outofthedream

[ The last thing I’m going to say about the Ellen Page thing.

I’ve seen a lot of stuff in the tag that has been deeply disturbing to me. ’______, your turn,’ ;We all knew it, why did she even bother,’ and ‘I can’t wait to sleep with her now that I have a chance, etc.’

All of this is super gross.

No celebrity owes it to anyone to come out on any timetable but their own. It is not an obligation, it is not something that should be required in order to be an actor. Ms. Page has had at least one stalker she had to take to court, and is a private person by nature besides. I understand that it is important for representation and inspiration, but it is important when these things happen because the person in question felt the time was right for them to personally do so. If it was an obligation, it would cease to have meaning. For literally years now (since I’ve watched her tag since I came to tumblr,) people have been on Ellen to come out, as if it was their right to know. Now I see it with K-Stew and others, and I just have to shake my head. These are people, and the actor thing is secondary. It is up to the individual to walk the road of sexual awakening, not society with them just because they happen to be in the public eye. I recognize that the more people who come out, the better it is for the cause, but for God’s sake people, that still is up to the person who has to come out in the first place. To take away their agency just because they’re an actor is vile.

Secondly, no, we all didn’t know it. There are celebrities people assume are gay or bi, and then go on to have lives that are seemingly perfectly happy without a big coming out one way or the other. That’s okay. What’s equally okay is for someone to take a chance, as Ms. Page did last night, to use a platform for inspiration rather than a cheap attempt at publicity. She spoke out because it’s still incredibly problematic for people to speak of these things. I hope everyone finds the dichotomy of people insisting certain people are gay but also wanting them to shut up about it as fucking problematic as it is. I can’t even come out as an ally to my family. It is absolutely, jawdroppingly brave for someone in the public eye to come out. Do not belittle them for it.

Finally, STOP OBJECTIFYING PEOPLE. Stop making jokes about how you either have a chance now or you don’t. It’s tacky, God it is so tacky, to reduce a real watershed moment into a chance for you to get laid. It doesn’t make it less gross because we’re all women. So some respect for people you don’t even know, okay?

Old Woman Josie out. #mic drop ]

[ outofthedream: A couple morning notes:

I have to get my card shit sorted out today, which ought to be real fun an ocean away.

Congratulations to Ellen Page for finding a really honest, moving way to state her peace on the subject! That was an incredibly genuine coming out speech. That being said, anons in my inbox this morning, you are so reported for harassment and general grossness, and Ellen Page tag, stop saying how ‘you knew it’ and 'you can’t wait to sleep with her’ because that’s just as gross as any other objectification, you weird, weird people.

Any further crap will be blocked, although it seems to just have been one person since it all went away when I blocked. The only gif I can feel to sum up this situation is the following:

Have a great day! ]

[ outofthedream I just got some anon hate that I’ve deleted and reported, but I’m going to address what was said in it because this is coming up increasingly lately and I am sick and tired of it.

Stop complaining about ‘popular’ roleplayers.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Oh, cry more. Having a ton of followers must be so hard, I feel so much pity for you. But you know what? The more followers you have, the less replies to opens and memes show up. You instead get an increase in people either telling you what you should be doing on anon, or worse (to me) claiming that they’re too intimidated to rp with you.

This culture of fame or perceived elitism just has to stop, you guys. If someone posts an open, answer it. If someone says 'mutuals only’ and you follow them, do the thing. Tiny text, self promos, giveaways, or icons do not make a roleplayer great, and no one in their right mind thinks they do. Some players make stylistic choices, but they are not intended to make anyone feel separated or wrong! This is a goddamned game of Calvinball, people! There isn’t a rule set, there isn’t right or wrong beyond common human decency.

Which brings me to the main point; by making out elitist roleplayers as some kind of thing worthy of scorn because of some perceived aggression they have, you’re turning them into an 'other’. Once that’s happened, you have the classic us versus them scenario where those other people have values different than yours, and it’s easy to begin to hate them.

Don’t mistake what I’m saying as a defense for an actual prick. If someone is being an asshole, or hell, even just not your style of rp cake, unfollow them and move on. But do not assume because someone has x number of followers or a special sort of formatting that they have it out for you.

My layout, my icons, my text are all just pretty style things I like to do. I open up RPs the best I can as time permits, less than usual lately for obvious real life reasons. Please never think that I’m consciously out to make your experience hell, and it’s a safer bet to assume no one is. If someone is toxic, they out themselves in behaviors, not tiny text and icons. I do not use them to alienate anyone, I use them as a preference. And if you see it as an act of aggression, with all respect I think you need to step back and take a deep breath.

I am begging you, Tumblr. Stop making this a needless war. Please. ]