if you haven’t already watched Netflix’s Castlevania, let me give you just a few reasons why you should drop everything and go hit ‘play’:
• first of all, you don’t need to be a fan of the videogames to understand/appreciate the series. I had no idea what it was about and loved it all the same. You won’t be catapulted in a story you know nothing about: all you need to know is already in the show. So yeah, Castlevania really *is* for everyone (except little kids – it gets violent)
• the animation is simply wonderful.
I’m no expert, but the colours and the actions and the characters and the settings MY GOD THEY ARE MAGNIFICENT, THAT’S ART™.
[“okay but hOW CAN SOMEONE BE THIS TALENTED”, me, two seconds in]
• THE DIALOGUES AND THE LINES AND BASICALLY EVERYTHING SAID IN THIS SHOW ??? B R I L L I A N T.
I MEAN, THE SCRIPT IS INSANELY FASCINATING AND CLEVER AND ?? RELEVANT?? ALSO FUNNY??? I LAUGHED SO HARD I know you won’t believe me but I’m telling The Truth and screaming
• as I said, it is a bit violent and gory, but I guess it’s bearable? even for the most squeamish ones? anyway, it’s just a few scenes, promise
• remember when I mentioned the characters…? well. to say I was awe-struck would be a euphemism. Not to be dramatic, but I love them and will protect them with my life [especially one particular whip-wielding vampire hunter] just hear me out THEY ARE PRECIOUS AND FUNNY AND WELL-WRITTEN AND SO ??? REALISTIC ??? I’M DEAD. HONESTLY. CHAPEAU.
• okay now read even more carefully because this is very important: THE CAST IS EVERYTHING YOU HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF BUT NEVER THOUGHT YOU DESERVED.
Graham McTavish as Dracula will strike you dead and yOU WILL FUCKING PITY HIM AND HOPE HE KILLS EVERYONE IN THAT STUPID, BIGOTED COUNTRY AND YOU WON’T EVEN REALISE IT but then you’ll be introduced to the love of my life, the drunken, sassy star of the show: the exiled prince and vampire hunter Trevor Belmont. I promise, you will be like “Dracula whO??” (or that was just me, idk),
PLUS he’s voiced by Richard Armitage and I SWEAR TO GOD he’s a jewel, he’s so good at modulating his voice it hurts I should probably mention he’s also a fucking baritone and if *this* won’t make you scream “I NEED TO SEE THIS THINGY” with pure joy, I pity you.
You are missing out.
You are a bad person
I hope Trevor finds you and kicks your ass with his whip.
• seriously, all this show needs is a chance. ONE (1) CHANCE. That’s all. Just give it 25 minutes and it will blow your mind and you will end up like the rest of us, wondering how you even got into this mess and please, don’t look at me
• oh, Netflix confirmed season 2 on the day season 1 premiered and it received HUGE praises BOTH from the ignorant ones (hello, it’s me) who didn’t even know what they were doing AND from those who were already familiar or grew up with the original videogame (and cared about it) ((a lot)).
•Graham McTavish’s Achilles heel is the Calvary sword.
•Joseph Gilgun Naired his entire body and now his “balls are immaculate.”
•Cassidy and Fiore “probably” had sex. It was discussed at length in the writer’s room.
•Tulip would probably kick Cassidy and Jesse’s asses in a fight, although Jesse is “pretty badass.”