i cursed dustin almost two years ago with a jar of rusty water that had a patch of clothes with his blood on it that i kept after he cleaned up a bottle he threw behind himself at me
i put anise oil in it so that my will would invade his dreams
i told myself, i’ll keep it in my room- hidden away- until it all evaporates… that’ll be when i know i’m over the pain he caused.
and now, i think to myself, i should get rid of it- not dump it out, but leave it somewhere that i never have to see it again, ever. it can be out of sight and out of mind for the rest of my life, just as what he caused is no longer mine to carry and will no longer hurt me. the girl he knew and hurt is gone, a flicker behind my eyes, nothing more. i am much more, i am beyond the influence he had upon me. that is a good feeling