outdors

unpopular opinion

i hate goldendoodles/labradoodles

fucking. hate them.

not because they’re bad dogs (i dont find them cute but thats besides the point)

but because in my area, they’re the “it” dog. Everyone has one. Everyone is getting one. First it was respectable breeders, now it’s backyard breeders hoping to make a quick buck. I had a family bring a way too young goldendoodle some Amish people bred on a whim. It cost something like $600 and was infested with fleas and kept outdors 24/7 and never had human contact. It was just a mess of a dog that pissed and shit wherever whenever.

“They don’t shed! They don’t shed ever!” The stammering masses scream.

“Everything sheds! They shed less and shed constantly instead of in seasons, you morons!” I shriek back in vain.

“I want a goldendoodle!” Shouts the soccer mom in her yoga pants, Starbucks quivering in her hand. “But I want it cheap, already fixed, and with shots! I’m not spending a lot on this dog, my kid Laikayllah wants it for her birthday! Do you know any local breeders like this?”

“Unfortunately no, there’s no breeder like that. Why not adopt?” I ask meekly, already knowing the answer.

ABSOLUTELY NOT” The woman wails in frequencies commonly associated with erupting volcanoes. She slams the Starbucks drink down. I am showered in lukewarm latte. “Shelter dogs are mentally damaged! Shelter dogs are filthy mongrels with diseases!! I want a healthy dog, damnit!” The woman begins to froth at the mouth. The whites of her eyes darting angrily. 

“ARE YOU GONNA GIVE ME WHAT I WANT?! I AM THE CUSTOMER AND THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT FHFUHWIGSIHVJDUHE”

Her words descend into unholy demonic shrieking I cannot understand. It does not matter now. My soul has already left my body and roams to get as far away as possible.

flickr

10.2016 par ni kt

youtube

wow