own harper

The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath

It took three tries, but I finally own the Harper Perennial Olive Edition of The Bell Jar. Four months ago I ordered it from Abebooks, but it was lost in the mail. Two months ago I *thought* I ordered it from Thriftbooks, but when it arrived, it was a different edition. Yesterday it arrived in all its Olive Edition glory! Welcome home, and meet your new friends. 😊

Absolutely Speechless Thoughts about 407

So like, aside from the Octavia stuff, this episode was cooking on all cylinders for me, and god, did it land some gut punches.

I’m gonna get the Octavia stuff out of the way first because…yeah.  I’ll buy what they’re selling (she’s hit rock bottom and longing for something– anything– to make her feel again) but I’m not happy about it.  Her conversation with Murderous Elf Prince was well acted but really heavy handed, and the shift from suicidal to Ready to Bone was a little bit abrupt.  But I’ve struggled with her arc this season and if this means she’s turning over a new leaf and we get some forward progress…sure, okay.  Also, this show’s insistence on what makes a murderer and what doesn’t is shaky at best and I wish they’d stop using that phrasing because it bugs.

The Science Island stuff really worked though, from Clarke’s lovely reunion with Abby to Emori’s delightfully in-character twist at the end.  I am INCREDIBLY CONFUSED how the mansion survived the first death wave not just intact, but pristine but I guess I can chalk that up to some Becca Invention of Future-Plot-Related Convenience because the initial scenes of Murphy cooking and Clarke taking a goddamn break with a well deserved shower and almost nap were on fire.  I wish we could have had Raven in there, giving Murphy increasingly unhelpful hints as he cooks just like he did for her in the flight simulator, but I do like that she was also taking a goddamn nap because literally everyone on this show deserves a nap and a cuddle.

The very convenient red shirt breaking in was puzzling, but it paved the way for Emori to steal the fucking show, so as my darling Moses in Attack the Block would say: allow it.  She really tore shit up, first with that brutal fight and then with her spitting out her whole horrible history and what I really liked about it was contrasting it to Clarke, who has darkness but in a very different way.  I have a lot of feelings about how Emori honed in on how Clarke was clearly loved and cherished as a child, because that is a fundamental to her characterization in a lot of ways.  It sets her apart from other characters, like Murphy and Bellamy and Raven, and it’s a sort of invisible privilege that she doesn’t always recognize.  (Privilege isn’t quite the right word there, because “being loved by your parents” should be a baseline human experience, but it isn’t and it’s a sort of emotional advantage that Clarke has that other characters don’t).  And having Murphy be totally fucking into Emori’s ruthlessness was a delightful surprise that still felt earned and in character.

Anyway, the red shirt solution was clearly an appealing option for Clarke, but I really, really liked that Abby was still all “this is fucking terrible of us.”  I appreciated the wisdom that Abby is bringing to the table there, because Clarke is just like “oh thank god this guy is worthless we can kill him nbd” and Abby’s like “…yeah, but we’re still killing him.”  (Or if he lives, they’re still torturing him.)  It’s an organic difference of opinion built around age and experience and I just love how it’s playing out.  It’s also highlighting how Clarke is unable to see the trees because of the forest, and that indicates some interesting moments for her in the future when they inevitably turn into Mount Weather: Bone Marrow Boogaloo.

Sidenote: real glad Zach McGowan was able to pick up a paycheck for this episode.  Good to see you boo, and I hope next ep we get Roan like, poking at fancy tech stuff in curiosity while Raven impatiently slaps his hand away.  I also totally forgot that Miller was on the island so when Clarke said Roan was unloading the fuel “with the others” I had this great mental image of him and Luna doing it by themselves, because they’re both ripped but he’s crossfit and she’s yoga and man now I want to write a fic with them as dueling personal fitness trainers.

The Arkadia scenes worked well for me too, although the “every other character who isn’t contracted for this ep is magically elsewhere” dialogue felt a little clumsy because how fucking big is Arkadia then?  But whatever, it gave Harper her own storyline that was heartbreaking and human, and well done, show.

But what I really want to talk about is Beard Dad and Bellamy having it out over a radio.  First of all, I’m really glad both Ian and Bob got some solid material for their highlight reels because they both acted the shit out of those scenes with just radios to play towards.  But everything was gut wrenching and in character, because Kane was parenting the shit out of everyone and nobody was having it, not even his Favorite Son Slash Trainee Dad.  

People have already said it already, but thank all that is holy for a Bellamy story that did not revolve around the massacre, but who he is as a person.  And who he is as a person is someone who will save the person in front of him every goddamn time, no matter the risk.  But lately, he’s been fading because he keeps trying to protect people and no matter what, they’re leaving him or dying and he’s utterly powerless against the oncoming radiation.  Bellamy telling those men that he wasn’t coming was agonizing to watch, and it reminded me of Bellamy finding Atom in the woods– he’s helpless and all he can do is listen to them die.  He can’t even give them mercy like Clarke did for Atom.  It’s a stark moment, and we feel every last bit of despair that Bellamy has been fighting for weeks.  

And man, poor Kane.  He was dadding Bellamy as best he could, but Kane has put his season one self so firmly in the past he forgot that not everyone has.  Bellamy bringing up Kane’s role in his mother’s death complicates their relationship in a really challenging way, because so much of who Bellamy is now is because he lost her.  He’s been carrying that guilt and anger around on his own for years, and you could tell it hurt him just a little to unload it on Kane, as deserved as it might be.  (It’s also a very on-brand moment for the Blake Siblings, and let’s have a moment of reflection to thank the new writers who managed to nail this in one fucking episode).  I am really interested to see where Bellamy is next episode, because “not wanting to be saved” is a really bleak place for him, but it’s also a place he’s been headed for this whole season and I cannot wait to see that arc come to fruition.

Next week: Bellamy and Jasper go on a very depressing looking road trip, and Jaha goes Full Cult!

If You Asked...

This is a G!P fic. It’s not a smutty one though. In fact, it’s barely in there. I know some of you may not be into that, so I thought I’d give ya’ll the heads up.

If you asked Clarke, she would tell you that she doesn’t remember the very first time she met Lexa. Not because the girl wasn’t memorable or anything like that, she most definitely was. It just seemed like Lexa was always there. Her first really clear memory of the brunette was in second grade. She was on the playground for recess and Lexa was on the swing, keeping to herself as she would for the years to come.

September 1997

Clarke was playing four square with Harper, Zoe and Monty as usual during recess. The four were locked in a heated battle, Harper refusing to let Clarke win for the billionth time in a row. Seriously, how was one kid so good at four square? They all whipped their heads around toward the swing set when they heard a sudden shout of pain. All the kids ran over to find Lexa Woods clutching her arm, but only Clarke noticed the more rambunctious boys from their class, Bellamy, John and Finn, snickering to each other.

The yard attendant ran over and helped Lexa to the office, as they passed Clarke noticed the unshed tears that threatened to run down the small brunette’s cheek. Clarke was immediately impressed that she wasn’t actually crying. Her glasses were askew and she held her injured arm tight to her chest.

“Harper.” Clarke whispered. “I think Bellamy and Finn pushed Lexa down.”

Harper looked between Clarke and the boys, who were still laughing. “Why would they do that? Lexa doesn’t bother anyone. She’s quiet and smart and when she does talk, she’s nice.”

Clarke shrugged. “I think they’re bullies. We should asked her to play with us, so they leave her alone.” Harper nodded, so did Zoe and Monty. “She lives down the street from me, I’ll try to talk to her later.”

When they got back to class, Mrs. Kane sent Clarke to the office with Lexa’s backpack. When she rounded the corner to the nurse’s office, she was saddened by the sight of Lexa sitting in the hall with her head down and tears still in her eyes, not falling. She still had her arm clutched to her chest.

“Kiddo, what are you doing in here?” Jake Griffin, school principal and proud father, quietly asked as he approached his daughter from behind.

“I brought Lexa her backpack. Can I sit with her until her parents come? She’s hurt and she looks so sad. Please Dad?”

Jake looked from his daughter to the injured girl. “Okay kiddo, back to class when her parents get here.”

“Yes, sir.” Clarke made her way over to the seat next to Lexa and sat down slowly. She didn’t speak for a while, just sat next to the girl. After about three minutes, she looked over to find Lexa wiping a tear from her cheek. She slid her and over the brunette’s uninjured one. “Is your arm okay?”

“Hurts.” Lexa was known for being a girl of few words. She was the kind that always knew the answers in class, but didn’t offer them freely. She had to be called on from the teacher even though her hand wasn’t raised. Some of the kids were not so nice to her because they thought she was weird for that, but Clarke didn’t think she was weird. She knew the smaller brunette was just shy and the other kids were mean.

“Did Bellamy or Finn push you? I saw them laughing after you got hurt.” Lexa didn’t respond at first, but after a minute or so of Clarke looking at her, she nodded. “Tomorrow, you should hang out with me and my friends, so the mean boys leave you alone.”

Lexa chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to find the words to answer the blonde. “Thanks, but I like the swing.”

Clarke’s shoulders slumped a little. “Oh. Okay. Well, if you change your mind, you can hang out with us anytime.” Again, all she got was a nod. Then the front door of the office swung open and a concerned Dr. Emily Woods, one of Clarke’s mother’s coworkers, stepped in side.

“That’s my mom, gotta go. Bye, Clarke.” Lexa whispered as she picked up her backpack with her uninjured hand and quickly shuffled away.

The brunette’s arm was fractured, she came to school the next day with a bright green cast. The fact that it was broken and Lexa hadn’t really cried about it impressed Clarke. She told her dad that Bellamy and Finn pushed Lexa, and he called and told both of their parents. That only made them tease her worse, but they kept their hands to themselves from then on. They called her really clever names like “four-eyes” or “tattletale” or “nerd.” If you asked Lexa, it really didn’t bother her that much back then.

Clarke continued to try to get Lexa to hang out with her and her small group of friends during recess, but the brunette always politely declined. She did, however, manage to get her to sit with them at lunch time. She usually sat quietly across from Clarke, only sometimes interacting with Harper and Monty. Lexa did not like Wells, and Zoe moved away.

In the third grade, Clarke really started to get the hang of this whole school thing. She started paying attention more and daydreaming less. She made it her goal in life to score higher than Lexa on anything they had to turn in. She never did, though. It became a sort of playful rivalry between the two. Lexa always scoring one more point than her and then saying something like, “Oh, so close. Next time.” Clarke began to wonder if that next time would actually come. It truly was just an unspoken game between the two, and it lasted for years. Clarke was really the only person Lexa would speak to by choice outside of the lunch table at school, which got her teased even more. Through the years, she still sat with Clarke and her friends at lunch, but she was usually just reading quietly. However, she did mention that she was happy Wells moved in the middle of fourth grade. Harper laughed and Monty nodded with a smile.

In the sixth grade, Clarke had a birthday party and insisted Lexa come.

August 2001

“Clarke, kids, come on, it’s time for cake.” Abby called from the kitchen out to the pool area of their home. The Griffin’s lived in Santa Barbara, California and August was a perfect time for pool parties. It was only in the mid seventies, but the water was perfect. The kids who were in attendance all climbed out of the pool and toweled off before running inside the house. As Clarke stepped inside she was met by two additional guests, Lexa and her mother.

She smiled brightly at the latecomer. “Lexa! You came!”

“Hi, Clarke.”

“You’re just in time for cake, then we are going back in the pool. Did you bring a suit?”

“I, um.” Lexa looked to her mother who smiled softly and shook her head. “I can’t stay, but I wanted to bring you this.” She handed the birthday girl a small wrapped box. “I wrapped it myself. Hopefully it helps you actually beat my grade some day.” Lexa smiled softly and pushed her glasses up on her nose.

“Is it a miracle? How’d you get it to fit in a box?” Clarke joked. “Thank you, Lexa.”

“You’re welcome, Clarke.”

Lexa and her mother left after they ate some cake. Clarke saved her birthday present from Lexa until she was alone. It was a fancy calculator with a note from Lexa, thanking her for being her friend. If you asked Clarke, that’s the moment she knew Lexa was special to her. The girls in attendance at the party asked Clarke why Lexa was so shy, to which the blonde shrugged and said it didn’t matter. It really didn’t, Lexa being shy wasn’t hurting anyone. Lexa didn’t seem unhappy about it either, and she never seemed to let the comments of the bullies bother her. They still ate lunch together through the rest of elementary and middle school and sometimes, Clarke would convince Lexa to watch a movie at her house on the weekend. In these times when they were completely alone, Lexa would say or do the sweetest things. Clarke wasn’t sure if they were things reserved for just her, or if it was just Lexa’s natural way. If you asked Clarke, she would deny that she had a crush. She totally did though, a big one.

Many boys tried to get her attention, but Clarke had no time for them, not if she was going to somehow score higher than Lexa on something. At the end of eighth grade, Harper had her first big birthday party.

May 2004

“Okay, everyone sit down in a circle. We’re going to play a game.” Bellamy announced and all the kids groaned. Harper hadn’t invited him or Finn, but their parents were friends so alas, they were there. It was only the second time anyone had ever seen Lexa at a party. Having the kids who bullied her there made her very uncomfortable, and Clarke could tell.

“I think Lexa and I are going to pass on your games, Blake.” She shouted, with an annoyed tone.

He looked between them and furrowed his brow. “Come on Princess. Hang out with the cool kids for once. Stop babysitting the nerd.”

“Yeah, she’s just a loser. A freak. Don’t lower yourself down to that level.” Finn added.

Lexa stood calmly and walked out of the room. She didn’t stop until she reached the front porch, but then she had no idea where to go, so she sat on the steps.

“Lexa! Wait!” Clarke ran out the door after her, then sat down next to her. “Hey. Don’t listen to them, okay?”

“You should go back inside and have fun Clarke. My mom will be here soon to pick me up anyway. I don’t get to stay over like the rest of the girls.”

“Oh. Well I’m not going to have fun knowing you’re sad.” Clarke put her hand on Lexa’s knee. “Why can’t you stay?”

Lexa looked at her slowly, chewing her lip like she did when she was thinking over something very complicated. “My mom said no, because she doesn’t know Harper’s parents.”

“Oh.” The blonde thought for a second. “You’re mom knows my parents, could you maybe stay over at my house?”

The brunette shrugged. “Probably. Why?”

“We could have our own sleepover. Harper said the boys are staying tonight too, but in the living room. I told her my dad wouldn’t like that.”

If you asked Clarke, that first sleepover was the best ever. If you asked Lexa, well she was terrified of the first half, but slowly got more comfortable.

In ninth grade, their little group of friends took sex ed. Lexa and Clarke both confessed they thought girls were better than boys, though Clarke thought some boys were nice too. Neither of them thought it really made a difference.

It wasn’t until tenth grade that Clarke found out the main reason behind Lexa’s shyness.

April 2006

“Bellamy Blake, you stop showing off and pass that ball.” Coach Titus yelled as Bellamy moved the ball down the field. It was only PE class, but he was hell bent on impressing Clarke, who he had been hitting on since the beginning of freshman year. It was pathetic really, she had told him to shove off so many times that he should have been embarrassed. She even told him that the way he treated her friend made him the ugliest person she had ever met. His younger sister, Octavia, was in Clarke and Lexa’s circle of friends now too, and she even told him he was embarrassing himself. She also found out how he still tormented Lexa and told him if he didn’t knock it off, she would tell their mother and Aurora Blake was not a woman to be trifled with.

The two girls had made a pact to make sure that one of them was with Lexa at all times to prevent Bellamy, Finn or John from messing with her. They were really the only three who still picked on Lexa after middle school. Both Finn and Bellamy had made it their life mission to score a date with Clarke, and the more times they saw Clarke laugh at something Lexa said or touch Lexa’s arm softly, the more they wouldn’t let up on the poor girl. Although Lexa never complained, and when asked about the guys messing with her, she would just shrug nonchalantly. Sometimes though, they would say just the right thing to chink Lexa’s armor, and only Clarke would notice the deep frown that would appear.

So it was during this exhilarating period of PE in which he was attempting his newest tactic, showing Clarke what a great athlete he was. He sprinted down the field with the ball, and squared up to the net. Lexa was at goalie, where she had actually earned her spot on the school’s co-ed team, so it was time for him to kill two birds with one stone. Embarrass Lexa, by scoring a goal on her and proving he was the superior athlete, and impress Clarke. He looked over his shoulder to make sure the blonde was watching before he made his move.

He crossed over in front of the net and then turned back toward the goal and he ran full speed then kicked the ball as straight as he could. Lexa, however, was able to stop it with the palms of her hands as she dove, but she was not able to pull it back in. It dropped back to the pitch about three yards from where she was scrambling back to her feet, Bellamy ran over as fast as he could and kicked the ball as hard as possible. Lexa stood to full height at that precise moment and the ball ricocheted off her midsection. She dropped to the ground with a yelp of pain. Bellamy kicked the ball into the net finally as Lexa rolled to her knees attempting to catch her breath. Clarke and Octavia ran over after watching the whole event. Bellamy was still celebrating and Lexa was still on the ground, which concerned Clarke immensely. She quickly made her way over to the brunette.

“Lexa? Hey, you okay? That looked like it hurt.”

“I’m - I’ll be okay, just need a second.” Lexa breathed out hard and waved her off, but it didn’t stop the concern Clarke felt. She went over to Coach Titus and voiced that concern, then ran back over to Lexa’s side.

“Come on Woods, it couldn’t have hurt that bad, you big baby.” Bellamy taunted as he stood back and watched as Lexa slowly made her way to her feet.

“Shut it, Bell.” Octavia yelled and pushed his shoulder. “I told you to leave her alone. Jesus.”

Clarke sidled up next to the goalie and put a soft hand on her shoulder. “Come on Lexa. Coach told me to take you back to the locker room to change then to the nurse if you need it.”

Bellamy glared as Clarke put her arm around Lexa and they slowly made their way off the field and toward the girls locker room. As they reached the bench in front of Lexa’s locker, she sat down slowly and winced, still in pain. She gave Clarke the combination to her locker and sat back as the girl grabbed her things out of it.

“Uh, Lexa, why is this in here?” The blonde held up a brand new athletic cup, still in the packaging.

“Clarke, please put that away.” Lexa pleaded as she looked around for anybody else who might be in the room, Clarke looked over her shoulder and the girl’s eyes matched her tone.

“Okay.” Clarke whispered as she put the cup back where she found it. “Are you, like, transgender or something? I mean, I don’t care either way. You’re still Lexa and I’ll still get a better grade than you at some point. Someday.” She smiled softly at the brunette who only looked to her feet. A move Clarke had come to know as ‘Lexa is embarrassed.’

It was a long few seconds, but “intersex” was mumbled. Clarke’s eyes went wide, because she may or may not have heard ‘into sex’ because of said mumbling. But there is no way that was what Lexa had said.

“What?”

“Intersex. Not Trans. I was born with both male and female anatomy. Please don’t tell anyone. No one outside of my family knows. Please, Clarke.” The pleading was back.

“I would never.” Clarke tried to reassure the poor girl but she still couldn’t get direct eye contact. “Hey, look at me.” Slowly the brunette did. “Can I hug you?” Slowly she got a nod. Clarke knelt in front of her and wrapped her arms around the taller girl, she tucked her head into Lexa’s neck. “You’re okay. I’ve known you forever, Lex. I would never betray you like that, okay?”

It took a long while but eventually Lexa was slowly nodding. “Okay.”

Clarke kissed her cheek quickly. “Are you still in pain?”

Lexa froze for a second then shook her head. “I think I’m alright now. Thank you.”

Clarke went home that night and waited by the door for her mom to come home. As soon as Abby stepped through the door, she started firing off questions about people who are born intersex. “What does it mean? How does that happen? What percentage of the population does it affect? Google is only so helpful, Mom.” All questions were answered to the best of Abby’s knowledge. When she asked why Clarke was so curious, she was told, “Not my secret, so I’m not sharing.” Which Abby respected her daughter for. If you asked Abby, she knew it was about Lexa.

May 2006

“Lexa, can I asked you a really personal question?” It was about three weeks since had Clarke found out about Lexa being intersex and she had done an immense amount of research into the topic, but she hadn’t brought it up with the brunette again. They were currently in Clarke’s room, watching TV on Clarke’s bed.

“Sure.”

“So, don’t freak out or anything, but I’ve been doing some research on people who are born intersex.”

“You have?” Lexa raised an eyebrow in questioning, honestly surprised.

“Well yeah. If I was born with something different about me, wouldn’t you research it? It’s our nature as nerds, Lex.”

“Yeah, okay. You’re right. What’s your question?”

“Do you hate it?” Clarke looked to her nervously, not wanting to make Lexa uncomfortable.

“Being intersex?”

“Well sorta, but I meant, specifically your penis?”

“Oh. Uh, no. I actually don’t. I know a lot of people do, when they are born like this. I just don’t want to be viewed as a freak. I already have a hard enough time because of my immensely selective personality in regards to socializing. But, if everyone were as accepting as you, I wouldn’t hide it.”

“Cool. Want to watch Lion King?”

Lexa chuckled softly at the segue, as she shook her head. “Sure, Clarke.”

If you asked Clarke, Lexa’s laugh in any form was the best. After that conversation, Lexa would actually interact with the other people who were present, outside of Clarke their friends. She felt safer knowing Clarke knew her secret and wouldn’t tell. Two of the new kids joined their group too, Raven and Lincoln. Octavia was immediately all over Lincoln, and her brother hated it, which made Clarke’s day.

By the end of sophomore year, Clarke started making Lexa hang out with her more. “Lexa, summer reading is so boring. You’re the only one who is as big of a nerd as I am. Keep me entertained.” Or “Lexa, please? College applications are like, almost here. I have to get into Harvard.” Or, Lexa’s favorite, not that she would ever tell someone. “I just kinda need you around, Lex.” This led to many days lounging around the Griffin house. If you asked Lexa, these were her favorite days of high school.

November 2006

“Clarke, I need your help.” Lexa whisper yelled as she got to their lunch spot.

“Sure, anything.”

“You know that new girl, Costia? I think she has a thing for me, and she was just flirting and asked me to go see a movie. But I didn’t realize it was like, a date thing until I said sure and I was walking over here. It was like an epiphany as I walked. What do I do?”

Clarke shook her head and laughed under her breath. “Oh Lexa. Do you want to go on a date with her?”

“I, uh. I don’t know. I don’t know anything about her.” Lexa sighed.

“Funny thing about dates, Lex. You talk and get to know someone on them.”

“So I should go?”

“It’s up to you. Don’t do anything you don’t want to.”

Lexa went on that date and showed up three hours later at Clarke’s house. She could tell the girl was upset, but she just sat on the end of Clarke’s bed silently for a while.

“She wanted me to touch her during the movie.” Lexa clenched her jaw and looked straight ahead at a painting Clarke had done that hung on the wall. “I told her I wasn’t that kind of person, that we didn’t really know each other, and she got upset with me.”

Clarke stared at the side of Lexa’s head from where she was leaning on her dresser. “What the actual fuck?”

“Yeah.” She exhaled hard. “Can I sleep over?”

“Of course, Lex. We can cuddle and watch Lord of the Rings.”

The rest of junior year went on like nothing happened. Lexa was able to block out that one shitty night and pretend it never happened. Clarke told their friends to be wary of Costia, but wouldn’t say why. She said they were more than welcome to ask Lexa, but she wouldn’t give up any details. Everyone just let it go.

July 2007

“Lexa, it’s so damn hot.” Clarke whined from the spot she was currently occupying sprawled out on the hardwood floor in the living room. It was hot outside, like really hot. A sweltering 92 degrees which was the highest on record for the area in nearly thirty years.

“I don’t control the weather Clarke.” Lexa replied matter-of-factly from her mirrored position on the opposite side of the coffee table.

“Let’s go in the pool.”

“I uh. I don’t know Clarke. I haven’t been-”

Clarke cut her off before she could finish. “Lex, if you’re not comfortable, that’s okay. But, it’s just you and me here. You’re safe.” Clarke has known about ‘little Lexa’ as she referred to it for a little over a year. It had brought up exactly three times. The time she asked if Lexa was okay with it, the time they were learning about male reproductive health, and last month when Lexa said she had a doctor’s appointment for a fertility screening. Needless to say, Lexa felt comfortable with herself around Clarke.

“Okay. I just need to run home and get my stuff.”

“Really?” Clarke rolled over, proper herself up on her elbow and looked at her friend. “I mean it you know. I would never pressure you into anything.”

“I know Clarke, I promise I’m okay. I trust you.”

Fifteen minutes later, Lexa walked back into the Griffin house, appropriate swim attire in hand and was met with Clarke’s voice telling her to head into the pool. Abby had called and she needed to finish changing. Lexa, tied her hair back, dressed quickly in trunks and a bikini top, then grabbed towels for the two of them and hopped into the pool. She was standing about waist deep when Clarke finally emerged from the house. She was wearing a navy blue bikini that left little to the imagination. The blonde had yet to look at the pool, but was talking anyway.

“Lexa, is your anatomy the reason you didn’t stay that time you came for my birthday?”

“Uh. Yeah. It is hard to try to explain why I wear swim trunks, without telling everyone my secret.” Clarke looked to her friend, who was staring down at the water. She raised an eyebrow, knowing something was troubling the brunette, and slowly eased into the water. Making her way over to her friend, she came to a stop just in front of the other girl, who immediately backed away.

Clarke didn’t take another step toward her because she wanted to make sure Lexa was comfortable, and right now, she was sure Lexa was not. “What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”

“Nothing.” She still didn’t look up.

“Then why won’t you look at me? You only do that when you’re uncomfortable or embarrassed.” She watched as Lexa flushed a shade of dark pink she had seen once or twice on the brunette. “Lex?”

“I, uh. I didn’t think this through enough.”

“What? Swimming?” Clarke questioned softly.

Lexa’s shoulders dropped a bit. “Well, yeah kinda. Mostly, you in a bathing suit. You’re just…” She finally lifted her eyes from the water, finding piercing blue eyes instead. “You’re really, really beautiful. And I am really attracted to you but I don’t want to be, um, disrespectful or objectify you.” She pointed down to the water, and the point was made.

Nope. Not expecting that. It took a few seconds for Clarke’s brain to process what Lexa had said. When it finally did, she was already unconsciously moving forward, toward the other nervous teen. This time Lexa didn’t move back. She placed on hand on Lexa’s cheek and brushed her thumb over the bottom lip that was currently being chewed to hell and back. “So are you, Lexa. So beautiful. And god, I’ve been attracted to you for years.” She whispered, then leaned in and placed her lips on brunette’s. It was slow and timid at first, both girls not exactly sure what to do with themselves. Lexa was the first to figure it out and gently put her hands on Clarke’s hips. She pulled the shorter girl closer to her as their lips continued to slide over each other. Clarke wrapped her arms around the brunette’s neck and pulled her in even tighter. If you asked Clarke who made the first move to deepen the kiss she’d blush and tell you she didn’t know. It was her, it was totally her.

Life didn’t change much after that, aside from Lexa and Clarke now being a couple. They spent the rest of summer completing their AP course summer work. They applied for colleges, they playfully competed for Valedictorian, even though Clarke was sure she would never beat Lexa’s score on anything.

One month into the school year, Clarke had enough of Bellamy and Finn with their tirade against Lexa for no apparent reason. She went to her dad, who called Marcus Kane, the high school principal. The boys were suspended and told they would be expelled if it didn’t stop. They did.

Three months into the school year, Clarke actually convinced Lexa to go to a party.

November 2007

“This music is awful.” Lexa groaned as she and Lincoln pushed their way through the crowd at Raven’s house. The only thing Lexa liked about the party so far, is that it was almost over. She had stayed with Clarke and their friends through most of the night, as they drank and laughed. They only separated when a buzzed Octavia announced she had to pee and drug Clarke along with her. She instructed Lincoln, who was also sober, to make sure her brother didn’t bother Lexa. “How late do these things usually go?” She nearly yelled, to make sure her question was heard over the thumping of the bass line.

“Until people start puking or the cops show up.” Lincoln shrugged, like it was all normal. She was working on her second bottle of water when arms slipped around her waist from behind.

“You’re really sexy, you know that?” Clarke husked into her ear, then kissed just below it. Public displays of affection still weren’t either Lexa or Clarke’s thing, they chose to keep their relationship private. At school, they held hands but nothing really more than that. In private, they were not quite as reserved. “We should get out of here. I want to make out.”

Lexa chuckled softly and smiled. “Okay, we can go. Do you want to get food first?”

The slightly intoxicated blonde’s eyes lit up. “Oh. My. God. Yes. Babe, you’re a genius. Octavia! Lexa’s a genius. Go get Harper, we’re going to Denny’s.”

That’s how Clarke, Lexa, Octavia, Lincoln, Harper and Monty all ended up at IHOP at two thirty in the morning. Harper had argued that the Denny’s they had set out for was crawling with drunk college guys at that time. Clarke had her own food in front of her, but insisted on eating Lexa’s fries, humming happily after each one she stole. They all sat there laughing and talking until Clarke and Harper were pretty much sober, Octavia was a whole different story. Everyone bid each other farewell, as they all went to their separate vehicles. As Lexa navigated the streets back home, Clarke’s hand inched it’s way over the center console. It finally reached the soccer players lean thigh about five minutes into the trip. It stayed there the rest of the way, and Lexa chanced a couple of glances at stoplights, seeing that Clarke was just looking forward, smiling. She looked content, like she didn’t have a single care in the world. If you asked Lexa, that’s one of her favorite looks from Clarke. Once they pulled into the driveway at Lexa’s, Clarke finally made her move. She leaned over the console to press a kiss to the brunette’s lips, at the same time, her hand went to the nape of the driver’s neck. She kissed her girlfriend passionately, until she needed to breathe.

When Lexa managed to get air into her lungs, she decided to pose a tricky question. They hadn’t done anything more that some heavy make outs and a little bit of grinding on each other. “Do you want to stay over tonight?”

Clarke looked at her somewhat shyly, considering how aggressively she had just been kissing her girlfriend. “Are your parents still out of town?”

“Yes, but I didn’t mean that in that way, babe. I just want your cuddles. And if we do go there I want you to feel just as comfortable as you always make me feel.”

Clarke smiled softly. “I know. And I appreciate that. I love you, Lex.”

“I love you too, Clarke.” It was Lexa’s turn to lean over the console and kiss her girlfriend, but it was a short, sweet kiss. “Now, am I walking you home or are you coming up?”

“I’m coming up.”

They grabbed a glass of water each and a movie from downstairs then settled into Lexa’s bed, with the brunette as the big spoon. The movie played as the sun rose but neither girl paid any attention. Instead they laid there, trading slow lazy kisses. At some point, shirts were removed so they could gently caress each other’s skin. At another point, Lexa’s lips left Clarke’s and she pressed them to every inch of the girls exposed torso. When she reached the waistband of Clarke’s shorts, she was asked to keep going, so she did. She pulled them down slowly keeping her eyes on the perfect face of her girlfriend, looking for any sign of discomfort, she never found it.

She continued to worship the body beneath her until her name was being moaned out, over and over again. She continued to worship the goddess that made her feel so entirely comfortable with herself, that sometimes she forgot she was made differently.

Clarke looked at her with so much adoration and love after she tumbled over the edge for the second time, that Lexa almost forgot what they were doing. Long fingers gripped her chin and pulled her back up to meet the blonde’s lips. “Lex, please. I want to feel you too, and I need you to feel me.” If you asked Lexa, that was the moment that she knew as long as she lived, no one would ever compare to Clarke.

The rest of senior year went perfectly.

Three weeks before graduation, Clarke found out she got into Harvard. Two weeks before graduation, Lexa found out she got into MIT. One week before graduation, Lexa and Clarke were told they were Valedictorian and Salutatorian, respectively.

One day before graduation, Clarke did not show up for the practice run through.

June 2008

“Lexa Woods, please report to the office.” The office secretary’s voice came through the PA system. Lexa made her way to the office quickly, unsure of what she could have possibly done to get summoned on the last day of school. She opened the office door to find her father standing at the counter with a sad smile.

“Hey kiddo.” Alexander was a somewhat intimidating man to those who didn’t know him. He was a construction manager who had worked his way up from the very bottom. He was physically a large guy, built like a bull as he would say.

“Dad. What’s wrong?”

He sighed and nodded his head out the door. “I’m taking you home early.”

“What happened to mama?”

“No! Nothing. Munchkin, mama is fine. It’s Jake Griffin, he had a heart attack on the way to work this morning.”

Lexa’s eyes immediately welled with concern. Jake and Abby had always been like a second set of parents to her. “Oh my god. Is… is he going to make it?”

“I don’t know, munchkin. But mama called me to come get you so that you can be with Clarke.” She nodded and they got into the car and drove wordlessly to the hospital. When they arrived, Alexander guided her to where he was told the Griffin women were waiting. Clarke looked up when she entered the room and both of them broke out into sobs as Lexa through her arms around her. They stayed there, wrapped up together, neither girl ever moving to let go, until the doctor came in hours later and told them Jake was going to be okay.

Lexa read Clarke’s speech at the graduation ceremony the next day. It was the only way Clarke could convince her to go. As soon as it was over, she was right back at the hospital along with their friends.

The first years of college passed quickly for the couple. Clarke and Lexa were both in the Boston area making life so much better during college. They were the ideal couple to their friends, and yes, Lexa made more friends. College was good to her. They only had one big fight during the their undergrad.

September 2010

“Lexa, please. I need you to help around here.” They moved into a small apartment after their first year of college so they could be together. Lexa had taken up app developing with a friend in her spare time, and she tended to zone out when she was really into it. “Lexa? Are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, babe. I’m listening.” She replied from her spot on the couch, eyes not leaving the screen.

“What did I say then?” Clarke’s hands went to her hips and she cocked her head to the side.

Lexa finally looked away from the computer. “Okay, to be completely honest I missed the first part of what you said. But I am listening now.”

Clarke closed her eyes and shook her head. “Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me. Lexa this place is a disaster. It’s so gross. I get that college is easy for you and you’re like a natural genius who never needs to study, but maybe in your free time you could pull yourself away from the computer for five minutes and wash the damn dishes.”

Lexa sat up straight and looked around the room, then looked back at Clarke with a furrowed brow. “Okay, babe. I’ll wash them right now.” She got up and went into the kitchen to find two coffee cups and a plate. She was confused even more now, so after rinsing them and placing them in the dishwasher, she returned to the living room and picked up the three pieces of paper on the coffee table. She placed them in her back pack, then sat back down at her laptop. She began the sign off procedure for the developer tool she was using, making sure all her work was saved.

Clarke came back into the room at that precise moment. “Really, Lexa? Really. You couldn’t stop and do what I asked for five minutes?”

“I did what you asked Clarke, and I am turning my computer off to help you with whatever you need for the rest of the night.” Lexa stood and faced her girlfriend. “What is going on with you?”

“What’s going on with me? Really?” She folded her arms over her chest. “I have to do everything, all of the time, and I asked you to help me this once, and something is going on with me?” She dropped her arms to the side. “You know what? I’m leaving.”

Lexa’s jaw dropped and her heart sank. She didn’t say anything or move to stop the furious woman, she just stood there, in shock. Clarke left the apartment with a slam of the door.

She returned four hours later to a spotless apartment, freshly laundered sheets and clothing which was put away appropriately, and a crying girlfriend sitting on her side of their bed.

“Lex, baby.” She slowly approached their bed. “I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. It was wrong, I was unfair to you. I know you do stuff around here. Hell, I know there were only three dishes in the sink earlier. I’m so sorry.”

Lexa sniffed before looking up at Clarke. The brunette was not a crier, Clarke had maybe seen it three times in the years they have known each other. She immediately started crying as well, knowing how much she had to have hurt Lexa for there to be tears. “Why?” Was all she managed to croak out at first. “I love you more than anything in this world Clarke. You just left. You left me.”

“I know baby, I know. I shouldn’t have left. I love you too. I promise I’ll never do that again.” Clarke slowly leaned in and pressed their foreheads together, tears still rolling down both of their cheeks. “I’m so sorry.” Lexa was the one to lean forward and press their lips together in a salty, tear filled kiss. “I think I figured out why I flew off the handle like that. It’s not an excuse for how I acted.” She lifted the plastic Walgreen’s bag and pulled out a pregnancy test. “I haven’t had my period for the last two months. I chalked it up to stress because we always use protection.”

“You… You think you might be pregnant?” Lexa’s jaw dropped as she looked at the box.

“It’s either that or I have a huge hormone imbalance for some other reason.”

Clarke wasn’t pregnant. She went the the doctor who basically just shrugged and said it happens, then put her on birth control to help regulate her. There were no more outbursts, but there was a lot more sex. Now that they were sure there would be no babies in their near future coupled with the fact that they both loved the feeling of not have a condom barrier between them. If you asked Clarke, that fight never happened, because she is still mad at herself to this day about how much she hurt Lexa.

Oh and that app Lexa was working on? Well, it sold to Facebook two years later for an undisclosed amount of money. Lexa was now an undisclosed amount of loaded. (She had $140 million.) Neither of them would ever have to work again if they chose not to, just on the interest alone.

It wasn’t until after graduation from grad school, Lexa garnering a double masters in engineering and architecture, Clarke finishing law school, that they broached the subject of marriage.

November 2014

“Clarke, baby. Wake up.” Lexa gently shook her sleeping girlfriend into consciousness early on a Saturday morning.

“Five more minutes, Lex.” The blonde mumbled and pushed her head deeper into the pillow.

“Clarke, come on. It’s important.” Lexa whined from next to her. Clarke slowly rolled onto her side and came eye to eye with her girlfriend. “Hi.”

“Hey. Do you know what today is?”

“No? Should I? Our anniversary is in July. Your birthday is in April. Mine was August -”

“Okay, okay. Technically it’s none of those, but it’s also all of those. Today is special for its own reason.” Lexa explained. “Today’s date is 10/22/14. Your birthday is August 10th, mine is April 22nd, and our anniversary is July 14th. And I would also, very much like it if, it could be described as the day you agreed to marry me?”

Clarke’s eyes went wide. “What?”

Lexa pulled a small ring box out from under her pillow. “Clarke Abigail Griffin, would you please continue to make me the happiest woman in the world by marrying me?”

Clarke’s eyes filled with tears and she nodded vigorously. “Yes. Yes. Yes yesyesyes.” She punctuated each yes with a kiss.

If you asked Lexa, there was no happier moment in her life, up to this point, than when Clarke said I do the next year on the same day. If you asked Clarke, Lexa is the world’s biggest sap. It’s totally true and Clarke totally loves it.

The wedding was a small, intimate affair. Their wedding party consisted of Harper, Octavia, and Raven on Clarke’s side, and Lincoln, Monty and Anya (Lexa’s college friend) on the other.

They did a traditional dollar dance at the wedding and they donated the money to a school in Thailand. Drunk Monty paid three times, danced with each girl once and then initiated a group hug style sway on the third. Lexa cut him off.

When they got back from the honeymoon, Lexa and Anya architecture firm exploded in popularity. They hired Raven, Monty and Lincoln to work with them, paying for them and their spouses to move to Boston. Clarke went to work at the district attorney’s office and life continued pushing forward. Harper became a highschool teacher and Octavia a social worker.

Octavia and Lincoln got married next, it was also a small wedding. Lexa and Clarke made a large, anonymous, donation to wedding their fund. Everyone still knew who it was, no one questioned it. At the wedding, the women did their best to keep away from Bellamy, who still seemed to harbor some sort of grudge.

March 2016

“You can chill the fuck out or you can leave. Those are your two options Bell.” Octavia poked him in the chest to further make her point.

“I’m not leaving your wedding, O. You’re my sister. Make her leave.” He squared his shoulders and clenched his jaw.

Octavia had enough. “Why would I do that? You have tormented Lexa for her entire life, Bellamy. Her whole life. If someone did that to me, there is no way I would be friends with his sister. She has never once, never ever, said a cross word about you to me. God knows she could, but she doesn’t. So what the fuck is your problem?”

“How was she so weird all through school and she still got Clarke to fall for her?” Bellamy glared over her shoulder to where the happy couple was chatting with Raven and Anya. He clenched his jaw again as Lexa leaned over and pressed a kiss to Clarke’s temple.

“That’s what this is all about? You’re upset you could never land Clarke. Un-fucking-believable. Okay, number one she wasn’t ‘weird’, she was quiet. There is a difference. Number two, you know what, no, I’m done talking to you. If you so much as think about going near either one of them, I will have your ass thrown out of here so fast, Bellamy Blake.” She turned and stomped away, an elegant feat in a wedding dress. She turned and stomped back quickly. “Just so you know, they have treated me more like family in the past ten plus years than you ever have. Look around you, they’ll never admit it, but they are the ones that paid for everything. Pull your head out of your ass.” She stomped away, for good this time.

The dance floor was opened up after the newly married couple swayed to Etta James’ At Last. Next, Clarke and Lexa slowly swayed to Elvis’ I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You, which was their first dance song just a few short months ago. When the song concluded, some pop medley came on and Lexa excused herself to the restroom and to grab two more drinks. At 25 years old, Lexa liked to think her level of self control was pretty damn high. That being said, she was completely unsurprised by the events of the forty five seconds between her re entering the ballroom and Bellamy holding his bleeding nose in the middle of the dance floor.

“Clarke, can I talk to you for a second?” Bellamy nearly pleaded as he approached the blonde in the middle of the dance floor.

“That depends, do you have an itemized list of all the things you’re going to apologise to my wife for?” She really enunciated wife, just for him.

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously before stammering out his response. “No, I was just hoping to talk to you. Maybe you could give me another chance to prove that I’m a good -”

“Oh no. We’re not doing this. You aren’t going to stand here and disrespect my marriage.” Clarke turned to walk off the dance floor when a strong hand griped her bicep.

“Clarke wait.”

She shot him a glare. “Let me go, Bellamy.”

“Just let me finish-” His pleading was cut off by a fist to the face. He stumbled backward and hit the ground with a thud, clearly not prepared for the hit.

“You do not get to put your hands on my wife.” A very livid Lexa was standing over him, one hand bunched in his collar. “You bullying me in school was one thing. I didn’t fight back because I would have hurt you, severely, and I couldn’t have that on my record. But I swear on all that you hold dear, if you ever touch Clarke again, they will never find your body.” With that, she released him and gently took her wife’s hand, leading her from the dance floor.

Lincoln came up to Bellamy after the women walked away. “O said to tell you that you deserved so much more than what you just got, and you should feel lucky that Lexa is such a good person. And also that she warned you, now it’s time for you to leave. I’ve gotta say, man, I definitely don’t disagree.” He waved over two of his friends who were ushers for the ceremony. “Make sure he leaves.” Lincoln shook his head in disappointment and walked back to where his wife was standing with their friends.

“Damn Lexa, where’d you learn to throw a punch like that?” Raven questioned, handing over a bag of ice for her knuckles.

“I’ve been taking muay thai classes since I was six.” Everyone’s jaw dropped as they gaped at her. Everyone except Clarke. “What?”

“So you could have handled his ass a long time ago?” Lincoln asked, brow furrowed.

“Well, after the arm incident, they physically left me alone, so there was nothing I could do. If I hit him first, it would have been on my record forever.” Lexa shrugged. Clarke had known for many years about Lexa’s martial art prowess. She even went to a few matches in high school. It was just one of those things Lexa chose not to talk about with anyone besides her, so Clarke left it that way. “I tried to never let him get to me, guys, but tonight was the last straw. Sorry this happened at your wedding O.”

“Oh, no. That’s okay. He deserved it. I even warned him to stay away from you both.”

Harper and Monty got married next, but it was a quick, courthouse ceremony. Harper was pregnant and they needed to add her to Monty’s insurance. He still worked for Lexa and Anya, and they tried to pull some strings but the insurance company wasn’t having it.

December 2016

“Look at her Lex. She’s perfect.” The Griffin-Woods stood in front of the viewing window of the nursery at Mass General. “Emma Amelia Green. I can’t believe she is finally here.”

“Me either, babe. You know, I did the math. She was definitely conceived around the time of Linc and O’s wedding.” They shared a laugh, then continued watching the tiny infant sleep. “I want one.” Clarke was surprised to find that she was hearing those words instead of being the one to say them. She looked at her wife, surprise evident on her face.

“You do?”

“Well, yeah.” Lexa shrugged. “I want everything with you.” Clarke hummed and nodded. “Can you imagine? A little girl with your nose and my eyes.” Lexa chuckled and wrapped her arms firmly around her wife.

“I was thinking a little boy with your hair and my eyes.”

Lexa pressed a kiss to Clarke’s temple before mumbling. “That would be nice too.”

If you asked Clarke, she was ready to have Lexa’s baby all those years ago, when they thought she might be pregnant. If you asked Lexa, everything that has happened between her and Clarke happened at the precisely perfect moment.

They had managed to keep Lexa’s secret about being intersex from their friends until the time that they conceived. None of them batted an eye.

Alexander Jacob Griffin-Woods or AJ for short, was born April 29th, 2018 at 6:43pm. He was 6 lbs 13 oz of physical perfection. He had Clarke’s hair and Lexa’s eyes. After she saw him for the first time, Clarke looked at her wife with a wide grin. “If you asked me way back in third grade, I would have never guessed this would be when I finally beat you at something.”

Lexa just shrugged, smiled, then kissed her and then kissed her son as she stroked his blonde hair. “Yeah, you earned this one.”

New Birds of Prey

Consider this:

Batman has currently got his hands full. Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, Duke Thomas, Batgirl, Spoiler, Bluebird, and The Orphan.

Now obviously the first three don’t really need training or anything. But they still need to spar with people on a regular basis and they definitely need help sometimes. Also Batman feels the need to keep a close eye on Hood in case he starts killing people again.

Robin doesn’t really need combat training, but he needs people-person training, and team-building stuff desperately. They’re a headache to teach. And Duke is a green-horn who needs practically everything plus he’s dealing with the issues surrounding his parents so Bruce has got to keep a close watch on him.

So let’s say, he realizes that there’s no way he can really manage all these kiddos by himself. So he turns over the training aspect of Spoiler, Bluebird, and Orphan to Batgirl.

Batgirl, who is sensible about this sort of thing, looks at these three and is like, “Y’all need one-on-one training, but you could definitely make a great team, too.” So what does she do? She calls up the old Birds of Prey.

They meet in the clock tower. It’s still being used off and on by members of the batfamily (primarily Hood and Batwoman) as a base of operations or just a place to crash when things are rough, so everything’s in pretty good repair (except there are a couple old pizza boxes and half a pack of mountain dew lying around because Tim camped there for a week one time and forgot to clean up).

Huntress and Canary show up, and size up these three noobs. And both of them just kind of look at Babs and think, “Really? You hate us, don’t you.” But they agree, yeah these kids will definitely go and get themselves killed if nobody works with them.

So they do.

Barbara understands (thanks Joker) what it’s like to feel broken and to not know where you fit in with life anymore. So she works a lot with Cassie on figuring out how to interact with people now that she has the freedom to. They do a lot of one-on-one therapy. Sometimes Canary steps in for it too. Babs also teaches Cass the ins and outs of detective work.

Babs also works a lot with Harper because she gets being the older sister, and how much pressure there is to it, while also being a hero. She helps her work out a good hero/life balance, and agrees to check in on Harper’s brother from time to time when Bluebird is patrolling and such.

Canary steps up with Spoiler. She understands trying to prove to the world what she can do. Dinah understands low self-esteem, and how much it can impact your abilities. So she takes Steph out on patrols and the two kick it together their style and Dinah encourages Steph to be her outgoing self, while showing her how to protect herself emotionally as well, and let the insults and the ungratefulness run off her like water.

Dinah also does a lot with Cassie. Mostly sparring, but also helping her find ways to express herself beyond just physical exertion, beyond fighting and dancing and into art, speaking, reading, writing.

Huntress takes Spoiler on a lot. She can relate to having a dad who is abusive, who wants you to follow in his footsteps, and how hard it is to break away from that life and the family you know and do the exact opposite. How conflicted emotions can get, and how much it can still hurt after years and years.


Helena also takes on Bluebird, who needs a little bit more impulse control. When Helena first started out, she was not the best at it, and it got her and others into trouble. There have already been times where Bluebird has made the same mistakes, and Huntress wants to help her avoid making more. Especially since now Bluebird is working on a team, instead of on her own, and Harper definitely feels the weight of that responsibility on her shoulders.

Just…

Imagine it.

rewatching some of yj and i’m on the scene in targets where roy is interrogating cheshire and im CACKLING LMFAKSJDHKJFH 

LOOK AT HIS FACE WHEN SHE GRABS HIM LOL

4

You know why I love these two so much?
Because this is true familial love.
True love for your sibling(s) is being there to hold them while they cry. Not making empty promises that ’everything will be alright’ or even saying the dreaded ’stick and stones’ rhyme or even ’kids are cruel’.
No.
Honest to God, true love is always being on your side.
True love is doing whatever to show the world that if you mess with my sibling, you mess with me.
True love is staying by your side no matter what the world throws at you and yelling “IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!”.
And that is exactly what Harper and Cullen share.
You can even see in that second-to-last panel; Harper’s snarling.
They’re walking down the school hallway and she’s daring someone to say something.
And that protective hand on his back in the last panel.
When I see these two, I don’t see ‘fire-forged children who banded together in the wake of their father’s absence’.
I see two real sibling that love each other more than life.
I see myself and my own older sister in Harper and Cullen. I know what it’s like to be the both of them.
And it makes me really happy to see this intense, healthy relationship between siblings that happens in real life and is realistic.

John on the meteor AU

If John was on the meteor those 3 years…

•John and Dave would have gotten closer

•John would have made sure Rose wouldn’t have alcohol (or a lot at least)

•Vriska and John would have tried to be matesprites but that would’ve ended quickly, because to John something didn’t feel right

•John and Terezi would be ♠️ except I’m pretty sure John wouldn’t have done any hate sex

•Terezi wouldn’t have gone into a relationship with Gamzee (yes he’d still be locked in a fridge)

•Vriska and John would be moirails, talking about Terezi, Nic Cage and other things

•Dave and Karkat would also be moirails

•Karkat would know that Dave loves John

•Vriska would know as well because Dave wouldn’t hide it very well

•Finally John, after finally grasping at the hints Vriska had been dropping, would confront Dave about it

•Dave would be all bashful because he’d be thinking “shit, he knows, he knows and he hates you, he knows and he’ll never like you the same way, he’ll think you’re a freak and stop being your friend”

•John is all awkward because a guy had never liked him before, and he wasn’t even sure if he even LIKED guys

•So John’s all like “I’m not sure how I feel towards you, all I know if that I like you a lot, I’m not sure if it’s friendly or romantic, and I’m not sure if I’m straight or not, but I’m willing to try a relationship with you”

•And Dave’s brain just up and quits and he’s like “huh?”

•"I’m willing to try out a relationship with you if you’re ok with it, though I’m not sure what my feelings are towards you"

•Dave agrees and hugs John tightly (their moirails cheering them on in the background)

•After dating for about a year (so it’s be the 2 year mark at this point) John figures out, after talking with Rose and Vriska a bunch, that he’s Demisexual and Biromantic, with a slight preference for guys, and he talks to Dave about it and finds out that Dave is pan, and also Trans (that was a lot of courage, tears and babbling about not being good enough) but John accepts Dave, as Dave accepts John

•When they reunite with Jade and Davesprite after 3 years Jade is excited to see her ectobrother and tells John all about how she tried to date Davesprite but it didn’t work out, and John laughs and explains how he’s dating Dave now and Jade, who knows from talking to Dave and Davesprite offers to help Dave with his transition with her spacey powers and knowledge about science, so after several trials and errors (on many dead Dave’s, they wanted to make sure all was right before testing on the Alpha timeline Dave) they got it right and Dave was really really happy with himself and his body

•John just cuddles Dave a bunch and kisses him and makes Dave even happier and they’re even HAPPIER when they get the new Earth back and can spend some quality time together without having to worry about dying all the time

•Dave has nightmares from all the other dead Dave’s and timelines, so John and Rose help him talk about that

•Soon Dave stops having nightmares (every night at least, he has the occasional nightmare)

•John still has Casey and him and Dave raise her as their own child

•Eventually everyone who wants kids but can’t have any (RoseMary, DirkJake and any other same sex couple) John and Karkat teaches them how to use ectobiology to make a child of their own

•Insert Marina and Harper (Or Selphie if you like the nerdy couple idea) babies here

•John educates the kids on Ghostbusters, National Treasure and Matthew David McConaughey

•Dave educates the kids on Pokemon, Good music taste and how to piss people off

•(Both of them equally teach the kids to cuss but John only cusses accidentally around them and Dave just doesn’t care if his kids cuss, because he’s waiting for one of the people to say gay is bad and watch his children educate them)

•Also Dave would teach Marina to sing and Harper (Selphie) would learn the drums (John=Keyboard/piano and Dave=turntables and Auntie Jade on guitar) and they have literal Jam sessions once a week

•Auntie Vriska teaching the kids how to get their way with Auntie Terezi teaching them justice and how to get information out of people

•Auntie Karkat (Dave taught the kids that, Karkat hated it at first but slowly grew to love it) teaches the kids about troll quadrants and how to keep good secrets (don’t tell your fathers I’m teaching you this)