Pet Store Blues Ep. 6 or something
*walks over to a couple crouching over by the goldfish section which you know will always lead to a thrilling ride*
Customer: Hi, so we have a small tank… err… I’m not sure how large, maybe… *points to a 20L tank on display* We set it up maybe… err… 2 days ago? So it’s been running a long time. So we just want 4 goldfish.
Does anyone know the feeling where you’re smiling and nodding through their speech but inside, you’re wondering how you’re gonna seamlessly transition from being polite and sweet to wrecking their plans (hopefully still politely as possible)?
Me: *inserts goldfish info*
Okay, so here’s where I always feel guilty because my boss is a nice, responsible and knowledgeable guy but he’s also running a small business so it is expected of us to still sell a single goldfish to customers with inadequate set ups after doing our best to educate them and asking they return it as soon as it becomes too large.
Me: So unfortunately guys, buying 4 goldfish today will most likely only end in a lot of water changes for you and a lot of suffering for the four little fish, it’d be best if you bought one small goldfish in a few weeks and I ran you through cycl –
Customer: – -Yeah, okay, whatever. We still just want 4 goldfish.
They actually said that?
Me: *gets that spider sense feeling where you become sure they don’t actually own de-chlorinator* Hang on, have you used a water conditioner yet?
Customer: What is that, is that the …err…. the carbon filter thing? My brother said I didn’t need the carbon filter.
Me: *tries to sell them water conditioner, stability, aquarium salt, decent food and the idea on researching a bit more before buying a live animal*
Customer: Yeah, I don’t know. I think I’ll ask my brother if I actually need the de-chlorinator, he has goldfish. I’m not gonna get scammed into buying useless junk, sorry.
*smiles at me and leaves*