I’m too afraid to come out to any of my friends or family, so I’ll come out to you guys.
I’m demisexual and genderfluid, but I think like girls and nb people a little more than boys.
I hope you guys still think the same of me than before.
[So I’ve been seeing discourse on my dash where a bunch of people are attacking someone for saying that GLaDOS is something other than a Lesbian. Look. I do ship ChellDOS, but GLaDOS is a ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE and it has never been stated that she is canonically a lesbian (at least to my knowledge). Please. I do not mind that you guys see GLaDOS as gay, that’s FINE, but please don’t attack other people for saying otherwise. I don’t want this whole fandom to go to shit because someone has a HC that GLaDOS is something else on the LGBTQA+ spectrum.]
every month or so i have an epiphany about some part of my life that i’ve been struggling with and everything just comes into focus. since i’ve just passed through one, i’d like to share my realizations with you.
i’m gay and it was hard for me to admit to myself (for some reasons that i’ll get to), but it’s not hard for me to say to you all now.
as you may or may not know, i live in the blatantly homophobic, racist, transphobic, and misogynist state of north carolina. i was raised with straight love songs, painfully heteronormativity movies, and the promise that “one day, you’re gonna grow up and have a nice husband.” when i came out to my family, i wasn’t accepted. i’m living in a country on the verge of falling under the control of what will undoubtedly be an extremely oppressive governmental administration. i’m surrounded by a community of conservative people. and due to all of that, heteronormativity hangs so thick in the air here that some of it managed to sneak into me.
i first came out as pansexual almost exactly a year ago. i’d realized by then that i was super duper into girls, so i’d slid right out of identifying as straight and right into identifying with a multi-sexual identity with little to no true, deep questioning involved. i knew i liked girls, and i liked boys– i’d always liked boys, right??– so no single-gender attraction identity felt right for me. looking back now, i don’t think i ever sat back and really thought it through. i don’t think i ever sat back and really went “how do i know i like boys?” because if i had, i think i would’ve realized that my answer is “i don’t” a lot sooner. i don’t know what specifically it was that made me play into the same hetero-normality that i despise so deeply, but i certainly know it wasn’t conscious or voluntary. honestly, i just think the whole “you’re a girl, so you like boys” idea had been shoved so deeply down my throat at such a young age that i didn’t know that it wasn’t supposed to be there. it felt normal to assume that i liked boys; i didn’t even think about it.
well, now i’ve thought about it, and now i know: the assumptions they made about my sexuality, the ones they forced me to believe myself, were wrong. society was wrong about me just as they’re wrong about thousands of other people. because, surprise society, i’m a girl and i like girls, and that’s perfectly okay. in fact, it’s more than okay; it’s wonderful. it’s wonderful because i love it– i love liking girls. it’s wonderful because it feels so natural and right to call myself a lesbian, a thousand times more natural than calling myself straight or pan ever felt. it’s wonderful because it’s who i am, it’s a part of me, and that makes it beautiful, real, natural, and valid. i want to take a moment to erase everything i’ve ever said that directly or indirectly suggested that i wish i was different than i am, because that’s just not true. this is the way i am, and fuck it, i’m happy this way!! gay and proud, my friends. gay and proud.
i hope you all have a wonderful 2017 day. if you are currently questioning any part of your identity, i wish you best of luck in your journey to discover yourself; just keep your chin up and remember that all things take time, and even if your identity seems confusing right now, you’ll get it all sorted out eventually. should any of you ever, for any reason, need someone to talk to, please feel free to message me. i’m always here for you, no matter what :).
thanks for hearing me out, friends!! love you allllll.
okay listen up children, there’s something i need to talk about bc boy, some things ive seen in the skam tag are just yikes
so gay fetishization? it’s a thing, right. but how do you recognize a person who fetishizes gay relationships? here’s how:
a grown ass straight woman who writes smut about minors = an ugly fetishist
a straight girl who is “obsessed with gay ships!!!!/loves gays!!!” = most likely a fetishist
“omg watch skam it has TWO CUTE BOYS kissing kaklaopxlxo also larry!!” = probably a fetishist
someone who worries about even’s well being (and not just because they want him to make out with isak lmao) = not likely a fetishist
like ive been involved in fandoms for years and ive seen uglies ship so many ugly ships just because they were two guys and it was gay fetishization at its finest but let’s be fucking honest, shipping isak and even (even who is isak’s love interest this season) doesn’t automatically make you a fetishist. like obviously there always will be people who will fetishize gay relationships and if you meet one, remember: don’t hate - educate, and if that doesn’t work just block them and be done with it.
and just a reminder, during season 2, people loved william and they loved william and noora together, and just as well - you are allowed to love even and you are allowed to want him to end up with isak. just remember there is more to people than their sexuality thats all goodbye
you can say you’re a lesbian if you only just figured it out
you can say you’re a lesbian if you haven’t dated any girls
if i was able to so surely say that i was straight (when i wasn’t) even before i dated a guy, kissed a guy, had a legitimate crush on a guy, then you’re allowed to say you’re a lesbian even if you haven’t “tried it” yet
you are real and valid and your identity is important, no matter what your dating history is