“Let me tell you a little secret,” she drunkenly slurred her words as he looked down at her with amusement twinkling in his sober ones. His lips twitched into a smirk as he nodded for her to continue, “for awhile, it hurt. It took me months to recover, to be able to look at you without tears streaming down my face, to be able to smile at you without it being forced, to be able to say your name without choking on my words. It took me awhile before I can finally close my eyes to find that you don’t haunt my dreams anymore, to find that you are not occupying my mind anymore, to find that you are not a part of my thoughts anymore.”
She gave a nervous giggle before she stumbled over her feet, “it took me awhile. But I got there. I don’t know exactly how, but I did. Now, I don’t look at you the same anymore, I no longer put you on a pedestal, and when you are mentioned, I don’t cringe the way I used to.”
Her eyes traveled down his body before she bit her lip, “you have become a stranger to me and I don’t know whether or not to take that as a bad thing. Yet, here you are, helping me out of a bar because I can’t take a step without puking and all I can think about is how I don’t want you to touch me. I don’t want your help, I don’t want your pity, I don’t want your sympathy, I don’t even want you to look at me. You hurt me, you realize that, don’t you? You tore apart my heart and you threw the shredded pieces into the river so they can never be put back together. You ripped my heart out of my chest before slowly eating away at my soul. You fucked me up. You really fucked me up and I am trying to convince myself that it wasn’t that bad, that I am better now, that I can finally sleep at night. But I cannot even convince myself; nonetheless, you.”
Jennie B. // My voice cracked when I told him that I was over it and I fucking hate that not even my body can lie to him
As many of you know, we recently passed 100,000 subscribers over on our YouTube channel (though we are now over 135,400!), and to celebrate YouTube themselves sent us the famed ‘silver play button’! Once again we’d like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has supported our channel - we really couldn’t do it without you!
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Thanks once again, and hopefully we’ll continue to grow :)