok
  • me: if you're on a bus and you've had enough do you say "bas"?
  • friend: ...
  • me: if you're in a car and you've had enough, do you say "bas kar"?
  • friend: ....??!?!?!?
  • me: if you're on a boat and you've had enough, do you say "boht ho gaya"?
  • friend: get out
Speeches at desi weddings
  • Maid of Honor: “This girl is so sweet and beautiful, she have always been there for me. You're my sister. I’m so happy for you both.”
  • Best Man: “Yooooo remember our Vegas trip brooo??? this guy is wild lol *insert drake lyrics* yeaaahhh well anyway man so glad you found a nice girl”
5

Yesterday we went to disneyland for the first time since the beginning of summer. We spent most of our time taking selfies, but hey who could blame us? We are a beautiful couple.

One of my favorite memories about my labor and delivery is

When nobody was home and I had to call an Uber to get to the hospital. My driver was this older Pakistani guy who started panicking. I was on the phone with my sister. She was telling him to breathe and calming him while she counted my contractions.

Once we arrived at the hospital, he brought my bags to the front desk, helped me out the car, and gave me the biggest hug ever.

“It’s going to be okay. Soon you’ll have a beautiful baby girl. You can to this!”, is what he whispered to me.

He was the sweetest ever. And I’ll never forget that.

The Struggle

The cute white boy from Red Bull walks up to me, “Can I ask you a personal question?’
I said, “Sure..”
“Do you have a boyfriend?” I instantly felt my cheek heats. My face had to be borderline tomato red. I knew where this was headed.
“No…”
“Then can i have your number?” He had the most hopeful look in his beautiful hazel eyes. It made me even more nervous.
“Ummm”, Is he serious? I am not wearing any makeup. This work shirt is two sizes too big. Are his eyes okay?
“You don’t have to give it to me if you don’t want to..”
“No no I’ll give it to you..”
“You don’t sound too confident with that answer.”
“The thing is I don’t date. I have never dated anyone.”
“You have to start some time”
I hate having to explain this. Some people just don’t understand it. “Growing up I never dated. Now that I am almost 20 I have come to the conclusion that I will get an arranged marriage.”
“Is that a family thing?”, he asked with the most shocked eyes I have ever seen.
“It’s family and culture.”, I responded shrugging my shoulders.
He still had some hope, “Okay well, maybe we can just hang out or something..?” 
Maybe he will just keep it as friends, “Yea that sounds fine!” His smile grew 10 times bigger than it already was.
God help me.

So far in discovery we have:

A black female first officer/protagonist
Asian female captain
Gay male scientist
Alien
Klingon black guy
Klingon white lady
Klingon british/pakistani guy

So let me elaborate the news: we’ve had 7 confirmed characters so far, most of them leads or supporting the lead, and none of them is a straight white human male

10

You’re an animal!