i’m about to get emo as fuck rn but it’s fucked up that i haven’t seen one direction in 4 years but somehow all of the stars aligned and i got to see harry and niall in the same month and i’m fucking crying bc one direction have brought me so much happiness in my life and i honestly couldn’t thank them enough for everything they’ve done for me
It’s one she likes to play time and time again: roaming the beaches of San Diego, she searches for that one specific girl. You know, the one decked out in a new designer bikini, drinking high priced champagne out of a red solo cup like she don’t give a damn. Once they eventually find themselves a little tipsy, the prowling blonde approaches them with a challenge: beach wrestling. Now these cocky bitches aren’t going to be insulted by a frumpy blonde on their beach, so with a little liquid courage in their systems, they accept.
Taken to a secluded corner of the beach, they soon realize just how doomed they truly are. Oh how she toys with them, egging them on only to drain their energy little by little. Once they’re worn down enough, she goes in for the kill, pinning them in her most diabolical hold imaginable. She calls it The Negotiator, for when you have your arms locked high above your head, and a pair of freshly manicured nails skittering over your hyper ticklish armpits, you’ll say just about anything to make it stop. Credit card numbers, banking passwords, hell if they could give her the nuclear launch codes they would: not a moment of rest until she drains them of every last penny, the spoiled brats. All part of her monthly workday, that which has given her steady employment going on three years now.