ows

  • D.Va: *On the floor swinging around a handheld* *Opens mouth and receives projectile dorito*
  • Orisa: *Throws another dorito* How could I do this? How could I be so stupid?! This could destroy Numbani…
  • Bastion: Nubani?! Who cares about Numbani?! What about US?! That THING is a killing machine!
  • D.Va: *Squirming on the floor focused on a game*
  • Bastion: I bet it’s just waiting for us to fall asleep… And then WHAM! We’re easy prey my friend, easy prey, we’re sitting targets…
  • D.Va: *Chugs entire thing of mountain dew*
  • Bastion: Ok look, I think I have a plan here, using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild!
  • Orisa: … Spoons?
  • Bastion: That’s it, I’m out of ideas. *Tosses blueprint* We’re closed. Airship? Too expensive. Giant gravity cannon? Too conspicuous. Payload cart? Too objective!
  • submitted by testsubject276

After a hard mission, Gabe and Jack hoped to steal junk food from the fridge and hit the sack hard and long.

They managed to stumble his way to the kitchen and went rooting through the fridge first, looking for quick and easy things to grab. Luckily some of younger operatives went shopping last so there were ready to eat things of food just waiting to be grabbed. He grabbed a thing of sushi and two colas and was about to ease out to see how Jack’s raiding the cupboards was going when he heard something behind him.

Quickly he turned around and saw—

“…who are you?” He asked as Jack eased out of the cupboard with a bag of chips.

A young girl hummed happily as she dug around in a cupboard and came out with a bottle of juice. She hummed as she unscrewed it and started to sip, turning and seeing them and freezing like a deer in headlights.

“Mmeeeellllooodddddyyyy?” Lúcio called, wheeling into the doorway. “Oh, there she is… uh… hi Gabe…”

“Why is there a kid on base?” He asked as Lúcio wheeled in behind the girl and gently tapped her shoulder. She wheeled around, visibly relaxing at the sight of Lúcio before eagerly crawling into his lap and squeezing close to him.

“This isn’t a place for children,” Jack pointed out.

“Uh… well… I sort of… adopted her? And since I live here she lives with… me,” Lúcio grinned sheepishly.

“…okay,” He said quietly, “What’s her name?”

“Melody,” Lúcio grinned before gently tapping Melody’s shoulder. Lúcio attempted several rather basic hand signs.

“Hard of hearing?” He asked.

“Uh yeah, we’re both learning ASL, she knows more than me though,” Lúcio chuckled.

“Here…” He said. Melody was pointed his way and he sighed out that his name was Gabriel and it was nice to meet her. Melody broke out into a grin and eagerly signed out that it was nice to meet him too.

“Wait, you know ASL?” Lúcio asked incredulously.

“Blackwatch, I had a few people that used ASL to communicate,” He explained. “Learned to better communicate with them.

“It was also standard procedure for any commanding officer in Blackwatch and Overwatch,” Jack said as he popped open the bag of chips.

“Man, everyone knows more ASL than me,” Lúcio sighed.

“I can teach you some, it’s easy once you get the hang of it,” He shrugged, “Tell you what, I’ll even look after little Melody if you need a sitter.”

“…Bro I love you,” Lúcio said as he walked out of the room with his snacks.

“Yeah yeah, nap time now though,” He said as he left.

“Why did you just volunteer us for babysitting duties?” Jack asked.

“Closest thing we’ll get to grandkids for awhile, Jackie,” He smirked, “I want to enjoy this.”

Lesson 21: Plant Care 101

By: Chief Moderator Bee

Live Lesson: 2/24/17 @ 7:00PM

Summary: This lesson provides a basic overview of the knowledge a beginner will need to successfully grow plants. It is not intended to be a class on green witchcraft specifically, though there may be elements of witchcraft incorporated.

ANATOMY OF A PLANT

  • Shoot system: portion of plant above ground
  • Root system: portion of plant below ground
  • Flower: the reproductive organs of a plant, consists of modified leaves
  • Bud: site of new growth
  • Node: point where leaf diverges from stem
  • Leaf: photosynthetic organ, consists of blade and petiole
  • Root: anchors plant and provides water and nutrients from soil

PLANT NEEDS

  • Sunlight
    • Plants require sunlight for photosynthesis. The amount required per plant is variable, but most prefer medium or indirect light. In the Northern Hemisphere, a southern or southwest window provides the most light, followed by east windows or bright spots in sunny rooms, followed by a north window (not preferred).
  • Water
    • Plants also require water. Again, this varies widely, but the most common watering frequency is 1-2 times per week. I personally prefer the finger test, which is simply sticking your finger about 1” into the soil and checking for dryness. If the soil is totally dry, water the plant thoroughly. Thorough watering should allow water to drip from the bottom of the plant, in order to ensure sufficient saturation. In addition, many plants will benefit from a humid environment.
  • Soil
    • There are many different types of soil, but a few are more common than others. Potting soil, topsoil, garden soil, succulent/cactus soil, seed starter mix, compost, and orchid soil are the most common. Potting soil is soil that has been mixed to provide the best environment for potted plants. Garden soil is usually topsoil with compost or manure added, and should NOT be used in pots, as it is very dense. Topsoil is simply the first layer of soil. Succulent/cactus soil has sand added, seed starter mix is used to grow seedlings, compost is almost entirely decaying organic matter, and orchid soil is formulated with bark and moss to ensure healthy orchid growth.
  • Space/Container
    • Proper spacing of plants is most important in outdoor gardens, to ensure room to grow and proper air circulation. With potted plants, the container itself is most important. A container should be large enough for the plant, with room to grow, and have at least one drainage hole in the bottom. Clay readily absorbs water, and is preferred for many plants to prevent them from sitting in water. Plastic and metal are also very common, as is glass jars and bottles. I frequently re-purpose containers as plant pots (and it gives me an excuse to have ice cream).
  • Circulation
    • In order to prevent mold and other fungi, proper air circulation is necessary. It will also help strengthen a young plant. Keep in mind, strong winds can harm plants.
  • Warmth
    • Plants enjoy warmth. Many will be fine at room temperature, but some prefer more or less – research accordingly. Warmth is most important for seeds and seedlings, because they use the heat to tell when it’s time to germinate. I typically wrap my seedling in a heating pad to encourage germination.

PLANTING SEEDS

When planting seeds, not only should you read the seed packet for information, but do your own research! Google is your new best friend, if it wasn’t already. Seeds vary in preferred depth, soil type, soil density, spacing, warmth, and water, so keep this in mind. Knowing where the plant is from and the general climate there can be very helpful! For example, rosemary is Mediterranean, so it likes lots of sun, somewhat sandy soils, warm temperature, and little water. You don’t have to go memorize average daily rainfall in that region, but it helps to have a general idea.

MAINTENANCE

Maintenance is fairly simple. Outside of the basic needs of a plant, there are a few more to look for. As a plant grows, the root system will grow too. A plant can become “root bound” if it outgrows a pot, which can be very unhealthy, though some plants are more tolerant than others.

To repot, gently lift the plant up by pinching the base and wiggling the plant carefully to help the roots loosen from the soil. You can use your fingers to work the dirt clumps out of the roots, if necessary. If the plant is really stuck, press your hand flat against the soil, with the stem of the plant between your thumb and first finger. Flip the pot upside down (expect a small rain of loose earth) and give the bottom of the pot a sharp smack. Be ready for the weight of the plant to suddenly shift when it comes out! Then you can proceed to loosen the roots and repot. After you’ve gotten the plant itself out, replant it in a larger pot and bury to cover the roots. Most plants won’t mind having part of their stem buried as well, but some get fussy, so keep that in mind.

The other main maintenance that should be done is pruning. Pruning encourages the axillary buds to grow, creating a new branch where the leaf was cut. Many plants require pruning to be fully healthy. For non-woody plants, simply use a sharp knife, scissors, or your nails (wash your hands!) to cut the leaf away as close to the stem as possible. Wait a bit, and you will likely see a new branch! You can also cut the stem above a node to encourage growth. Depending on the growth pattern, you may get one, two, or even more new branches. In addition, some plants benefit from flower pruning (to encourage growth rather than fruiting) or deadheading (removing dead flower heads to encourage new ones). For example, it is recommended that the flowers immediately be plucked from strawberries in their first year, to encourage them to grow “daughter” plants and result in a larger crop next year.

PROPAGATING

Propagating is the means of producing new plants. There are various methods, but seeds, cuttings, and offshoots are the most common.

Seeds are easy, but require time or money. It takes time for a mature plant to produce seed, plus they need to be pollinated either by hand or by bees or other pollinators, so this may not be ideal.

Cuttings are popular as an “instant gratification” method (my favorite!). Simply take a cutting of a plant by slicing above the node of the stem. The chosen cutting should have several sets of leaves for best results, and it should be a segment of new growth (especially important in woody plants) with no flowers. Pinch or cut off all but a few pairs of leaves near the top, leaving 2-3 bare nodes. Place in water or soil. For water, replace every few days to replenish dissolved oxygen. For soil, keep moist, but not wet. I personally prefer water because I can easily track development, but some claim better success with soil. If using soil, sometimes a rooting hormone may be applied to encourage root growth.

Offshoots are new baby plants that have grown from the root system, stem, or rhizome of an adult plant. To propagate using them, wait until they have several sets of leaves, then use the methods described in the segment about repotting (Maintenance) to expose the roots. With a clean knife, carefully cut the baby plant away from the parent, making sure that it receives a portion of the roots. If the plant has a rhizome, cut so that the baby plant gets a small portion of the rhizome. Repot using previously discussed methods. If the rhizome is large, you can allow it to heal for a few days by setting it in a cool, dry place. This can help prevent infection or rot, but is not a requirement.

Propagating succulents is quite similar to propagating cuttings, though some, like aloe, produce offshoots called pups. In the case of propagating succulents from leaves, only some are fit for this. Use succulents whose leaves pop off easily. Select a healthy, whole leaf and pop it off, then let it sit on soil (not in!). Ignore it for a while and eventually it will produce new roots! For pups, treat them like offshoots (they are a type of offshoot), but do not water for at least a week after repotting. This encourages healthy root development.

TROUBLESHOOTING

Diagnosing plants can be tricky. Below are some common symptoms and potential causes. Be sure to research the plant in question, as some plants are more susceptible to certain illnesses, pests, or conditions.

  • YELLOWING LEAVES – too much/not enough light, high temperature, root bound
    • YOUNG LEAVES – not enough light, overfertilization, mineral deficiency
    • OLD LEAVES – overwatering, natural aging, root bound, root rot, major element deficiency
  • DEAD OR YELLOW SPOTS ON LEAVES – fungal, bacterial, or viral infection, fluoride toxicity, pesticide damage
    • IRREGULAR – pesticide damage, cold water damage, thrips, air pollution
  • MOSAIC PATTERN ON LEAVES – viral infection, high temperature, pesticide damage, major element deficiency
  • VERY DARK, LIMP LEAVES – cold/frostbite injuries, crushing, bacterial infection
  • SMALL LEAVES – low light (in conjunction with spindly stem), too much/not enough fertilizer, low humidity, root rot
  • LEAVES FALLING OFF – overfertilization, overwatering, cold injuries, low light, root rot, natural cycle
  • WILTED/DROOPING LEAVESoverwatering, underwatering (soil pulling away from side of pot), overfertilization, root rot, stem rot, root bound
  • ABNORMAL SUBSTANCE ON LEAF
    • WHITE, POWDERY – powdery mildew
    • BLACK, PATCHY – sooty mold
    • STICKY – insect activity, natural secretion by plant
  • STEM ROTTED – fungal or bacterial disease
    • AT SOIL LINE – overwatering
    • ABOVE SOIL LINE – sunburn
  • TALL, THIN STEM – not enough light
  • SLOW GROWTH – not enough light, compacted soil, too much/not enough fertilization, too much/not enough water, root rot
  • NO ROOTS – unsuccessful cutting
  • ROOTS CLOSE TO SURFACE – hot surface, overwatering, compacted soil, erosion
  • DARK, LIMP ROOTS – overwatering, overfertilization, root rot


PLANTS FOR BEGINNERS

BASILOcimum basilicum, 6-8 hours full sun, frost sensitive, likes warm conditions, easy to grow from seed or cuttings, likes moist (not wet!) soil


SNAKE PLANTSanseveria trifasciata, indestructible, rhizomatous, drought tolerant, neglect tolerant, medium indirect light (perfect indoor/bathroom plant!), propagate through offshoots or leaf cuttings


ALOEAloe vera, 6-8 hours indirect sunlight, sunburn sensitive, frost sensitive, prone to root rot, needs cactus/succulent soil, picky about water (water when dry to 1.5”-2”/3.5-5 cm), propagate through pups


WANDERING JEWTradescantia zebrina, I DIDN’T NAME THIS, 4-6 hours full/indirect sun, likes warm conditions, overwatering tolerant (avoid watering directly on leaves), propagates easily through cuttings


ROSEMARYRosmarinus officinalis, 6-8 hours full sun, likes warm conditions, frost sensitive, somewhat drought tolerant, prone to root rot, prone to powdery mildew, difficult to grow from seed, grows somewhat readily from cuttings


LAVENDER – Lavandula angustifolia, 6-8 hours full/indirect sunlight, prefer warm conditions, frost sensitive, overwatering sensitive, prefer drier conditions, somewhat difficult to grow from seed, grows somewhat readily from cuttings


MINTSMentha spp.(piperita –peppermint,spicata– spearmint),MUST BE POTTED, WILL TAKE OVER GARDEN, prune regularly, full sun/partial shade, likes somewhat moist soil, grows extremely rapidly, somewhat difficult to propagate from seed, propagates easily through cuttings


SAGESalvia officinalis, prefers warm conditions, 6-8 hours full/indirect sun, likes pruning, somewhat drought tolerant, somewhat difficult to grow from seed, propagates readily from cuttings


Thank you!

Witch Tip: Help for your stuffy nose

For the record, if you have stuffy sinuses and you have a box of tissues, get a cotton ball and soak a few drops of eucalyptus essential oil onto it, then scoot your tissues to the side enough to wedge it down into the bottom of your box. Then it will scent the tissues with sinus clearing oil.

-Headmistress Trick

  • *Junkrat and Roadhog run into Mercy*
  • Roadhog: Tell her we need her help! Tell her to rescue us and car for us. And whatever you do, do not scream “poop” at the top of your lungs!
  • Junkrat: I’M THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN!
  • *Mercy pulls out her pistol and starts shooting*
  • Roadhog: It’s over, idiot. We’re gonna die here and now, and the last words out of your mouth will have been “poop train”.
  • submitted by mother-fricking-sorcerer
The problem

I have a ring binder full of my drawings of my otps. I have Soukoku, Karmagisa, Makoharu, MikaYuu, Victuuri, Shin Soukoku, Ranpoe and phan in there. My mom found them, and asked me one question.

“Why are they all gay?”

I wonder that too mother. I wonder that too.

Lesson 28: Cosmic Witchcraft 101 - Part 5

By: Teacher Nova

Live class date and time: 03/30/2017 at 6:30pm CST

Now that we have covered some of the basics, I’d like to delve into the actual practice of cosmic magick using spells.

Planetary Intent:

  • Banishing: Sun, Saturn, Pluto
  • Beauty: Venus
  • Binding: Saturn, Pluto
  • Cleansing/Purification: Sun, Moon
  • Communication: Mercury, Jupiter
  • Confidence: Mars, Jupiter
  • Courage: Sun, Mars, Jupiter
  • Creativity: Moon, Venus
  • Cursing: Saturn, Neptune, Pluto
  • Divination: Moon, Uranus, Neptune
  • Dreams: Moon, Neptune
  • Energy: Sun, Mars
  • Fertility: Moon, Venus
  • Happiness: Sun, Jupiter
  • Healing: Sun, Moon
  • Hex-Breaking: Saturn
  • Independence: Mars, Uranus
  • Invisibility: Moon, Neptune, Pluto
  • Legal Matters: Saturn
  • Love: Venus
  • Luck: Mercury, Jupiter
  • Manifestation/Power: Sun, Mars, Saturn, Pluto
  • Meditation: Moon, Neptune
  • Mental Clarity: Sun, Uranus
  • Mental Power: Uranus, Neptune
  • Peace: Moon
  • Prosperity/Wealth: Mercury, Jupiter
  • Protection: Mars, Saturn
  • Psychic abilities: Moon, Uranus, Neptune
  • Relaxation/Calming: Moon, Neptune
  • Sexual Relations: Venus, Mars, Pluto
  • Spell-breaking: Saturn, Pluto
  • Strength: Sun, Mars
  • Success: Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn
  • Travel: Moon, Mercury
  • Wisdom: Mercury, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto
  • Wishes: Sun, Jupiter

Timing:

Lunar Phases

  • New Moon –  new beginnings, health, cleansing, inner harmony, peace, love
  • Waxing Crescent – growth, wealth, prosperity, luck, attraction
  • First Quarter – balance, decision-making, challenges
  • Waxing Gibbous – motivation, positivity, success, attraction
  • Full Moon – power, cleansing, charging, healing, divination, emotions, psychic awareness, enlightenment, banishing
  • Waning Gibbous – reassessment, letting go, clearing away, cleansing, releasing, undoing bindings, opening up, making amends, making space
  • Third Quarter – letting go, banishing, breaking bad habits
  • Waning Crescent – achievement, rest, peace, deep wisdom, completion, banishing 
  • Dark Moon – retreat, reflection of self, destruction, banishing, justice
  • Blue Moon – achieving goals, focus, major wishes and dreams, divination 
  • Black Moon power, manifestation

Days of the Week

  • Moon - Monday
  • Sun - Sunday
  • Mercury - Wednesday
  • Venus - Friday
  • Mars - Tuesday
  • Jupiter - Thursday
  • Saturn - Saturday
  • Uranus - Wednesday, Saturday
  • Neptune - Thursday, Friday
  • Pluto - Tuesday

Planetary Hours

Planetary hours utilize the seven classic planets including the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn (although the other 3 planets may be used as well). The first planetary hour of any given day will correspond to that day of the week: for example, the first planetary hour on Saturday will be the hour of Saturn, beginning at sunrise on Saturday and ending before sunrise on the following day. The time that the sun rises is different for everyone, so planetary hours are location-specific.
To calculate planetary hours, you need to know what time the sun rises and sets in your area. The length of daytime equals the time between sunrise and sunset, so figure out how many minutes are between the two, and divide by 12. This will give you the length of time between each planetary hour. Do the same for nighttime (the time between sunset and sunrise the next day).
You can also just visit Lunarium.co.uk to calculate planetary hours for your location: click the link, click “edit” next to the location and date on the page, choose your country/city, and click “Save Preferences.”

The general order of planetary hours based on the Chaldean Order is as follows:
• Saturn
• Jupiter
• Mars
• Sun
• Venus
• Mercury
• Moon

The Chaldean Order is listed from the slowest moving planet in orbit to the fastest, although, we’ve since discovered that the Earth and other planets actually orbit around the Sun, the Moon orbits the Earth, and that the Sun is a fixed object.
Because this system was also put into place before the outer planets were discovered, they usually are not included, but I have still found ways to use them in my personal practice.
The outer planets are said to be “higher octaves” of the “lower octave” planets - the associations of lower octave planets are basic, and the higher octave planets take those associations to a more in depth level.
Low and High Octave Planets:
Mercury - Uranus
Venus - Neptune
Mars - Pluto
With that being said, I like to associate the outer planets with their lower octave counterpart when it comes to using planetary hours and even “day of the week” correspondences.

A collective list of “the best time” to do certain spells - includes days of the week, planet, and lunar phases

  • Cursing - Tuesday/Saturday, Mars/Saturn, Waning/Dark Moon
  • Protection - Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday, Mars/Jupiter/Saturn, Waxing/Full Moon
  • Cleansing - Monday/Saturday, Moon/Saturn, Waning Moon/Blue Moon
  • Banishing - Saturday, Saturn, Waning Moon/Dark Moon
  • Binding - Tuesday/Saturday, Mars/Saturn, Waning Moon/Full Moon
  • Healing - Monday/Thursday/Sunday, Moon/Jupiter/Sun, Full Moon/Blue Moon
  • Enhanced psychic power - Monday, Moon/Neptune, Full Moon/Blue Moon
  • Love/Friendship - Friday, Venus, New Moon/Waxing Moon
  • Manifestation/Power - Monday/Tuesday, Moon/Mars/Pluto, Full Moon/Black Moon
  • Success - Thursday/Sunday, Jupiter/Sun, Waxing Moon/Blue Moon
  • Luck - Wednesday/Thursday, Mercury/Jupiter, Waxing Moon/Blue Moon
  • Wealth - Wednesday/Thursday/Sunday, Mercury/Jupiter/Sun, Waxing Moon
  • Peace - Monday, Moon, Waning/New Moon
  • Courage/Strength - Tuesday/Sunday, Mars/Sun, Waxing/Full Moon
  • Intelligence/Wisdom - Monday/Wednesday, Moon/Mercury/Uranus, Waxing/Full Moon