[[I’ve been testing out Clip Studio Paint in conjunction with Krita to see how it measures up to photoshop and painter 12. Pretty pleased so far. Thanks to those who came to view the stream! <3  Have a content Zenny. ~Munyatta ]]

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Chapter 12. December 30. Denis.

Lina looked at my back in silence. Sometimes I felt her fingers on my skin and was amazed at this girl.
All my back was covered with a smooth network of healed and half-scarred scars, eternal greetings from the past, the legacy of my father, a payment for genius. Not so high, what can I say.
Once I believed that women escape only because of scars, but several years ago realized that this was just the tip of the iceberg. Then I stopped all attempts to build a relationship.
- Is that why you have no one?-  Lina asked suddenly. - Well, scars … and they say that the man is decorated with scars.
-I would kill the man who said so,
- I sighed and put on my T-shirt. - Personally, I got to hear that I’m a freak, and it’s not like a compliment. Not only in the scars, of course.
I laughed.
-You know, a few years ago, when I still had women, one of them said that the scars are, in general, nonsense, although it looks disgusting, it’s much worse to think about how I got them and it’s probably a rotten story . And that such a man certainly should not try to build a relationship. And you know, I inwardly agreed with this. I stopped trying to find a woman and finally plunged into drawing. Well, something like this.
The girl pressed her cheek to my shoulder and suddenly asked:
-You’ll tell me, where are the scars?  I did not run away, as the others saw them …
I heaved a deep sigh. Yes, she did not. But who will give a guarantee that she will not run away after learning the answer? Chance is one in a million …
Lina looked inquisitively at my eyes. And I decided to take a chance.

Denis, limping, went to the table. I rummaged in the drawer and pulled out a small black and white photo. She was a girl, quite young, obviously not much older than me. Denis looked like her, vaguely, elusively, but it immediately became clear that they were close relatives. My heart ached with pain. I already understood why Denis never even mentioned his mother …
He ruffled his hair and looked with longing at the photograph.
- In general, I do not know why I’m so sad when I look at this photo, I’ve never seen my mother. She died during childbirth and my father brought me up. If this can be called upbringing.

Denis laughed sadly and neatly hid the photo back on the table.
- My father was also an artist, but not particularly talented, more stubborn. And crazy. Unable to reach the heights himself, he decided that he needed a child to raise him a genius. The idea-fix, unclosed gestalt. He was lucky, I really turned out to be what he wanted, he did not even have to drive it into me. As soon as I could hold the brush, my father sat me down at the easel and my training began. He just motivated me - a lot of sharp and not very objects on the back. Banal such a story about beatings in the family.
Morally, he also carefully destroyed me, suggesting to me that I should only draw and nothing more, because the other I still will not work. To all this I eventually got used to, I still did not know another life. I drew all day, to cramps in my hands, in the hope that maybe a little bit of beating would stop, but every day my father was more and more starved.
In general, no one could call him a good father.

Denis rubbed his prickly chin and stared at his hands. I wiped the tears. The voice of the man was calm, as if he informed me about the weather outside the window, but I saw his evil eyes and I became scared.
I already understood for a long time that Denis only wears a mask of a calm and confident person, but inside he hides complexes and fears. And now I understood where everything came from. And really - everything comes from childhood …
And what should I do now? He ran away from the women, maybe they immediately knew what kind of person he was and understood that it was better not to mess with him? Maybe I should get away from him, too?
I felt ashamed. Literally an hour ago I dreamed of sleeping with him, and now I think that I need to leave him. And how do I differ from others?

Denis, meanwhile, continued.
- I do not remember my childhood with my father very much. The memory is almost erased and I’m glad of it. Each day was like the rest, such an endless nightmare - an easel, beatings, pain in the back.
I was a little saved by Ani’s family. We lived in the same house and, in fact, my mother is a very distant relative of Anna’s mother. With Anya, we are also relatives, but we do not care about this, especially since the degree of kinship is too ghostly. But for you, it’s probably still disgusting?

The man shrugged and, without waiting for my answer, spoke again.
-No matter how it was, Anna’s mother did not let her father completely destroy me. I was weak, almost incapable of anything, but still alive, and this was the main thing. She did not try to replace me with her mother, but she did everything with me and I’m grateful for it. Why does she need someone else’s child when she has her own age? But the main thing is that I could communicate with Anya and it was then for me the most beautiful thing in life.
We went to school with Anya together. It was terrible. So many people in one place, completely unreal.

I do not remember how, but it was at school that my scars showed up. Even Anna’s mother did not know about them, imagine? And what happened then? He thought. - I do not remember at all. My father was deprived of parental rights, I was in the orphanage. And the father? What was he doing? A year later I was informed that he was dead, but from what? I was not interested in this, I was so happy. Do you know what happiness is, Lina? I then found out.
With me, of course, worked a lot of doctors, after all the psyche was shattered. Now I am calm, but then … however, I do not want to remember this. Moreover, we are already drowning in your tears.

He embraced me and wiped my long fingers off my cheeks.
- Do not cry, Lina. Now I’m fine. Of course, I had to tell you everything at once, but I’m selfish, right? And what if I left immediately … I could not allow this. But when I realized that if we were to sleep, you would still learn everything, I decided to avoid you. Stupid decision? Maybe…
He lifted my chin and kissed me. I did not answer the kiss, and Denis let me go, disappointed. Sadly looked out the window and went to the exit.
I waited until the door closed behind him and fell onto the bed, choking in tears. What decision should I make?


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Russian text

A Guided Journal

Based on this victorian guided journal filled by Oscar Wilde obtained from the book The Wilde Album and that appears in an entry on the blog oscarwetnwilde:

Your favorite:

1. Color?

2. Flower?

3. Tree?

4. Object in nature?

5. Hour in the day?

6. Season of the year?

7. Perfume?

8. Gem?

9. Style of beauty?

10. Names, Male and Female?

11. Painters?

12. Musician?

13. Piece of Sculpture?

14. Poets?

15. Poetesses?

16. Prose Authors?

17. Character in Romance?

18. Character in History?

19. Book to take up for an hour?

20. What Book (not religious) would you part with last?

21. What epoch would you choose to have lived in?

22. Where would you like to live?

23. What is your favorite amusement?

24. What is your favorite occupation?

25. What trait of character do you most admire in a man?

26. What trait of character do you most admire in a woman?

27. What trait of character do you most detest in each?

28. If not yourself, who would you rather be?

29. What is your idea of happiness?

30. What is your idea of misery?

31. What is your bête noire (someone or something which is particularly disliked, avoided or aversed)?

32. What is your dream?

33. What is your favorite game?

34. What do you believe to be your distinguishing characteristics?

35. If married, what do you believe to be the distinguishing characteristics of your better half?

36. What is the sublimest passion of which human nature is capable?

37. What are the sweetest words in the world?

38. What are the saddest words?

39. What is your aim in life?

40. What is your motto?

First post
have some god tiers

Extra notes:
-why are their faces so tiny for their giant heads??
-Horns are complicated even if they’re simple cartoon-like shapes.
-Karkat has tiny wings that are too small for his body. he is a bee.
-wtf are legs

These characters belong to Andrew hussie/homestuck
Art is by me

WIP/Preview - Avengers’ selfies (Team Iron Man + Bruce & Stephen Strange)

I’m working on a new series of 16 drawings called Avengers’ selfies. The artworks will be divided in two posts, Team Iron Man (+ Bruce and Stephen Strange) and later this year, when I have the time, Team Cap (+ Pietro and Thor). I hope you will enjoy the result. So far, it’s a lot of fun but as you can see, it’s far from being done (Photoshop CS6 - Paint Tool SAI - Painter 12)

windy-child  asked:

9, 12, 6, 7! (for the artist ask meme)

{ Artist Asks

9. what drawing program do you use? (if the artist does digital art)
Corel Painter Essentials 5

12. draw one of your favorite characters in 15 seconds.

This took more than 15 seconds, I lied

6. tag your favorite artists/inspirations!
ohh.. I have a lot 
out of the badlydrawn community, I’d say @dailyabba @ask-gmista @badlydrawnpaintgiorno @poorlydrawnbruabbas @badlydrawngwess @badlydrawnhermess and you too. You guys all have such great styles. 

7. do you prefer sketching, outlining, or coloring?
- Already answered, but I love coloring for digital art! }

anonymous asked:

Hi!! I just wanted to ask if you'll be posting the gorgeous watercolour pic of Steve with a lovebite (from instagram) on here, or will it/its caption qualify it for your adult blog?

Hi anon ^^

Thank you so much for the great feedback about my Steve digital watercolor pic! It’s very kind of you ♥

I’m so sorry but to be honest, I’m not planning on posting it on Tumblr at all. It’s just a practice I did in Painter 12 so it’s typically the kind of things I only post on Instagram like this one or this one. ^^;;

Thanks again for enjoying this pic! ♥

Originally posted by beardedchrisevans