I woke up earlyish this morning, and for awhile laid in bed reading a book, waiting for Ozz to wake up. After awhile, I got bored waiting, so I decided to get up, get dressed, and go get coffee. At Dutch, which is a bit of a drive away but I love that, so I did. I drove up, got coffee, stopped by Panera for bagels, then came home. Traffic was light, so Stella and I got to play and have fun, sunroof open, music blasting.
Ozz is still asleep, so I’m having my breakfast upstairs while it’s still cool enough to do so. I’ve closed the sunward blinds to keep some of the heat out, but most of my windows face west out over the city, so I have the sliding glass door open and even lowered the top half of the blinds (we have those neat accordion blinds that can be raised or lowered) on the living room windows before sitting down to eat.
So now I’m curled up on my big, comfy (hand-me-down but who’s counting) couch, windows open just enough to show me sky and treetops and the coastal hills across the bay in the distance, light spilling in from the skylights and all the open windows on the west side, a cool fresh breeze blowing in from the open door, having a bagel and my favorite coffee. And I keep looking up from my book while I’m eating and just gazing around and thinking, this is mine. My home. Mine.
And I am incredibly grateful that this is where my life is, now.
There’s still so much needing done here. There’s boxes everywhere, a cardboard pile (shipping boxes from our desks), the TV is sitting on the floor because we don’t have a TV stand, I’m using a moving box as a coffee table to eat off of, the fireplace surround tile is still that bland cream with the ugly patterned accents and the mantel is still off-white (I’m going to paint the mantel gloss black and retile the surround in either black or possibly blue), we haven’t gotten rid of the weird display in the fireplace (several really ugly candles in various glass holders - I don’t know what we’re going to do with that space but those aren’t staying there) or hung up the living room curtains.
But at the moment, none of that matters. I’ve got all the time in the world to change those things, because this place is mine now. What matters is that this is my home and I’m happy here.
Facebook user, Shannon Satonori Lytle, shared his success story on his page yesterday. It’s very inspiring tale on how determination can get you where you need to be to become who you want to be. This is his story in his own words:
“In high school, I flipped burgers at McDonald’s so I could afford the privilege of taking the SAT. I fed and cared for my three baby siblings until they went to sleep and stayed up until 4am to do my homework. I walked home through a dangerous part of the city after extracurriculars because I couldn’t afford a car. I stuck my laptop out of my window at night to steal my neighbour’s wifi and finish my schoolwork.
I was scoffed at and told, “from this part of Ohio, only the children of doctors and lawyers get to go to Ivy League Schools.” In college, I panicked when my laptop broke because I had worked 150 minimum wage hours to buy it. I scrubbed toilets, shelved books, and sold clothing so I could chase my dreams and travel the world. Throughout my life, I have manoeuvred and begged for every kind of subsidy and coupon. I’m the son of a warehouse worker and an immigrant; a first generation student.
Alright friends I need some serious help, several nights in a row right before I get into bed I have seen this man standing out my window staring up at me. When I go downstairs to get a closer look, he vanishes. Over the past few nights he has gotten closer and closer to the house each time and I don’t feel safe. If anyone knows who this could be please contact me, in the meantime I am going down to the police station to see if they can do anything about it. I am frightened and in danger, please pray for me.
my brain: always out there, cArryINg thE bAnNer-the sun’ll come out tomorrow, one day more. another day, another- look out my window, theres a view of other windows- WAVING through a windowwwww IM FLYING HIIIIGH defyyyyyying gravvity-GoTtA GeT GoTtA GeT gEt YoUr HEaD iN tHe GaMe TWO PLAYER GAAAAAAAMMEE theres nothing like summer in the city- IM SINging in the raaaaaiinn ORLANDO orlando I LOVE YOU orlando, SEASons of loooooovvveee-GoTtA FinD mY coooooorneeer of ThE SKyyyyyy-VeRoNicA, open the OPEN THE DOOR PLEASE- anatole is HOT he spe-
Late last night, at like 11pm, Dogface was keeping me awake doing that quiet
“boof” thing that dogs do when they’re upset.
Everyone who has a dog knows that sound, right?
I have to get up for work early in the
morning and it was just loud enough to be annoying.
Anyway, I sit up and see that he’s sitting on
the bed by my feet, looking at the window, going “boof…” every ~30 seconds. I get up and stick my head out the window, and can faintly hear one of
my neighbors up the street screaming for help, just wailing over and over.
outside, find which unit the sound is coming from, and get the police in
there. Soon, an ambulance came through and hauled someone away. No idea
what happened, but nobody else in the neighborhood seemed to be taking
TL;DR: Dogface is a very good boy and might have saved someone’s life last night.
hello everyb. it me, doctor elly, cat doctor ph.d (Ph.luffy Doctor).
so many people sufferin so much lately. in world, and also on small human scale. human roommnt Rave Sahnsyed and me hear from especial many of yu in this week. some of u lost somebyyd or somthin important, or anticipting loss. som of u feel so lonely n isolated. some of u have get in truble for mistake & torn between fel guilty bad (for mistake) & resent (for unfair reaction). other ppl feel guilt for have problem in face of global scary tension. some of u just very scared for no reason, or all reason.
im dont mean 2 minimize all individ problem by combinin response this way. but i am nonly one small cat & carnt even read. so, its hard 2 answer all of this. especial hard for me 2 answer questions no one can answer, like, what happen if we cannot stop unraveling of global systm? jeez, i donnt no. im domb as hell.i mean yestrday i got trap again between glass tabletop n table.
so look, i say this only. i make recomend:take some time 2 NOT BE ON INTERNET. i know this sim like denial – STOP ABSORBING INFORMATION! – but internet IN PARTICULAR is machine for collapsing of experience. is no way 2 make emotional distinction betwen things Happenin to U and things Happenin to World that matter and things Happnin to U And World that dont matter, on itnernet. its all comes at u all time and it only make so tired.
so this is why im ask u to unplug for couple hours or days if u can. ok? try maybe only tomor saturday. read book from paper, newspaper from paper. go outdise if u can, see how flowers comin in on trees. perhaps go to tax march tomor if u feel like u must engage with World. listen to new kendrick album!! (doctor lely luv kendric.) enjoy sensual, concrete pleasure and pains. try 2 spend time living consciously in those sensations, good n bad.
adapt this recomnednatin to yur personal situat and limits. i cant atully go outside bc will die of panic attack if bird or squril gets 2 close. so im just stick my butt out window in the sun. this give me perspectiv and warm.
will this solv world problem? of course not. but mayb will give u strength & distance from feeling of crushing overwhelm, deep breath from which yu can re-enter heartbreaking lovely pointless important garbage endeavor of being alive. im tellin yu, those flower are gud.