pakistani guy

This Pakistani guy at my job said I’m not suppose to eat Garlic Naan with Goat curry because it ruins the flavor, didn’t know that there was a food police 😭😩, lemme eat my food in peace old man, he always bothering me.

  • me: hey you wanna hear some desi puns in urdu/punjabi?
  • friend: no but ok
  • me: if you're on a bus and you've had enough do you say "bas"?
  • friend: ...
  • me: if you're in a car and you've had enough, do you say "bas kar"?
  • friend: ....??!?!?!?
  • me: if you're on a boat and you've had enough, do you say "boht ho gaya"?
  • friend: get out

So far in discovery we have:

A black female first officer/protagonist
Asian female captain
Gay male scientist
Alien
Klingon black guy
Klingon white lady
Klingon british/pakistani guy

So let me elaborate the news: we’ve had 7 confirmed characters so far, most of them leads or supporting the lead, and none of them is a straight white human male

5

Yesterday we went to disneyland for the first time since the beginning of summer. We spent most of our time taking selfies, but hey who could blame us? We are a beautiful couple.

Tell me why
  • Desi guys: I want a girl who has green/blue eyes, fair skinned, light hair, skinny, no past, has a degree, will stay home, take care of my abbu, take care of my ammi, take care of my ammi ki ammi, cook restraunty worthy food, not from back home, traditional yet still modern blah blah blah *rants on*
  • How he looks like? Johnny Lever

Brown Guys Expectations:

- do well in school
- don’t die

Brown Girls Expectations:

- do well in school
- cook
- clean
- be excessively obedient
- somehow don’t focus on guys yet get married in your 20s
- be “ladylike” aka don’t have fun
- have a strong career while doing all of the above plus raising a child 
- also maybe don’t die bc they’re gonna end up blaming you for your own death like “i mean she had it coming…she didn’t drink her milk every day when she was a kid”

The Struggle

The cute white boy from Red Bull walks up to me, “Can I ask you a personal question?’
I said, “Sure..”
“Do you have a boyfriend?” I instantly felt my cheek heats. My face had to be borderline tomato red. I knew where this was headed.
“No…”
“Then can i have your number?” He had the most hopeful look in his beautiful hazel eyes. It made me even more nervous.
“Ummm”, Is he serious? I am not wearing any makeup. This work shirt is two sizes too big. Are his eyes okay?
“You don’t have to give it to me if you don’t want to..”
“No no I’ll give it to you..”
“You don’t sound too confident with that answer.”
“The thing is I don’t date. I have never dated anyone.”
“You have to start some time”
I hate having to explain this. Some people just don’t understand it. “Growing up I never dated. Now that I am almost 20 I have come to the conclusion that I will get an arranged marriage.”
“Is that a family thing?”, he asked with the most shocked eyes I have ever seen.
“It’s family and culture.”, I responded shrugging my shoulders.
He still had some hope, “Okay well, maybe we can just hang out or something..?” 
Maybe he will just keep it as friends, “Yea that sounds fine!” His smile grew 10 times bigger than it already was.
God help me.

So does continuing to be a malignant asshole mean that Azealia Banks suddenly got forgiven again for shit like homophobia, calling a Pakistani guy a “curry-scented bitch,” and going on a tirade filled with sexualized and body-shaming insults against a teen girl, and telling her she’s going to wind up a drug addict?

10

“Listen son, marry the girl who loves you else you will be hanged all your life. Marrying the girl whom you love but she doesn’t love you back, it’s like taking in poison. You could become a dog from a man for her and she’d still say, ‘you didn’t wag your tail yesterday.’ You could buy the entire world and put it at her feet and she’ll just roll her eyes in disdain and say, ‘idiot, wasting all this money for me.’ This is the story of after a girl becomes a wife. That’s why son, marry the girl who loves you. She’s the one who’ll make you a home. Anyone else will just give you hell.’

vimeo

Shehla Chatoor’s “All the Raj” fashion film is giving me all kinds of feels.