All the Other Times

Dean thought Castiel was gone, gone for good. 

He saw the Devil’s trap fail, saw Dagon rip Michael’s lance from Cas’ hands and toss it to the floor. She pinned him to the wall with an unseen force and choked the life from him. His eyes rolled back as into his head as he crumpled to the ground. 

Dean’s vision swam with red. The roaring of his blood in his ears drowned out Dagon’s gleeful cackling as he took up Michael’s lance, reforged by God himself, and drove it through her heart.

But it was too late. Cas was gone. 

He rushed to his friend and knelt by his side, sliding a rough, calloused hand along the stubble of his cheek, but Castiel’s head only lolled to one side.

“Please, please let this work,” whispered Dean hoarsely to himself as he pulled a necklace over the top of his head to reveal a vial of ethereal blue, glowing softly as if it had a lifeforce all its own. He uncorked it and held it up to Castiel’s mouth.

“Please, Cas, please. Stay with me, I got ya.”

The grace slowly crept out of the vial and coiled cool blue tendrils around Castiel’s nose and mouth before suddenly and forcefully pouring into him. His back arched and his eyes fluttered as his torso flashed a near blinding white light.

Castiel gasped.

He was alive. 

They knew that their meeting with Dagon would most likely result in one or both of them dying, and by saving some of Castiel’s grace they’d hoped to be able to revive the other in the worst case scenario. Luckily, it worked.

Castiel blinked rapidly until his eyes focused and he could seen that Dean was upon him, taking shuddering breaths, one hand clenched around Castiel’s coat with a white knuckled grip. 

“I thought I’d lost you, Cas.”

Castiel gave a small smile and opened his mouth to speak, but before he could form words Dean darted forwards, mouth roughly catching Castiel’s in a searing, desperate kiss. Castiel’s dark lashes fluttered as he moaned softly into Dean’s mouth. They kissed amongst the carnage and the blood and the sulphur until Dean finally pulled away, breathless. 

“I’m sorry, Cas, I’m sorry. This… this is complicated. I’ve been holding back for so long, I never thought this could work. I–”

“It’s okay, Dean,” interrupted Castiel, voice low and soft. “I understand.” With that, the angel raised two fingers up toward Dean’s head. Dean jerked away and caught his hand, green eyes flashing with confusion.

“Cas, what the hell are you doin’?” he demanded, more confused than angry. He sat back on his heels and allowed the angel to sit up fully, head tilted, eyes sad and curious.

“My apologies. I just assumed you would–”

“Would what?”

“That you would want me to unburden you of this memory,” Castiel replied, examining his lap in shame.

“So you thought you’d just go ahead erasin’ things from my brain without asking?” Dean scoffed.

“It isn’t without precedent,” the angel sighed, blue eyes flickering upward to meet Dean’s. 

“Wait, you’ve done that before?! When?”

“All the other times.”

“What other times?”

“The other times you’ve kissed me.”

Finishing ACOMAF
  • Me: NOOOOOOOO!!!!
  • ME: *whispers* why did you do this, Sarah J Maas??? Why must you hurt me like this???
  • Me: *throws book across the room*
  • Me: *cries until the Feysand reunion, because there fucking sure as hell has to be one*

I will not ask you to stay

If you must go, go
I don’t need you
I will breathe (carefully) without you
I will smile (slowly) without you
I will go on (eventually) without you
I’d be much happier
If you chose to not leave,
But if you must let go, let go
And I will too

And hopefully one day
I will teach my heart to not break
Whenever everyday thoughts
Lead to you

I’m afraid I’m much too weak,
I’m afraid we’ll always be
A book with the end pages ripped out,
I’m afraid I’ll always wonder,
Always ache,
Always place everyone second to you

I’m afraid I’ll always love you

But I will not ask you to stay.

—  Does Time Truly Heal All Wounds? (Madisen Kuhn)
Dean's Theme (Americana excerpt)
Jay Gruska and Christopher Lennertz
Dean's Theme (Americana excerpt)

Dean’s Theme (Americana excerpt) - Jay Gruska and Christopher Lennertz

Dean’s theme shows up multiple times throughout the series in different variations, and it wrecks me every time. I cut out the one version of Dean’s theme from the soundtracks, located in the middle of the track Americana, and strung it together twice. Enjoy the feels~

Devastation (Dragon Age Origins)

When the Archdemon is finally destroyed, and the Darkspawn flee, the Army of Ferelden cheer, for the Blight is finally over.

But one man doesn’t. He knows the price.

Bann Teagan knows that there were only three Wardens who could have killed the Archdemon. And one has paid the price.

But he doesn’t yet know which one.

It’s his worst fear come to pass. Was it his nephew or the Hero of Ferelden?

Either way, it’s a terrible loss.

Newtina thought

We know that Newt still has nightmares about Tina’s sobs when they were being led to the death chamber. He blames himself for putting her in that position, so it haunts him.

What we don’t know is that Tina still has nightmares about Newt’s sobs as he was being tortured by Grindelwald in the subway. She honestly didn’t think she’d get there in time to stop either Graves or Credence, and so still hangs on to the oppressive what-if.