Don’t compare Bellward to Bangel. A post just stating the facts!
So a lot of Bellward’s are comparing their ship to Bangel while simultaneously trying to blow holes in the Bangel ship.
Comparing one ship to another, especially between Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Twilight is ridiculous and ultimately wrong. I don’t want to cause hate or offend anyone on their ship, if you love Twilight and Bellward is your OTP then by all means ship it, do you, but calling Bellward the right ship and siting that its healthy is wrong. This is going to be one of those posts that’s going to piss a lot of people off in the Twilight fandom, though nothing that I’m going to say will be ignorant or mean, like I’m not calling anyone stupid or using slurs unnecessarily, I’m just going to point out facts.
Twilight is the story of a teenage girl who, after her mother marries a minor athlete thus moves around a lot, decides to move to a small town to live with her dad. She’s instantly taken in by the cool kids but is instantly attracted to the one guy who seems to, at first, actively hate her, who leaves for a week, comes back to tell her to stay away from him but then decides to be around her all the time. But only when he’s cool with it, thus taking any sort of decision making out of her hands during this ‘friendship .’
This is where I was absolutely annoyed with Edward. He wasn’t likable to me because of this behavior, a bit more understandable considering the latter half of the book, but in the beginning he wasn’t a very likable guy. Of course the cherished old girl likes the mysterious loner cliche is used in nearly everything. Edward treats Bella like a child with his first interactions with her, he tells her to stay away from him but is always around but only when he deems it alright to do so. The emotional whiplash was so real here and I hated him on her behalf because she had heart eyes regardless of this. Of course Twilight isn’t solely guilty of this trope either.
Buffy did this too.
Buffy is the new girl at Sunnydale high. She is instantly taken in by the popular crowd but gravitates to Willow Rosenberg, an unpopular girl who was being chastised by the popular crowd, and Xander Harris, and equally unpopular funny guy and best friend to Willow. I’m not going to go into Buffy’s super awesome destiny and on equal terms tragic curse, not yet. Let’s get to the Angel part. She’s walking alone, senses someone is following her and kicks Angel’s ass. Well, she doesn’t beat him up but she does get the drop on him with a kick. Hereafter there’s a lot of heart eyes and mystery attraction, Angel comes around only with useful information. Buffy, like Bella, has heart eyes for a guy who stalked her, treats her like a child and keeps away.
Other than that and the vampire/human romance and the obsessive love the similarities end. Buffy and Angel’s relationship develops in a way that Bella and Edward’s do not. Granted it takes a lot of digging into Angel’s past and a lot of wangst to get it out, but Buffy comes to understand him and welcomes who and what he is. She loves Angel, his faults and all and Angel returns the sentiment.
Bella and Edward….
Bella and Edward love each other but the actual foundation is lacking. After the vampiric reveal, after Edward tells Bella point blank that he wants to kill her, she still loves and trusts him. Edward admits to stalking Bella for months, watching her sleep and she’s cool with it, doesn’t question how wrong it is.
Buffy and Angel have a hilarious moment where he admits to having been in love with Buffy long before she met him because he stalked her. After they hug Buffy admits, with mixed feelings, that it was creepy to which Angel, with mixed feelings as well, agrees.
Back to Bellward. Bella knows Edward’s one hundred and one(?) was changed because he was dying of he Spanish influenza, has his mother’s eyes, writes music, enjoys music (mostly the eighties) and plays the piano. That’s it. Edward probably knows a lot more about Bella due to his snooping and asking point blank.
Bella doesn’t really ask questions about Edward, she accepts that he’s a vampire and that he’s been instantly in love with her nearly from the beginning and that he likes the way she smells. Comparing Bellward to Bangel, already Bangel seems healthier. Bella has no interest in who Edward is beyond vampire who loves her.
Buffy Ioves everything Angel is, knows his faults and will call him out when it’s needed. Edward treats Bella like glass and in comparison to Edward she is, but it comes out as doting the way an adult would treat a rambunctious child. Angel gets away with it for approximately one second before he’s reminded that Buffy is strong, an not in the way of physical strength, but emotionally and mentally.
Both BTVS and Twilight are guilty of fatalistic romance and codependency but where Buffy grows out of the fatalistic I will die without you love Bella does not. Neither does Edward to be frank, Angel takes some time to grow from it, these couples love their respective spouses but Buffy and Angel understand the limitations of their romance while Bella and Edward run towards each other not caring of the consequences. Remember as I stated before, Bella doesn’t seem to care to know beyond the surface facts about Edward while Buffy dug through and learned about who Angel was even before Angelus and learns more than what she might have liked afterward.
Both couples, because I am not going to rag on Bellward and I refuse to be accused of, are guilty of codependency, a codependency that the men of both couples should be ashamed of allowing. I think Derek Hale said it best to Scott McCall who also suffered from fatalistic teen love back in season one of teen wolf;
“You’re sixteen years old. You don’t know what love is!” Or something like that.
Derek also suffered from from fatalistic teen love before season one, it cost him the girl he loved, Paige, whom he had to mercy kill in order to end her suffering. He was about 15 or sixteen at the time (don’t look into the ages on that particular show because it’s inconsistent as hell due to the creator and writers laziness to answer simple age related questions.) His everything revolved around his relationship with Paige to the point where he agreed with his Uncle Peter and sought an alpha to give her the bite so that they could always be together, the bite that didn’t take that was killing her. His obsessive, fatalistic, all consuming, codependent love for Paige resulted in Paige’s death. He was so ‘in love’ that he decided to do anything to be with her because he would have been lost without her.
…Bella became a depressed shell after Edward left in New Moon. She pulled away from friends, her dad, had constant night terrors and did increasingly dangerous things to see hallucinations of Edward reprimanding her.
That’s right. She literally put herself in dangerous situation to conjure up the image of her ex-boyfriend to reprimand her actions because she was that desolate without him.
Granted Buffy, after she killed Angel/sent him to hell after his soul was sealed back in him too late, ran away, changed her name and gave up her slayer duties in grief, wasn’t that much better. But Buffy ran from her grief and pain of Angel coming back to her after the ordeal with Angelus and having to send Angel to hell.
After she was thrown out by her mother who wouldn’t accept who she really was.
She was accused of murdering her friend/fellow slayer.
All while trying to save the world because her now exil ex boyfriend was hell bent on destroying it by bringing literal hell on earth.
Okay, Buffy had a legitimate reason to break away from her reality, to run away and try to be someone else in a place that didn’t remind her of the love she had and lost after one night of passion and the people who died as a result of it, but Buffy came back, she decided to return to who she was because her life didn’t end, she came to understand that Angel was gone but life had not ended.
Bella’s boyfriend broke up with her and left her in the woods (dick move) to protect her from what he and his family are after she had a paper cut and his brother nearly ate her, resulting in Edward pushing her out the way to protect her, which resulted in her being hurt.
This is my response to the Bangel haters in the Bellward fandom who feel the need to rag on Bangel. Bangel was never perfect, they were toxic to one another and better apart than together where they were both able to find themselves and think beyond their relationship despite still being very on love with each other.
Bella gave up her entire life, her family and her sense of being in order to be with Edward. Her saving grace, and I am loathe to admit it because Breaking Dawn was a freak show at best and the worst book in the series, became a mother whose first priority became her child which I really loved. It was the first time Bella was her own person and not dreamily hanging on Edward’s every word, I only wish she’d shown this level of independence further back in the series.
Both ships are wonderful in their own ways, I cannot front even Bellward as super sweet when it wasn’t creepy, and both couples are super problematic, I cannot front Bangel had a lot of wince inducing moments with their blind obsession, but both bring something to the table.
I have a feeling that this post was a Part 1…