our stores and staff

Pet Store Blues Ep. 6 or something

*walks over to a couple crouching over by the goldfish section which you know will always lead to a thrilling ride*

Customer: Hi, so we have a small tank… err… I’m not sure how large, maybe… *points to a 20L tank on display* We set it up maybe… err… 2 days ago? So it’s been running a long time. So we just want 4 goldfish.

Does anyone know the feeling where you’re smiling and nodding through their speech but inside, you’re wondering how you’re gonna seamlessly transition from being polite and sweet to wrecking their plans (hopefully still politely as possible)? 

Me: *inserts goldfish info* 

Okay, so here’s where I always feel guilty because my boss is a nice, responsible and knowledgeable guy but he’s also running a small business so it is expected of us to still sell a single goldfish to customers with inadequate set ups after doing our best to educate them and asking they return it as soon as it becomes too large. 

Me: So unfortunately guys, buying 4 goldfish today will most likely only end in a lot of water changes for you and a lot of suffering for the four little fish, it’d be best if you bought one small goldfish in a few weeks and I ran you through cycl – 

Customer: – -Yeah, okay, whatever. We still just want 4 goldfish. 

They actually said that? 

Me: *gets that spider sense feeling where you become sure they don’t actually own de-chlorinator* Hang on, have you used a water conditioner yet?

Customer: What is that, is that the …err…. the carbon filter thing? My brother said I didn’t need the carbon filter.

Me: *tries to sell them water conditioner, stability, aquarium salt, decent food and the idea on researching a bit more before buying a live animal*

Customer: Yeah, I don’t know. I think I’ll ask my brother if I actually need the de-chlorinator, he has goldfish. I’m not gonna get scammed into buying useless junk, sorry. 

*smiles at me and leaves*

Trick me into changing my roster?

My manager cleverly tricked me into working every weekend for all of May and June, which we would usually share, as we’re the only two staff qualified to close at our store. (It’s hard to explain how she tricked me unless I explain our entire rostering system but believe me when I say she did it on purpose and gave me the sassiest “Oops, Oh well!” when I called her out about it)

Unfortunately for her, I was approached on Friday by a friend of a friend and offered an awesome job closer to my home in an industry I’ve been trying to get into for ages, so I have a resignation to hand in…

Usually I’d offer to finish up all my already-rostered shifts as an act of good faith, but in this instance I think I’ll hand in my resignation in line with my employment contact, which is 24 hours notice (Gotta love casual employment laws where I live!).

I think I’ll let my manager know just before the first of the 10+ weekend shifts she’ll be taking on.

Petty Revenge: Internet`s best petty revenge stories are here. | source

Stolen Fish

This is an odd signal boost, possibly, but here goes! My local fish store, The Wet Spot in PDX, recently came by a rare spotted Congo puffer and had it for sale. This was a fish we were all excited to see in the community; they actually let me take a small video of it at one point because my daughter was in love with the little guy. Well, on Friday, someone came into the store and stole the rare fish. From the Wet Spot:

Hello Everyone,
This will be an unusual and troubling post for us. Recently, we got in a very unique and fantastic puffer Tetraodon schoutedeni “Spotted Congo Puffer”  and it WAS STOLEN from our store on Friday October 23rd. When it got busy and staff members were helping customers someone took it upon themselves to bag and take this puffer from our store. We have been informed that it appeared a man was tying off a bag on the corner of our road and acting suspicious around the time of the theft. Unfortunately, the location of the tank isn’t the best spot for our cameras and we don’t have any further information. We hope this puffer is alright and if anyone has any tips or hears about anyone locally trying to sell this fish don’t hesitate to call the store at 503-287-3339. We are deeply saddened and upset by this unusual crime and hope that at least the puffer is okay. We want to end on a positive note and thank all of our customers who support us and make this hobby amazing and not just this isolated upsetting incident.

So if anyone sees this fish in the Portland area or the PNW, please give them a call.

*manager voice* everyone, i am sorry to say this but someone stole a $5 naruto sticker book from our walmart store and now the entire staff is going to have their wages withheld this week to make up for the losses incurred, further management says each loss prevention team member must spend 5 minutes in the pear wiggler to atone.