pakistani guy

  • me: hey you wanna hear some desi puns in urdu/punjabi?
  • friend: no but ok
  • me: if you're on a bus and you've had enough do you say "bas"?
  • friend: ...
  • me: if you're in a car and you've had enough, do you say "bas kar"?
  • friend: ....??!?!?!?
  • me: if you're on a boat and you've had enough, do you say "boht ho gaya"?
  • friend: get out
Speeches at desi weddings
  • Maid of Honor: “This girl is so sweet and beautiful, she have always been there for me. You're my sister. I’m so happy for you both.”
  • Best Man: “Yooooo remember our Vegas trip brooo??? this guy is wild lol *insert drake lyrics* yeaaahhh well anyway man so glad you found a nice girl”
5

Yesterday we went to disneyland for the first time since the beginning of summer. We spent most of our time taking selfies, but hey who could blame us? We are a beautiful couple.

Tell me why
  • Desi guys: I want a girl who has green/blue eyes, fair skinned, light hair, skinny, no past, has a degree, will stay home, take care of my abbu, take care of my ammi, take care of my ammi ki ammi, cook restraunty worthy food, not from back home, traditional yet still modern blah blah blah *rants on*
  • How he looks like? Johnny Lever
The Struggle

The cute white boy from Red Bull walks up to me, “Can I ask you a personal question?’
I said, “Sure..”
“Do you have a boyfriend?” I instantly felt my cheek heats. My face had to be borderline tomato red. I knew where this was headed.
“No…”
“Then can i have your number?” He had the most hopeful look in his beautiful hazel eyes. It made me even more nervous.
“Ummm”, Is he serious? I am not wearing any makeup. This work shirt is two sizes too big. Are his eyes okay?
“You don’t have to give it to me if you don’t want to..”
“No no I’ll give it to you..”
“You don’t sound too confident with that answer.”
“The thing is I don’t date. I have never dated anyone.”
“You have to start some time”
I hate having to explain this. Some people just don’t understand it. “Growing up I never dated. Now that I am almost 20 I have come to the conclusion that I will get an arranged marriage.”
“Is that a family thing?”, he asked with the most shocked eyes I have ever seen.
“It’s family and culture.”, I responded shrugging my shoulders.
He still had some hope, “Okay well, maybe we can just hang out or something..?” 
Maybe he will just keep it as friends, “Yea that sounds fine!” His smile grew 10 times bigger than it already was.
God help me.

anonymous asked:

What are your race Headcanons for everybody?

Not gonna lie, when initially drawing my designs for the characters, I was not thinking about race in the slightest. Not that I haven’t been asking myself the same question since then. There’s the always the infamous fill-in-the-circle method, (Black, White, East Asian, etc.)  But because I didn’t plan that early in conception, the possibilities (at least in my mind) are endless.

“So-and-so character” is white/Caucasian, but are they European-Caucasian, Australian-Caucasian, or Afrikaans? Are they Hispanic? Do they have a tribe or country of origin? Does is even matter? I mean, Frisk’s ethnicity is open to interpretation in-game so… (this was me grasping at straws.)

The funny thing is all of this is coming from someone who looks like this:

But here’s what I’ve come up with after mulling it over:

  • Mtt (Caucasian)
  • Blooky (Caucasian w/ albinism)
  • Mad Dummy/Maddy (?/maybe Hispanic)
  • Papyrus (POC)
  • Sans (POC w/ Waardenburg)
  • Undyne (Caucasian)
  • Alphys (Caucasian/probably Northern European)
  • Asgore (Caucasian/Germanic)
  • Muffet (East Asian, probably Japanese)
  • W.D. Gaster (Black/POC)
  • Toriel (?/Mediterranean area)
  • Asriel (Mixed)
  • Bratty (Mixed/Hispanic)
  • Catty (Black/West African)
  • Nice Cream Guy (Indian/Pakistani) 
  • Burgerpants (???)
  • Monster Kid (Caucasian)
  • Grillby (Caucasian, most likely Scottish/Irish)
  • Temmie (East Asian, probably Filipino)
10

You’re an animal!

10

“Listen son, marry the girl who loves you else you will be hanged all your life. Marrying the girl whom you love but she doesn’t love you back, it’s like taking in poison. You could become a dog from a man for her and she’d still say, ‘you didn’t wag your tail yesterday.’ You could buy the entire world and put it at her feet and she’ll just roll her eyes in disdain and say, ‘idiot, wasting all this money for me.’ This is the story of after a girl becomes a wife. That’s why son, marry the girl who loves you. She’s the one who’ll make you a home. Anyone else will just give you hell.’