pages-from-books

I have a confession... I don’t belong here.

I’m not usually one to to say how she feels, let alone write down how she feels, but recent events have made it hard to hide where I’m at, so I thought I’d take a page from my good friend’s book and lay it all out here. To see if it helps.

Over the last few months really exciting things have been happening. Some things you know about, some you don’t. Suffice it to say life is good. And I’m terrified. I am utterly a fish out of water. I am lost and confused. And no one knows it. My life used to be small. I was a sun flower in a small garden. I thrived on what water I had and was fine. Fine. ish. I wanted more. I pretended that I knew more than I did so that I wouldn’t seem like such and outsider to my peers. Fake it till you make it, right? I knocked down doors that were locked and found opportunities that were hidden away form me. I was succeeding at the unimaginable. And then I pushed. And I pushed. And I pushed. Until I found myself weeping from a broken back because I had been pushing at brick walls that wouldn’t budge. I’d pushed too hard. And I became so terrified that I would be discovered as a fraud that I became selfish and insensitive. All to conceal a devastating fact. I don’t belong here.

I grew up on a small farm. We as kids worked the farm to help out. My mother moved us around where she could find work when my father lost his eyesight. we struggled always but we survived. This isn’t meant to be a pity party. My folks are strong as fuck. My point is, none of this is supposed to happen to girls like me. I was just a girl who loved to make people laugh, who loved the theatre and was terrified of being invisible. But recent events have put me in a position where lack of anonymity is making my screw ups more prevalent to some. And its an awful feeling. I try really hard to appear to be a person that is supposed to live in this kind of situation I’m in, because I love it here. But the secret is, I have no idea what I’m doing. So I fuck up. And I perhaps come across as self-absorbed and opportunistic as a sad attempt to look mightier than the small town girl that I really am. This is my way of keeping people far enough away that they wont see the cracks in my armour.

Here’s my other big secret. I love a lot. Like A LOT. I cant help it. My attraction to good humans can not be harboured and I am not ashamed. You look at my phone and I generally have 7 text threads going on any given day. I want to know everything about you at all times. I want you to share your deepest passions and griefs with me. I wanna know you inside and out! Here’s the thing, I don’t like to let people love me. Fucked up right? I want to love you but I don’t want you to need me. Cause I’ll disappoint you and you’ll go away and then it’ll all be for nothing. If I’m really scared of your love i’ll be unemotional, or distant, or if you’re really lucky- I might even be mean. 

Anyway this is my point: This exact life I’m living right now is a combination of my greatest dream and my most terrifying nightmare. I am not invisible and I can’t escape the love and the loving needs of others. I’m living a life that many including myself have only dreamed of. And I’m terrified that I’m just going to screw it all up.

So I’m writing this to let you know I’m going to work really really hard and do my absolute best to not fuck this up. Any of it. This is the steepest learning curve I’ve ever had in my life and I can no longer hide the fact that I feel in over my head. But stick with me, K? I’ll figure it all out really soon. 

Thank you for everything that you’ve given me and the patience you continue to give me. I’m sorry if it seems like I’ve taken your love for granted. It’s actually just the opposite. I just didn’t want you to know ;)


A photograph of a page from a book, cropped so you only see the lines: 

Dear Younger Self, 

 It’s not just you. 

 You really are different. And there’s nothing wrong with that. 

 Yes, it is hard. No, it doesn’t get better. 

 You get stronger. 

 The page is 129 of the book “Loud Hands - autistic people, speaking” and the chapter is called “Dear Younger Self” written by E.

10

Critical Role | Sam and Travis’s football feud fizzer [x][x][x][x]

“If it’s all about sacrifice, or something that means a lot, what’s one thing that Grog aka me, would never do?” 

“You spent so many times inspiring me, I’d like to take a page from your book.”

The Legend of Korra: Turf Wars Part One— the comprehensive preview

Thanks to Amazon’s preview feature, we have received a plethora of pages from the upcoming first part of the Korra comic trilogy, Turf Wars. This serves as a masterpost to see them all together, in order.

***IMPORTANT NOTE*** These are NOT LEAKS. The pages were released by Amazon legally and publicly as previews, for free. There are, however, SPOILERS (obviously) so do not look if you don’t wish to see pages from all throughout the book, including the end.

There are a total of 38 preview pages (the whole book is 80 pages long). The following pages are available (note that the actual comic starts on page 5 and ends on page 76):

  • cover, inner cover, title page, credits page
  • pages 5-19
  • approx. page 30
  • pages 37-38
  • approx. page 42
  • approx. pages 47-48
  • approx. pages 60-63
  • pages 69-71
  • pages 73-76
  • back cover

These pages are all compiled below the following “read more”. (Note that sometimes read mores don’t work on the Tumblr mobile app, if so don’t read further if you don’t want to see!)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey, could you send me the links you have about divination or just tarot if it's not too much trouble? Thank you for the help!

Hah, hah hah. I actually didn’t have ANY links at the ready. So I went and compiled all this for you. Hence why it took like 3-4 hours for me to answer this. Hope it helps!


Divination


Astrology / Star Reading


Cartomancy / Lenormand


Ceromancy / Ceroscopy / Candle Wax Divination


Lithomancy


Misc


Palmistry


Pendulums


Runes


Scrying


Shufflemancy


Stichomancy / Books


Tarot


Tasseography


* = external links

One of my objectives with my new children’s book “My Dad Thinks I’m a Boy?!” is to show kids how being authentic isn’t unreasonable, unlike many parents’ expectations. Who is stubborn between the child expressing themselves and the adult unwilling to recognize their child as who they are?

This is a page from this new book which you can pre-order here : https://www.etsy.com/listing/523606226/pre-order-my-dad-thinks-im-a-boy-by

I am a straight A student.

I am not naturally gifted.

I have nothing I am exceptionally good at without having to try or study or revise.

I love my music, I am probably most passionate about that. I am not a virtuoso composer. I am not naturally able at it.

I love to write. But I only ever get two lines of words, not even poetry, at most - maybe every few months. I am not naturally talented at writing.

I am good at maths. But only years of my mother shouting at me, I’m crying in the frustration of not being able solve a problem, and I have repeated the same two levels of Kumon 3 times to get it settled in my head. I am experienced. I am not naturally good at maths.

I enjoy science, and I understand it. I do well in my class. But only after years of sitting down after school everyday for two hours and doing two pages from six study books, when I was meant to be outside in the park on monkey bars. I learnt everything beforehand. I am not naturally good at science.

These are my best subjects.

I have no natural ability. But I will be damned if I don’t make up for it in practice.

I am a straight A student.

I am not naturally gifted.

But I am still good because I work my ass off to be good.