ovis room

leyley09  asked:

Nicklas Bäckström, pranks

They meet under a neutral flag at a neutral setting, which is actually one of the family lounges and one of Eller’s practice jerseys taped onto one of Alex’s sticks, and held by Jakub Vrana who looks like he has no idea of what is going on or why he’s being made to stand on a chair and hold a shirt-stick-flag, but is too nervous to do anything otherwise. Alex sits down at one side of the table, and Alzy sits down at the other, the two groups taking seats down either side in a rough breakdown of Canada and America on the left, and everyone else on the right. They wait in dead silence.

When Nicky finally walks in, he ignores both of them and sits at the head of the table. He doesn’t say anything for a full two minutes, drumming his fingers and staring at every single person in the room.

“By the power vested in me as last year’s prank war winner,” he finally says. “I declare this 2017 season open, effective as soon as this meeting is officially adjourned. No rules are changed or updated from last year, only the people officially playing. The scoresheet with everyone listed who’s playing is taped up in the locker room, to be updated by a neutral party who is not taking part, this year represented by Grubi. He will also have final say and authority over all point allocations and decisions, and will hold the cash pot and award it to the one with the highest points at the end of the week. If necessary he’ll also judge the winner’s favor request for the losers if there is a formal protest or debate.”

Over in the corner, Grubi nods and waves, wearing the official Judge Hat, which is actually just something leftover from Holtby’s Halloween costume of two years ago.

“All pranks must be complete in effect by midnight of next week. Anything that happens after that is grounds for immediate disqualification, and you have to wear the Terry shirt for the rest of the season.”

No one said anything. Nicky sat in silence for another full minute, tension growing ever thicker.

“With no further updates, we are now in live competition,” Nicky says. He stands up. “And I am currently in the lead,” he says, as a smile breaks on his face, and he bolts out of the room. Ovi, Alzy, and everyone in a chair tries to jump up after him, and—go nowhere fast, though Ovi rips most of the seat out of his sweats yanking away from the chair.

“Fucking superglue,” Oshie says, half in disgust, half in admiration. “Goddammit. He set that up before we came in. That shouldn’t count! I object!”

“Official ruling. Prank did not go into effect until after competition was live,” Grubi says. “It stands. Backy has fifty points per every chair.”

“Backy! You dead!” Ovi has already taken his pants off and is headed out the door after Nicky, a not entirely unusual sight. Everyone else is trying to extract themselves without losing more cloth or skin than necessary.

It’s going to be an interesting week.

So, Flower Adventures AU Flower brings Pride and Prejudice AU Ovi (let’s call him Alex) back, and Flower is trying to wait out the whole thing but of course they’re playing the Capitals that day. So Alex greets Geno and Sidney with, “Ah, finally a familiar face in these parts! You do not know how wonderful it is to see the Malkins at a time like this.”

“Oh, no–” Sidney’s shaking his head at this strangely polite Ovi. “I’m not–we’re not married.”

“Oh,” Alex says, taken aback. “But surely Evgeni has proposed, hasn’t he? In my world, he does dote on you so, almost to excess. I had to talk him out of buying you an estate in New York as a birthday present.”

“Sidney,” Olli says, mock flabbergasted. “Regency Geno is out there giving his husband mansions and you sleep with Geno for $20 supermarket roses?”

“Hey, I go to real flower shop,” Geno protests weakly. “Ask floralist. Florialist. Floral. Flower person.”

“They’re just dating for now,” Flower says hurriedly. “Maybe you should just sit in a room and not do anything for the next three hours.”

Of course, somehow he wanders out and bumps into Nicky, who topples right into his chest and would’ve fallen if Alex hadn’t caught him.

“Are you alright, my darling?” Alex asks him, gently holding his hand and kissing it.

“Ovi!” Nicky exclaims, looking up from some…shining rectangular device. He looks at Alex’s lips to his knuckles, then back at Alex’s face. “I’ve been texting you. Where have you been?”

Alex isn’t sure what half of those word meant, but one thing for certain is that his spouse is breathtaking in any universe, it seems. “I have…been doing the same, my love,” Alex says lamely.

“Why are you talking so funny?” Nicky asks.

Alex is about to respond until he hears his own voice, angry and callous, say, “Hey, creep! You back away from my boyfriend!”

He looks up, sees his own reflection headed towards him with a furious expression, and feels panic instead of curiosity for the first time.

-

(Things get sorted out. Alex sits with Ovi and Nicky after the game and talks about his life while Nicky listens very intently. Ovi looks like he’s about to burst a vein in his forehead.

“I worry about my husband, Nicklas, back where I’m from,” Alex admits. “I had told him I wouldn’t be out late, and will be back in time for supper.”

“How awful,” Nicky says, leaning in. “Well, knowing if it’s parallel universe me, I should be fine on my own.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Alex says. “My husband is a very capable, independent soul. I’m blessed that he agreed to marry me at all.”

Nicky swoons visibly. Ovi looks like he wants to take Alex out with a bat. 

“Just old timey me,” Ovi grumbles. “Is still me.”

“He’s so polite though,” Nicky says. “Maybe you can learn something from him.”

“I’m very polite!” Ovi retorts, rubbing his hands up and down Nicky’s thigh. “Talk to interviewers always!”

Alex follows the motion with a shocked look. “You two are not married, I presume,” Alex says. “I do apologize on behalf of him, uh, myself, for this abhorrently inappropriate behavior, dear Nicklas.”

“That’s it,” Ovi says, taking Nicky’s hands and staring right at Alex’s face as he says, “Let’s go have loud, sweaty pre-martial sex in hotel room ”

Ovi laughs at Alex’s scandalized expression until Nicky shoves a hand right in his face.

anonymous asked:

In tonight's edition of things that changed me: the realization that the ThiccTM person in the back-left of this instagram*com/p/zZMkhEOqs9/ video is Nicky. Like, I'm shook. But also, imagine the fire alarm going off, and Nicky -- calm, collected, dignified Nicky -- tugging on his boxer briefs and fucking booking it down the hall before anyone comes out because nobody knows that he and Ovi are a thing and just walking out of Ovi's room (w/Ovi, who sleeps naked, mind you) would be a bad idea.

ohhhh my GOD please im so in love with this 

anonymous asked:

Sidney and Nicky are able to trade bad "my boyfriend's frat thought I was ___ " stories, because while the Rhos all thought Sid was G's tiny blonde girlfriend, the Kappas thought Nicky was a mail-order bride that barely knew English. So, after seeing Nicky (Hot Nicky!!! From Sweden!!! ) at the "Frat Fair," Ovi buys him dinner, they get a couple of drinks, and then they have the great sex they had previously agreed upon in Ovi's room at the Kappa House. Furthermore, everyone in the house (1)

kitchen the next morning agrees that Ovi definitely had sex, because it was loud (the jury’s still out on whether or not loud sex is a “fineable fraternity foul” yet), but like, none of it was in English. Then, one of the pledges goes to ask Ovi what the pledgeship hell-task of the day is, but does a total 180 at the door when he overhears Ovi and someone translating very very dirty things back and forth to one another in Russian, English, and some other language (or more Russian???) But (2)

finally, Nicky goes down to the kitchen to make tea for the two of them while Ovi hops in the shower, but is met by half of the Kappas looking at him curiously. Nicky blushes bright red, says hello, and carries on with his business. As soon as he’s out of earshot, everybody turns to the Russian sophomore, Evgeny Kuznetsov, just like, “HOLY SHIT. IS THIS A REAL THING IN RUSSIA. DID OVI POLISH OFF THE BOTTLE OF RUSSIAN STANDARD AND GET HIMSELF A HUSBAND ILLEGALLY.” (3)

-

HAHHA

anonymous asked:

theres an old commercial that i dont have a link to right now but its basically ovi in a hotel room ordering a ton of room service food and at the end hes like "my name? sidney crosby" and then it cuts to sid opening his door to this huge cart of food and he just turns and says ruefully "ovechkin!" and its the best thing ive ever seen. i wish i had a link because its so important. irl sid is such a bad actor

omg i kind of don’t want to see it because i can already smell the second-hand embarassment