oven toasted

  • Jyugo: I turned out perfectly fine!
  • Uno: Jyugo, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast.
  • Jyugo: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN!
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We were visiting Hangzhou, China last week and stood in line for the famous ‘Zhi Ma Nang Bing’ sesame flatbread near Wuhan Square. Each one is made from scratch, one by one, by a tight knit team who handle specific tasks. You get the round loaves handed to you seconds after they’re pulled from the oven, all warm and toasty, and they’re truly outstanding!!

Two open-faced grilled cheese sandwiches smashed together DO NOT make a regular grilled cheese sandwich.

The proportions of cheese to bread are way off, so you end up with a pile of melty cheese and a bit of bread in the middle. Learn from my mistakes.

Sleepy (Mingyu)

Originally posted by moncheriwonwoo

A/N: based off of today when i woke up bc i’m a light sleeper. hungry and sleepy. also lazy. the idea came up when i had to debate to get out of bed

  • You had awoken to the sound of Mingyu leaving your shared bedroom
  • You groan because it way to early to for you to get up looking at the clock it was only 6:02
  • You stare at Mingyu changing and he notices you awake
  • “oh are you awake now go back to sleep, I’m going back to the flea market”

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anonymous asked:

don't make fun of foodies just b/c you don't know what a bayleaf is lmao

gonna give you a main course of my organic, free range backhand served with a side of oven toasted garlic kale chips, bitch

Omochao: “And now; the leader of the Freedom Fighters.”

Sally: “Two minutes ago a nuclear bomb was dropped in the city of-”

Cream *Over intercom as Sally continues talking*: “Mr. Antoine, your toast just came out of the oven. Repeat; your toast just came out of the oven.”

Sally: “-and seeing as how I only scheduled ten seconds for this meeting, that’s all I have to tell you. Remember what I said, especially the part about breathing.”

Announcement, an Everlark Drabble

This was all Peeta’s idea. I didn’t want to do it. Not like this anyway. But Peeta can always come up with some way to convince me of doing things I never even knew I wanted.

It’s how we ended up having sex the car once.

Or sneaking off at Finnick and Annie’s wedding to make out in a coat closet.

Or the time he got me to go sky diving when I would rather have endured a root canal without pain killers.

But a baby announcement is something big. And I wanted to do it quietly. Just call our family and friends and let Prim plan the biggest, most elaborate baby shower imaginable.

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His fingers bleed.

He picks and picks and scratches at the dry skin of his porcelain hand, his chipped nails scraping halfheartedly at the flecks that fall to the ground like snow.

Akutagawa has never thought much on self-care - it’s a pesky little thing, made for those who didn’t stain their hands crimson every night, made for those who had real homes and parents who tucked them in bed at night as a child.

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Sunday Pun Day

Originally posted by chiminichangas

Genre: Fluff

Words: 2k-ish

Pairing: Jin x Reader

A/N: I may lose a lot of my followers because of this fanfic, or maybe I’ll gain more. But read at your own risk, the number of puns in here is off the charts


I decided to spend the night at Jin’s since we are having the get together at his house. I woke up to the smell of breakfast being made when a smile crept up on my face. That was always the best about staying with Jin: his cooking. I looked over to the bedside table and saw that it was 10 am. I guess Jin let me sleep in.

I got up out of bed and headed to the kitchen.

“Good morning babe.” I sang and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for letting me sleep in.”

“Did you sleep well?” Jin asked as he was focused on cooking.

“Yeah.” I looked at the small little mess Jin had made. “What are you making?”

 “Oh, nothing much. Just some omelets.” 

I walked over to the kitchen island, hopped on it and crossed my legs; admiring the wonderful, that was Jin’s broad shoulders. I looked around and saw that there were many ingredients out: eggs, avocado, tomatoes, cheese, and many other vegetables.

 “We have a lot of things to do today Y/N,.” Jin said.

“Really? Like what?”

“Important adult business.” He replied as he was chopping onions 

“What kind of adult business?” I teased.

“Y/N! Not like that!” Jin sharply turned, mimicking his shocked face. “We have to clean, go grocery shopping, prepare for tonight’s get together.”

“Well, why can’t it be other adult business?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Because Y/N, we’ll never get things don,” Jin explained as he turned back to continue chopping onions.

“Very true.”

Although Jin and I didn’t live together entirely, we still helped out with responsibilities. I washed the dishes because he always cooks. I sweep, he mops. Our chores are consistent no matter if we’re at his house or mine. We also had a small wardrobe at each other’s house; he had clothes at my place, I had clothes at his. Living with Jin is perhaps the best thing I can ever ask for. But..there is one thing that is both a curse and living.

“Aigoo, this egg really cracks me up, ” Jin said as he cracked the egg open.

The jokes. There is never escaping the jokes. I absolutely love them, because when I’m feeling down, they brighten up my day…not matter how bad they are. I looked down too embarrassed to acknowledge the joke. But just as always, a smile slipped onto my lips.

“You know how it is Y/N. You spend the day with me, you get a day filled with laughter.” Jin noted.

“I don’t know babe. Sometimes they’re just too bad to laugh at.” I confessed.

“But you must admit that you do laugh at some.” Jin turned and gave me his signature hand kiss.

“Of course.” I smiled widely. Along with Jin’s jokes, his hand kisses are the best in the world.

“Well, there’s bread in the toaster oven, can you pull them out, so they don’t burn?”

“Sure thing babe,” I said. I jumped off the kitchen island, walked over to the toaster oven.

“Otherwise they’re toast.” Jin started laughing so hard. His semi-high pitched individual squeaks were what his laughs were like. An exchange of air always happened in the middle of the ehe ehe ehe ehe…or ah ah ah ah aha. Either way, it sounds like when I clean the mirrors with glass cleaner. I couldn’t help but shake my head and laugh at HIM laughing. It’s the cutest thing to see him turn red, gasping for air, and sometimes even cry at how funny he’s being.

As Jin finished up breakfast, I decided to set up the table. I placed our 2 floral placemats, 2 glasses, and eating utensils. The moment I finished, Jin sauntered over one plate in each of his hands. He effortlessly placed the plate full of eggs, toast, pancakes, and fruit in front of me.

“WOW!!! Looks amazing!” I praised.

“Eat Well” Jin smiled.

Within 30 minutes, we had devoured the delicious delicacy that was Jin’s pancakes. Jin picked up his plate, stood up and proceeded to take mine as well to the kitchen sink.

“Jagiya” he turned to me “do you mind sweeping up the house? I’ll wash the dishes instead.”

“Sure thing.” That’s strange. I always wash the dishes since Jin cooks, but I guess he wants to do the dishes. I headed to the large kitchen closet that held all of our cleaning supplies. I opened the door and saw that the broom was near retirement. Bristles were sticking out every which way. “Honey! I think it’s time we get a new broom.” I shouted.

“OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!” Jin yelled, “DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW BROOM?”

Great..what late night telecommercial did he watch now.

“APPARENTLY IT’S SWEEPING THE NATION!” Jin bursted out.

 I stopped dead in my tracks. Why…why are the jokes so bad? “I’ll give it to you, that was clever.” I noted. He obviously didn’t hear me from his high-pitched, breathy, and whale shrieking laughter. I began sweeping, and by the time I finished, Jin caught he breath and began washing a few dishes from this morning’s breakfast. “I’m done!” Jin said as he turned off the faucet. “Time to go grocery shopping.” We got dressed, grabbed our reusable bags and walked out the door. We walked over to the local market since it was 5 minutes at the most.

We walked through the automatic doors and were greeted by friendly hellos from the cashiers. “What’s on the shopping list?” I asked Jin.

“I don’t know, I didn’t bring one.” He began walking. I grabbed a small basket to put the items we came here to get. “What do you mean you didn’t bring one?” I eyed him.

“Uhhh..yeah exactly that. I don’t have the list. Besides, it’s just the guys and your friends…not some holiday feast.” he defended.

“Oh alright,, ” I said defeated.

We walked over to the produce section since it was the first thing we saw. I looked around for the things we needed. “Tomatoes, yes. Lettuce, yes. Potatoes, no. Onions, yes and avocado yes.” I began walking away when I saw Jin standing by the radishes. As I approached him, Jin looked over to me holding a radish. “You know Y/N when something is rad but not too rad…it’s called radish.”

“I…uhh..you know what, let’s just go get the meat for the burgers.”

“WE’RE MAKING BURGERS?!” Jin ecstatically said.

“You’re making them, remember?”

“Oh yeah.” Jin chuckled.

It occurred to me that my friend Sam was visiting as well, which meant she wasn’t going to eat burgers since she’s vegetarian.

“But don’t forget babe, we also have to get turkey meat.” I reminded him.

“Why?” He inquired.

“Well, you remember Sam don’t you?”

“Oh. Do I know him?” Jin obviously didn’t remember Sam.

“SHE’s the vegetarian friend of mine,” I responded

“Clearly I haven’t met herbivore,” Jin smirked.

“OH MY GOD JIN! NOT EVEN 2 MINUTES HAS PASSED SINCE YOUR LAST JOKE!” I yelled and gave him a murderous look.

“More like 5 minutes, but your right. That joke was clearly a missed steak.” And like that, Jin ran far into the aisles of the store.

After I had grabbed the meat, I wandered around the store looking for Jin, as a mother would for her 5-year-old son. I found him in the dessert section with a pondering look on his face.

“Hey.” Jin jumped a little when he heard me whisper from behind him. “What you thinkin’ about there mister?”

“Nothing much, what are we going to have for dessert?”  He asked

I figured it was my time to crack a joke. I didn’t want Jin to have all the fun today. “Well,” I chuckled, “I figured we’d have a sunday…since you know it’s Sunday” I winked at him hoping he would laugh at my forced joke.

“Is this how Yoongi feels?” Jin mumbled to himself.

“What?” I looked at him quizzically, not knowing what he meant.

“This second-hand embarrassment.”

“Oh my god Jin, I wasn’t that bad.”

“Yeah, you were. Nice try though Y/N, but please, leave the jokes to me.” Jin smiled. After all, his dad jokes are one of the many things that make him unique.

We grabbed the ice cream, whipped cream, and maraschino cherries since they were all in the freezer aisle. As we headed towards the cash register, I stopped dead in my tracks. Fear settled in when I realized we missed a vital ingredient.

“Babe, we forgot the nuts.” Jin sharply turned around saw the fear on my face, and like the superhero he was, began bolting down the aisles looking for the nuts. I ran beside with him, lugging the now heavy basket on my forearm. As we ran down the bread section, Jin spotted a worker and breathlessly asked where the nuts were at.

“They should be with the bakery items, sir.” And off he went, me trying so hard to keep up. He took a quick pause to scan the items in front of him. “AH! Here they are.” He reached out and grabbed the small container of peanuts. It was a childhood rule of mine that it is not a sunday unless it had nuts. We dragged our feet back to the cashiers, tired from all the running.

“That was nuts. I can’t believe we almost forgot them.” Jin huffed.

“Did you just-”

“Hello there, hope you were able to find everything ok.” The young guy interrupted me.

As if Jin knew what I was going to ask him, all he did was wink back at me. I placed the items on the conveyor belt, and as the cashier is scanning the items, Jin is putting them in bags accordingly.

“Your total is $60.85,” the clerk said. “Are you paying cash or card?”

“Cash” Jin replied.

Jin handed the clerk the money. The young guy proceeded to push a button which I assumed opened the cash register. When it didn’t open the young guy tried again, and again, and again. “I’m so sorry Mister,laugh” the guy said flustered at his attempts.

“Ahh..that’s fine. I’ll just pay with card since it doesn’t make much CENTS to pay with cash right now.” The young kid obviously not immune to Jin’s dad jokes started laughing hysterically.

“See Y/N. I am funny” Jin gloated

All I managed was a smile. Seeing the kid smile made me realize how corny Jin was, which is why I absolutely love him. “But I will admit, that one was clever.” I mumbled.

With both of us carrying groceries, we sped walked our way back considering the bags were heavy. I began ascending our porch steps when I saw that Jin was behind me.

“Babe, come on. They’re coming in an hour” I rushed him.

“I know, but you know me I don’t trust stairs.” He pouted.

“They’re always up to something,” we said simultaneously.

 “I know, I know. Now come on.” I added.  And in that moment, I saw Jin’s pout turn into a frown.

“You couldn’t let me have that one, now could you Y/N?” Jin angrily questioned as he unlocked the door.

“Honey, you made the kid laugh back there. You’ve made at least 10 jokes at the store back there. Besides, you always tell this one.” I said.

I rushed in with Jin behind me, scurrying to put the ice cream away and preparing the bison meat for the burgers. By the time we were done, it was 6 pm.

DING DONG!

Just in time. “Jin they’re here!” I shouted. I ran over to the door, breathless since the moment we got back.

“KATHERINE! NATALIE! MAX! SAM!” I hugged each one as they stepped in.

“Wow…your house smells so goood!” Natalie praised.

“I’m so glad you found someone who cooks better than you Y/N. I was getting worried there about you and your boyfriend.” Max teased.

“Oh shut up. At least she’s not the one who puts American cheese on instant ramen” Katherine defended.

“You guys can just sit at the table outside already, the food will be out in a moment.” I held my arm out gesturing to the slider doors at our house.

I ran to the kitchen to help Jin plating the food.

DING DONG!

“I got it,” Jin said.

I began placing the tomatoes on a huge platter when I heard a loud commotion coming from the front door.

“AYYYYYE!…JIN HYUNG!” I recognized those voices anywhere, it was Jin’s famous crew. It wouldn’t be a get together without Jimin, Jungkook, Hoseok, Namjoon, Yoongi, and especially Taehyung.

“Turn Up!” Tae shouted, as if he actually read your thoughts. As they passed by the kitchen to walk over to the patio, I was greeted by many enthusiastic hello’s and sweet smiles. Once I was done setting up the platter full of leafy lettuce, juicy tomatoes, rings of onions, and the many necessary ingredients for the burgers, Jin and I carried the platters and walked over to the patio. When I sat the platter on the table, and took my seat next to Jin, we all began building our burgers.

“Thanks for making the veggie burger for me Jin. Thank you for remembering Y/N.” Sam said.

“But Jin hyung, what kind of meat is this? It’s a bit bigger than a beef patty.” Namjoon asked inspecting the patty that sat in between the burger he finished assembling.

“It’s bison. I figured you guys might enjoy them.” I assured Namjoon.

Once everyone finished making their burgers to their specific modifications, the room fell silent as well collectively took a bit out of our burgers. Well, almost silent. Just like his dad jokes, Jin isn’t himself unless he makes his “nom” noise after the first bite of the food he’s eating. But in my honest opinion, it’s one of the cutest noises out there in the world, right after his adorable windshield wiping, window washing laughter.

“Oh my god” Jin said, his voice muffled from the food in his mouth. “What did the buffalo say when his son went off to college?”

“Nope..” Yoongi began stuffing his mouth with even more food. Probably to prevent him from saying something mean to Jin.

“BISON!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA” Jin was laughing so hard, he almost choked on his burger. And when he suddenly fell silent, I began to get a little worried that air wasn’t passing through. “Mmm…what color is a burger?” Jin asked enthusiastically.

“BURGUNDY!” I heard Jimin say from the other side of the table. Exactly like earlier today, Jin went from a smile to a pout. Jin looked hurt. Everyone know’s that you’re not supposed to guess when Jin tells a joke, it’s the the unspoken rule of the group, but we all know it’s there. Although, occasionally we do it to tease him.

“Sorry hyung, but you’ve told that joke before, besides, laughing hurts my pride.” Jimin said softly.

“Ahhh…that’s ok, your hyung has plenty of other jokes.”

“Besides babe, you’ve made some pretty clever and not so clever ones today” I added.

“How many?” Jungkook asked.

“6? 7? Maybe 10?” I answered, each number receiving a higher pitch of my voice from the last.

“How many did you laugh at?” Yoongi looked at me coldly. I swear, he has less tolerance for Jin’s jokes than I do.

“Externally 2. Internally, all” I confessed.

“See,” Max started “this is why you two were meant for each other. You’ve always like jokes; bad, good, lame, or cool. Plus, you always made all these song references back in high school and there was no escaping them.”

“Yeah…but you always enjoyed the song references. We sang so many songs together back then!” I said, trying to defend my cheesiness.

The dinner ended around 10 pm after some much needed socialization, along with some we deserved happiness. Luckily, everyone helped with cleaning up, so Jin and I would be able to go to bed. It was an exhausting day after all.

We both crawled into bed, fatigued from our day. I turned to Jin and kissed him on the cheek “Thanks for the jokes babe.”

“I’m glad you enjoy them.” He smiled.

“I always do, no matter where I’m at, or what I’m doing. I always think about your jokes and the joy in your laughter. Good night, love you.” And with that I gave him one last kiss and we both fell asleep.

Much Ado About Nothing; Part Two (Reader x Steve Rogers)

Part One 

Word Count: 1910

Summary: Much like the play written by Shakespeare, the reader and Steve have a VERY complicated relationship. A hateful one, even. But the Barton clan won’t take that for an answer.

A/N: Enjoy Part Two! Had to get this out before that blasted Civil War trailer hits tomorrow. It will be a blood bath. SIGH


“I’m not a mat that you can walk over, Rogers. You can’t just say things like that and expect me to automatically forgive you. That’s not how it works,” You spat quickly, your eyebrows furrowed angrily. Steve sighed. It had been two months since you fully looked him in the eye. He was frustrated and tired of it.
“Y/N, please,” Steve groaned. Just then, you heard a crash from the living room, followed by an eruption of giggles.
“Oh god,” You mumbled, dropping your cookie onto the counter and storming into the den, Steve following quickly behind you. Steve slightly chuckled at the mess in front of you.
“So that’s why you shouldn’t leave them alone for more than five minutes.”

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i have so much adrenaline in my body because i was pooping and i heard a loud noise and hannah scream and then the sounds of a struggle and i thought someone broke in and was attacking her and i ran into the kitchen dick and ass out with my mag-lite ready to do battle but she had just started a fire in the toaster oven trying to toast a single tortilla

I had to get ugly at work today
  • Me: *minding my own business, cleaning the crumbs out of the sandwich toasting oven*
  • Ignoramuses at Subway: *talking about how they'd never vaccinate their children, because, autism*
  • Me: Excuse me, but I couldn't help overhearing you talking about autism. I happen to be somewhat of an expert on the topic. I have Kanner's syndrome.
  • Ignoramus: What's that?
  • Me: You don't know the proper name for classic autism, but you've somehow solved the medical mystery of what causes it?
  • Me: Listen. Let's just say that we live in some parallel universe where the entire medical community is wrong and Jenny McCarthy is right. Okay? Let's just say there's any chance that autism and vaccines have anything to do with each other. So what you're telling me is that you'd rather go through the pain of losing a child to some totally preventable disease that no one's heard of since the Oregon Trail than have a child like me?
  • Me: Do you even understand that that's what you're saying about yourself and your priorities by being against vaccinations?
  • Me: Because, if you honestly feel that way, I hope to God you never have children.
  • Me: *goes back to cleaning the oven*

Pumpkin Baked French Toast with Sweet Cinnamon Glaze

“Why do you never make these kinds of things for me?” asked my forever boyfriend life partner husband person yesterday, as I hauled this hot ‘n heavy delicious breakfast dish out of the oven.

“Because you would have one piece and I would go back to the kitchen six times to pretend to get water and eat a piece each time in secret, secret shame,” I said, glopping delicious glaze all over my contribution to the monthly marketing team meeting at work. 

Oh, you heavenly custardy crisp baked pumpkin french toast, you. This monstrosity is easily made the night before, kept in the fridge, and baked early in the morning before you head off to impress all your co-workers.

Did you notice I didn’t make a single nod to tightly-held cultural pumpkin theologies? Ten points on the food writing derby for Nellie.

You’ll need a 9x13 casserole dish and a very large bowl.

Baked Pumpkin French Toast

  • 10 cups of whatever fancy leftover challah or pain de mie or brioche or soft-ish slightly old white bread you might have on hand (this is important, in my opinion, because it’s a major component of the dish – you don’t want anything with super hard edges on it, because it crisps up further in the oven)
  • 7 large eggs (I personally like it a little eggy)
  • 1 cup of half and half (you can use cream, too), 1 cup of milk
  • 1 cup pumpkin puree (not pie filling)
  • ¾ cups granulated sugar
  • 1 tablespoons vanilla extract
  • Almost a teaspoon of ground cinnamon
  • ¼ teaspoon of freshly ground nutmeg

Cinnamon Cream Cheese Glaze

  • 4 tablespoons of softened cream cheese
  • ½ teaspoon of cinnamon
  • ½ teaspoon of vanilla
  • wee pinch of salt
  • 1 ½ cups of powdered sugar

1. Butter a 9 x 13-inch baking pan (I used salted and kind of loved it). Cut bread into one-inch cubes and place in a large bowl.

2. In another large bowl, mix together eggs, milk, pumpkin puree, sugar, vanilla extract, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Pour evenly over bread and toss very, very gently. I do this because I want everything to be coated, but be careful when you do this. Transition to the 9x13 pan, and cover pan with saran wrap. Store in the refrigerator for several hours or overnight. I like for the bread to really soak up the flavors.

3. When you’re ready to bake the French toast, set oven to 350F. Remove French toast from refrigerator and place in the oven as it’s preheating, because it’s Pyrex and Yahoo! Answers is a treasure trove of Pyrex conspiracy theorists and crazies.  Bake for 55-60 minutes, or until the French toast is set and golden brown.

5. While the French toast is baking, use a stand or hand mixer to whip up the glaze ingredients. 

6. Cover hot French toast bake with your cream cheese glaze. 

7.  Cover your face with your hands and mutter to yourself, “Good God, what have I done?" 

- Nellie