ohhhhhhkayyyyy so here’s the second part of @requiemofkings‘ original espionage-ish au idea that i just… took a stab at. i have no idea where this is going and there’s currently no end in sight, so isn’t that great? 

anyway here’s part 1

and here’s some suspense to keep you waiting on the whole “Neil” situation

79 hours (and a time zone) earlier

Andrew’s hands fit perfectly on the hook of Neil’s hips, his fingers tipped into the indent of skin where the bone gives way to squishy flesh pretending to be as hard as the planes of Neil’s scarred stomach. In the dark room, Andrew has no qualms about dipping his head down to kiss the side of Neil’s neck, lips pressing just under the silver chain holding up his engagement ring. Neil hums and leans back into Andrew, his weight solid and warm – more than welcome.

“Sorry!” Nicky pants, bursting in as if he had used the slamming of his body into the door to slow down his momentum. Allison follows him, but there’s no apology from her, just a cool look cast around the room before she moves to stand beside Renee. Nicky continues apologizing as he walks over to Aaron. “Sorry, we got caught up in some minor details.”

Andrew makes sure that his cousin is unharmed despite how harried he looks, and when he’s sure that the fool isn’t bleeding or bruised anywhere visible, he returns his attention front, eyes cast to where Wymack is standing at the head of the room. Kevin is the man’s shadow, glaring around the room in a dare for another setback.

“Since we’re all here now, if we’re done with the dramatics, I would like to let you all know what our next mission is.” Wymack narrows his gaze at Nicky and Allison, and after another moment, he clicks on the presentation. All of these slide shows make Andrew feel like he’s back in junior high, but Neil seems to like the simplicity of continuing to do things the old fashioned way. They’ll all have dossiers to read later, detailing their own individual parts of the mission, yet for some reason, Wymack still insists on the waste of time that is such a broad overview.

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The Real Killer - Vegas Andrews (ft others)

@mrs-jughead-jones this short fic goes out to the theory makers on Rose’s tumblr right now, I’m having the time of my life and decided to make a small fic, inspired by this debate.

Words: 1,317

Warnings: Doge / Violent Doge / Swearing Doge


Archie and Drughead were caught up in their own problems, I don’t know what they were because I am a dog, but I didn’t really care because it meant I got petted therapeutically. That seemed to be my job. When someone was contemplating or having an existential crisis, they would pet me. Drughead preferred to flap my ear around which is…. nice?

They were so fixated on their own issues that they didn’t even realise the killer was right in front of them. To a smelly hooman, it would look like I was simply sitting at Drughead’s side, staring into space and just generally being a dog. But IT’S ALL LIEEEESSS!!!

Inside my mind, I was conspiring and plotting my next move. I had gone off the rails and there was no going back….

It all started back when….

“Woof woof” I barked as I watched Drughead’s mother load her car, daughter’s hand in her own. She had finally had enough with FP and they were moving far away. I wasn’t particularly fussed, because i am a dog, until I noticed the metal cage at the back of the van.

I bounded towards it, barking aggressively. I heard a restrained response from behind the prison bars of the cage. It was my dog bae, my man crush monday, Hot Dog! They couldn’t take Hot Dog. 

I felt my fur coat burn with teenage dog angst, and I ran over to Drughead, clawing at his suspenders, a plead for him to do something. He was too invested in saying goodbye to his sister.


I had to sit and watch as my dog bae was taken away from me. The only other intellectual in this town. I felt sad and angry and emotions that were indescribable. I mean how could I describe them? I’m a fucking dog.

I swore vengeance on my friend/bae/one-time hookup that day. I would get Hot Dog back, whatever it took.

After stalking the Jones household for a few months, i found out that Drughead had left the house to live in the drive-in. This is a dumb idea because the drive-in has no fridge that i am aware of, and that means it’s harder to access food. Food accessibility is another priority in my books. This just adds to the novel i’m writing about the fact that hoomans have no intuition.

Speaking of DRUGhead, turns out that the Dad was high like 98% of the time. This I guess, is why half of his family left. I’ve always wanted to 420 blaze it, but i never have, because i’m a dog.

I followed him on daily basis, trailer park to drive-in, trailer park to drive-in. He had a black jacket with a green worm on the back, along with the rest of his “friends”. I assumed these were his druggy buddies. Drughead was pretty clueless, considering he lived there.

I watched overtime, as the connections with the drugs grew. Reaching out to buyers like Hiram Lodge, a wealthy businessman. FP was getting a lot of money/benefits from these deals, but being a dumbass human, wasted his rewards on alcohol. You see, I may never have been high, but boy have I been drunk.

Perhaps, I could use my intelligence to manipulate stoopid hoomans. I could work my way to the top and maybe offer the Jones’s a huge cash sum to get my friend back! It was a genius plan!

I trained my nose to sniff out Green Worm drug stashes. I became known as “The Hound”, a mysterious thief who kept stealing the stock of the Green Worms. This was quite funny, because I am actually a dog. Hahahhhahahahhah.

The drugs I managed to anonymously deal were stamped with the Green Worm mark, so I couldn’t be blamed for my crimes. At the end of the day, if anything went wrong, FP would be blamed for my misdeeds, not me.

It all went downhill when I got involved with a certain ginger. 

Jason Blossom.

He was looking for some serious last-minute money, so he could escape the town with his preggo my leggo girlfriend. The Blossom’s were the most influential family and town, and they were very very rich, which meant I could exploit Jason for a long amount of time before finally letting him go.

I offered him a job to do for me, entrusting him with the drugs through anonymous mail. Don’t ask me about the mailing process, it’s too complex for hoomans to understand. I put my faith in him. I was desperate at this point, Hot Dog was so close yet so far and I had to push myself and my doggy drug business to the extreme.

He was supposed to take the drugs, sell them to the students at Riverdale High, and give me back his earnings. I had sent him letters, written with my own paws, about how when his job was truly done he would be paid what he deserved. I meant it, but he just couldn’t trust in me for that long. He was  getting desperate too. WELL IT’S A DOG EAT HOOMAN WORLD SONNY JIM.

He thought I wouldn’t notice when he started to take half of the days profits for himself. I was enraged. I also had fleas at this time which is practically the equivalent of a doggy period so I was incredibly pissed off.

Jason knew I was on to him, when i sent him hate mail and insulted his Sailor Moon ships. He was going to pack a getaway car and be out of there by morning. Oh helllllllll no, not today. 

Jason had messed with the wrong canine. I thought about Fred and Archie, the affection they showed me. Then my mind went deeper, to the thoughts of the Blossom’s and how they tried to control Fred’s life and work. I got angrier by the second and I knew that was when I had to take action.

I waited, on the 4th of July, by the riverbank for Jason to arrive. He arrived with his sister looking like twins that deserved a place in The Shining. They rowed over to where I was, and Cheryl left him to die. Fake die. OR SO SHE THOUGHT! Jason was filled with paranoia though, his guard was up and I couldn’t strike without getting hurt in the process. So, I used my doggy hulk strength, and pushed a tree down on him. He somehow got out alive, so I patiently awaited a week for him to wake up. This seemed to work though, because I could get his preggo my leggo girlfriend to pay ransom, or the same from the Blossom’s. Nobody showed up though. I slowly started getting bored, and when dogs get bored they get mad.

Playing fetch by myself was becoming tiresome.

Jason for some stupid reason wasn’t awake, but when he did wake up, he might get away. I couldn’t risk that, he would tell everyone about my scheming and I would be stuck in the pound for the rest of my life with big man Dave. Not Dave. Anyone but Dave.

So I do what most dogs do when their mad.

Charge into the intended victim with a P99 before popping a cap in their head. Followed by nudging into the rivers currents so he would float away like he was in the river of lost souls from my favourite disney movie, Hercules.

I used my handy paws to big a deep hole to China, where I hid the murder weapon. To avoid suspicion, I would have to put my drug hauling on hold and return to my normal life at the Andrew’s house.

I’m still yet to get my bae back, BUT I WILL.




woof woof motherfuckers.


@mrsjugheadjonesthethird @jvghead-jones-iii


The Handcannon: The Desert Eagle - .357/.44 Magnum, .50 AE

The Desert Eagle. Not many guns can hold as much of an iconic status as the “Deagle”. It’s appeared in many media from film, TV, video games and so on. And yet there’s some mystery to this gun, 

The story begins with Magnum Research, founded by Jim Skildum and John Risdall in Fidley, Minnesota, they were working on a design for a semi-automatic magnum caliber gun in the early 1980′s.

Magnum revolvers had bee around since the 1940′s and 1950′s and have pretty much dominated the magnum caliber niche. While many semi-automatic actions could be made to eat the high pressures and power of a magnum round, the heavy rim of the magnum rounds made them work well in revolvers and horribly in semi-autos. While most company’s got around that by making rimless copies of Magnum rounds like AMT, Wildey and others. 

Bernard C White of Magnum Research and Arnold Streinburgs of the Riga Arms Institute were gonna change that. The basic design was made in 1985 first by Israel Military Industries, then by Saco Defense, back to IMI/IWI, then to Magnum Research.

The rest is history.

The Desert Eagle has sold phenomenally well for a magnum. The original Mark I model was quickly followed with a Mark VII and Mark XIX. They came in .357 Magnum, .44 Magnum and most famously, .50 AE. The Desert Eagle is mechanically basic, gas-operated rotating bolt, but it works fairly well and like a fashion accessory comes in many different colors. 

Finishes go from various types of black, matte or blued, chrome, nickel and most famously, gold. This includes Titanium Nitrade treated ones, 24K gold.

Or Tiger Stripe.

Passing by the pimp gun, Desert Eagle’s have had some military use, by units like GROM and Portuguese Special Forces, but for the most part it’s been civilian only. Magnum Research also sell a large amount of their other guns under the Desert Eagle name, such as the Baby Deagle, the Jericho 941, the Micro Eagle pocket pistol, Walther P99 clones, even 1911′s with Desert Eagle stamped on it. The Desert Eagle is an icon, and cinema’s why.

Cinema’s largely to blame for the Desert Eagle’s popularity, with movies such as Year Of The Dragon and Commando featuring the original Mark I model the same year it was released. Robocop, They Live, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Ali G Indahouse, Four Brothers, Natural Born Killers and more feature the Desert Eagle. Whether it’s all black or plated in gold, it’s large size and imposing front make it the perfect fit for a crazed villain or a vengeful hero.

And video games agree.

Video games are often inspired by cinema in many ways. Some copy down stories or are interpretations of films, some copy soundtracks and tunes but many copy their arsenals. And one of the most common is the Desert Eagle. Starting all the way with Resident Evil 2, Magnum Research’s handcannon and videogames have gone together like bread and butter.

Counter Strike made it famous and helped forged the nickname of “Deagle”, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare had your character staring down a Desert Eagle’s bore as a deposed president meeting a grim end. From the serene waters of Rook Island to the streets of Liberty City and Los Santos, the Desert Eagle will be found.

And that is the history of the Desert Eagle, one of the most impractical guns ever made. It’s big, heavy and in high caliber loads ill suited for combat. But that hasn’t stopped it from being one of the best selling magnum pistols ever made. It’s big, flashy and a common sight from the silver screen to the computer screen.


Prompt: You’re an uber driver and you get stuck in a hostage situation with the unsub and Aaron

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Relationship: Aaron x Reader

As you turn the corner to pick up the customer, you turn the music down and keep an eye out for the customer you see him standing on the street corner. As you pull up the man opens the door without a word and sits in the back.

“Hi, I’m Y/N where too?” You say adjusting the mirror so you can kind of see the man without hindering your vision of behind.

“Quantico Middle School, Virginia.” He says without looking. Starting the car, you begin driving not saying another word, the school is only a 45-minute drive away. The man puts his headphones on and you just turn the radio on to pass the time. As you’re driving down the main road your phone rings and you see another person heading to the same place. You find a place to park and quickly turn to the man.

“We have another passenger request heading to the same place, do you mind?” You ask politely the man shakes his head to symbolise no. If only you knew the truth about the situation beforehand. As you drive to the hotel the other passenger was staying at, you see him standing outside in a suit with a carry-on bag by his side. You pull up and roll down the window.

“Aaron?” You yell questioning to the man. He looks up and half smiles at you before opening the front passenger door and sitting across from you. “Hi, I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you.” You say shaking his hand.

“I’m Aaron as you already know. I always tell the drivers this but I do have a gun. This is just to avoid shock if we ever get pulled over and you didn’t know.” He says with an amount of serious that was still comforting. You could tell from the suit that he had a government job, one that needs a gun? Probably FBI or CIA.

“That’s perfectly fine, thanks for letting me know.” You say smiling lightly making him smile back at you. You set off driving and before you know it you’ve reached the motorway and you’re about 20 minutes away from the Quantico turn off and your phone rings through the car Bluetooth.

“Unknown number. Answer or decline?” The automated voice rings through the car. You look over at Aaron  and he nods to say he’s okay with you taking the call.

“Answer.” You say loudly and clearly. At first the call is loud and staticy then it kicks it to a perfect sound.

“Hotch??” The female voice asks scared. Aaron straightens his back and looks confused at the Bluetooth.

“Penelope?” He replies. Is that one of his colleagues? What the hell is happening. You keep your eyes on the road while being rather scared.

“Are you okay? Where are you?” Penelope asks kind of calmed down now.

“I’m fine, I’m in an uber on my way to Jacks football game why?” He says hiding the confusion in his voice trying to sound professional.

“Sir… Are you alone in the car?” Her voice goes cold and that’s when you hear the click behind you.

“Aaron…” You whisper suddenly terrified. You look at him with your peripheral vision and he turns his head and his body goes stiff and his eyes widen and you know what he’s seeing. There’s a gun to the back of your head. Your breath goes erratic as you try and calm down to continue driving straight.

“Keep driving. Don’t turn off just drive.” This is the first time you’ve heard the man’s voice and it’s more terrifying knowing he has a gun to your head.

“Penelope, what’s going on?” Aaron asks not even flinching while your freaking out with a gun to the back of your head.

“I don’t know Sir, I got an email with this number, the whole team is behind me.” You can hear shuffling in the background and you know they’re a close team if they’re here just for a phone call. You’re starting to shake even more and you feel a hand go over yours and you look to see Aaron’s hand over yours holding it tightly to calm you down as you’re shaking gets worse.

“What do we do Aaron?” You whisper. He shakes his head in defeat and squeezes your hand harder to comfort you.

“You’re gonna keep driving, or I’m to shoot pretty boy in the head. Now the gun.” The man says waving the gun around making your heart race even quicker while holding his hand out asking for Aarons gun. Aaron leans down to open his carry-on bag, while he does so he lifts his trouser leg to show you another holster. He then grabs his gun out of it and handing it over slowly, “Carefully now. You wouldn’t want me to shoot the girl, would you?”

“That would be a mistake. You see I’m on my way to see my son at his school and I never, and I mean never, miss one of his games. I’m not a 150-pound girl you can scare with a handgun. You’re a coward if you think a small gun is going to scare me.” Aaron says keeping his eyes forward but putting so much anger in his voice you shiver at the authority it holds.

“You can act like you’re not scared SSA Aaron Hotcher, but you’re just as scared as she is. Remember the last time you heard a gunshot while you were in a car, your wife Hayley died, didn’t she?” The man asks now psychologically tormenting Aaron.

“Hayley died because of my mistake. Just because I made a mistake doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kill a sick man who feels like he needs to prove something to the world to save the life of an innocent.” Aaron says hitching his voice when mentioning Hayley but squeezing your hand to calm himself down.

“Sir we’re tracking the car we’ll be there soon just keep dri-“The stereo cut out when a ringing went through the car. You’re ears rang and your eyes went dizzy and the car began to swerve into traffic before Aaron grabs the wheel to keep the car steady as you get back to your senses. You sit back up and you look to see a bullet hole through your speaker and you know that your car isn’t going to last long. You decide to make time while Aaron can think through something to do.

“You just shot through the speaker with a 19mm Walther P99 and right now my engine will be leaking. Aaron can you lean forward to see if there’s anything starting to leak,” You look at him and raise your eyebrows as a hint. Aaron leans down and very slowly takes out a gun from his holster and sits back up without showing the man the gun.

“Yep there’s leaking why?” He asks almost not having to act confused about what you’re doing.

“What does this have to do with me not shooting pretty boy here.” The man says putting the gun towards Aarons head.

“Because this car has about 2 minutes before the liquid in the tank ignites from the heat as the car has been driving for long enough that the engine will be hot enough and unless you want to die in a burning car you’ll have to let us out.” You say holding with your head up high even though there’s a gun to the back of your head.

“That’s a good bluff baby doll.” He says putting the barrel of the gun to my neck, feeling the cold barrel and the opening of the bullet.

“It wasn’t a bluff…” You say adjusting you mirror to see the man, “It was a distraction.” Just as you finish your sentence Aaron swings around with his gun pointed at the man clicking the safety off Aaron pointing it right at his face.

“Good distraction.” The man says with the gun still trained at me.

“That wasn’t the distraction.” You say smirking. You move the car into gear and swing the back end of the car into an oncoming bollard knocking the man to the other side of the car. The car crumples and you go into the side of the car as you hit the bollard with the driver’s side. As the car collides you quickly try and unbuckle your seat belt jumping across onto Aarons side to minimise the impact. The car engine begins to ignite as Aaron grabs you and drags you out of the car leaving the man in the car as it starts to go up in flames. He shields you with his body, caging you in between him and the highway wall, against the flames of the car.

“So, you’re a genius?” He asks trying to keep you conscious just in case you hit your head and you need to stay awake.

“Not at all, I made it up.” You laugh while coughing up a bit of blood at the same time. Aaron laughs back at you while you cradle further into his arms as you slip in and out of consciousness. As you drift his absentmindedly kisses your forehead. You feel it slightly and smile at the gesture before slipping out of consciousness again. He couldn’t help at stare at you as you were asleep in his arms. You held so much confidence around an unsub just the way Hayley had…

@dontshootmespence2 @spencerdamnreid Moms

@ragweed98 I love you, this is for you b 

anonymous asked:

Recently I fired my brothers Walther P99. He said it was the European version as it had paddles on the trigger guard for clip release. I prefer that much more than the thumb buttons on most guns I've fired. What are your thoughts on the paddles?

I like it. If you use your trigger finger instead of your thumb to actuate it, it starts to make a lot more sense.