out of potato chips

Don’t mess with my chips!

Pairing: Jared x reader

Summary: You’re pregnant and out of potato chips.

Words: 576

Warnings: don’t mess with a pregnant woman’s food

A/N: So @thing-you-do-with-that-thing asked to send @ellen-reincarnated1967 some love and Sam/Jard fluff because she’s sick. So here you go! A little drabble in hopes to make you feel a little better! Get well soon!

Originally posted by itsokaysammy

Your blood started to boil at the sight in front of you. There was nothing behind the little wooden door you had just opened, an empty shelf staring back at you. And that was exactly the reason you were pissed off right now.

“Jared?” you called out for your husband, anger resounding in your words. The tall man walked in carelessly and asked what was wrong in the most innocent voice, which aggravated you even more. “Where’s the bag of potato chips I bought yesterday?” You turned your head towards him, staring daggers into his body.

“Jensen and I ate it when he came over yesterday,” he shrugged like nothing was wrong.

“Jen-Jensen ate my potato chips?” you asked, your voice low and laced with venom.

“Yeah, he did,” Jared spoke slowly. He narrowed his eyes at you and tilted his head slightly. “Babe, are you okay? You’re acting a little weird.” Your husband stepped closer to you, but you pushed his arms away when he wanted to embrace you.

“You know I crave potato chips and ice cream and now we’re all out!” you whined with a sad frown etched in your features. “Do you know what it’s like having a humongous baby growing inside of you? Because it’s not easy! Why do you Padalecki’s have to be so freakishly tall? Seriously, I could strangle you right now!” Your fingers curled up in front of you, emphasising your words by mimicking what you were picturing in your head.

“You aren’t tall enough,” the man in front of you joked, chuckling at his own comment. You smacked his arm harshly before hissing out your next words.

“You’ve sunk low enough for me to reach.” That comment only made your husband erupt into a fit of laughter. Your mouth dropped as you stared at him in disbelief. “You think this is funny, do you?” Jared ignored your pushes and protests as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tight against his chest as close as your baby bump would allow.

“Babe,” he said firmly, making the waterfall of words stop from coming out of your mouth. “I already bought a new bag of chips and a whole gallon of ice cream. So what do you say we cuddle up on the couch and I massage your shoulders while we binge watch some series. Does that sound okay?” You nodded your head with a small pout which Jared kissed away quickly.

“Thank you for putting up with me,” you mumbled against his lips. “I know I can be a bit of bitch with all of these hormones.”

“Don’t feel sorry, babe. In a month you’re going to give me the greatest gift I could ever ask for, so I’ll take your grumpiness in return any day,” he chuckled. “Now make yourself comfortable on the couch while I’ll grab the chips and ice cream.” He pecked your lips one last time before disappearing into the kitchen.

“Can it be America’s Next Top Model?” you shouted towards Jared, but you didn’t await his answer as you had already pressed play on the recording. You knew your husband, he’d be okay with anything you wanted to watch.

Not long after that you were both cuddled up on the couch, watching the contestants pose for pictures while you stuffed your face with your favorite pregnancy food craving and Jared rubbed circles over your swollen belly, your baby kicking against his hands.

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Ganondorf: Come on, can I have some of your potato chips?

Vladimir: Not a chance! Besides, you don’t need anymore food!

Ganondorf: But Aliya took all my ruppes, and we fatties gotta stick together!

Vladimir: No we do not! And don’t you dare lump me into the same category as you!

Ganondorf: Is that any way to treat a fellow fatty after I gave you a matching sweatsuit? Which you just so happen to be wearing?

Vladimir: I’m only wearing it because my clothes are at the cleaners!

Ganondorf: Admit it! You’re a proud fatty, just like me! Now out with the potato chips!

Vladimir: *summons a ball of light magic in his opposite hand* Touch my snacks and you will have more then just the hero to worry about…

((Another Fat Friday Chubbydorf pic, this time featuring Vladimir! I spoil you all…

Also, consider this yet ANOTHER preview of the Adventures in Hyrule AU as this takes place after Ganon and Aliya have met Link, Zelda, and Vlad. Chronologically, we have not gotten there yet.))


Hottokenai ze☆Classmate - 2B (Kitagawa Shouta (CV. KENN), Hodaka Natsuki (CV. Takeuchi Eiji), voice performance: Myoujin Kengo (CV. Sugita Tomokazu))  

I seriously laugh at the lyrics:

let’s go let’s go let’s go
we don’t understand about PC
friendship is a mystery
(oi! stop it!)
one two three
come on everyone
from the same class 2-B, we’re all friends, right?
do you eat vegetables?
let’s eat together
why? because we can’t leave you alone
you are you are you are our classmate
(both of you, what the heck are you singing? what? you took potatoes from the field and made potato chips out of it for me, how much spare time do you have seriously?)

LOL Kengon

I need a "The Office" Avengers sitcom

Just imagine it.

“You know, Clint has this habit. Whenever I see him eating food, if I ask him for it, he’ll either shove it all in his face, or hide it. Then he’ll proceed to act like he has no clue what I’m talking about,” Natasha says in a displeased voice.

Then it’ll flip to a shot of Clint siting on the couch, shoving his face with a bag of Munchos, and then Nat walks up.

“Hey, Clint, can I have one?”

Clint proceeds to pour the remaining quarter of a bag into his mouth, crumples the bag up, and shoves it under a couch cushion. With potato chips bits flying out of his mouth, he turns over to Nat and- with a mouthful -he says, “Have one of what?”

Then, with murderous rage filling her eyes, Natasha looks straight into the camera.

Or, as an alternative scenario, it’s just Tony, giving a tour of the facility. He turns a corner and points to a door labeled, “Janitor’s Closet.”

“And this, is probably the best part of the building. The janitor’s closet. You see, the janitor here at the facility, is drawing close to his 200th birthday. His name is Stan. He’s a nice enough man, but he just won’t quit. We try getting him to retire, but he keeps coming back. We’ve just embraced it. Each one of us has bets on when he’ll drop dead. I say-”

Tony stops because of a pounding on the closet door.

“Oh, well, it seems that he’s in there right now. Let’s say-”

Tony stops cold when he opens the door.

On the other side of the door, profusely making out, are the Avenger facility’s local super soldiers.

Steve, whose hands were tangled in Bucky’s long, luscious, locks, immediately stops assaulting Bucky’s lips once the door is open.

Bucky, on the other hand, whose legs were wrapped tightly around Steve’s waist, does not stop. As Steve mutters excuses on how, “It’s not what it looks like,” or, “We thought this was my bedroom,” Bucky assaults Steve’s neck. The embarrassing situation hardly getting to his head.

A 3DMG was exchanged for automail how-to / Happy birthday Commander Eyebrows!

Well, I know you can turn regular soft eating tortillas into chips and tostadas, but the thinner drier ones are supposed to turn out better. I’m a little extra hesitant with the easily torn-up mouth thing, but may try it anyway.

Actually, another one where I was interested to figure out exactly why the thick kettle style potato chips bother me so much. Besides often turning out kind of greasy with the lower cooking temperature needed? They’re enough thicker and harder to make them difficult to eat, between my wonky jaw not handling crunchy foods well, and the sharp edges cutting up my mouth.

Mr. C loves the things, and keeps buying them. He’s bendy as hell too, but obviously has some different issues with it. He’s welcome to all the Kettle Chips! At any rate, I have had similar problems eating thick tortilla chips–and would kind of expect that to happen making chips out of the tortillas we have.

this is my rant and i don’t know why but i just really want someone to read this so if you are reading this and you have a spare 5 minutes please read this because i have no one else who will listen.

my mother’s  boyfriend is diabetic - not borderline, not almost, not just. he is diabetic. he goes out and buys potato chips, goes ham at candy tables at parties, DRINKS ALCOHOL, buys more potato chips, every time he’s near one, he buys mcdonalds. he doesn’t actively exercise (oh but he did do soccer when he was like 16 which apparently makes up for it lol) and his fruit intake? i have not seen that man sit down and eat a piece of fresh fruit in god knows how long. water? he has more beer in his system than water. but my diet is horrible, it’s not going to change anything, i’m not gonna lose weight. my diet, which i spent DAYS researching to make sure it was healthy and to make sure that it would work and be safe. my diet that consists of protein, salad, fresh fruit, low carb snacks and me reading the nutrition facts on every fucking thing i pick up in a grocery store isn’t going to work. the same diet i pair with cardio and drinking as much water as possible 

i buy chicken and fish that has already been seasoned etc. because it’s convenient and affordable. chicken and fish that i spent a good 10 minutes comparing with other chicken and fish to make sure i got the best that i could whilst also making sure i liked it. chicken and fish that is NOT processed, that’s actual filleted fish, chicken breast that has been seasoned or battered. it has not been churned and molded with anything else, it is chicken and fish. do you want to know what my mother’s boyfriend had the nerve of saying about me? first of all he went through my food. second of all, he actually said to my mother: “that chicken and fish she has isn’t going to make her lose weight it’s all processed.” 

the same fish, mind you, HE BUYS FOR HIMSELF.  let this sink in and tell me whether i am being over dramatic when i say i want to honestly want him to choke

The“Potato Chip Vegan”

     Recently people have begun reaching out to me telling me they either hate vegetables, or it doesn’t fit in their schedule to try to start being plant-based, or something of that sort. But alas, this is where the “Potato Chip Vegan” comes in. This label of vegan is common in the vegan community to describe people all about supporting animal liberation, but can’t resist the indulgences many of us have become so accustomed to. It was mostly created due to the common misconception that all vegans are plant-based and healthy. Now of course, I don’t necessarily recommend this to anyone, but if you’re choosing between being a non-plant-based carnist or a non-plant-based vegan, the second option will at least be ethically and environmentally more fulfilling:) so here’s a list of some animal-cruelty free treats that your taste buds and your heart can enjoy!

  • most cereals in the supermarket, but there are a rare few such as those wheatie ones that have cow gelatin because they’re fucking psycho 
  • potato chips, of course (besides some BBQ flavored ones such as BBQ flavored baked Lays that use chicken fat)
  • sweet chili Dorito’s
  • vegan ice cream (with options such as vegan Dibs, vegan ice cream sandwiches and chocolate covered ice cream on a stick :O )
  • vegan cheese (daiya! beware of some brands that use casein, a milk protein XP)
  • some canned soups, especially in the natural isle
  • Taco Bell, Chipotle, and most pizza places can all be made vegan. for pizza, make sure to double check on the use of milk protein, cheese in the red sauce, and butter/cheese on the crust!
  • off-brand pre-made chocolate chip cookies in the grocery store, and quite a few other types of cookies too!
  • vegan butter such as Earth Balance
  • chocolate or vanilla almond/soy/alternative milk
  • Little Debbie’s Bacon Bits (yes, you read right!)
  • Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup
  • A few popcorn brands (even butter lover’s!)
  • most cracker/pretzel/tortilla chip brands and flavors (don’t know of one that isn’t)
  • most french fries, unless you go to some unbelievably shitty restaurant that uses lard
  • most flaky pastry doughs such as Pillsburry Crescent Rolls and fillo doughs
  • most frostings

P.S: if you want a quick glance to see if a product is vegan, check the allergens listed after the ingredients! note that you might still have to look for words like “gelatin,” though!

The signs home alone and they hear a noise

Aries: *twirls nunchucks* bring it on
Taurus: *mouth drops open* *potato chip falls out*
Gemini: *muttering to self* don’t be the dumb white girl … Just stay right here …
Cancer: that was probably a murderer and I’m probably going to die
Leo: *screams* *realizes it was the toaster*
Virgo: I wish someone would try and come kill me … Beat they ass … Smh …
Scorpio: *is the noise in the house*
Sagittarius: fuck this shit I’m out *leaves house in 0.000000001 seconds*
Capricorn: psh I’m not afraid to die *tear runs down cheek with a straight face*
Aquarius: *goes to check it out* Scorpio what the fuck are you doing in my basement
Pisces: should I check it out? Hmm… Better stay here …. I’m sure it was nothing … *loud bang* BYEEE

Randomly throwing potato chips into the multiverse

@ask-pnk-pybro @ask-ppl-spy @ask-pnk-mediman @ask-ong-soldier @ask-pnk-engie @ask-ppl-hoovy @ask-pnk-soldier @ask-plnt-medic @ask-plnt-scout @ask-plnt-spy @ask-plnt-pyro @ask-plnt-engie @ask-plnt-sniper @ask-plnt-soldier @ask-plnt-demo @ask-space-pyro @ask-ghost-spy @ask-ghost-soldier @ask-ghost-medic @ask-undead-sniper