I was thinking about the finality of it all – how somebody can leave your world in the blink of an eye and be gone forever. It’s too enormous to think about. It’s too hard. And then you’re just supposed to go on, right, like just deal with it, I mean really you’re only supposed to be sad for as long as the flowers last and then, oh, time to go back to telling jokes and reminiscing about the old days.
OTP | Old & New 1/? - Danny & Michelle (Manny) Guiding Light.
“I am – I’m a man and when we, when you and I go into our room at night, I know, I can’t just turn myself into some sort of automaton with no feelings and no desires. I just – I can’t do that. You know, when you – you take a shower and you comb your hair, you – you rub lotion into your arms, into your shoulders and you slip into a nightgown and I’m – I’m sitting in bed, pretending to read or listen to music or whatever, but that’s not what I’m doing. I – I’m watching you. I’m trying not to, but I am. I do. I am a man and when you climb into bed with me, beside me, never touching, never touching, I lie there awake, staring into the dark, aware of everything that you’re doing, of how you breathe, of the rustle of the sheets and it takes every ounce of my being to not want to reach out to you. I care about you. I desire you. I want to reach out to you.”
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