Well, they started making out while being shot at, so I guess Mara and Quinn have to sort their feelings out now. The shuttle ride back from Ovech’s ship is… emotionally charged, shall we say. We veer toward NSFW without quite getting there. Much like Quinn, I am making y'all wait.
When Quinn returned to the shuttle he found Mara in the pilot’s seat plotting a course back to the
. Her gloves were stacked neatly on the console next to her and her jacket was undone, revealing flashes of a thin white undershirt when she moved. She looked up as he entered, the corners of her lips turned up slightly. She paused minutely in her movements, clearly sensing his mood, but turned back to the console and separated the shuttle from
“We must talk, Captain,” she said, glancing up at him.
“Yes, my lord.” He swallowed nervously.
He spent the next few moments in silence, watching her hands - agile red fingers dancing over the controls - as she worked. When they were a safe distance from
she pulled the lever of the hyperdrive and set the proximity alarm before rising from the chair. Quinn stiffened to attention as she turned to face him, gathering his courage. The sight of the wound in her shoulder - the wound he caused - fortified him somewhat.
“My lord, I must officially request to be reassigned.”
I’ve been meaning to write but i don’t seem to have much time, but now that I’m sobbing i found some time to write my feelings out. this dates back to when i was so young like 3rd/4th/5th grade. I’m trying to figure out what my mentality was when it came to “beautiful” when i was little because all i wanted to wear was tight crop tops and short shorts. I didn’t realize it then but its what made me confident. I always wanted the most provocative clothes and what not. In 4th grade i wasn’t a princess or a lady bug for halloween, I was a provocative devil in a tight red dress. I wanted to wear heels but my parents didn’t let me, so i wore black wedges. i remember this one time, my brothers and i went out for a bike ride with our friends and i had a crush on one of them ( mind you, i was probably in like 3rd/4th/5th grade) so i tried to look cute. (nothing wrong w a crush tho) As the little provocative 9 year old i was, I wore this tight hot pink criss cross tied back shirt and a pink mini skirt. (my favorite outfit at the time) and when my friends met up with us, one of the boys pointed at me in disgust and starts laughing. Its funny because in that outfit i felt so confident and that kinda destroyed the 9 year confidence that i had going on. when i was little i didn’t even have boobs yet and i wanted to show them off. i think i was so insecure that all i wanted to do was feel pretty and my image of pretty was tight and as little clothes as possible. as i grew up i leaned towards the chonga look with fat ol hoops, tight tank tops and booty shorts. at this time i was 130 lbs and i thought i was fat (which at 166 lbs, i look back and wish to be that weight again). I would be so self conscious and i still had the “more skin showing, the better” mentality. i eventually fell into wrong doings blablabla in search of the so called attention i was searching for. years passed by and I’m 18 years old and still insecure as ever. i began to try and love myself and most of the time i do but the 9 year old me tries to bring me down and convince me that I’m not what society considers as beautiful. I’m not fucking fat and I’m not obese. most of the times i have more confidence than girls that have thigh gaps and perky ass tits and i love that about me, but situations like this make me feel shitty, ugly and not good enough and im never fucking good enough when it comes to anything. i ordered a tight green dress because i want to be tinker bell for halloween. my mom asked me “why did you order that dress, its made for girls that don’t have rolls” fuck you. fuck you for making me feel little, fuck you for making me insecure, fuck you for making me feel like I’m not good enough and fuck you for telling me that I’m beautiful then say I’m too “fat” for a dress. this is what causes people to starve themselves, become bulimic and anorexic. fuck society for creating this image of a tiny waist and thigh gaps and fuck society for making skinny girls feel like they’re too skinny. its not fair that i think my moms tummy and stretch marks are beautiful and she shits on me for having thick thighs. i honestly think my parents are fucking blind and clueless when it comes to shit like that. you think its normal for your 9 year old kid to be a sexy devil for halloween and wear a mini skirt and a tight tie back shirt to go bike around the neighborhood? since i was little i was told to “suck in my tummy” and “only take one bite of your bday cake” or “mama you’re gaining weight” when i was the substantial amount of weight a 13 year old was supposed to be. It got to a point where i said “fuck this” and stopped looking out for myself because obviously what i was doing wasn’t good enough. i went from 130 to 166 and I’m somehow not as insecure but i am at the same time. its sad of how I’m afraid of how a boy will look at me when I’m naked because I’m not size 0 or how my stomach will seem when I’m sitting down or how i have to be at a certain angle to look pretty. its also sad of how i want a boy to give me attention but mostly also make me feel pretty and give me confidence. I think its sad how we as women have to feel like this and not be accepted for our flaws that make us beautiful. i like being thick. I’m not gonna drop to size 0. I don’t want to be petite.
FUCK your ideal of perfect because its not realistic and FUCK people for making you feel shitty about it