You sighed, squeezing the warm body beneath you. You pressed
a soft kiss to his bare chest before sliding off the bed, slipping one of his
t-shirts over your head. You walked around the bed in search for your discarded
clothing when you felt a hand gently grasp your wrist. You let out a breath.
You thought that he was sleeping.
“Leaving so soon, love?” he rasped, his accent thick with
You closed your eyes for a moment, knowing that if he
continued to talk you would somehow fall back into bed with him and not want to
leave at all. Hell, it was hard enough wanting to get out of bed a few minutes
“Gotta go,” you answered shortly, removing your hand from
his grasp, scooping your shirt and bra off the floor before scanning the area
for your jeans. His hand reached out again, gently brushing your back. You
shook it off, retrieving your jeans before sliding them up your legs. You ran a
hand through your hair, your eyes flashing back to Chibs who was watching your
“Stay,” he murmured softly, reaching out for you in an
attempt to entice you back into bed.
You let out a small laugh, bending down to nip teasingly at
his lower lip before running your tongue along the bite. Chibs groaned, his
hands reaching for your waist so that he could bring you closer to him. Before
he could get his hands on you, you stepped back, your eye dropping in a playful
wink. “I’ll be seeing you.”
“You keepin’ my shirt?”
You shrugged a shoulder, turning away from him and making
your way towards the door. “I guess you’ll just have to get it back from me.”
You sat at the bar with a few of the club members, sharing a
laugh and having a few drinks. You were still only 18, nearly 19, but that
didn’t stop you from drinking. Not that anyone around the clubhouse ever cared
too much. There was always your cousin, Opie, but he made sure that you never
had too much to drink or that one of his brother’s was around to handle you if
you got too tipsy. Typical.
“Easy there,” Jax chuckled, setting his hand on your knee.
You raised an eyebrow at him. “And when did you become my
A few of the guys laughed, Jax squeezing your knee in
response. “I’ll get you for that,” he joked lowly so only you could hear.
You turned your head towards him, a little surprised at his
close proximity. But it didn’t seem to matter much. You had grown up with Jax,
his charming smile and devilishly good looks were nothing new. Rolling your
eyes, you let out a quiet snort. “Yeah, I’d like to see you try.”
Jax eyed Chibs out of the corner of his eye. He wasn’t
stupid. He knew that something had been going on with you and the older Scott
for at least 3 months now. Opie and the other club members seemed to be
oblivious but it definitely never flew under his radar. Deciding to see how
hooked Chibs really was, Jax leaned a little closer, his lips nearly grazing
your cheek. “Better watch your back then, babe,” he mumbled lowly. His lips
brushed against your skin as he spoke, his hand traveling a little higher on
You jolted a little in surprise, not expecting the sudden
move. Apparently you weren’t the only one.
Chibs stood quickly from his stool, the action getting the
attention of the rest of the men who were sitting around the bar, Opie being
one of them. As if just registering his own movements, Chibs took a quick
breath, his eyes darting to anywhere but you and Jax. Why the hell had he stood up so damn fast? He couldn’t help but
chastise himself. You weren’t his. You were young, beautiful – the most amazing
woman he had ever met – but you weren’t his. The two of you had decided to hook
up a few months back because the attraction and sexual tension was undeniable.
However, somewhere between “let’s hook up”,
to the morning that you had left him in his bed only a few days prior, he had
fallen for you. Hard and fast.
“You good, brother?” Opie asked around a chuckle, wondering
what had gotten into him.
Chibs eyes flashed to your face for a moment before looking
back at Opie. He gave a slow nod, lowering himself back onto the stool. “Yeah,
Instead of questioning him further, the Sons fell back into
regular conversation, laughing and drinking they way they so often did.
You took a deep breath, knowing that Chibs hadn’t stood up
for no reason. He had obviously caught the exchange between you & Jax and
reacted before thinking. It could’ve been worse… especially considering the
fact that your cousin was here.
You hated this. You hated having to keep whatever it was
that was going on between you and Chibs a secret. You wanted to tell him you
loved him. Scream it to the world. But the two of you had decided early on that
it might not be the best idea to say anything about what you were doing to the
club, and definitely not Opie. Chibs was convinced that Opie would have his
head in a split second if he found out he was fucking his little cousin.
You shook your head, your heart aching with the thought that
you were nothing more than a good fuck and a body to keep Chibs warm at night.
You stood up, running a hand through your hair before turning towards Jax. “I
should get going. It’s getting pretty late,” you stated lamely, trying for a
Jax frowned, but nodded slowly. Opie was also looking at
you. “Alright, darlin’. Guess I’ll see you later then.”
You gave a quick nod, kissing him on the cheek before
turning towards Opie and doing the same. Pulling back, he set his hand on your
forearm. “You feelin’ okay?”
You let out a small laugh. “I’m fine, you big goon. Just
Opie cracked a smile before telling you to call him if you
needed anything. You agreed, raising your hand in a quick wave to the rest of
the Sons. They all grumbled their goodbyes as you turned to walk out to the
parking lot. You chastised yourself for overthinking the thing with Chibs,
knowing that you shouldn’t ruin a good thing. You weren’t sure how much longer
you had before he ran off with some croweater or potential Old Lady, so you
knew that you had to distance yourself a bit. It was just sex. Nothing more.
You made it to your car, your head jerking back slightly
when a hand came down on the drivers door, preventing you from getting in.
Recognizing his scent immediately, you turned towards him. “What are you-“
You couldn’t even finish your question before his mouth was
on yours. It wasn’t a heated kiss like the ones you were used too. It was
almost gentle, his mouth moving languidly against yours as he pressed himself
against you, trapping you between him and the car. His tongue slipped into your
mouth, gently massaging yours as his hair tangled in your hair. You let out a
soft sound of gratification, causing him to pull away a few moments after.
“Chibs, Ope is – “
“I don’t care,” he breathed, leaning his forehead against
yours as the two of you tried to catch your breath. “I’ll tell him about us, I
don’t give a shit. He can beat the shit out of me if he wants to.”
“Don’t say that,” you frowned, not liking the thought of
your cousin beating Chibs to a bloody pulp.
“I mean it. I don’t care if he knows, love. I don’t care if
anyone knows,” Chibs continued, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of your
mouth. He let his lips linger there. “I want them to know that you’re mine.”
For a brief moment, it felt as though the air had left your body.
Opening your mouth in an attempt to get some of that air back, you let out a
breathy laugh. “You think I’m that easy, Telford?” you teased, your hands
tangling in his hair.
A grin spread across his face. “I don’t fucking care. I love
you. I want you to be mine,” he said lowly, his accent only making the words
sound even more beautiful.
Before saying anything else, your tugged him forward so that
your lips met in a feverish kiss, all of the emotion being spilled into the hot
kiss. You broke away for a second, your lips hovering his. “I love you too,”
An impossibly large grin took over Chibs’ face. “God. Let’s
hope Opie doesn’t kill me, cause as soon as I get you alone, I’m fucking you
until you forget your own name.”
A Not-so-White Christmas (Tony Stark Holiday One-shot)
Hi, lovelies!! I just love the Holiday season and I am so freaking excited about all the Christmas fics floating around! You are all amazing and I can’t wait to read all of them! I’m still working on finding balance after hiatus so bear with me.
This fic was written in honor of the birth of the lovely Amberly, aka @marvelingatthewonder . Happy Birthday, my darling!! I hope you have a wonderful day!! I love you! :)
This was also written in tandem with Create Your Own Adventure stories by the other Avengers Trash Tower ladies. You can see the beginning and their fics HERE.
The two months preceding Christmas flew by entirely too quickly. You busied yourself, caught up in the holiday spirit as you were shopping, movie watching, and enjoying Pumpkin Spice-flavored everything which then was followed by Peppermint-flavored everything. This was your favorite time of year and you just had a feeling that this was going to be the best Holiday season yet.
But here you found yourself on Christmas Eve in the mostly-empty tower with a gloomy expression upon your face. Not exactly how you had planned it.
The entire city sprawled before you, a spectacular view visible through the floor to ceiling windows of Stark Tower in the heart of New York City. Slumped in a comfy chair in the common room, you propped your head up with a hand under your cheek, a mournful sigh escaping your lips. It was a beautiful view, for certain, but not the one you wanted. Well…not quite.
Dear Future Self,
Read this the next time you have a crush
1. You’re probably not gonna expect it, at least not at the beginning. I know it’s cliché, but it’s just like when you play that punch buggy game, and someone just punched you so now you’re scouring every car. But even though you’re looking, and believe me, it’s okay to keep looking, you’re going to get distracted for a moment and that’s when it’ll show up. You won’t forget for long though. You’ll know you like him. You’re probably never gonna have one of those movie moments where you don’t realize you’re falling for someone. That’s not you. But for the duration of your first meeting with him, you’ll just act without analyzing, you’ll step back and you won’t make an effort to get close to him, because you won’t think about it. Odds are, this first meeting is going to be your favorite one, and you’ll look back on it to justify everything you do in the future. I’m sorry.
2. You’ll go home, you’ll go to bed that night, and that will be the first time you imagine him with you. You’ll hold the idea of him close to you for a little while, like a small, warm little flame that no one else can see, fueled by the fresh memory and the idea that he probably likes you too.
3. A few days will go by with nothing happening, and you will start to get worried. Your fuel is running out, you need something new to hold on to. You start asking your friends for reassurance that he does like you, based on what you describe. You’re gonna be irrational, you’re gonna think he’s actively avoiding you. You’re gonna try to think through that memory as if to burn it into your brain so you never forget the details, but they’re like quicksand. You’re gonna analyze every text he sends you and you’re gonna bend over backwards trying to put yourself in his shoes but his mind doesn’t work the same way yours does. You’ll worry that by overthinking this, you are ruining any chance you have of something developing naturally, and when you see him again, you are probably going to try hard to get close to him. Remember, you are still capable of having a conversation and bringing your personality even when you’ve thought about it in advance.
4. You’re gonna ask him out. Deny it or postpone it all you want, it’s inevitably going to happen. You’re gonna try to find the perfect wording, but it won’t really matter because if he likes you, he’d say yes no matter how you say it, and if he doesn’t, you could rewrite Shakespeare’s sonnets and he’d still say no.
5. Hate to say it, but he’s probably gonna say no. And you’re going to understand that, instantly, that it’s a clear no. You’ll try to distract yourself with other people. You’ll say it’s to avoid being sad, but really, what you’re actually afraid of is getting your hopes up. Try to remember that people have quotas on how much of your guy talk they will listen to. You’re gonna want to just lay down on their couch like they’re your therapist, but you’ll be happier if you just start up a natural conversation. Don’t even bring him up at first. You think that what you need is to just spill it all out, but that really doesn’t make you feel any better. You’ll be happier with a true distraction, not a consolation. Remember, there’s no rule saying you have to say everything that pops into your head.
6. You might feel relief, even though you think you’re supposed to be sad. You’ll probably be somewhere in between emotions, and you won’t want to explain it because it will put you backwards. There is nothing you’re required to feel. People are gonna tell you to get over it because you never dated him. Fuck them. Feelings don’t have to be reciprocated to be real.
7. The first night is going to be hard. You’re going to try your hardest to fantasize about someone else, because you know getting your hopes up about him is dangerous. But it will be like trying to break an addiction. Your brain has already formed pathways and connections associating thoughts of him with pleasure. You’re like Pavlov’s dog. He’s like a meme, when you see it you think of every other version of it you’ve seen and that’s what gives it so much power to convey meaning. You’re conditioned to enjoy thinking of him. Trying to imitate those connections with someone you invented won’t happen in one night. You will be tempted to take the easy path and think of him. You’ll be able to resist for one or maybe two nights, but you will cave.
8. You’re gonna find some little piece of hope and latch on to it. You thought it was all uphill after he rejected you. You always forget this part. You’ll think that there’s some miscommunication, or some way he could change his mind. It’s probably not true. You know it’s not logical, but that won’t stop you from thinking it. You’ll want him so badly it seems impossible for him to not want you. You’ll think he’s perfect for you. No matter how many people you’ve said the same thing for, there will always be some reason why this one is different. You’re aware of this. You still feel it. You won’t ever find another man just like this one, but you’ll find others and you’ll fall for them for different reasons. You’ll try to hold on to the memory, but not everything has to be remembered. You’ll remember what is important, and everything else will no longer be important to you by the time you forget it.
9. You’ll try to force yourself to be over him, but it doesn’t work that way. You can’t force your thoughts to be what you want them to be. There’s no way to think yourself through it. There is no “done.” You’ve got to let yourself be sad. You’ve got to let yourself indulge in foolish hope. You don’t have to tell anyone, because they’ll say you’re being ridiculous. Telling people really doesn’t help you, you know. You think it does, but really you’re just hoping they’ll tell you he likes you after all, but they can’t tell you that, so you’ll be disappointed. You’ll feel ridiculous, but that’s just how it is. Love never was a rational feeling.
10. For awhile, you’ll want to be friends with him. Don’t be fooled, you are not over him if you’re still trying hard to keep his attention. You’re going to hope he cares strongly about you in a friend way. He probably doesn’t. This is the point when you will confess things to him. You want closure. You’ll think you have it, and then a few days later you won’t anymore and you have to say something else to him. You’ll just throw the whole towel in because there’s nothing more you can risk at this point, right? But it’s okay if things get left unsaid. That doesn’t mean you don’t feel them.
11. Eventually, you’ll wake up and realize you’re not thinking about him as much. It just sort of happens. Just like when you cut your foot open and you didn’t know how you would even know when it was okay to walk on it again, but after a little while it just healed and before you knew it you were walking without even thinking about it. You’ll still think of him from time to time. You’ll still have setbacks, but they’ll grow less frequent. If you really like him, you probably won’t ever be 100% over him, you’ll still see him sometimes or he’ll pop up into your thoughts and for an afternoon you’ll fantasize about him again. That’s okay. Everything you feel, throughout this whole process, is okay. Sometimes your feelings are going to suck. You’re going to try to foresee everything, because you think you know it so well, and you’ll want to keep control over yourself. Things will happen that you won’t predict, but try not to get frustrated at yourself for feeling these perfectly natural, human feelings. Sometimes it’s going to suck. Let it suck. Let yourself be miserable, and when the time comes, let yourself be happy and hopeful. Try things, even if you’re afraid they won’t be reciprocated, even if you’re afraid of looking like an ignorant fool. Being obtuse isn’t the worst thing a person can be.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: there’s this girl, see—a pretty little thing—and she’s supposed to be the hero of the story. But everything she does is by the men around her. She lacks agency in her own story. She’s not acting independently. She isn’t free to make her own choices.
Like, say, a woman without a voice, and the sword who’s there to fill the silence?
That’s the glaring red flag that comes with Transistor: it sure looks like a game where you’re not supposed to project yourself into the character of Red as much as want to protect her. If Red doesn’t have a voice, then it’s really the sword’s story, isn’t it?
It’s so glaring that it seems like Supergiant Games wants you to think that going in, because the first thing they do is turn that impression on its head. Red doesn’t just have agency within the world of Transistor—the game itself is an exploration of what that means.
We’re going to dive deep into spoilers (right through to the game’s end), so stop here if that’s a problem.
***Took this one in a different direction ❤️ It’s after Donna but Lyla and Opie aren’t together nor have they ever been. Also thank you guys for being so patient. ***
“Look who decided to come back. You done running away from your problems?” You looked down at a stain on the floor, Gemma’s eyes burning holes into you. “I miss him.” “You should’ve thought about that before you jumped to conclusions and abandoned him.” You nodded and looked up, making eye contact with her. “I fucked up Gemma. I know. I shouldn’t have left but he shouldn’t have been running around and hanging out with pornstars when he should’ve been home with me. I just want to know where we’re at. Where he’s at. See if we can try to make things right.”
She eyed you sideways, her lips pursed. It was obvious that she was furious and with somewhat good reason. Opie was like a son to her and you’d hurt hurt him. You’d liked Opie from when you’d first gotten to Charming but the moment you’d found out he had a wife, you backed off and accepted that you were better as friends. Things had remained that way all the way up until Donna was killed. Her death had shattered Opie and of course, you’d been the one by his side. You were the only one that he’d let in and he’d confessed his feelings for you one drunken night a couple months after her death. He’d told you that he’d fallen for you after she died, your love and compassion drawing him in, and after some deliberation you decided to give it a chance.
You’d been together for 8months now. You’d gotten him in a much better place, your love and affection bringing him out of that rut. He missed her, you knew that, but didn’t bother you. She’d been his first love, his wife and they’d built a life together, now you were building yours. Or so you’d thought.
Opie had then started to become distant in the last couple weeks and had spent a lot more time away from home than at home with you. You understood that things with the club were getting rocky and were bringing a lot of stress on the Sons so you’d left it alone. Some days he would come home late, some days he wouldn’t come home at all. You’d had suspicions but had shoved them down. One night you’d cooked a nice dinner for the two of you, only for him to tell you that he was going to crash at the clubhouse after a rough day. Not happy about it, you’d told him it was fine and that you could have your dinner the next day when he came home.
The next morning however, you’d found out from Juice that he hadn’t been there last night at all and that him, Jax and Happy had all been down at Cara Cara. Needless to say, you’d been angry and hurt. You gotten drunk and confronted him about it when he came home, not giving him a chance to really explain himself. You let the frustration of him being distant for weeks and never home, along side your childhood fear of not ever being good enough build up to where nothing he said mattered and you’d walked out. Now after a month, you were back. You’d had time to think, mainly about how foolish you’d been and all you wanted to do was be back in the arms of the man you loved.
You continued to look at Gemma, refusing to buckle under her glare. “I just want things to go back to how they used to be.” She nodded after a moment and stood. “Go.” Without a word, you stood as well, walking out of the TM office and into the clubhouse. Juice spotted you first and smiled apologetically. He still felt like it was his fault since he’d told you. You simply smiled, letting him know it was fine and made your way back to Opie’s dorm. You knocked lightly and heard his tired voice tell whoever it was to come in so you opened the door and stepped into the room, your eyes locking with his as he looked up from cleaning his gun on the bed.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” You looked down and swallowed, his tone sharp. “I just…I wanted to talk. About what happened.” “What is there to talk about? You skipped out on me for a month. That’s it.” You nodded. “I know. I just wanted to kind of clear somethings up. I just want to lay it all out. I want to know where we’re at…Do you still love me?” The look in his eyes had you stepping back a bit. You didn’t think he’d ever hurt you but he was holding a gun and from what you’d heard from Juice, he wasn’t all that stable since you left him. Suddenly he was up and in your face.
“Really?! You walked out on me and you’re asking me if I love you?” You stayed looking at him even though your heart was telling you to leave. He was raising his voice and whoever was in the bar area could probably hear but you also knew you needed to stop running from things or you would never be happy. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I just…you weren’t home much and I felt like maybe you didn’t want me around anymore. Then the Cara Cara thing. I just-” “What CaraCara thing?” “That night I made dinner? You said that you were exhausted and that you weren’t coming home because you were gonna crash here. But then I found out you were over there.”
He laughed and the sound both angered and hurt you. “You think that’s funny? That I slaved over a stove to make you a nice meal and not only do you not show up but you’re off hanging out with pornstars while I’m stuck at home eating by myself?” “That’s not what happened!” “That’s why I’m saying I want to talk.” “Talk about what, how you always run away from your problems? How you ruin good things because you overthink so much? How you’re so selfish that you won’t even let me explain what happened, you just take off like I meant nothing to you?!”
By now he was yelling and you were sure everyone could hear. Even though what he was saying was true, it didn’t hurt any less to have him so angry with you. He was all you really had and now your insecurities had ruined it. With tears in your eyes, you nodded your head and looked away from him. “Yeah. About that.” He stayed standing In front of you, his chest heaving as he breathed angrily. “Why.” He didn’t ask it as a question.
“I thought you might’ve been cheating on me. You wouldn’t come home a lot and you were distant. You wouldn’t be as affectionate with me and I was trying everything I could to bring you back in and it just wasn’t happening. Then I found out that you missed dinner with me to be over there with all the pornstars. How was I supposed to feel? I know I should’ve let you explain but I was drunk and I was hurt. You mean everything to me and I couldn’t stand that thought of losing you to someone else. It was easier for me to leave you than have to hear you say you didn’t want me anymore because you found someone better. I do love you though.”
He stared at you, not speaking, but the anger had melted away from his face. He looked guilty but still hurt and reached out, wiping a tear from your cheek. “This rival of Luann’s came by the place and stole a bunch of shit. Wrecked the place, roughed up a couple of her girls. We went by to talk to her and se what she was missing so we could get it back for her. I wasn’t there to be with pornstars.” You stayed looking down. You felt stupid for jumping to conclusions when he really hadn’t been doing anything. It still didn’t explain why he’d been distant though.
“Then why have you been so cold lately? You’re not the same. You don’t show me affection the way you used to.” Opie blew out a breath and ran his hand over his hair. “I don’t want to lose you. Shit with the clubs been crazy, we’ve got a lot more enemies than we had before so I tried to push you away. What if they come after you? It scares me. I already lost Donna, I can’t lose you too. Then you walked out and I realized that I’d rather have you close. I can’t be without you.”
You smiled lightly, your tears glistening and placed your hands on his chest. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have acted like that. Do you forgive me?” “Are you gonna run away as soon as we have another argument?” Your smile faded and you should your head, looking down. “No. I promise I won’t leave again.” Opie felt guilty at the jab and grasped your chin, lifting you head to look at him. “I’m sorry. I won’t say anything else about it or you leaving. I understand why you did it. Let’s just move on.” You nodded and shifted your face to kiss his palm. “Ok.”