outtings

6

Guess someone’s gonna have a good birthday ;)

I had a blast drawing this!

Please do not repost

Over and Out

Moving on is a dramatic thing.

Like, one day this person is your everything, your first and last thought and every thought in between, your purpose and meaning, your moon and stars. You want nothing so much as to spend every moment, both sleeping and waking, with them.

Then one day it’s over and you wonder what the hell happened, how your everything could stop thinking that way about you, start making room for other or else. You think there were no problems, that it was great. You wonder why anyone would throw away something so great. You think, we never had a fight. You think it isn’t correct, that a mistake has been made.

And then you wait. You expect the love of your life to see sense. You believe the error will be corrected, the ship righted. You know there isn’t anything wrong with you. Well … then you start thinking, and you realize that maybe there were some departments you’d been slacking off on. Maybe all the departments. So you put your nose to the proverbial grindstone and start working on yourself because, well, you’ve got nothing better to do. This whole time you’re convinced that your everything is still your everything––you’re just waiting for the fog to lift and the sun to shine.

Plenty of drama may happen during that waiting time, because moving on is a dramatic thing. You might rediscover an old hobby. You might reconnect with long-alienated friends. You might make a long-procrastinated trip to see family, or you might travel elsewhere just for some fresh air and a change of pace. You might meet someone else––someone who sees galaxies in your eyes and hears symphonies in your laughter. Or you might not meet that person. You might just meet someone hot at a bar or a park or a grocery store and curse your lack of spontaneity.

Your mind starts to shift imperceptibly, and then one day you wake up, wipe the sleep from your eyes, and wonder what the hell you ever saw in that person you had heretofore reluctantly called your ex. Now that label settles with a soft stability that triggers a smile. Love is blind. Once you accept that love is no longer there, the blinders come off. You start to see this person for who they really are, and you notice the things you failed to notice before. Little by little, you realize that not only were you not happy, but this person is perhaps existentially incapable of satisfying your needs.

You are ready to move on, and moving on is a dramatic thing. You feel lighter, clearer. You look at your reflection in the mirror and see power and beauty. Now you know that you can, at last, do whatever you want: become a pirate, learn to surf, smuggle priceless artifacts, write in second person, dance in the streets, fuck poets. Shrug off the woolen cloak of plurality and fall in love again––this time, with yourself.

© 2017 by Jennifer R.R. Mueller

story time

So I was walking back from my last class of the day and this old guy who looked like a cross between dumbledore and filch spoke to me as he was rolling a smoke and was like “Hey how is your day going?” and me being polite stopped walking slightly and replied with “Hi good thanks.” and then he goes “Why are you walking so fast?” and I’m like uhh wtf so I told him “I just wanna get home haha.” Like I don’t even think I was walking that fast?? He then goes on to say “You should come sit down, come sit down with me.” and I sorta just laughed it off panicking slightly on the inside cause wtf?? and replied with “Nah I gotta get home.” and started to back up and turn around and carry on walking. And then this girl I’d never seen before appeared on my left and started to walk with me away from this man, she had obviously seen the interaction go down and talked to me was like wtf?? and I was like I know right wtf??? but anyway I was just so glad this girl turned up and had a chat with me hahaha