out for the cash

TalesFromTheFrontDesk: Mr. Pimp and the final stay

I’m finally ready to share the story of Mr. Pimp.

A few weeks ago, I met Mr. Pimp for the first time. He is not a spring chicken by any means, and his “girlfriend” was easily 1/3 his age. These two come strolling in shortly after one in the afternoon and asks for a room. Now, as a new FDA, I decided to play innocent and offered a standard two queen room because who was I to say they were shaking up or if she was just his home health aid? They refused the two queens and asked for a jacuzzi suite. At that moment, I got my trainer involved.

So we set up the reservation and this guy pulls out stacks of crispy, fresh from the bank $100 bills. Pays cash. Get a card for incidentals. All is well from a financial standpoint. Initial here, sign there, and here’s your keys. They go out and come back in with 3 bags each for one night.

Me, being naïve, thought for a few seconds, why would two people need 6 bags for one night? The other most peculiar thing they had was a holiday wreath. I blinked a few times. Turned around, and found the head housekeeper. I whispered to her in her office how she may want to put two people on their room the next day for check out because it seemed kind of odd. She made the note.

The rest of the night, we don’t hear a peep. Not a single complaint either. So we go on with our duties, assign rooms, running night Audit, etc. You know how these things go.

The next morning, the housekeeper- bless her soul, went in to clean. It was a disaster zone. It was as if someone took a hand grenade, stuffed it with glitter and confetti, then let it go off. Confetti coated the carpet, easily an inch think. Then she found popped balloons covered in poop. Ping pong balls with poop. Paint brushes, blood stains, “scootch marks” as the housekeeper put it, as well. It was like a child’s birthday party gone totally wrong. But the wreath was no where to be found! They took it with them.

So, after discussions with the FDAs, the managers, and Housekeeping, it was decided that this gentleman was on the No Fly List for this property. DNR. Not even if hell froze over.

Then today happened. The most experienced FDA, who has been here for like, 12 years, rented him a room. After we all decided he was a firm fuck no.

So I texted my manager. She says if I hear a single peep or complaint, I am to call the cops and evict him. If I don’t hear a peep, she’ll call the cops on the prostitute in the morning and explain to him that he is no longer welcome, ever, to this property for his involvement in prostitution.

Eviction number one of two this evening. 👊🏻👊🏻

By: EricaM13

anonymous asked:

True that. and I like your points too. I also agree that SP shoves NH and Hinata in everyone's faces while downplaying other pairs like SS. Who i really feel bad for is Choji. Not even SP wanted to explore Choji x Kurai. Tenten too. So just curious- if not SP then what studio would you have liked to see handling the series? and ugh i fee llike Sp changes hinatas hair color/features too much and give her screentime too much attention like with the wedding

right? they don’t just stop at the drastic alterations in plot matter, personality or appearance… they literally change every subtle detail that they can possibly touch or even vaguely improve upon too, like her hair colour or facial features.

honestly, i’m not sure which studio i’d prefer to handle naruto. i feel like the secure and “dependable” (i.e. financially stable) studios with the best audience reach, financial backing and merchandising capabilities all produce fillers to drag out the content and cash in on the series anyway… so escaping those episodes in any major/successful series is near damn impossible. but fillers aren’t necessarily an issue, if handled well. i mean, just look at atla and lok!
which actually makes me think:

s/p also (part) animate korra, and are infamous in that series too; scrutinised for doing their shitty job, especially in comparison to the korean studio, studio mir.

so studio mir definitely looks like an obvious choice in answer to your question, anon! but lok’s an american product, whereas naruto is japanese; so would most likely stay with a japanese studio, rather than send the task overseas like a lot of u.s. shows. but in terms of quality, s/m would be a great – but probably unlikely – shout! they also don’t seem to have any impartiality in depicting characters or taking creative control away from the actual creators either; they directly animate what they’re told to and, you know, do their fucking job.
↳ if only all fillers could be manga adapted omakes (written by the author) that are just entertaining, light-hearted and extremely enjoyable, like part one’s unmasking of kakashi! but, then again, that makes them still written by the mangaka and would therefore be considered technically canon. 😅

…yeah, choji and karui? damn, i know. like, they were a literal ass-pull that desperately needed an explanation and s/p didn’t even attempt to touch upon it or feature them! (yet they unnecessarily ingrain hinata into every canon or omake plot-line? priorities, s/p.) which, btw, also leads chokarui lacking in the time-line too… like, since all the couples have kids within the same time-frame, which isn’t a substantial amount of time after the wedding for them to meet, bond, develop a significant enough relationship for her to move, settle down and have a kid.
↳ neither karui nor tenten are hinata though, therefore they don’t matter enough to receive decent enough screen-time. (although, tenten did feature somewhat in the final arc.) it’s s/p after all, we know where their priorities lie.

me entering Logan 2017: happy, skin clear, I have a sense of purpose
me leaving the theatre: I have a beard, incredibly depressed, 10 pairs of flannel, theatre employee handed me a johnny cash album on the way out, I’m the proud parent of a hoard of children,

relatable things in lotr/the hobbit

  • bilbo hiding and whispering he’s not home when someone knocks on his door
  • bilbo hoarding his food 
  • bilbo dipping out on his own birthday party 
  • bilbo basically telling gandalf “don’t cash me outside, howbow dah”
  • bilbo wanting to leave his house but not leave his house at the same exact time 
  • bilbo thinking that the quest was gonna be like glamping 
  • i realize these are all bilbo
  • bilbo baggins is the most relatable character 

Bruce cannot ever sit down just for himself. After a long day, he sits down in the coveted Laz-E Boy chair. Immediately Cass is curled up on one arm, feet tucked into the cushion crease. They talk quietly, pleasantly. Bruce is so involved in the puzzle game that Cass is showing him on her phone that he almost doesn’t notice that Damian has alighted on the other chair arm (or wouldn’t have, if Damian had not knocked into Bruce’s elbow with his knobby adolescent knees and push his arm off the appropriated seat). Damian is there peering over Bruce’s shoulder at the puzzle, arguing every possible move. Soon Dick has joined their little group and boots Damian off his arm seat.
Damian grumbles but eventually ends up sliding into Bruce’s lap. Bruce lowers the phone and extends his arm so everyone can see the screen. Sometimes Jason is there, and he’ll set his elbows on the back of the chair and lean his chin on the back cushion, right next to Bruce’s head, just like when he was a kid.
(“You need glasses, old man.”
“I do not.”)
Tim sits on the floor, Titus on his outstretched legs. He’ll join in at certain times, teasing mostly at Bruce’s expense, even though he can’t see the screen. If he’s exhausted, he’ll barely rest his head on Bruce’s knee. Then complain about Damian’s kicking.
This will go on until eyelids become heavy, and muscles lax with sleepiness. Dick’s feet end up in Damian’s lap, poking at his tummy purposely. Jason has his face against the back cushion, tucked into his crossed arms. Cassandra leans her head against one of his shoulders, blinking twice as often to stay awake. Damian’s head lolls against Bruce’s chest, and Bruce reaches down and tucks Damian’s legs on his lap (just in case he kicks Tim in his sleep). Tim had stolen the throw pillow that had been behind Bruce’s back, a ransom exchange for Damian’s feet. He curls against the front of the couch, Titus clogging his space.
It’s become a sort of ritual, now. Bruce being surrounded by his children. Even if he’s alone, he expects the ghost of a touch or laughter against his ear. And every time Cassandra plants her arms on his head, leaning over to look or watch a sibling argument, and Dick pinches Jason or Damian’s ticklish sides, he can’t help but think how proud his parents would be to meet his family.

Music
  • Friend: Could you maybe send me some of your favourite songs?
  • Me: GURL I HAVE 69173819 SONGS FROM 5818 ARTISTS IN 398 GENRES AND 5 DIFFERENT CENTURIES ON MY PHONE PLEASE BE A LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC!
Go see Power Rangers!

Seriously, this movie is so entertaining. It’s a good old-fashioned hero origin story that focuses on the team building and personal growth of the characters! It keeps all of the good, nostalgic parts about Power Rangers but put so much heart into it. It very clearly is done in homage to and out of love for the original series and did not feel like a cash grab at all. They also didn’t go totally Michael Bay with it–it’s not a dark movie, just relevant and heartfelt. 

Also (kind of spoilers but it’s about characters and it’s a big reason you should see it) …

The Blue Ranger is black AND on the autism spectrum. And none of the others ever make a big deal about it! And it actually proves to be a strength, and he’s never made out to be less a part of the team because of how his mind works. 

The Yellow Ranger is queer! There’s a conversation around the fire where it becomes really clear, but her sexuality is also never made an issue of. She doesn’t have a romance (but neither do the het characters), but she’s allowed to be a hero and awesome as heck. Her development isn’t about her being lesbian (or another unspecified non-het sexuality), but she is, and the movie doesn’t avoid it!

ONLY ONE TEAM MEMBER IS WHITE. And yeah, it’s the Red Ranger, but he’s the only one. And there’s minor, minor flirting between him and the Pink Ranger but it never becomes A Thing. The entire team besides him is diverse across multiple intersections (whether socioeconomic status, race, sexuality, or ability). Also, the actors are in their very early twenties, not late twenties or thirties, so they passed as teenagers much more easily and their arcs felt so real. 

Basically, the way this film tackled diversity was the way we were taught to do it at the MadCap Retreat. Let diverse characters simply exist and no make every story be about their ~struggle~. But at the same time, don’t ignore the unique challenges that their intersections might bring to their everyday lives. 

There are places the film could improve. There was a bit too much ableist language (mostly “crazy” and “insane”–though thankfully none of this was ever directed at the Blue Ranger). But overall it was a nice, nostalgic, diverse update on a franchise I really enjoyed growing up. 

Pre-Kerberos! Matt HC

[Pre-Kerberos! Matt]

★ Matt is the whitest of the whites, he eats one hot chip and it’s game over.

★ He’s allergic to pickles

★ He got Katie into aliens and cryptids

  • He doesn’t regret it                                                                             

★ Him and Shiro were friends, even before the Garrison.

★ He’s a little shit, the Garrison teachers expected him to be the perfect student since he was Sam and Colleen’s son.

  • They were wrong, he started a black market and wasn’t found out until it was too late. He made more than $500 bucks cash.

★ Whenever he was called into the office to talk about his future he just answered with “Kick ass, go to space, represent the human race.”

The cost of losing a bet with him was high

  • Once a kid had to go up to Iverson and ask if he was a furry and if his boyfriend was bigfoot.
  • They were required to help Iverson for the rest of the year during their free hour.

★ Anytime anyone asked if him and Shiro were dating, he did finger guns and awkwardly backed away.

★ Has been the cause of the science lab blowing up at least 5 times.

  • Shiro was apart of three of them.

★ Puns were his shit no one could escape

  • Shiro does this make us…..Kerbros?”
  • “If it weren’t for the laws of this land, I would’ve slaughtered you, Matt.”

★ Would fight you if you said Pluto wasn’t a planet

★ Is the most oblivious of people, two kids had a crush on him at the same time and he never noticed

  • But he can somehow notice when people have crushes on each other??

★ He met Neil Degrasse Tyson once and cried

★ Katie and him show their love by roasting each other on the daily

★ “I know you love those peas, Dad.” was only the tip of the Yikesburg™ .

★ He dyed Shiro’s hair once

  • It went as well as expected
  • It was neon blue

★ He smuggled Pidge into the Garrison once with the help of Shiro

  • Keith found them dragging her through the window
  • He just stared silently and walked away

★ He can do a perfect Yoda impression

  • Katie sadly found out when she on the verge of sleep at 3am

★ Subs always liked him for some reason, no one really knew how or why though.

★ He could name all 206 bones in the human body, and he taught Keith how to break every one of them

★ Katie popped out the lens in his back-up prescription glasses

  • He cried

★ He can quote back to the future word for word

★ “What are you gonna do punch me???”

  • The kid decked him
  • He broke their leg

★ He threatened to sell Katie to the Garrison for a pizza

  • A guy’s gotta do what they gotta do to get some decent food

★ “How’d you do in your flight test, Matt?” “Oh, I nearly killed Shiro. it’s chill though.”

★ He cries whenever he sees dogs since the Garrison is in the middle of nowhere

  • He once cried for more dog deaths in three school days than his entire life

★ “Hey Matt, high-five the stars for me okay?” “Of course, Katie.”

  • She hasn’t found out if he did or not.

★ It was his idea to name their dog Gunther

  • “What the fuck, Matt” “It haS CHARACTER KATIE”

★ Him and his mom are kickass together.

  • Everyone is low-key terrified of them

★ He crashed his bike into a tree once

  • “Lol you guys will never guess what happened”
  • “What”
  • “My bone is no longer in my leg”

★ “Do you think Iverson and—” “I’m gonna stop you right there.”

★ He hacked the speakers in the Garrison to play Bill Nye the Science Guy when someone said he wasn’t a real scientist

★ Believes in the multiverse theory and soulmates

  • Maybe in some other universe him and Shiro are happy

★ He’s pan and poly, fight me   

  • Katie got him a shirt that read “Pans for Bigfoot”    
  • He wore it everywhere

★ He finished the office in a week and stares at a security camera whenever something stupid happens

★ Someone confessed to him once and he panicked and said “Thank you”

★ Matt is actually a super good crossdresser???

  • Shiro and Keith are surprised???
  • Katie had to get it from somewhere y’all

★ Lowkey likes to make fun of Keith for being Texan

  • “Y’all’d’ve done good if y’all had listened to me.”
  •  “I hate living because of you, Matt.”

★ Bill Nye the Science Guy is his dad and you can’t tell him otherwise.

  • He’ll fight you if you say he isn’t a real Scientist

★ MATT REALLY LIKES AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER, LIKE I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN IT BUT I KNOW HE DOES.

★ Him and Katie learned Latin for kicks

★ Speaks fluent meme

★ **Drops one piece of candy on his room floor** “,,,,,,,,” **Kneels down to look for it**

★ 10/10 doesn’t know how to handle any crushes he has

  • He realized he had a crush on Shiro with the “help” of Katie and Keith
  • He tried to eat an entire jar of pickles afterwards

★ “Matt, you have a crush on my brother, admit it” “New glasses, who dis?”

★ “Shiro, when I was your age,,,,,,” “One day, you’re just not going to wake up.”

★ He somehow convinced Shiro to dress up as Watson while he was Sherlock

★ Hamilton’s number 1 fan

★ He spits out facts at random

  • “Y’know Alexander Hamilton spelt Philadelphia wrong in our Constitution?” 
  • Katie, who has been running on 3 hours of sleep: please shut tf up

★ “You’re a little shit Matt” “Atleast I don’t quote Fairy Tail any chance i get”

★ Matt: THIS BITCH EMPTY 
★ Katie, grabbing his backpack full of assignments from the Garrison: Y E E T

★ He hates coffee but will drink 5 cans of soda in an hour

★ “YOOOOO I TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY WANT” “SO TELL ME WANT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT” “I WANNA–”

  • Sam Holt voice: Please,,,,just go to sleep”

★ He’s a Gryffindor

★ Someone bet him that he couldn’t eat 2 of the new Grand Macs

  • He ate 4, Katie ate 5
  • Everyone was impressed and low-key terrified

★ Shiro: bro take off your glasses
★ Matt: bro everything’s a blur
★ Shiro: that’s my life without you
 Matt, tearfully: Bro… 

Iverson: any questions?
Matt: Yeah, first of all, how dare you?

★ “Would you slap Katie for $2,000?” “I’d break both of Katie’s arms and my own leg for a small fry from McDonald's”

★ Shiro gave him one of his sweaters when it was cold out once

  • Shiro hasn’t seen it since

★ He had an emo phase that lasted 2 months before he got tired of the eyeliner

  • Katie likes to bring it up at the worst times

He’s covered in bandaids 90% of the time

  • Most times it’s because he and Katie were fucking around while building smth

★ “The amount of uses for a dead horse is infinite” “Matt, honestly, just go to church”

★ His mind is just a constant loop of that scene in VeggieTales where the realized they didn’t have hands and just sadly looked at each other

★ “KATIE POKEMON PIDGEOTTO HOLT

★ Mashed potatoes can and should fuck him up

★ Learned to play the kazoo for meme opportunity

★ Once burnt off one of his eyebrows from boiling water

★ Him and Katie do the handshake thing from Zack and Cody

★ Whenever someone asks to see a picture of Katie, he just pulls out a picture of Pidgey from Pokémon

  • Matt: Isn’t she pretty?

★ He beat every island in poptropica

★ He can make really nice flower crowns nobody has questioned it

★ He talks with his hands a lot

  • He’s hit Keith in the face more than once because of it

★ You know when it snowed in Egypt for the first time in years and that guy had that giant ass snowball and was gonna fucking dunk it on his friend?

  • That’s Matt

★ He can dance?? Where did he learn it? Nobody knows

★ “Keith I came as soon as i heard! I can’t believe it I knew you two were close”
★“Wtf are you talking about?”
★“Punk is dead, Keith”

★ When the rumour that MCR was coming back you bet your ass Matt was ready to blast every song whenever he saw Keith

★ “I’m Matt, the radar technician”

★ He recreated BB-8 from Star Wars: The Force Awakens and cried

★ “Bitch, I am a gift of God, square up”

  • Get it? Because Matthew means gift of God??

★ He can solve a rubix cube behind his back in under 35 seconds

★ If he laughs hard enough he’ll start snorting

  • 50% of the time he won’t notice because he’s too busy laughing
  • The other 50% he’ll stop and frown in disgust at his own snort

★ He found out Shiro poured his milk in before the cereal and kicked him out their dorm

Matt: Hey, Shiro, want to stay for dinner?
Colleen: Do you want to stay forever?

★ Iverson lowkey reminds him of Snape, so by default he just doesn’t like him

★ “Work, work!” “Matthew!”
    “Work, work!” “Katherine!”
    “,,,,,and Keith”
    “The conspiracy theorists!”

★ Unlike his sister, he likes to garden and starts one in their backyard with their mom

★ Matt would totally force Shiro to cosplay Team Rocket for Halloween with Pidge being Meowth and Keith being an edgier version of Ash Ketchum

  • Shiro as Jessie and Matt as James of course

★ He owns every pokemon game in existence

  • Pokemon Snap was his shit when he was like 7
  • He 360 noscoped the Pokemon with apples

★ Has read all of the Harry Potter books three times

★ He tried to teach Shiro how to dance

  • They never finished though because neither of them could take the sexual tension

★ He was more into the galaxies and multiple universes part of space, while Katie was excited for the tech advances 

  • They were both 100% ready for aliens though

★ Shiro told him he couldn’t create the Marauders Map, so he did out of spite

★ Talked in nothing but Shakespeare for a day to piss off Katie

★ He loved ducktales

  • Too bad he can’t see the reboot

★ Barbie and the 12 dancing princesses was his shit

★ When Katie was born, he brought a potato with him when he went to the hospital to compare the two

★ He always wore sweaters that didn’t quite fit him, so he could have Sweater Paws

★ There was a supposed ‘haunted’ house on his street, so him Katie and the Broganes all snuck out to investigate

  • A window broke while they were in there
  • Keith shapeshifted into Sonic and bolted, Katie started hysterically crying and laughing at the same time as she ran, and Matt jumped into Shiro’s arm and Shiro fuckin’ booked it
  • They all agreed not to talk about it

★ Once in gym, a ball was about to hit someone in the face but instead of yelling “duck!” he yelled “dICK”

  • To this day no one has let him live it down

★ Uses an absurd amount of emoticons when texting

★ 10/10 would meme again

★ Used the word “Yo” too many times to count

★ Tried to bury Katie underneath a bunch of snow when she was 10

★ He can’t swim

★ He’s cried during nearly every Disney and Pixar movie


[Read Part Two// Post-Kerberos! Matt HC here!]

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Hollow Knight, coming February 24th! I’m super looking forward to this, as well as Night In The Woods, which comes out on the 21st.