owen was here

Stranger Things adds Sean Astin, Paul Reiser, Linnea Berthelsen for Season Two

Danish actress Linnea Berthelsen has been cast as Roman. Per Netflix, she’s “an emotionally damaged, magnetic young woman who suffered a great loss as a child. Although she does not live in Hawkins, she is mysteriously connected to the supernatural events at the lab…”

Sean Astin (The Goonies, Lord of the Rings trilogy) will play Bob Newby, “a kindhearted former nerd who went to high school with Joyce (Winona Ryder) and Hopper (David Harbour) and now manages the local Hawkins RadioShack.”

Paul Reiser (Aliens, Whiplash) has been cast as Dr. Owens, “a high-ranking member within the Department of Energy on a ‘clean-up’ assignment, tasked with containing the events of last year.”

Epic Rap Battles of Anime- Tosaki Yuu vs Samuel T Owen

(I am sorry.)

Begin!

Tosaki:

Step aside, Shimomura,

and wait here for plan B.

I‘ll destroy this blind bastard

without any immortality.

I‘d greet you if your presence

wasn‘t utterly appaling

So come out, grandpa,

or are you actually stalling?


Satou:

Oh my, Tozaky,

wipe that frown of your face!

If you carry on,

you‘ll put your mediocre looks to waste!

You begin without my presence,

could you be more self-centered?

Now listen to your elders,

since Player Two has entered.

I fight for the rights of Ajin

that your government long stole,

vile torture and experiments,

- shall I mention more?

Soon we shall rule this country,

better than it was before.

Why don‘t you start hiding

before my ghost comes knocking on your door?


Tosaki:

It‘s Tosaki, not Tozaky,

and you better start remembering this.

But I shouldn‘t expect so much,

from one pathetic terrorist.

A grand fight for justice?

For you it‘s all a game.

Your boundless insanity,

will put your kind to shame.

So contain yourself, Mad Hatter,

before you‘re too far gone,

Have Tanaka push that wheelchair,

to a retirement home


Satou:

If it weren‘t for your assistant,

you would have long since died.

You‘re just a vengeful wreckage,

who is desperate for some might.

That stick up your ass?

It‘s useless in a fight.

And honestly, by now-

have you even picked a side?

You‘d do anything for money,

but your plans- they mostly fail.

Do you need a smoke, Tozaky?

You‘re looking pretty pale!


Tosaki:

I‘m the head of our group,

and they do what I say.

Without me, the Ajin comittee,

wouldn‘t last a day.

Funny you would mention failure-

did you mean your crew?

They‘re working for our side-

right after leaving you!

And do you miss the States, ex-soldier?

Let me give you a trip home.

Lock you up in a supermax,

where you can rot alone!


Satou:

I shall decline your offer,

you‘re far too busy to do this-

Playing house with your assistant

while raising two kids!

You‘re weak, you‘re mortal.

And I could slay you any day!

Where would you like that gravestone?

Next to your fiancée?


Tosaki:

Aren‘t you exhausted?

I think you should be resting.

Why don‘t you sit down over here?

Those weapons still need testing!


Satou:

I‘m sorry, but you must now excuse,

this generous old rover.

We can‘t have the country waiting,

so long,

Game Over.


(Who won? Who‘s next? You decide!)

- I thank NicePeter and EpicLoyd who created the truly epic format Epic Rap Battles of History on Youtube and of course, heavily inspired this piece! -