p&r*

Shit Slytherins Say: #130

I wasn’t listening, but I strongly disagree.

signs as Leslie Knope compliments
  • aries: you beautiful spinster
  • taurus: you beautiful, rule-breaking moth
  • gemini: you cunning, pliable, chestnut-haired sunfish
  • cancer: you beautiful, naïve, sophisticated newborn baby
  • leo: beautiful unicorn nurse  
  • virgo: you devious bastard
  • libra: you are the most beautiful glowing sun goddess ever
  • scorpio: you poetic, noble land-mermaid
  • sagittarius: you are a beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk-ox
  • capricorn: you tricky minx
  • aquarius: you perfect sunflower 
  • pisces: you beautiful tropical fish

Hello, good sir. I will be auditioning for the part of Ron Swanson. I will not be singing because that is a waste of time. Instead, I will be handcrafting a chair from this fine piece of cedar. If I were to sing, however, it would be a heartwrenching rendition of a song that I wrote. It is called “Silence.” It has no words and no music. Thank you. I will proceed now.