p: hs

Is she in pain?

-hs

Usually the sleep was uninterrupted and peaceful before a whole new life begun right from your womb. Now it’s just the endless shrugging of the many pillows that surrounded you, the tossing of your body on both sides of the bed to make you feel at least some sort of comfort. Of course the pushing of your lover, unintentionally, to the side to make big room for yourself and the unborn one, and sometimes, it has ended up with him sighing and kissing your forehead before he makes himself a temporary bed on the floor, taking a blanket with him. You would wake up and the guilt rushes to you after glancing at the shadow that was once there during the middle of the night.

But this sleep was undisturbed and different, which is weird. You’d always think that the dreams are alive in your mind and you thought that the mumbling and whispering would be heard in your dreams, which clearly wasn’t. The murmuring grew louder as you furrowed your eyebrows, clearly thinking that someone was talking in your bedroom with someone else. You couldn’t figure the talking going on and you shouldn’t have to, after your dream was ruined by them. But before you shut off again, you’ve concluded that it was your son’s voice talking. After a few years of nursing him, you’ve never thought to not recognise his voice by now.

However this time, he was whispering, not to himself but to another voice that you were not surprised of, especially when you left the boys downstairs watching telly and you decided for an early night sleep. You couldn’t see their figures however their voices were enough to sooth you back to sleep as they were both whispering with care to not wake you up. What are they whispering about though? Isn’t Y/S/N supposed to be brought back into his bedroom while his dad gets a bedtime story and the bed ready for his son? You had thought they’ve done all this, in the space of your dream maybe, and perhaps your son couldn’t sleep therefore he’s here in your bedroom talking to his father. You didn’t want your eyes to open just yet. You just wanted to know why your son is not tucked in yet.

“How can we see the baby, daddy, or how do you know it’s a baby… um it could be an alien.” You son was gentle with his voice, the hush words had only sparked a hidden smile in you.

“Well…” You heard shuffling after Harry spoke, and you just assumed that it was you son moving to his lap, after all he likes being close and snuggly with his dad. “Your mummy and I go to the hospital where they have cool machines that can show you the baby. And it also shows the baby moving. How cool is that, eh?”

“So cool” his tiny voice trailed off before asking another one of his questions. “then, how does the baby leave her tummy, daddy?“ Well, there it is. You’ve always wondered that your first kid would ask this typical question. Or that you were afraid they will ask this. In fact, you’re afraid of Harry’s answer.

“Now, that’s a bit confusing. It’s hard to explain to your tiny, cute brain, little man.” Maybe this question would be the last to top the conversation off, but it wasn’t, due to your curious son.

“So does the baby have a tiny brain? Tin- tinier than mine? That’s cool.”

“Yep.”

There’s a painful silence. Only painful as you didn’t want to just open them yet. Although, I think it would be weird if they were just staring at you whilst talking, considering that you’ve ditched the duvet due to the high temperature and had your bump on show.

“Daddy…” the slight concern is shown in his voice which only makes you wonder why that tiny boy is.

“Yes…?”

“Does it hurt her? Is she in pain? Is it heavy for her to carry m-my sis- sister or brother?” The stuttering was cute but it shouldn’t be. He’s a lovely young boy that you both are raising and yet he still asks the questions in the same manner of his dad more like. He’s just concerned like Harry always is with you.

A deep sigh was heard that only made the sound louder than their whispering. Right now, you could just picture Harry running his hand through his hair whilst his eyes are slightly closed, with something ready to be said to his son.

The moment warmed my heart, as he knew. As he knew the amount of pain, not only from this one, but from the last birth you’ve had. Harry always ensures that his presence is always there right beside you, pregnant or not, but during your pregnancy, his absence was non existent. Your eyes started to feel the tears, ready to leak through the gap but you composed.

His consistent care and love was shining throughout even with the little effort that he has, considering that he was in full swing of his solo career. He would make sure that if he was away for a couple of days, he’d text your mom, Anne and Gemma that you were would be alone in the house therefore they needed to be there for you for emergency.

You remember the phone call from Harry saying that even if he was on the other side of the world, literally, he would come fly back home to you, on the earliest flight, if you needed him. Of course you like the company that they give you whenever they come round, but you like to spend the day in your cosy home with two of your babies. And lots of food of course.


The constant hormones from you gets Harry laughing, but the crying of the unbearable pain at some times, tears him up. As he always said to himself after, he feels helpless. He feels guilty for not doing anything about it, other than to lend you all the kisses and soothing words to calm you down.

“Yes, it hurts. For both of us.” He spoke after your little flashbacks.

“Why? Why does it hurt you? Daddy?” You can only imagine the worry rising in your son as he didn’t understand what his dad was saying. He probably has his hands fisting at Harry’s sides right now.

“Because I want to take away all the pain from her. And from you too, I mean, remember when you fell after learning to ride your bike? You cried, you cried so much Y/S/N that I wanted to take the pain from you so I can feel it and you can’t. Now the pain I’m feeling is nothing compared to what she’s feeling which only hurts me more, little man. I love your mummy. So much. And it breaks my heart seeing her in pain, and you too.” The slight whimpers release from you already and you didn’t want it to sound like you were listening in to their conversation all along. You were touched by him. That only made you love him even more.

“I love mummy too. And I wish she wasn’t in pain.” You son opens up once again. You couldn’t imagine how you raised him so far to be a sweetheart.

“Me too buddy, she loves you too. She’s so very happy to be here with you and me today.” The slight pecks that Harry must’ve given to his son was cute to be hearing but you had to some how interrupt the moment by shrugging your shoulder against the pillow to make yourself comfortable.

A comfortable silence was waving in the room, and you figured that your son was fast asleep after his little moment with his dad about you. The light was switched off and you heard both of your boys sleeping in the same bed as you tonight, especially Y/S/N. It felt like an eternity after hearing his voice for a while and not have him touch you, but he did. His arm curves around your hip then your bump, the hand resting just below the bump. A warmth breath reached your ear.

“Mmh, I know you’re not sleeping, love.” And just like that, your mind was alert to him after you gave up being silent after all this time. You definitely don’t know how he knew and maybe he’s been watching your every move with your son. You opened your eyes and saw his face with his eyes closed with the same smirk you’ve imagined.

“I heard every word.” you surprised yourself with your croaky voice, you now turned to him and kissed on the cheek before he opened his eyes again.

“I’m glad you know about it. I’m glad he does too.” he pointed his head to the direction of your son sleeping, who is currently snuggling to his dad and mum, like he wants to share the comfort with you guys. You kissed him on the forehead.

“I love you.” was said with the gentle stroke of his hand on your bump.

“I love you.” he smiled.

…ok but guys,,, remember….that TIME ..,,,,,when Harry sang with STEVIE NICKS, one of his biggest idols and inspirations, like I still can’t believe that night happened. He deserved it so much, like he honestly had his dream come true. His eyes, whole face and body movements in general told how completely taken aback by the moment he truly was like,,,fuck. Harry absolutely lost his shit. All of his shit. I still can’t watch that video without getting emotional too (so you can imagine what hARRY was feeling). I am….so, so, SO incredibly proud of him. Words cannot and will not ever describe.