our dear leader

…this fierce machine which you have built

Poke League's Rainbow Opportunity:Season 5

Hey everyone.
I hope all of you have had wonderful adventures in the Alola region so far. Its a new region with new pokemon opening up exciting new challenges for those who want to become master trainers. Speaking of challenges, We here at The Poke League will be opening our doors once more to you trainers, champions of Alola. This new season of the League officially just begun.

making some changes
As pokemon trainers we strive to find challenges in everything and so this season we are doing things a bit differently for our dear leaders. In past seasons our leaders have been themed and restricted to monotype. For this season we are going by mono color- A Rainbow League of sorts.
Their teams will be comprised of pokemon sharing a main color (including shinies).
Why don’t you check out our leaders!

Come one and all

Always seeking those in search of a challenge, and those just looking to have some fun, we invite you all. We have seen many different challengers pass through our doors, both veterans and new to competitive pokemon, and hope that continues as we strive to be a part of a large community of friends and rivals. So why not give us a try and sign up here 

Obsidian Leader Patrick.

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Things I want to say to GOT7

A.N. saw someone do this for BTS so why not do this for GOT7 also I’m procrastinating on studying so I’ll be posting some things.

JB: Our dear leader Jaebum, I hope your getting the rest that you deserve and that you’re getting better every single day. Everyone misses you but don’t worry when you’re back to being your happy normal self, you’ll be kicking ass at the upcoming concerts and promo that you’ll be doing. Be prepared for everyone including your own members to be screaming their heads off, literally, when you get approval to perform again. Keep writing those amazing songs, they have so much meaning behind them.

Mark: Aww mark slowly but surely you’re starting to get more of your little box and not being as shy as you use to be in the beginning. You say your dad post embarrassing things because no one wants to see that side of you but honestly that is the best things ever. Everyone loves your dad, he’s literally the sweetest person ever! Hope you get to write more songs for any the future albums.

Jackson: Ugh Jackson sometimes I have a love hate relationship with you, I love how open and friendly you are with everyone and I hate that because I wish I was that nice and friendly. You push yourself to the extreme to make everyone happy, which is one reason everyone else loves you too but please consider your health and your own happiness for once. We love see happy, wild, and sexy Jackson jumping around with his other members. Hopefully on your next album one of your songs get approved.

Junior: Ohhhh emmoa(mom) Jinyoung you are showing your true colors, more of your evil side more than anything. Which isn’t a bad thing!! You’ve always been sarcastic, threatening to hurt the maknae’s, stuff like that but you’ve been more yourself lately and its the best thing actually seeing it. It makes everyones laugh and fall for you even more. Hope you get to do more acting opportunities because you looked so happy with all behind the scene photos from your latest project. You deserve doing both things that you love music and acting.

Youngjae: My precious little cinnamon roll!!!! Theres so much I want to say to you but I’ll keep it short and simple you are so important in this group and don’t let anybody tell you other wise. You are the sweetest, cutest and your laugh makes so many others laugh as well. Continue to be the happy Youngjae that you are and keep singing your little precious heart out at every concert because people deserve to hear your beautiful voice sining your wonderful well written lyrics.

Bambam: Okay look Bambam you are growing up and even though can be a little shit head, yeah I said it, you’re growing up to be a great guy. You have the hyungs teaching you ways to be an even better person, honestly every time you and your mom are together I get so happy because she loves you so much even though her ringtone is an ikon song. Keep being the weird, funny, butt head, fashionista that you are.

Yugyeom: My precious evil maknae. You are still the sweetest little bean just like you were since you debut. Even though you’re like a huge giant now and do sexual af dances all the damn time, seriously boy tone it down before you kill someone with those body rolls, you still worry about your hyungs and all the fans. Keep being the happy little bean that you are because everyone loves seeing you jumping from wall to wall with your happy self. Btw please pull a prank of Jinyoung he’s been a little too mean to you lately and record it too for everyone to see.

anonymous asked:

Are you from California, too? I've only recently acquired the money needed to actually invest in a firearm, and I've been thinking about buying a handgun. What would you say is a good CA-legal handgun (preferably with a rail) for a person getting into shooting?

Being in California, we have been blessed by our Dear Leaders with a list of approved handguns that they graciously allow us to purchase. (Off-roster handguns are still legal, but only obtainable via a private sale.)

Fortunately, the list does contain plenty of models from all the standards - Glock, Beretta, CZ, Sig Sauer, Smith & Wesson, etc.

Hard to go wrong with a Glock, just take the time to handle the different sizes (full, compact, sub-compact) and if possible shoot a few different calibers. They probably have the best aftermarket available.

CZ-75s are incredibly popular and many people prefer them over Glocks.

Smith & Wesson’s M&P Shield pistols are another solid choice. They also make plenty of nice revolvers if that’s what you’re looking for (although note that you probably won’t have a rail on a revolver).

All this was written with the idea of getting a gun for both recreational shooting and home defense, meaning you should get something in 9x19, .40 S&W, or .45 ACP. If you only care about sport shooting, then a nice .22lr pistol (like the Ruger Mark III/IV or Browning Buck Mark) will do just fine.

President Dingleberry

Everyone has met a guy that straight up smells like shit. There are some people that have the unique combo of lax hygiene and unapproachable power that allows them to cultivate a very detectable odor of feces.
Now imagine yourself a republican intern. You volunteered just two hours at a local GOP office calling old people once, but you are now on a list. Congratulations! Someone has decided your unemployed ass is just the kind of person they need in the White House: breathing. You are one of the “best people” on this tiny, untrained staff running the largest military state in the world. What a way to fail up! You find yourself in the fabled West Wing, in an elevator. Because our dear leader is afraid of stairs, you, the Man, and an ever present secret service guard are stuck in a small box. One of the staffers started hitting levers in a service closet trying to figure out the state of the art lighting solution in the many meeting rooms under the White House and killed the lift.
Then you smell it. Cutting through the stale cigarette smoke from the guard, the must of your old confirmation suit, and the smell of Success, is the unmistakable smack of shit. Someone in this elevator is packing some streaks. You second guess yourself. It’s been known to happen. A bad morning with no shower, or a rushed wipe, the stank has caught a few noble men. But it’s not you. You just got here freshly showered. It’s 5am! You sneak a glance at the secret service dude. His cheek is a bit red from a quick shave. His hair is perfect. You now can really smell him and he smells of … lilac? Let’s get back to that later. There can only be one ass in this box stinking up the place. You think back to Melania’s instant scowl at the inauguration and Abe’s disgust at touching the man. They all smelled it too, but like you and every other idiot in the land, you dare not tell the Donald himself that he smells of brown and coily. Who would? Who would tell the man that sues reporters for telling the truth that he doesn’t smell so fresh? You’re not suicidal.
God it’s bad. It’s no wonder your manager quit. This place is spilling like rats from a sinking ship. Or would that be a stinking ship? You stifle a laugh and pull in a big lungful of shit air causing a rough cough that ends in a retch. How long have you been in this shit box? The man with the sole power to press a button and end a 100 million lives in an instant turns to you for the first time and says, “You all right, kiddo? We’ll be out of here real soon. They called a guy. Best in the business.”
Someone free from the demonic stench of a teapot full of turds really had called someone. There was a letter on that staffer’s desk when they started from the previous administrator. At the bottom was a cell phone number. Two disgusting hours later the repairman that had worked in the White House for the previous twenty years was asked to come back to help the president out of a jam. With a deft flick of a screwdriver, the stuck elevator door is pulled open. The repairman looks down at the trio and coughs, “God damn it smells like pure, hot shit in here. How long were you locked in here? Am I going to need to get a shovel?”

me, to my irl boyfriend: wanna meet my 6 new boyfriend’s and my new girlfriend

my irl bf: what /?/??

me, to my irl boyfriend: this is my queen, Jaehee and our king Zen and our memelord/god Saeyoung *dabs* and his ex sinner twin brother Saeran (bL;eSS HIS pure heart) and our dear guild leader Yoosung and *bows on knees* the one and only cat king, Jumin *bows again* and our royal photographer V *whispers* he is a blind baby and I love him

my irl bf: what the fuck are you okay

me, to my irl bf: *finger guns* nope not at all