Oh look - Cobrasnake is back. Supposedly - or so Yu Tsai tell us - he is the photographer on all our “favorite” Top Model photoshoots (sorry, Erik!) like the mug shots and slaughterhouse challenge and trailer park chic.
I’ve got to hand it to Cobrasnake, he’s perfected a trashy aesthetic, which makes him the perfect photographer to shoot the models’ Nylon spread. Even though we clearly saw the models at the pool in the daytime, Cobrasnake pretends that the models are going to break into this location illicitly by hopping the fence.
He takes some horrible photos on the way in:
And things don’t get any better once inside:
Again, they want to print these in a magazine?
Cobrasnake encourages Mikey to “be himself” because when he tries to model, he sucks. It’s not the first time we’ve heard this, though I’d argue his natural personality sucks even more. While “being himself” Mikey helps himself to a bite of Mamé’s leg.
Get a rabies shot, Mamé. Speaking of which, Mamé gets upset that Lacey holds a dog during her shoot. I’m going to agree that the dog doesn’t belong… the dog is the classiest thing on set, and that’s saying something for a pooch that just licked its own crotch a few seconds prior.
Cobrasnake chews out Nyle for paying too much attention to his interpreter. He wants to have the whole focus on him. Does he think the interpreter is having a side conversation with Nyle during the shoot? He’s just repeating the directions being shouted at Nyle - if Cobrasnake doesn’t want him paying attention to his interpreter, stop talking so much!
Finally, it’s clear that this show loves the whole “whorish virgin” storyline - Lacey has now stolen the trophy from Raelia. Throughout most of the shoot, the artistic directors shout at Lacey for looking like a skank.
Sorry, is “skanky” not exactly what the brief is asking for? If not, they need to seriously reconsider the set, wardrobe and photographer. Besides, you haven’t seen skanky until you offer Lacey some beads.
Just kidding, don’t give Lacey any beads. You can’t trust her not to swallow them.
6 Funniest Moments of America’s Next Top Model Cycle 22 Ep. 15
Victoria’s Secret Angel Lily Aldridge shares a step-by-step guide to her easy summer hair and makeup at the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles as part of Beauty Secrets, a forthcoming video series that provides an inside look at the morning routines of our favorite models and personalities.
Today we remember one of our favorite photo story: model in Ulyana Sergeenko Couture pieces was captured by @bitkovfedor in one of the most beautiful place in Russia 💛 #ulyanasergeenkocouture #couture #shooting #archives #throwback #ульянасергеенко by ulyana_sergeenko_moscow
If last week was all about sex, this week is all about love. It’s time to track the relationship statuses of our favorite Top Model couples.
Ben and Adam:
Ben gets kicked out of the Tyra Suite this week, meaning he no longer has the opportunity to share a bed with his bromance partner, Adam. Presumably, Ben writes a song about his feelings.
Will and Matthew:
Will chooses Raelia instead of Matthew to join him in the Tyra Suite. It’s a heart-breaking choice, not for either of the guys, but for the thousands of “Wilthew” fans. Why does everyone want them to be a couple so badly anyway? Isn’t the beauty of their kiss that it was meaningless and not worth freaking out about? If there were feelings there, that would make Mirjana and Denzel at least kind of right, and no one wants to see that.
Kari and Keith:
They’ve pushed their beds together, yet they decline to define their relationship because they want their private lives to remain private. Whether the Maniconda comes out to play at night is none of our business! That doesn’t stop Mirjana from gossiping about K&K’s courtship, however. I’m not inclined to take her too seriously, though, since Mirjana is probably pretty desperate at this point to make sure she’s not the only one looking like a ho in the house.
Mirjana and Denzel:
Speaking of Mirjana, she’s pretty smitten with Denzel and Kari worries that she’s fallen too hard too fast. That’s particularly true since Denzel doesn’t even want to call their showmance “dating” yet. In fact, he actually likes the fact that Mirjana has a different boyfriend because it allows him to not take their hook ups seriously.
Oh yeah, about that boyfriend back home… Mirjana hasn’t notified him that she’s snuggling up with a new beard weave yet. She resolves to send the boyfriend a letter to break up with him. Snail mail? At the rate Mirjana switches men, by the time that letter reaches the boyfriend, she’ll already have left Denzel and started hooking up with… I dunno… Yu Tsai? Why not just send him some breakup stickers with the Line App? I’m sure he’ll take the hint.
Meanwhile, the other models are giving Denzel shit for pounding that “Mar-gina.” Shei says that by leading Mirjana on, Denzel “plays… both ways.” Uh, could you find another way to express that thought, Shei? You know Denzel is going to flip out if anyone thinks he’s bisexual. Raelia thinks she might have walked in on Denzel and Mirjana fornicating and confronts him about it. His response is a pretty funny way of avoiding the issue:
OTP! This is now the only couple I care about in the house, and I hope these two stay in it for the long haul. The more Adam has his tongue down a dog’s throat, the more he’s unable to say anything douchy, so it’s probably a smart move for him, too. (The sex only lasts two minutes, Soy, so please take one for the team.)