Lincoln Green by @escheeseman

Color: Lincoln Green / #195905

Lincoln green is the color famously worn by Robin Hood and his band of outlaws. It is named for the town of Lincoln, where dyers produced it by overdyeing blue cloth with yellow to create a rich green commonly worn by foresters and yeomen in 12th century England. It was the color of choice for Robin and his fellow rogues, no doubt for its use as camouflage in the green shadows of Sherwood Forest.

Gasping for air and choking on love

Pairing: one-sided!Yoonmin (+ established!Jikook in the background)
Fandom: BTS-fandom / A.R.M.Y.
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 1 068
Summary: Yoongi can’t breathe when Jimin is too close. And Jimin is always too close – but still never enough.
Author’s Note: I’m numb and broken and a masochist, and listening to chill trap on repeat – it’s my only excuse for writing this short and weird… stuff. Yeah. ^^
Inspired by & titled after the lyrics of this song + these three posts of the amazing @staycute1234 (I’m still waiting for someone who writes a proper intense and long love triangle-fic based on those three posts tho….. ;3 )

He is in pain, his heart bleeds constantly. It bleeds ink what flows across the paper of his notebook and forms words of lyrics. He already stopped counting the amount of sad love songs he had written in the past four years. His hair is dry because of overdyeing, his heart is dry because of overbleeding.
He wonders when will his heart finally get empty. Too much part of him had left on the papers already but he doesn’t really mind. He doesn’t want to feel.

Living is painful, feeling is unbearable, Yoongi thinks when Jimin kisses the maknae and then smiles at him.

Smooth curves and achingly sweet smiles – that’s Park Jimin, small and soft and caring. Honey skin and prettily sparkling eyes, full of innocence and naivity and kindness. It makes Yoongi sick, it makes him want to throw up. Every movement, every flutter of those long eyelashes is a grim reminder of that he is not able to hate Jimin – he never will –, but can’t not-love him either.
It would be so much easier, being able to hate him. It would be less suffocating.

Jimin kisses Jeongguk again, their tongues are visibly molding together and Yoongi grits his teeth.

You… You don’t deserve him, he wants to scream.

That brat doesn’t know what true, deep emotions are. Jeongguk doesn’t know how to pamper Jimin properly, how to treat him well, how to respect him. He is not thankful for his luck enough, he is not worshipping Jimin’s gloriousness enough, he is not mature for him enough. He is just not enough.
Yoongi has no illusions. He knows that Jimin deserves better than any of them but Jeongguk can make him laugh – and it seems like this ability was enough for an angel to fall from the heavens and choose him.

Jeongguk grabs Jimin’s waist and pulls the older into his lap. He wraps his arms around Jimin’s slender body and the possessiveness in this movement slaps Yoongi in the face.
When Jeongguk hit him in the Run MV it didn’t hurt because it was only acting.
But now, this punch strikes him right in the heart and crushes him inside like cracked glass.

“It’s inked on my skin to love, to trust, no fucks to give if all is forgiven
I don’t need nobody telling me it’s life and shit… it’s gonna be okay
I’m mad as shit, lost as fuck
I can’t even think
His scent bleached my skin
Reshaped my whole heart”

Yoongi watches him as he smiles while sleeping. He watches him as he inhales and exhales slowly, quietly. The bland silence blankets Jimin’s delicate figure – while in Yoongi’s ears the world bursts and breaks to the rythm of the drumming music.

Up and down. Rise and fall.

Jimin’s chest.
The waves of the ocean.
The life.

Up and down. Rise and fall.

This is a never-ending cycle, an eternal torture. Yoongi already knows that he has no chance against Jimin. He has no chance to get rid of his unrequited feelings and fall out of love. Jimin’s first smile for Yoongi was like oxygen, the second one was like sunshine – and the third one was a lost war.
Yoongi is laying on the bottom of the ocean, his heart is heavy with emotions and pins him down. Jimin’s smiles are the only oxygen and sunshine there, under the cold, dark water.

Being in love with Jimin is like heaven and vinegar, and Yoongi is an addict to the taste of heaven.

“Can’t need you like water
To thirst is a sin
Nothing good can come from one thing if one has too much of it
I was made for you
Saved for you
It’s just love just not what we think
So I’ll take every hit grow into my scars”

There is no air when Jimin is this close.
Jimin sits right next to him and Yoongi tries to breathe but his throat is on fire and his lungs are filled with salty water – the ocean is endless litres of tears.

His body burns when Jeongguk pats Jimin’s thigh – the touch is light, gentle and habitual. It reminds Yoongi that even though Jimin sits closely beside him, Jeongguk is on Jimin’s other side, too. It reminds Yoongi that Jimin is not his.

You… You don’t understand him, Yoongi wants to push Jeongguk away when he starts to tease Jimin with his height. Jimin needs positive words and compliments. Jimin deserves nothing but praises and confirmation about being perfect.
But he has no strength to do something, and seconds later Jimin and the maknae are kissing anyway. Yoongi sighs and looks away. He is falling apart slowly, into sharp, rough splinters what are collapsing under the weigh of newly bought Timberlands. Whenever he is knocked down and left to pick up the pieces of himself, he loses a bit more of himself each time. He fixes all the things Namjoon destroys but not everything can be perfectly, strongly glued back together again.

“My heart beats without me
I can’t sleep, he drowns me
Here comes the ripple effect of too many words I regret
Here comes the wave of emotions, we swam in the deep of it
Here comes the tidal of worthiness I’m sure of it
But they don’t know me like you do”

“Hyung,” Jimin says with a bright smile. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he breathes weakly. ’Hyung’… Yoongi is far from okay and his feelings are far from brotherly.

“Don’t regret it
It made a better me
It took everything
To give everything
I can’t even breathe in
It hurts too much…”

Jimin caresses Jeongguk’s hand, draws tiny circles with his chubby fingers on the maknae’s milky skin. When he notices Yoongi’s piercing gaze, he rises up his head and smiles at him. His nose crunches up adorably, and Yoongi knows that he lost one of the battles of this perennial war again. The oxygen runs out of his lungs, he is gasping for air and choking on love.

“Gasping for air and choking on love”

I love you,” Jeongguk whispers to Jimin. The older boy’s cheeks turn into rosy and his plush lips curl into a wide, dazzling smile.

I love you,” Yoongi shouts to Jimin but the waves of the infinite ocean between them absorb his broken voice.

Yoongi has never been a really good swimmer.

Thank you so much for reading it and I’m sorry! I hope you enjoyed this at least a little bit. ❤


Roadhog update! First of all, I decided to go full on overalls. They’ve got a really similar feel to what he has on which is some ridiculous futuristic overall type deal. Idk let him do what he wants 🐖
I took a gamble on some overalls on Amazon. I wanted them to have a camo print instead of having to paint it on since that always has a weird texture and doesn’t wear well annnnnd they had to be plus size obviously. The sizing listed was out of my range but I thought hey, let’s try em because I have no other options! And they’re A PERFECT FIT!!
The print was super dark and I plan to overdye them blue, so I had to take another gamble and bleach them. It’s always 50/50 doing that cause some fabric blends will literally shred apart when bleached. But holy shit I’m so happy with the results!! Next step is to dye them with a bright, light blue :D

Star Wars Halloween?

(and on a lighter note…)

OK, I’ve never been to a con, and have never cosplayed a character from a film (unless we count my Tin Man outfit when I was seven), but I have been a huge fan of costuming and Halloween all my life. 

When I saw TFA, I realized that for the first time ever, I might be able to make a decent costume for myself based on a favorite movie character.

I’m talking General Leia Organa, of course!

Yesterday I was at a regional thrift store (shout out to the Rochester, Minnesota Goodwill; beautifully organized, well-stocked, and with a costumed staffer providing concierge service worthy of the old Dayton’s Oval Room). I found some bits and pieces from which I think I can make a not-bad impression of Space Mom.

Here is the beginning of my costume, the parts pretty much as I found them, with some alterations begun:

I have an extension I think I can make stick onto my head for something like the General’s iconic hair. 

Blair the Spare thinks I should lose the glasses, but I headcanon that Leia wears glasses sometimes late at night when her eyes are tired.

The vest is a women’s sports coat with the sleeves taken off and most of the collar removed. The jumpsuit is a truly impressive piece of 1980s wonderfulness. It had the biggest shoulder pads I’ve seen since the Reagan era (which I removed. They made me look like a refugee from an ancient MTV music video). 

I’m going to try overdyeing both pieces to better match Leia’s TFA outfit. The belt will be a little trickier to make convincing, but seems pretty doable.  

I also found THIS. So I could dye my jumpsuit a different color and Willrow Hood the heck outta this thing with my data core instead.

So, anyone else putting together a Star Wars-related costume this month? What are you making? Let’s share progress pictures and final results!


…all business-y and whatnot. I hate dressing overly professional, so I always spice it up a bit.

shoes- Payless

tights- layered black tights and gray-ish lacey tights over them (I prob got them at Marshalls or TJMaxx or Kmart, but I can’t remember.)

dress- Target.  The top of the dress was stark white, and I didn’t love it. So I dyed it. Now it’s a more modern fleshy tone. Love it.  Dyeing stuff is my new favorite thing. It’s soooo easy!  I thought it would be a pain, but it’s really not.  (I’ve been using RIT from Hobby Lobby.)

necklace- Walmart


Here are just a few photos from my dyeing experiment last weekend. I was trying to recreate the two designs I made in my class at 3rd Ward but I didn’t get the results I was looking for. First of all, I only have 3 pots, which obviously limits me to 3 colors instead of the 4 I had in class.  Second, the black wasn’t taking to my fabric very well, not sure why. And finally I did not have proper wood blocks for my resist dyeing effort and instead used my husband’s old linoleum blocks. They warped a lot while in the dye and therefore didn’t “resist” enough. Even still, I think that was my favorite piece because it looks kinda watercolory.

Anyway, it was a good learning experience. I now have real wood blocks and I have some more ideas. Hopefully next time will have better results. Maybe I’ll try again today :)