p-i-m-p

To people who tell me not to get tattoos or piercings because my body is a Temple

Damn right it’s a temple and I’m about to p i m p t h i s c r i b

A N D  T H E  T A G  R E A D   S I M P L Y : “P R E T T Y

by @funkzpiel​ / read on AO3 


Newt trembled. What was there to say? He couldn’t make him want to live.

But he wanted to. Oh how he wanted to.

Newt scrubbed fiercely at the tears running down his cheeks and braced himself. Made himself tall and confident and proud. He stood his ground and said, “Because you deserve better too, Percival Graves. You deserve more than a casket and a funeral with honors. You deserve to survive this. You deserve to live the life you want to live, whether it’s here or at MACUSA or somewhere else entirely. But you deserve to live. I want you to live,” then finally, a soft and pleading whisper. “Please live. Don’t let him win.”


Je suis here and with more fam quotes

‘‘ALL YOUR FAVS ARE CHUBBY SRRY I DONT MAKE THE RULES’’

‘‘Its official I have a crush on ALL THE GIRLS’’

-a?
-My mom
-Tossed water at me
+why
+was it holy water
+?
+If yes then I understand why

‘‘musicals have ruined my life and im ok with it’’

‘‘I’m logged into my friends insta and sent ‘penis penis penis’ to someone’’

-This is my khonjin house
+I try to understand
+I really do

‘‘I dont believe in Jesus but I believe in myself
Therefore, I believe in gay’’

-KAWASHITA YAKUSOKU WASURENAI YO
+I don’t speak weaboo
-Its the madoka magica opening

‘‘remember kids: arson isn’t the answer, it’s the question. the answer is yes.’’

-WHY ARE YOU SO AGGRESSIVE OVER THIS
+FUCK U
-FUCK YOU TOO
*I’m gonna go now

-FUCK
-I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED A THING???
+Me every time I open the internet

‘‘What if my Pokémon licked the other Pokémon’’

-Need me some nice followers
+Wow r00d
+So I guess I’m not nice Stormy
+I see
-WHAT
-NO
-RYNA ILY
-U IS GOOD
+WHOS RYNA
+YOU CHEATING ON ME
-Oh shit

-I’m honestly laughing so hard rn
-I kicked my night… Thing
-Night table???
-Is that what u call it???
+The table of night

‘‘Once my friend said we needed to kill the vocaloid Len’’

-Toad
-toADY
+TODDADDY
-TOADDADDY
*DADDY
^GODDAMNIT GUYS
*I’ll be Daddy

-I stole a noodle
+relatable
^Just one?

-Screm
+Why screm
-Bc screm

‘‘I’m gonna try to be a vaginatarian’’

‘‘At least no one questioned why one of the lasts messages I sent to her was ‘‘A grape and a toe’’’’

‘‘you know its bad when you start having dreams about your fav band’’

‘‘do they surge with plastic’’

-Time To Put Pictures Of Bleeding Gums™
+oh great

-I keep finding images of people laughing at salad
+Me on the internet
*Vegans

-Why do you have a fidget spinner ask blog
+god has abandoned us

‘‘iztaccíhuatl, get your brother vesuvius and kilimanjaro,we’re goingto see aunt st helens and uncle fuji.’’

‘‘‘‘eat stack zoo watoo’’

i looked up the pronunciation sorry’’

-i just chucked my phone on the floor so i could write that
+What
-what
*What’s a chucked
+What
+Ryan threw their phone
+It’s a figure of speech
*Ooooh thank
-‘‘whats a chucked’’
*Why would you ever throw ur phone
-IM LAUGHING

-Novi my mom says you’re living in sin because you’ve never tried pineapple upside down cake
+lmFAO
*I LOVE????????? PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE???????????
-SAME????????????
+I mean I’m living in sin but that’s not the main reason
*yea it is
*get some pineapple upside down cake in your system
*it will heal you
-They don’t make that in Spain
+Get some paella in your system
*IM MAILING YOU A PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE
-So I’m going to Spain the minute I have enough money to go there
+Y e s
-And I’m gonna fuck up his kitchen
+lmAO
*I guess you could call it
*hells kitchen
+OH MY GOD
*no okay bye
-OMFG
+I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN

‘‘im a gay platypus
what are you gonna do about it’’

‘‘i never thought i would get to the day where i called baba a loaf of bread’’

-YOU HAVE BEEN BANNED TO THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF FURRY HELL
+Well I was gonna go there anyway in holidays so lmao
*NOT THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF FURRY HELL
-i am surrounded by furries

-#teenager rebellion
+Ryan no
*Ryan pls
+Dont
*You’re like 5
-IM 11 SO SHUT THE FUCK UP

-ILU2
-HOW R U DOING
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-Relatable

‘‘I just ate a hamburger of the size of my hand and now I’m eating melon to feel healthy lmao’’

-I feed him memes and gay shit every night
+I live off of that honestly
-same

‘‘hes a horny shakespearean cunt waffle’’

-And fb send me a gay page as a recommendation
-Am I really that obvious
+Again, yes
-Again, good

-why would you kill a frog ;o;
+it was an accident
-hoW DO YOU r IP A FROg in half on accident

‘‘Ok I know this is a serious issue and a delicate moment but I was reading a demon and angel AU and they just said ‘‘holy cum’’ and I amost choked on my tea’’

‘‘Once I ate like 6 squares of toilet paper
And once I ate a tissue’’

-We’re all healthy, happy, pure children of God
+Eve dont lie
+You egg
*Who’s God

-what is life
-what is dicc
-what is succ
-what is licc
+ -by Novi, may he rest in peace

‘‘Trafficunt’’

‘‘Depressioli corner I go’’

‘‘Every month should be pride month
I’m gay every month’’

‘‘they suck more dick than i do in my exs wet dream’’

‘‘Who the fuck is Antonio De Pigafetta and why does it sound like Pigeon’’

-some lady just went up to me and said ‘ooo, sexy’ and walked away
+it was me
-are you 35 and clearly recently divorced?
+yes
+i am recently divorced
+and put a comma in there and all will be true, as i am 3’5

-I want gorditas
+Why lmao
-Because they’re good? And taste delicious
+oH MY GOD BABA
+ W H Y
-What?
-OH MY GOD
-NO NOT PEOPLE
-IM NOT TALKING ABOUT CHUBBY PEOPLE
+I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN
-IT’S A FOOD
-ADOFGHAFIVUH
-Oh god this is going in the Fam quotes isn’t it

‘‘FUCCIN COLUMBUS WHERE R U U PIECE OF GENOVESE ASS’’

‘‘COMMUNISM MEANS FAMILY’’

-NEL YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE A RESPONSIBLE PARENT THAT BUYS A VEGETABLE
+I WILL READ MY CHILDREN
+THE COMMUNIST MANIFIESTO
-YEA WELL IM GONNA READ MY CHILDREN
-MEIN KAMPF
+WHILE GENTLY SHOVING
+CUCOMMUNISTCUMBERS INTO YOUR THROATH

‘‘What kinda fucking name for a state is Iowa’’

‘‘I’m gonna vore gum’’

‘‘IT SOUNDS LIKE A FUCKING CHANT WHAT THE FUCK’’

‘‘Pennsylvania=Transylvania=Y’all are chanting to get Dracula’’

‘‘Theory: all the state songs played at once summon Satan’’

‘‘@england we’re a mess please take us back
@england please i beg you’’

‘‘BOUGHWASIIIIIE’‘

‘‘instead of fidget spinners we have communist’‘

‘‘I love all of these Spanish/Portuguese XV century sailors and explorers as much as I’d love to fuck myself with a cactus’‘

-C’MON WE CAN DO THIS FOR PAPI MARX
+F O R P A P I M A R X
+DO IT FOR HIM

‘‘My head hurts
Why are we holding a communist revolt’’

‘‘MY GRANDMA CAME IN WITH ME YELLING ABOUT COMMUNISM’’

‘‘i was honestly trying to write porn i ended up in communism’’

‘‘BUJYAASIEEE’’

-what is happening
+COMMUNISM
*WE ARE COMMUNISM
^COMMUNISM IS HAPPENING 
~communism

‘‘would you like to talk about ur lord and savior karl marx?’’

-PAPA PUTIN IS HERE TO BRING COMMUNISM BACK TO THIS FAMILY
-FUCK ME DADDY MARX
+#make communism a household word 2k17
*we are now a family of communists

‘‘THE COMMUNISM MARCH ROCK VERSION’’

-IM HAVING A STROKE
+NO
+NO STROKES ALLOWED

-I’m scared to go in lmao
+It’s just the state song thing
*its the fifty nifty states song
*but like shitty quality
-THAT’S WHY IM SCARED
*yes be scared its america

-IM GONNA CONQUER SPAIN
+OH YEA?
-YEA
+HOW
-AMERICA
-AND SUBMARINE TANKS
+YEA AS IF U HAD ACCESS TO THAT
-YEA I DO
-I WAS IN THE NAVY SEALS FOR 7 YEARS IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS
+I didn’t know u were this level of meme’d
-I AM

‘‘I’m not pure
I’m just kink free’’

‘‘just think of a grandma every time i see lingerie
what
i didnt
say
anything,,,’’

-I look dead 99.999999% of the time
+i am dead 99.9999999% of the time
+so

‘‘I have a five meter forehead what the fucking shit am I now Victor Nikiforov (I wish. That man is hot)’’

‘‘Yes there are all things I head canon and keep close to my cold pitch black heart’‘

-WHAT TIME IS IT
+Show time
*Jfc Mythie

‘‘I just like,,,, cleaned
What is my life
Who am I
THIS IS NOT THE RYAN WAY™’’

-But its not an ultra detalied game so thats kinda understandable that it isnt specific
-Theres really only 4 main forms of government: fascism, communism, democratic and unaligned
+Can’t there be a carrovernment
-What is that lmao
+A government where the cat is the president
-That explains why google didnt give me a solid answer
+Did you search it in google
-MAYBE
+LMFAO

-I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BRO
+I AM YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIEND

-I’m going to kill myself
+What did you do Novi
-I did English
+Oh no
*Lmao
+Not English

-I nEed fOOD
+Eat your depression
-I mean I have a lot of that
+Thats what Im saying
+Eat the depression

-vore the sqoop
+It’s one in the morning

‘‘The leg was a lie’’

‘‘Anyway time to lay on a special mat in special clothes and be dead to the world and my surroundings while I lay hallucinating vividly aka sleep’’

‘‘I’m paying her with food too :vc’’

‘‘Make sure to get some nice communism in there’’

‘‘Did I not undestand cause that’s complicated, cause my English is bad or cause I’m a fucking idiot: An autobiography’’

‘‘this makes me feel lowkey bad no i dont wanna kill my precious baby i just want to close it rn’’

‘‘Let’s all suffer alone together’’

BONUS:

‘‘‘‘dont fuck during sex’’ - my friend 2k17′’


@prongs-chan  @stammi-ravioli  @makkakill  @rolord  @ask-ageswap-viktor  @plushy-minami  @space-asylum  @spring-gay  @ask-a-skater-fan  @phantasmagoricalcoffee  @askyoungvitya  @ask-yoi-viktor-nikiforov  @hatelikingbatman  @ask-ice-family  @nocturnal-narcissus  @caffeinebeancrock  @wanber  @yuuri-on-heelys

P-I-M-P || @tannerandthesociety

@tannerandthesociety

Darius shivered as he sat in a cold dark alley way he had been living on the street for months now after being kicked out of his own home and was unable to find a job and a place to live. “Shit I’m so hungry” he mumbled hearing his stomach growl loudly he rubbed his stomach sighing Jolting when he heard someone coming down the alley way looking up to the other with wide eyes “wh-Who’s there?”

List of movies / 2015 Movie Trailer Mashup



P R I M A    P A R T E


“We offer humanity’s greatest minds more time to fulfill their potential.” - Matthew Goode in Self/Less 

0:11 - Pawn Sacrifice

0:12 - Joy

0:13 - Self/Less

0:13 - The Vatican Tapes

0:14 - Tomorrowland

0:14 - Blackhat (double shot)

0:16 - Victor Frankenstein

“We have our first genetically-modified hybrid.” - Bryce Dallas Howard in Jurassic World

0:16 - Me, Earl and the Dying Girl (double shot)

0:18 - Sicario

0:19 - American Ultra (double shot)

0:21 - Victor Frankenstein

0:21 - Kumiko: The Treasure Hunter

0:22 - Stonewall

0:23 - Mortdecai

0:23 - Goodnight Mommy

“It’s time now to begin… Phase two.” - Patricia Clarkson in Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials.

0:24 - Ex Machina (double shot)

0:25 - Kingsman: The Secret Service

0:26 - Youth

0:27 - The Divergent Series: Insurgent

“Good luck.” - Liam Neeson in Taken 3

0:29 - Carol

“Question one. What will happen to me if I fail your test?” - Alicia Vikander in Ex Machina

0:30 - Concussion

0:31 - Fifty Shades of Grey

0:32 - Bleeding Heart

0:32 - The Walk

0:33 - Focus

0:34 - Terminator: Genisys

0:35 - Poltergeist

0:36 - The Lazarus Effect (double shot)

“Did I just die?” - Olivia Wilde in The Lazarus Effect

0:39 - Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials

0:40 - Jurassic World

0:41 - The Stanford Prison Experiment

0:42 - Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials 

“I just need to know which side are you on?” - Aidan Gillen in Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials.

0:43 Sinister II (double shot)

0:44 Child 44

0:45 The Experiment

“This part’s where the experiment really begins.” - Peter Sarsgaard in The Experiment

0:47 The Martian

0:48 Predestination

0:48 Project Almanac

0:49 In the Heart of the Sea

0:50 Macbeth

0:51 The Young and Prodigious T.S. Spivet

0:53 The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

0:54 The Woman in Black 2

0:56 The Last Witch Hunter

0:57 The Age of Adaline

0:59 The Witch

1:00 The Visit

1:01 Poltergeist

“They’re coming.” - Kennedi Clements in Poltergeist

1:04 Z For Zachariah

1:06 The Last Witch Hunter

1:07 The Assassin

1:08 Avengers: Age of Ultron

1:10 Knock Knock

1:11 The Revenant

1:12 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension

1:13 Black Mass (double shot)

1:15 Spectre (double shot)

1:18 Krampus

1:19 Jupiter Ascending

1:20 Mojin-The Lost Legend (double shot)

1:23 The Diary of a Teenage Girl

“You have no idea what you’ve done, but you will.” - Olivia Wilde in The Lazarus Effect

1:24 By The Sea

1:25 Knock Knock

1:26 Sicario

1:27 The Loft

1:28 The Gift

1:29 It Follows (double shot)

“This thing… It’s gonna follow you.” - Jake Weary in It Follows

1:31 Far From the Madding Crowd

1:31 Rattle the Cage (Zinzana)

1:32 Jurassic World

“You don’t know anything about what’s coming.” - Toby Kebbell in Fantastic Four

1:34 The Gunman (double shot)

1:35 Hellions

“What is coming?” - Miles Teller in Fantastic Four

1:36 Fantastic Four

1:37 Turbo Kid

1:38 Ardor

1:39 Slow West

“I’m coming after your boy with everything I got.” - Ed Harris in Run All Night

1:40 Run All Night

“This is gonna get ugly.” - Aaron Jeffery in Turbo Kid

1:41 The Stanford Prison Experiment (double shot)

1:42 The Hateful Eight

“Whatever’s gonna happen to you…” - Ben Kingsley in Life

1:43 Insidious 3

1:44 Unfriended

“Hey! I’m coming for you!” - Tobey Maguire in Pawn Sacrifice

1:45 Pawn Sacrifice (triple shot)

“…doesn’t just happen by accident.” - Ben Kingsley in Life

1:46 Crimson Peak

1:48 Black Mass

1:49 The Loft

“You’re done with the past, but the past is not done with you.” - Joel Edgerton in The Gift

1:51 Focus

1:52 Secret in Their Eyes

1:53 The Hateful Eight

1:54 Predestination

1:55 Love & Mercy

1:56 The Gift

1:58 Run All Night



S E C O N D A  P A R T E


“My name is Max. My world is reduced to a single instinct: Survive.” - Tom Hardy in Mad Max: Fury Road

2:05 Mad Max: Fury Road

2:09 Tomorrowland (double shot)

2:12 Kingsman: The Secret Service (double shot)

2:14 Inside Out

2:15 Terminator: Genisys

2:16 San Andreas

2:17 Big Game

“The world is almost out of water. Water. Water.” - from the Mad Max: Fury Road trailer

2:18 Furious 7 (double shot)

2:19 The Divergent Series: Insurgent

2:22 Lazer Team

2:22 San Andreas

2:24 Mad Max: Fury Road

2:25 Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Road Chip

“You will feel it on the East coast.” - Paul Giamatti in San Andreas

2:26 White God

2:27 San Andreas

2:29 Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (double shot)

“Nap time, motherf*****s” - Rainn Wilson in Cooties

2:30 Cooties (triple shot)

2:32 No Escape (double shot)

2:33 Avengers: Age of Ultron

2:34 Kingsman: The Secret Service

2:35 Goosebumps

2:36 Mad Max: Fury Road

2:38 The Gallows

2:39 Kingsman: The Secret Service

2:40 R-100

2:42 Minions

2:42 Jem and the Holograms

“How is time?” - Jerry Ferrera in Entourage 

2:44 Entourage (triple shot)

2:46 Paper Towns

2:46 The Night Before

“This is our cop caaaaaar!” - Hays Wellford in Cop Car

2:47 Cop Car

2:49 Magic Mike XXL

2:50 The Big Short

2:51 Trainwreck (double shot)

2:53 Hot Pursuit (double shot)

“Let’s hit it!” - Peter Dinklage in Pixels

2:54 Pixels (double shot)

2:55 Home (quadruple shot)

2:57 Tomorrowland

2:58 In the Heart of the Sea

2:58 Paddington

2:59 Hotel Transylvania 2 (triple shot)

3:01 Ex Machina

3:02 Pixels (double shot)

3:04 Momentum (triple shot)

3:06 The Transporter Refueled (quadruple shot)

3:08 Avengers: Age of Ultron

3:10 Furious 7

3:10 Hitman: Agent 47 (triple shot)

3:12 Taken 3 (quadruple shot)

3:14 Furious 7 (double shot)

3:16 Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (quadruple shot)

“Choo-choo!” - from the Ant-man trailer

3:18 Ant-man

3:22 Point Break

3:23 Hitman: Agent 47

3:24 Mad Max: Fury Road (quadruple shot)

3:27 Jurassic World (triple shot)

3:29 Spectre

3:31 The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (double shot)

3:32 Big Game (double shot)

3:34 The Divergent Series: Insurgent (double shot)

3:36 Chappie (double shot)

3:37 Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (triple shot)

3:39 San Andreas

3:39 Furious 7 (triple shot)

3:41 Kingsman: The Secret Service

3:42 Spy

3:42 The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

3:44 Terminator: Genisys (quadruple shot)

3:47 The Peanuts Movie (double shot)

3:48 Avengers: Age of Ultron

3:49 Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (triple shot)

3:52 Avengers: Age of Ultron

3:54 Terminator: Genisys



P A R T E   F I N A L E


3:58 Buen Día, Ramón (double shot)

4:02 The 33

4:04 Ex Machina

4:05 Felix & Meira

4:06 The World of Kanako

4:07 Room (double shot)

4:09 The Walk

4:12 When Marnie Was There

4:13 The Good Dinosaur (double shot)

4:16 Mistress America

4:17 The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

4:18 Dope

4:20 McFarland, USA

4:21 Woodlawn

4:22 Concussion

4:23 Lost River

4:24 Pan (triple shot)

4:27 Goodnight Mommy

4:27 Tangerine

4:29 The Danish Girl

4:30 Mr. Holmes

4:31 Maggie

4:32 The Water Diviner

4:33 Everest (double shot)

“I want to tell you a secret. A great secret, that will see you through all the trials that life can offer… Have courage, and be kind.” - Hayley Atwell in Cinderella

4:35 The Woman in Gold

4:36 Carol

4:38 Mr. Holmes

4:39 The Good Dinosaur

4:41 Room

4:42 Inside Out (double shot)

4:44 A Brilliant Young Mind

4:47 The Young and Prodigious T.S. Spivet

4:48 Le Petit Prince

4:49 Cinderella (double shot)

4:51 The Intern

4:52 Mustang

4:53 The Woman in Gold

4:54 Aloha

4:55 The Longest Ride (double shot)

4:56 Cinderella (triple shot)

5:00 The Woman in Gold

5:01 Chappie (triple shot)

“Speak a little truth and people lose their minds.” - O'Shea Jackson Jr. in Straight Outta Compton

5:04 Straight Outta Compton (quintuple shot)

“Each time a man stands up against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope. I believe that in this generation, those with the courage to enter the conflict will find themselves with companions in every corner of the world.” - Quotation from Robert F. Kennedy’s Day of Affirmation Speech in Searching for Camelot

5:09 The Tribe

5:11 Unfinished Business

5:12 Beasts of No Nation

5:13 Freeheld

5:14 The Woman in Gold

5:15 Bridge of Spies

5:16 The 33

5:17 Desert Dancer

5:18 Timbuktu

5:19 Son of Saul

5:20 He Named Me Malala

5:21 45 Years

5:22 Life

5:24 Testament of Youth

5:25 Chi-Raq

5:26 He Named Me Malala

5:27 Spotlight (triple shot)

5:29 Samba (double shot)

5:30 Stonewall (double shot)

5:31 Desert Dancer (double shot)

5:33 No Escape (triple shot)

5:35 Suffragette

5:36 Stonewall (double shot)

5:37 Good Kill

5:38 Hyena Road

5:39 The Diary of a Teenage Girl (double shot)

“If you step out that door… you’re an Avenger.” - Jeremy Renner in Avengers: Age of Ultron

5:41 Avengers: Age of Ultron (double shot)

5:42 ‘71

5:43 Suffragette

5:44 ‘71

“I guarantee you that at some point, everything’s gonna go south on you. You’re gonna say ‘This is it. This is how I end.’ You can either accept that, or you can get to work.” - Matt Damon in The Martian

5:45 Suffragette (double shot)

5:47 James White

5:48 99 Homes

5:49 The Age of Adaline (double shot)

5:51 Brooklyn

5:52 The Keeping Room

5:53 Room (double shot)

5:55 Testament of Youth

5:56 Joy

5:57 Bridge of Spies

5:58 Paper Towns (double shot)

5:59 In the Heart of the Sea

6:01 The Revenant

6:02 Southpaw

6:03 Me, Earl and the Dying Girl

6:04 Fantastic Four

6:05 Burnt (double shot)

6:07 Desert Dancer

6:07 Steve Jobs

6:08 The DUFF

6:09 Creed

6:10 Pitch Perfect 2

6:11 The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

6:12 Inside Out

6:13 Mad Max: Fury Road (double shot)

6:14 Star Wars: The Force Awakens

6:15 The Good Dinosaur

6:16 Jurassic World

6:17 Ted 2

6:17 Pan

6:18 Inside Out

6:19 Fantastic Four

6:20 Avengers: Age of Ultron

6:21 Star Wars: The Force Awakens

“Whooooo!” - Matt Damon in The Martian

6:22 The Martian (double shot)



T H E   E N D


Edited by Sleepy Skunk (sleepyskunk@gmail.com)