It’ll sell pads, tampons, diva cups, assorted pain killers, sweat pants, comfortable underwear, XXXL t-shirts, fuzzy socks, heating pads, hot water bottles.. There will be a snack session, assorted sweet and salty treats, assorted flowers, stuffed animals, people can drop off coupons (Free ice cream cone anyone?) as donations.. There will be a lounge in the back of the store where you can chill and watch chick flicks and snack and bitch about your bitchiness, it’ll be great
Hello girls and boys and others who are cursed with the monthly monster! Have you ever been in little space and gone to the bathroom and BAM, completely ruined by this grown up thing your body is doing? Never fear Moon Princess is here to talk about the glories of :
His phone screen is dark and it mocks him even as
he pastes on a smile for the girl currently cuddling into his side. What was
her name again? Ye Eun? Eunha?
Fuck if he knows.
All he knows is that you’re not replying to his
texts, and he needs to get drunk asap before he does something stupid like call
you. The girl he currently has his arm around beckons to her friend from a
distance away, and Jeongguk tries his best to keep his eyes off her tits in her
low cut tube dress as she approaches with a giggle.
“Jeongguk, right?” Girl number 2 sidles up to his
unoccupied side and he immediately feels her breasts against his arm. They’re
firm to the touch, which either means that they’re entirely fake, or that
there’s enough padding in her bra for it to be a bulletproof vest.
They’re in the middle of research when Human Jane stands to get some coffee. An addictive substance that nearly all Humans drink. That in and of itself confuses Xon’a, but he ignores it now. The Human Guide book had been very helpful in understanding the humans love for things that are bad for their health.
Only when he looks up, he freezes. On her bottom is a red stain.
He jerks into a standing position and knocks over his book. Human Jane turns around with surprise.
“H-Human Jane! You are bleeding!” She frowns and looks down at her arms. “No-no, your bottom! We need to get you to medical!”
Suddenly her cheeks turn very, very red. And then she laughs as Xon’a pushes a chair out of the way to get to her.
“No, I’ll be fine, I just need to go change. Sorry about that,” she puts the coffee down but Xon’a picks her up.
“You are dying, Human Jane, you need medical!” She lets out a squwak, and shakes her head.
“No no! I just have my period, all women get it! It’s totally normal for humans!” Xon’a puts human Jane down and stares at her with narrowed slits.
“…Normal? What is a Period? I thought it went at the end of your sentences?” She started to laugh, cheeks still blushing.
“Periods are our menstruation. We get it once a month. Our bodies prepare every month for a baby, but when theres no baby, the lining of our uterus sheds and the blood is pushed out of our bodies. I usually get mine for 7 days.” Xon’a stares in horror at his human friend.
“T-that is not normal. Y-your insides shed? Like molting?” Human Jane grins.
“Totally is, some women get cramps, other people it hurts a lot. For me I usually just get cramps on the last few days. But we use pads, tampons, and cups to hold the blood until it’s over. I just must have forgotten to change my pad this morning.”
Xon’a takes a step back and looks down at the chair, stained with a small puddle.
“That is a lot of your life blood. I think you are ill!” He says. Human Jane laughs again.
“That? That’s pretty light for the first day. Don’t worry, this is nothing! If only you saw childbirth!” He blinks again, his slitted eyes narrowing.
“Birth?” Human Jane blinks.
“You guys create your babies out of spores, right? Well, ours grow in our bellies. Then we push them out of our vaginas. Sometimes, we have to get cut open to get the baby taken out.” Xon’a lets out a horrified squall and jerks back.
“W-why do you continue? H-how are there so many of you?” Human vagina’s were small, and he’d seen a pink skinned baby before, and a brown one, but they were both so large! Both babies heads were incredibly large! How in the Gods names could they have squeezed a babe out of a small hole like that? And getting cut open? Human Illa had said childbirth was wonderful!
Human Jane shrugs. “My grandmother had eleven children. All natural. She said childbirth was beautiful. I think it’s more the whole, holding the baby afterwards that is beautiful. My mom only had two. When my brother and I did something stupid she’d say that she didn’t suffer through eight hours of childbirth to give birth to two dumbasses.”
Xan’a began to breath rapidly, and looked at human Jane.
“The rumors are true: Humans truly are terrifying creatures.”
Human Jane frowned and cocked her head. “I mean, it’s not that crazy. We’ve been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years.”
Xan’a sits and closes his slitted eyes and inhales deeply.
Now he understands why his father told him to befriend the humans, but never cross one. Who would willingly have children over and over again just to be ripped open or cut open when there was plenty of children already among the five planets they currently inhabit?
Start using reusable shit like water bottles, sandwich boxes (instead of bags), etc. so you don’t constantly buy more. And if you’re someone that gets periods, get reusable pads or a diva cup!
DIY as much as you can! Learn to sew and build your own things. Soaps, clothes, simple furniture, whatever you can. A simple google search can help you get started with that, and there are many youtube tutorials that can show you too.
Learn to fix things! Again, most of the time you can google or search on youtube fow to fix your broken things.
Start a garden! If you’ve got a front lawn or back yard being neglected, start growing some veggies so you don’t have to go grocery shopping too often!
Of course, we still have to participate in it to survive. It’s just doing the most we can by ourselves!
Dear people who menstruate, let me tell you about a thing...
There is a magical alternative to using tampons or pads called a MENSTRUAL CUP! If you have already heard of it great, you can stop reading now. But if you were like me and you have never heard of it before please carry on reading because this could change your life.
A menstrual cup is a safer, more hygienic, more practical, and (for me) just a much better way of dealing with periods. They look like this
and there are a whole bunch of different brands/sizes/colours. They are usually made of medical grade silicone and you insert them into your vagina during your period. The blood collects in the cup which you then empty into the toilet and rinse out your cup.
I will now list the benefits of this little miracle worker:
1) They are hygienic, there is no risk of TSS since they are made of medical grade silicone.
2) They also hold a lot more fluid than tampons do. This, as well as the fact that they are hygienic, means that you can leave them in for up to 12 hours!! (depending on how heavy your flow is)
3) They also don’t contain any of the harsh chemicals that pads and tampons have in them, so they are kinder to you body. Some people claim that wearing a menstrual cup actually makes their period a lot shorter because the body isn’t absorbing any chemicals and makes them have less painful cramps.
3) You only need one, for the rest of life! This means they are cheaper and you never run out, like you would with tampons or pads, because it is reusable. The only time you would need to replace it is if it started to break/tear (or if you bought a bio-degradable one which you need to replace every 10 years)
4) They are better for the environment as they are reusable, so you don’t throw away as much. And you can even get bio-degradable ones which will break down in the environment, unlike tampon or pads which come in plastic wrappers.
You may think these little guys look a bit intimidating, I know I sure did when I first heard about them. I thought, how the heck am I going to get that up my vagina? But do not worry my friends because once you get the hang of them it is very easy to insert and remove them.
This video is really helpful and shows a bunch of different folds. I personally use the origami fold as it seems to work best for me. Inserting it and removing it does take a few tries to get right and you can try the different folds, but it is really worth persevering!
I would also recommend this girl’s youtube channel, called PRECIOUS STARS PADS as she sells reusable pads as well as menstrual cups and is very knowledgeable about alternative sanitary products.
Sorry for taking up such a large space on your dash board, but I think it is important that people are aware of all the possible options for their bodies, and since I had never heard of it I thought I would try to spread the knowledge as much as I could, even if it is only seen by a few people.
<b>Ben: </b> *finds scar on his leg* Why am I bleeding?<p/><b>Me:</b> Oh, I ask myself that a lot.<p/><b>Ben:</b> Oh. *still unaware*<p/><b>Allie:</b> *giggling*<p/><b>Ben:</b> Wait how frequently do you ask yourself that? Like once a month or- OH!<p/><b>Me:</b> Yup.<p/><b>Ben:</b> Oh... I didn't realize we'd get so personal.<p/></p>
Today I woke up ridiculously bloated only to discover I got my period a day earlier. Anyways it’s actually a relief since there was a small fear in the back of my mind that I might have gotten myself in trouble, after drinking my ass off and then fucking the barman (I had the suspicion that he might have taken the condom off later during sex, which he later reassured me he didn’t but you can never be too safe with men…) I am also planning to test myself for STD’s not that he had something but you know just to be safe and out of respect for my future partners. Anyways enought of this nonesense drama, so my bloating is like… extravagant! It might be the fact that I was sick and im still on antibiotics(they have recked havoc on my gut :’/) but im feeling so bad and I thought I’d share with you my advice on how to get through this.
Time to wash all that blood off…
-A hot bath. Not too hot and avoid it all together if you’re a heavy bleeder. It will help ease the cramps though and relax you in general, we all know how cranky we get during that time. Add some vanilla, you favorite bath melt or some essential oils (but for gods shake no shower gels! Remember the Kitty post?) Treat yo’self princess.
-Loads of water. A hydrated uterus is a happy uterus. Everything will function much better plus drinking water will help release some of that water weight your belly’s been holding onto for dear life.
-Tea. Tea’s like water but also good for your soul. Go for green tea for a punch of antioxidants, chamomile tea because you’re a fucking fairy and you love your floral water or lipton cupcake tea beacause you’re on your period and you feel like it. (optional add-ins: honey, coconut sugar, maple syrup.)
-Pamper yourself. Shave, wash your hair, scrub, apply a thick coat of that delicious body butter, spray your favorite perfume, change your sheets, light a candle or two, play some music or watch your favorite series (Supernatural fans I’m looking at you…)
-Don’t eat unhealthy. I know baby girl, I know, those donuts are calling your name and there’s a tub of ice cream waiting to be bought just from you, but I promise you, you’ll feel like crap after all that… So skip the french fries and reach for some fresh salad or a nice plate of spaghetti al pomodoro fresco e basilico (Cause you’re a fancy bitch).
-Do eat though. Fresh fruits and veggies, legumes, meat… all that stuff’s so good for you and your tummyin distress. Keep full so you don’t get extra bitchy but also fuel your body correctly. It will help with all the pms symptoms.
-Exercise. No, bad girl, don’t just slouch on your couch all day. Those cramps sure are a hell of an excuse to nap extensively but it won’t do you any good. Do sleep adequetly but get up and get active! You’ll feel so much more energized.
Avoid tampons, they’re extremely unhealthy, opt for pads or menstrual cups instead.
Rinse your coochie after every visit to the bathroom with plenty of lukewarm water and carry baby wipes with you when you go out. ( I like to use babywipes in general but especially during my period as they clean everything so much better and freshen you up!)
Carry an “emergency” bag. Have some pads,a clean pair of underwear, your babywipes, some tissue and a wet bag for accidents. Keep one in your purse, in your car, at your boyfriends house, work, school, etc… Plus try and keep an extra pair of pants wherever possible.
Tampon help? I'm new to tampons and periods in general!
A Beginner’s Guide to Periods
The most important thing to remember is that everybody’s body is different. Don’t be alarmed if your first few periods aren’t what you thought they would be, just go with the flow and give your body what it needs.
Duration: Periods vary greatly in length. Normally they last about a week, but I once met a woman whose period was only 4 days! Mine is 8 days.
Occurrence: Periods are monthly events for most people, and will typically happen during the same timeframe each month. If you have your period on the 14th of this April, odds are that you will have it again around the 14th of May, and so on.
Irregular periods: Some women do not experience a monthly period, or even a bi-monthly period. My period came every two months before I started birth control, which is not ideal. If you have an irregular period you may want to talk to your doctor about regulating it with birth control.
Colors: You will notice a myriad of different colors during your period! Darker blood (almost brown colored) is older uteral lining that was shed several hours previously, while redder blood is freshly shed. You will probably start your period with brown blood, move through your heaviest days with red, and end again on brown.
Flow: Flow is what we ladies call the rate at which we bleed during our periods. You will need to use different types of pads/tampons to help accommodate the flow changes throughout your period (see tampons/pads/cups).
Females typically start and end their periods with very light flow and/or spotting.
Every single female I have ever spoken to has told me that her period is heaviest during its second day. I can’t state that this is a scientific fact, but expect that this will be the case for you.
Many women experience “false ends” during the last day or two of their periods. You may experience a large amount of time with no bleeding (I actually go an entire day), and may think that your period has ended and that it’s safe to wear nice panties again. WRONG. Your period will return!
Spotting: Spotting is any light vaginal bleeding which occurs at any time other than when a period is due. There are so many reasons why it may happen, most of them hormone related. If you are spotting on a regular basis, call your OBGYN.
Cramps: Cramps are typically experienced in the early stages of your period. You can get them before your period starts (a harbinger of times to come) or even during the first few days of your period. They vary from imperceptible to cripplingly painful. You can’t really do much to temper them, so this is a time for you to focus on yourself being comfortable (see below).
Pregnancy: No you cannot get pregnant while on your period!
Sex: Yes you can absolutely have sex on your period, and I recommend that you do. Vaginas are at their most stimulated and sensitive during menstruation (not to mention lubed up and ready to go) and period sex is AMAZING. That said, always talk to your significant other about what they’re comfortable with, and remember to use a towel!
There are so many options when it comes to caring for yourself while on your period! Try out different brands and types of feminine hygiene products to find what works best for you.
Pads are the perfect product for a period beginner, or else someone who is uneasy touching “down there”.
They vary in thickness and size, and Always is my favorite brand. You’ll want to use thicker pads for your heavy flow days, lighter pads for your lighter days. The product bag will tell you how many hours each pad is good for, and they’re very accurate representations of when you will need to change your pad.
It’s a good idea to buy at least two different thicknesses of pads so that you’ll be able to transition through your period with ease.
You do not need to remove your pad whenever you use the restroom.
Pads do not expire, and how many you use depends on what your body needs. If you don’t use an entire pack, save the rest for next month!
Tampons are my go-to feminine hygiene product! I prefer them to pads because pads make me feel like I have two tons of cotton stuffed down my undies. Tampons are virtually undetectable when used properly, I sometimes forget I have them in!
You may choose to use a light pad in addition to a tampon. This ensures that the tampon is placed properly and that nothing leaks out.
Like pads, tampons vary in thickness. As they get thicker they get bigger in length. Light tampons are very small, while heavy tampons can be as long and thick as your ring finger. Tampax sells an assortment of tampons that is ideal for transitioning through your flow patterns.
I typically go through about half a box of tampons per period.
In my experience, store brand tampons are less comfortable than name brand ones like Tampax. Do what works for you!
You do not need to remove tampons when using the restroom, but some women opt to. If you choose not to remove your tampon, make sure that the tampon’s string is tucked out of the way when you do your business. I like to hold the string aloft while I pee, to ensure that it doesn’t get wet.
How to use tampons. This video is a little silly, but does a good job at thoroughly explaining inserting tampons.
NEVER BUY SCENTED TAMPONS.
I have personally never used cups, but I didn’t want to leave them out because they’re becoming increasingly popular.
Unlike tampons and pads that have to be discarded after being used, cups can be washed and reused for many years.
This makes them environmentally friendly and 100% cost efficient, because you don’t have to keep going out and buying more every other month. Note that cups will cost significantly more than tampons or pads for this very reason.
The rumors are true! Cramps are painful, frustrating, and tiring to deal with. Your ovaries take turns releasing eggs, so you will notice that your cramps will alternate on left and right sides of your body. One side always hurts more than the other!
I highly recommend taking some time off when your cramps first hit. I understand that we all have busy lives and cannot just opt out of obligations. In that case, you absolutely need to tell your female coworkers or fellow students what is going on.
Take aspirin. Cramps don’t all come at once, so make sure to take an aspirin ASAP after experiencing your first wave. You’re not called on to deal with that much pain without light medication.
Hot water. This can be in the form of a shower, hot water bottle, even a bath if you can stand it. This helps relax your muscles and therefore relieves the cramps. Btw, women don’t bleed while in water, for whatever weird reason. Take a shower and see what I mean.
Chocolate: Get those endorphins flowing! I find that I crave fatty, salty, and sugary foods during my period, and I allow myself to follow those cravings.
Tea: Brew yourself a cup of your favorite herbal tea to help relieve some of those cramps. Coffee not so much.
Back rub: Ask your significant other (or a good friend) for a back rub to help relieve pain. Have them focus on the lower part of your back, taking special care to massage around your abdominal area.
R&R: Lay on your couch or bed and watch some Netflix. Or else, do something that doesn’t require a lot of cognitive thought. Let your body relax while not doing any physical exertion.
Sleep: If all else fails and you’re feeling miserable, allow yourself a two hour nap.
Birth control: If you have severe/crippling cramps please please please talk to your OBGYN about birth control. Birth control can help reduce the painfulness and length of your menstrual cramps.