p-i-m-p

A N D  T H E  T A G  R E A D   S I M P L Y : “P R E T T Y

by @funkzpiel​ / read on AO3 


Newt trembled. What was there to say? He couldn’t make him want to live.

But he wanted to. Oh how he wanted to.

Newt scrubbed fiercely at the tears running down his cheeks and braced himself. Made himself tall and confident and proud. He stood his ground and said, “Because you deserve better too, Percival Graves. You deserve more than a casket and a funeral with honors. You deserve to survive this. You deserve to live the life you want to live, whether it’s here or at MACUSA or somewhere else entirely. But you deserve to live. I want you to live,” then finally, a soft and pleading whisper. “Please live. Don’t let him win.”


Je suis here and with more fam quotes

‘‘ALL YOUR FAVS ARE CHUBBY SRRY I DONT MAKE THE RULES’’

‘‘Its official I have a crush on ALL THE GIRLS’’

-a?
-My mom
-Tossed water at me
+why
+was it holy water
+?
+If yes then I understand why

‘‘musicals have ruined my life and im ok with it’’

‘‘I’m logged into my friends insta and sent ‘penis penis penis’ to someone’’

-This is my khonjin house
+I try to understand
+I really do

‘‘I dont believe in Jesus but I believe in myself
Therefore, I believe in gay’’

-KAWASHITA YAKUSOKU WASURENAI YO
+I don’t speak weaboo
-Its the madoka magica opening

‘‘remember kids: arson isn’t the answer, it’s the question. the answer is yes.’’

-WHY ARE YOU SO AGGRESSIVE OVER THIS
+FUCK U
-FUCK YOU TOO
*I’m gonna go now

-FUCK
-I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED A THING???
+Me every time I open the internet

‘‘What if my Pokémon licked the other Pokémon’’

-Need me some nice followers
+Wow r00d
+So I guess I’m not nice Stormy
+I see
-WHAT
-NO
-RYNA ILY
-U IS GOOD
+WHOS RYNA
+YOU CHEATING ON ME
-Oh shit

-I’m honestly laughing so hard rn
-I kicked my night… Thing
-Night table???
-Is that what u call it???
+The table of night

‘‘Once my friend said we needed to kill the vocaloid Len’’

-Toad
-toADY
+TODDADDY
-TOADDADDY
*DADDY
^GODDAMNIT GUYS
*I’ll be Daddy

-I stole a noodle
+relatable
^Just one?

-Screm
+Why screm
-Bc screm

‘‘I’m gonna try to be a vaginatarian’’

‘‘At least no one questioned why one of the lasts messages I sent to her was ‘‘A grape and a toe’’’’

‘‘you know its bad when you start having dreams about your fav band’’

‘‘do they surge with plastic’’

-Time To Put Pictures Of Bleeding Gums™
+oh great

-I keep finding images of people laughing at salad
+Me on the internet
*Vegans

-Why do you have a fidget spinner ask blog
+god has abandoned us

‘‘iztaccíhuatl, get your brother vesuvius and kilimanjaro,we’re goingto see aunt st helens and uncle fuji.’’

‘‘‘‘eat stack zoo watoo’’

i looked up the pronunciation sorry’’

-i just chucked my phone on the floor so i could write that
+What
-what
*What’s a chucked
+What
+Ryan threw their phone
+It’s a figure of speech
*Ooooh thank
-‘‘whats a chucked’’
*Why would you ever throw ur phone
-IM LAUGHING

-Novi my mom says you’re living in sin because you’ve never tried pineapple upside down cake
+lmFAO
*I LOVE????????? PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE???????????
-SAME????????????
+I mean I’m living in sin but that’s not the main reason
*yea it is
*get some pineapple upside down cake in your system
*it will heal you
-They don’t make that in Spain
+Get some paella in your system
*IM MAILING YOU A PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE
-So I’m going to Spain the minute I have enough money to go there
+Y e s
-And I’m gonna fuck up his kitchen
+lmAO
*I guess you could call it
*hells kitchen
+OH MY GOD
*no okay bye
-OMFG
+I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN

‘‘im a gay platypus
what are you gonna do about it’’

‘‘i never thought i would get to the day where i called baba a loaf of bread’’

-YOU HAVE BEEN BANNED TO THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF FURRY HELL
+Well I was gonna go there anyway in holidays so lmao
*NOT THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF FURRY HELL
-i am surrounded by furries

-#teenager rebellion
+Ryan no
*Ryan pls
+Dont
*You’re like 5
-IM 11 SO SHUT THE FUCK UP

-ILU2
-HOW R U DOING
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-Relatable

‘‘I just ate a hamburger of the size of my hand and now I’m eating melon to feel healthy lmao’’

-I feed him memes and gay shit every night
+I live off of that honestly
-same

‘‘hes a horny shakespearean cunt waffle’’

-And fb send me a gay page as a recommendation
-Am I really that obvious
+Again, yes
-Again, good

-why would you kill a frog ;o;
+it was an accident
-hoW DO YOU r IP A FROg in half on accident

‘‘Ok I know this is a serious issue and a delicate moment but I was reading a demon and angel AU and they just said ‘‘holy cum’’ and I amost choked on my tea’’

‘‘Once I ate like 6 squares of toilet paper
And once I ate a tissue’’

-We’re all healthy, happy, pure children of God
+Eve dont lie
+You egg
*Who’s God

-what is life
-what is dicc
-what is succ
-what is licc
+ -by Novi, may he rest in peace

‘‘Trafficunt’’

‘‘Depressioli corner I go’’

‘‘Every month should be pride month
I’m gay every month’’

‘‘they suck more dick than i do in my exs wet dream’’

‘‘Who the fuck is Antonio De Pigafetta and why does it sound like Pigeon’’

-some lady just went up to me and said ‘ooo, sexy’ and walked away
+it was me
-are you 35 and clearly recently divorced?
+yes
+i am recently divorced
+and put a comma in there and all will be true, as i am 3’5

-I want gorditas
+Why lmao
-Because they’re good? And taste delicious
+oH MY GOD BABA
+ W H Y
-What?
-OH MY GOD
-NO NOT PEOPLE
-IM NOT TALKING ABOUT CHUBBY PEOPLE
+I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN
-IT’S A FOOD
-ADOFGHAFIVUH
-Oh god this is going in the Fam quotes isn’t it

‘‘FUCCIN COLUMBUS WHERE R U U PIECE OF GENOVESE ASS’’

‘‘COMMUNISM MEANS FAMILY’’

-NEL YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE A RESPONSIBLE PARENT THAT BUYS A VEGETABLE
+I WILL READ MY CHILDREN
+THE COMMUNIST MANIFIESTO
-YEA WELL IM GONNA READ MY CHILDREN
-MEIN KAMPF
+WHILE GENTLY SHOVING
+CUCOMMUNISTCUMBERS INTO YOUR THROATH

‘‘What kinda fucking name for a state is Iowa’’

‘‘I’m gonna vore gum’’

‘‘IT SOUNDS LIKE A FUCKING CHANT WHAT THE FUCK’’

‘‘Pennsylvania=Transylvania=Y’all are chanting to get Dracula’’

‘‘Theory: all the state songs played at once summon Satan’’

‘‘@england we’re a mess please take us back
@england please i beg you’’

‘‘BOUGHWASIIIIIE’‘

‘‘instead of fidget spinners we have communist’‘

‘‘I love all of these Spanish/Portuguese XV century sailors and explorers as much as I’d love to fuck myself with a cactus’‘

-C’MON WE CAN DO THIS FOR PAPI MARX
+F O R P A P I M A R X
+DO IT FOR HIM

‘‘My head hurts
Why are we holding a communist revolt’’

‘‘MY GRANDMA CAME IN WITH ME YELLING ABOUT COMMUNISM’’

‘‘i was honestly trying to write porn i ended up in communism’’

‘‘BUJYAASIEEE’’

-what is happening
+COMMUNISM
*WE ARE COMMUNISM
^COMMUNISM IS HAPPENING 
~communism

‘‘would you like to talk about ur lord and savior karl marx?’’

-PAPA PUTIN IS HERE TO BRING COMMUNISM BACK TO THIS FAMILY
-FUCK ME DADDY MARX
+#make communism a household word 2k17
*we are now a family of communists

‘‘THE COMMUNISM MARCH ROCK VERSION’’

-IM HAVING A STROKE
+NO
+NO STROKES ALLOWED

-I’m scared to go in lmao
+It’s just the state song thing
*its the fifty nifty states song
*but like shitty quality
-THAT’S WHY IM SCARED
*yes be scared its america

-IM GONNA CONQUER SPAIN
+OH YEA?
-YEA
+HOW
-AMERICA
-AND SUBMARINE TANKS
+YEA AS IF U HAD ACCESS TO THAT
-YEA I DO
-I WAS IN THE NAVY SEALS FOR 7 YEARS IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS
+I didn’t know u were this level of meme’d
-I AM

‘‘I’m not pure
I’m just kink free’’

‘‘just think of a grandma every time i see lingerie
what
i didnt
say
anything,,,’’

-I look dead 99.999999% of the time
+i am dead 99.9999999% of the time
+so

‘‘I have a five meter forehead what the fucking shit am I now Victor Nikiforov (I wish. That man is hot)’’

‘‘Yes there are all things I head canon and keep close to my cold pitch black heart’‘

-WHAT TIME IS IT
+Show time
*Jfc Mythie

‘‘I just like,,,, cleaned
What is my life
Who am I
THIS IS NOT THE RYAN WAY™’’

-But its not an ultra detalied game so thats kinda understandable that it isnt specific
-Theres really only 4 main forms of government: fascism, communism, democratic and unaligned
+Can’t there be a carrovernment
-What is that lmao
+A government where the cat is the president
-That explains why google didnt give me a solid answer
+Did you search it in google
-MAYBE
+LMFAO

-I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BRO
+I AM YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIEND

-I’m going to kill myself
+What did you do Novi
-I did English
+Oh no
*Lmao
+Not English

-I nEed fOOD
+Eat your depression
-I mean I have a lot of that
+Thats what Im saying
+Eat the depression

-vore the sqoop
+It’s one in the morning

‘‘The leg was a lie’’

‘‘Anyway time to lay on a special mat in special clothes and be dead to the world and my surroundings while I lay hallucinating vividly aka sleep’’

‘‘I’m paying her with food too :vc’’

‘‘Make sure to get some nice communism in there’’

‘‘Did I not undestand cause that’s complicated, cause my English is bad or cause I’m a fucking idiot: An autobiography’’

‘‘this makes me feel lowkey bad no i dont wanna kill my precious baby i just want to close it rn’’

‘‘Let’s all suffer alone together’’

BONUS:

‘‘‘‘dont fuck during sex’’ - my friend 2k17′’


@prongs-chan  @stammi-ravioli  @makkakill  @rolord  @ask-ageswap-viktor  @plushy-minami  @space-asylum  @spring-gay  @ask-a-skater-fan  @phantasmagoricalcoffee  @askyoungvitya  @ask-yoi-viktor-nikiforov  @hatelikingbatman  @ask-ice-family  @nocturnal-narcissus  @caffeinebeancrock  @wanber  @yuuri-on-heelys

casandsip  asked:

for the ask meme: elizabeth bennet and mr darcy

ROSE OMG I LOVE YOU I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THEM FROM A FANSHIP PERSPECTIVE THIS IS SO EXCITING okay okay let’s see

  • who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter? OMG WEREWOLVES IN P&P I’m not going to make this AU okay it’s just an alternative Regency period in which werewolves are a thing because I say so. everyone thinks darcy is secretly a werewolf but he has an ALTER EGO WHERE HE HUNTS WOLVES AT NIGHT but oh my, that second Bennet daughter’s eyes are captivating, what strange allure draws him to her. meanwhile jane and lizzie go out frolicking in the countryside around longbourne on four paws and are perfectly amiable and civilised during the day. plot twist: wickham’s sob story involves darcy killing his father and then cutting wickham off from the living even though it’s not legal to discriminate against werewolves against whom nothing has been proved. 
  • who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman? LIZZIE FISHES with all her sisters. lydia tries to flirt with any merfolk they encounter because socially merfolk are considered a great catch (sorry I had to). But that fine figure of a merman who is apparently very wealthy won’t have anything to do with any of them. Until Lizzie accidentally tangles him in their nets. It was totally his fault, by the way.
  • who’s the witch and who’s the familiar: lizzie’s familiar disapproves of everything she does :( not really he’s just trying to convince himself that he’s not falling for a lowly human. and her fine eyes.
  • who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict: lizzie. lizzie is the addict. darcy keeps making her coffee wrong and insisting she shouldn’t be drinking full caf when she’s pregnant. lizzie is in charge of her own body dammit and she can have her ONE REAL COFFEE a day without hurting the baby.
  • who’s the professor and who’s the TA: well this is just obvious. :) Professor Darcy is so old-fashioned in his pedagogical methods and also THIS line of theory would invigorate the students so much more than THAT one - well, Miss Bennet, they need to learn sufficient discipline to engage and utilise the theories of any line of thought, particular of such fine scholars and prominent minds in their field as…
  • who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss): oooooh, this could work so well either way. and with any gender setup. Either knight Darcy who takes his duty incredibly solemnly and won’t even have a playful conversation with his princess because he is ON GUARD or knight Lizzie trying to convince prince(ss) Darcy to lighten up.
  • who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent: ha, well, we’ve already seen Darcy effectively parenting his little sister and Lizzie helping to lighten that relationship, so let’s carry on from pregnant Lizzie in the above and have a very strict but gentle teacher Darcy and single mum Lizzie working two jobs but still able to keep the house in order and dress amazingly and keep a sense of humour. 
  • who’s the writer and who’s the editor: “Darcy, you aren’t Victor Hugo, you need to trim these paragraphs down a bit. You’ve got a three-page block of text here. Oh, it’s very finely constructed, but it’s impossible on the eye.” “Well, we can’t all write frivolous light back-and-forth dialogue, Bennet. [which sparkles. like your eyes] Some of us take our writing seriously.”

anonymous asked:

I swear to god my ass is ready for Black Panther I can't stop thinking of it CUZ👏THERE 👏 ARE 👏 SO 👏 MANY 👏 WOMEN 👏

There’s probably gonna be more women in BP than there has been in the entire mcu thus far and I am P U M P E D

anonymous asked:

Hey Cloud, seems Tilly is running late huh?

C:  “–Hey, is Tilly takin’ the day off?”
P:  “No? Tilly never takes a day off. Why?”
C:  “–Well, she isn’t here at her usual time. About 8 minutes late, which is odd since she usually likes to come in super early.”
P: “…”
C: “–…”

P:  “I’m on the way.”

starring: @penandpitchfork

don’t get me wrong, i love eva. but you can’t call p.chris a fuckboy and then say well eva is single and can sleep with anyone she wants. like boys aren’t the only ones who can be a fuckboy or fuckgirl in eva’s case. also i’m p sure if p.chris slept with someone then everyone would be up in arms. treat p.chris and eva the exact same. 

anonymous asked:

You should get drunk with spidey.

P: YES! Let’s do it!

P: I’m nineteen, dude.

P: So? What does that have to do with anything?

P: How old were you when you had your first drink?

P: Gonna be honest, half the time I don’t know how old I am unless I’m getting arrested. Then they always tell me what my record says.

P: Oh my god.

PSA that my sister @fairvalesmostwanted, my girlfriend @themoon-andbackagain and I are heading to Williamsburg in July to see Jeffrey Combs. So if you hear of my death, that’ll be why. HALLE-FUCKIN-LUJAH I AM STOKED!

Originally posted by desingyouruniverse

anonymous asked:

All the spoilers I guess but in P&P I'm thinking that Shouto's training sessions involve brainwashing that turns him into an insane "burn everything to the ground!!!" style killing machine. Why his fire control is startlingly good, why he dreams of fire, and why Endeavor wasn't worried about him defending All Might's heir. He'd just trigger whatever switch and have Shouto murder his new spouse (and everyone else in the vicinity) himself.

I mean considering that “Mind Control” is one of the tags, I’m pretty sure this is exactly where it’s going.

It’s also a big reason why I get so stressed out about this fic, because Mind Control is a borderline squick of mine. It’s not a trigger or anything, but it gets painful to watch/read for me sometimes.

averca  asked:

Hey! hEY!! HEY!! I wanted to ask for a matchup please! (If you're okay with it) I'm 5'4, I have short ginger hair and eyes that change color from blue to green. Pronouns: she/her. I'm really outgoing but sometimes I need to step away from the crowd and take a breather. I'm not really truthful or deep unless you're a person I trust. I'm very sporty and participate in swimming, soccer (my favorite out of the 3), and basketball. I also love drawing. P.S. I'm bi 😉 P.P.S. ❤ ur blog

hEY HEY HEY!!! [ love you remind me of bokuto when you do that and i l  o v e ] of course i’m alright with it! (/^▽^)/  i hope you like it! and thank you for liking my blog💛


i match you with…Jaehee! 

  • first, jaehee is amazed by your eyes. like…woah
  • probably wrote a bit about them somewhere omg how cute
  • she also loves playing with your hair. sometimes it helps her sleep
  • love love loves leaning against your shoulder 
  • one of the things she loves most about you is how going you are 
  • and your athleticism! 
  • she comes to all your events and cheers So Loud god bless
  • makes signs sometimes too stop her before it becomes a common thing
  • too late
  • you help her come out of her shell too! over time, she becomes a bit more outgoing like you 
  • of course, this is gradually. because both of you are like that when it comes to trusting people 
  • but then it’s like, your relationship is built on trust and that’s amazing
  • she loves to read while you draw and there’s calming music in the background 
  • sometimes she stops reading and watches you draw because you’re so? cute??
  • probably asks you to teach her how to play soccer
  • sporty gfs! 
  • she gets pretty good at it and i imagine the two of you being quite competitive 
  • but those competitions end in laughs, tea, and cuddles
  • basically, ya’ll are The Cutest