oxford comma

Now, as adherents of the great and terrible AP Stylebook — which also eschews the Oxford comma — we must admit the moral of this story flies in the face of everything (or one thing) NPR’s own sentences stand for.

But we offer these stories as a reminder that every punctuation mark deserves a fair hearing, a glimpse into the glories of grammar(,) and a quiet rebellion against the tyranny of copy editors everywhere.*

*Just a joke, NPR copy desk! Please don’t break out the red pen.

The Oxford Comma: Great For Listing, Pontificating, And Winning Court Cases

Image by Chelsea Beck/NPR

You ready, luv? (Part 2) - [Eggsy Unwin X Reader]

[OKAY GUYS! Here is part 2! I hope its as good as you want it to be lol. Still working on the rest of this little story, so sit tight I will be doing at least 1 more but likely 2 for this one :) Thanks for reading!!! (TW: angst & cursing. Lots of cursing XD)

About: You and your boyfriend Eggsy are on a mission together where your limits are tested. Just how far are you willing to go for the man you love?

Pairing: Eggsy X Reader with a Merlin cameo :D

W/C: Sorry guys lol it’s 2.3k

Ao3 Here!]

Part One <—-

“Oh, god… oh, fuck. Oh, fucking fuck shit— FUCK!” You grumbled anxiously, nearly screaming as the space around your feet fill with soft waifs of smoke. For a second you want to pretend you’re just in the smoky pub down the street from the shop… But you know you’re not.

You know you probably won’t be making it back to that pub anytime soon either. Sorry Mal, sorry Cate… it was really nice knowing you.

Quickly you pulled your undershirt to cover your nose and mouth as you you scanned the room for a way out. Only there were no windows, and the only vents present were the ones spewing green gas at you with a vengeance.

But of course there wouldn’t be any windows, and if Artemis built this room as a gas chamber— well you can bet the only vents are gonna be the ones poisoning you.

Everything inside told you to think fast… that you had to get the fuck out of there so you could tell you stupid boyfriend you loved him before it was too late. But your options only faded with each pivot around the room, and you felt those chances dwindling like water slipping between your fingers.

You couldn’t give up hope though. Not yet… Even though the gas was nearly to your knees now.

So instead you ran around the room frantically pulling books from shelves, knocking plants from their place, pulling paintings off of walls– tossing everything around you. There had to be something to help you escape; a hatch or a secret door… a fail safe— something.

Only, there wasn’t a damn thing you could use and now, the gas sat just above your knees.

As your seconds slip and that smog creep further up your thighs you threw your eyes to that door again. Your heart pounding painfully and your temples sweating in fear.

Eggsy was right there… just on the other side of that fucking door. Just— waiting for you. You knew by the look he sent you before the doors bolted that he was mortified. You knew by the tone he yelled your name that he didn’t know what to do either and now you can’t help but wonder if he was really still there after all…

You turned towards the computer breathing harder than you should as the smoke rise around your hips; unable to stop yourself from wondering if he’d left you… But if he had, could you really blame him?

There was a part of you that even hoped he had listened to the training… Then he would have been out of this fucking place and at least he would be safe. But something low in your gut told you he’d never leave you… right?

As the smoke stretches up your stomach you begin to really know the bite of fear. The sharp iron taste it gave you… or was that the gas? You’re realizing that you don’t have much time left before you’re knocked out– that’s if this shit doesn’t kill you anyway.

Now is the part where you begin to give in to your fate, realizing it had already been sealed the second you walked through the bunker door. Even as the one locked in here, you had to admit the office was an excellent trap. Whoever was doing this knew the Kingsmen were coming and they were prepared. Maybe they were even the ones to send you two here in the first place… Part of you wondered if this trap was set for you alone and couldn’t help but wonder if any of this had to do with how strange Eggsy and Merlin seemed.

Stop. You’re acting crazy because you’re about to die right now. Don’t do the thing you always do and sabotage the only fucking good thing you have, kay? Kay.

After the brief reminder you realize the only thing you do know is that you’re royally fucked. As your father would say, ‘you got dealt a real bad hand of cards, baby.’ Right now, you know you should be thinking of a way to get out— a way to turn that shitty hand into a winning one. That you should be putting your fucking training to use, but all you can worry about is whether or not Eggsy knew you loved him… Whether you’d see him again or ever have the chance to choke on the words you’d never said.

You wish instead of feeling fear that you could just think about his smile, or the first time he kissed you outside the tailor shop. Hell, you’d even relive the crappy times if it meant you could get out of here in one piece. If it meant you could just watch one more shitty action movie with him…

But the smoke is floating around your chest now and as you watch it rise you know you have less than 60 second left of lucidity. You don’t know why but for some reason you turned for the computer, grabbing either side of the monitor– shaking it fiercely. Watching that little dragon flap its wings almost as if it was taunting you.

Maybe the little shit was. But in that moment you remembered that dragon… where… where had I— s-een it?

Now the smoke is pressing at your neck while it tickle at your nose… You’re starting to feel strange like everything is light and you’re almost floating in that olive green cloud. Yet somehow your limbs are heavy, like you’d been filled to the brim with wet sand. And in that moment the feeling of salted water filling your lungs came rushing back.

You want to stay awake, you want to breath fresh air into your tired lungs… to fight. But you know you can’t.

And now you can’t even open your eyes without seeing the thick green closing in around you. You can hardly move your legs and all you want to do is rest…

You throw heavy hands to the desk feeling your wrists tremble beneath the unsteadiness of you elbows as you sink…. lower and lower until your face is flat on the desk. All you can see through the fog is that damn dragon flapping its fucking wings at you.

Deep in your pool of emerald you know whatever happens next is likely to be the end… Your eyes fight the pull of sleep as you slide to the ground the last thing you feel is regret.

The last thing you see is Eggsy and the last thing you hear is Merlin reminding you that you were never really safe… even when you were.


(Eggsy P.o.V)

He probably would have been better at controlling the tone he’d taken had he not felt his whole world crumbling around him. Maybe he could control the thoughts that ran rampant through the jungle of his mind if he knew what the outcome would be.

Maybe he could focus or be able to breathe if he just fucking knew whether or not he would see you again… Whether or not that would actually be the last time he kissed you, or smelled your skin… Whether his last words to you would have been ‘Wha’s that?’ and not ‘I fucking love you.’

That’s the thing though… he didn’t know.

He didn’t know if you were alive or dead and that thought alone was enough to shatter whatever composure he had glued together earlier in the day. “Merlin! What the fucks happenin’?”

The voice he used was panicked, pleading even as he pace the space of the door you were locked behind. There were still men accosting him from the end of the narrow hallway, only now there was a loud siren and dull lights echoing around him as he fight. But even in his fevered panic he crushed each man that dared cross his path with ease.

“It’s hard to say…”

“What the fuck d'you mean ‘it’s hard to say’… she’s alright, ain’t she?” This is the part where he fills with fear as he press his back to the cold metal door you’re pinned behind. In that moment he knows just what Merlin is going to tell him to do…

“Galahad, you need to calm down, and get back to the car… Remember your training, follow protocol.”

Training said to get back to the rendezvous point when something like this happened.

Protocol said to have backup before attempting a rescue mission, even of this nature.

He knew his training and what rules he was meant to follow, he even knew why they were rules in the first place: to save lives. To stop impulsivity and hopefully ensile some lessons about patience or the importance of planning. The recklessness of an emotional mind.

And usually? He wouldn’t have a problem following his training or obeying his orders. He really did know those rules were set for a reason, because they had saved lives… because they would keep saving lives.

But he didn’t give a two shits because none of those lives in question had been yours.

He knew it wasn’t his responsibility to protect you, that you could take care of yourself easy— but he wanted to keep you safe and he knew that the two of you would always be better as a pair than you’d ever be apart.

“Oh, just fuck off with protocol, will ya?” It was a question— technically, but he surely didn’t present it that way. Knowing he was overstepping the rules of seniority wasn’t enough to stop him though and he continued heatedly. “You expect me to leave her then, yeah?”

He knew the fucking protocol, but was Merlin really suggesting that he leave you?


“Just walk away? You really suggestin’ I let her die?” He interrupted again, a sea of terror filled anxiety flushing and surrounding him like a tornado of wasps as his voice raise an octave louder.

Something told him that if he left you… that if he left even for a second it would be too late, and he was not about to let that happen.

Not to you. Not after everything you’d been through or after everything you’d done for him.

It’s about now that he wishes he told you just how precious you were to him… how you even saved him, as cheesy as it sounds.

It wasn’t until he met you that he realized how hard losing Harry had been for him. He had drank himself nearly to death for a couple weeks there, even started random brawls with strangers just trying to feel something else. He wanted to be the man Harry knew he could, but he only fell short every time.

The worst part of it all was that he still remembered everything about that day. The way Harry lost control of his body and murdered all those people… The color of Harry’s suit and what hat he himself had been wearing. He even remembered what it looked like when Valentine pulled the fucking trigger. God did he remember it all, and for weeks it haunted him. It haunted his days and nights alike with no prejudice whatsoever and it was relentless.

But one day just like any other, you were brought in as a potential recruit; and he never told you this but he thought you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Now as he panic sinking deeper into dissociation, he wish he had.

It was weird because that first time he locked eyes with you, he could have sworn you’d be his as crazy as that sounds. But he just knew…

He had only been named Galahad for just over a month, and was assigned to be your trainer. Actually he was the one that asked you to pull the trigger that final day— sending you a smile when at first you wouldn’t. He didn’t tell you it was a blank, but he hoped his eyes had.

And he was the one to fall arse over tit in love with you along the way.

It was more than love though, he needed you. Sure, he could probably function without you like he ‘functioned’ without Harry… but why should he have to? Why chose a life that didn’t have you in it? Why leave when he could save you…

“Eggsy, please… Will you just listen to me?” Merlin was soft when he spoke, and even kinder as he continued. “I’m not suggesting you leave her. Never.” He was understanding and in that moment it seemed like he realize how serious you two actually were. You weren’t just some silly fling or some harmless fun Eggsy was having… it was real. “But if you want to save her, you need to focus. Tell me exactly what happened before you were separated.”

After drawing in a long breath, basking in the break of fighting and his own paranoia he run his hands through his hair replaying it all. “She was workin’ on that git’s computer, yeah? And then… I don’t know, somethin’ upset her— she was goin’ on bout the system actin’ all strange… ” His voice trailed off.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized just how off everything had been. “It was all a trap, Merlin… From the very fuckin’ beginning— I told you somethin’ wasn’t right.”

After a second Merlin replied, his voice was stern but lined with apathy. “I should have listened to you… I’m sorry.”

He could tell that Merlin meant it and in that moment all the anger he had felt disappeared. Now all that lingered was the thick weight of regret. “If I lose her ‘cause of this, I won’t forgive you.”

Merlin sighed heavily into his mic before finishing, his tone dark and matching Eggsy’s own. “I wouldn’t either.”

—Part 3!

Was anyone watching Jeopardy tonight? This answer was featured. (They eventually put an Oxford comma in to separate the words Superman and Wonder Woman)

Thanks to Amy Gale for sharing!

Use the comma.  Not that there is anything amiss  as seeing your parents as or wishing they were Superman and Wonder Woman.;)